Leo Gura

What's Your Attachment Style?

138 posts in this topic

Got secure.

Never had a relationship. Nor do I have friends.

Nice.

What good is that. ?

not that I care tho.

#PersonalityTestsAreLame

 

 

Edited by Salvijus

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Lots of avoidants here, me too!

Knew it before even taking the test. Whenever someone asks me a question about myself I just answer quickly and change the topic. But I'm pretty good at talking to others about themselves at least.

Realizing now it's actually selfish to avoid talking about yourself, the other person deserves to know who they're taking to. Working on that...

Edited by Staples

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Secure with avoidant tendencies.

Most of my avoidant tendencies stem from living as a teenager in a big city without any real friends.


Life Purpose journey

Presence. Goodness. Grace. Love.

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According to the test I'm Securely Attached. However, I know that's absolute nonsense lol. 

The test is too simple and it doesn't take into account the reason for your answers. Also its biased since you are doing a self assessment. People say I don't open up much about myself but I don't feel that way about myself so I just put how I feel about myself on the test.

When the test asks something like are you afraid of being abandoned or something along those lines I'm not afraid of people abandoning me but the reason is because I kind of expect it. See the reasoning for my answer is very different from someone who is securely attached. And this happened many times in the times resulting in my Secure result. 

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Secure

Score Mother/CG1: Anxiety: 1.00 | Avoidance: 2.17

Score Father/CG2: Anxiety: 1.67 | Avoidance: 1.50

Score Partner: Anxiety: 1.67 | Avoidance: 2.67

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I'm a privileged white kid.

attachment style.png


Intrinsic joy is revealed in the marriage of meaning and being.

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Secure


"Find what you love and let it kill you." - Charles Bukowski

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My Attachment style is Dismissive/Avoidant. Which is good to know because I've always thought myself as a secure and independent person, and all the more especially after years of this work. Reading about it though, it all makes perfect sense. Emotional intimacy? That's the last thing I know. Lol. 

Edited by WikiRando

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10 hours ago, Zen LaCroix said:

According to the test I'm Securely Attached. However, I know that's absolute nonsense lol. 

The test is too simple and it doesn't take into account the reason for your answers. Also its biased since you are doing a self assessment. People say I don't open up much about myself but I don't feel that way about myself so I just put how I feel about myself on the test.

When the test asks something like are you afraid of being abandoned or something along those lines I'm not afraid of people abandoning me but the reason is because I kind of expect it. See the reasoning for my answer is very different from someone who is securely attached. And this happened many times in the times resulting in my Secure result. 

   Furthermore, even if I scored secure, this does not correlate to anything in the future of a person's life. It's great I'm a secured attachment style, but I don't want a long term relationship at the moment, or any new relationships or deepen any that I have, so what was the point of the test?

   But hey, nice to know that I have huge potential for stabilizing an intimate relationship from short to long term relationships apparently. I'm just too detached to care about romance.

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Dismissive/Avoidant

I feel like the questions were too heavily weighted about parents. I don't know how much they contributed to me being avoidant. My childhood with them was pretty fine besides that I probably could've used more love and encouragement. I think stuff at school much more shaped my personality and avoidance.

I feel secure in my partner, but even still, there are some deep dark thoughts that I don't feel comfortable even sharing with my closest person.

My black "other close relationships" dot is off the chart because I don't really have any close friends of my own that aren't mutual friends through my wife, I don't have anyone besides my partner or people online that I would feel comfortable opening up with.

I don't really know how to interpret this or what to do about it to correct it tbh, especially the black dot.

disavoi.png

Edited by Yarco

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Dismissive Avoidant/Disorganized.

With my mother I love her then I hate her, which comes from being enmeshed with/by her. The other end of the enmeshment stick is emotional abandonment. These 2 facts explain why I am hot and cold in romantic relationships.

With my father I seek his approval but hate him. He was emotionally not present (emotional abandonment), and due to the enmeshment with my mother we had a slightly competitive attitude. With my male friends I am sunconsciously afraid of abandonment so I have a hard time letting them in. And carrying over feelings from my relationship with my father, I project that anger onto them.


"Yes is the answer... And you know that! Fasho!

Yes is surrender! You gotta let it... you gotta let it GO!" - John Lennon, Mind Games

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Healing dismissive avoidant/disorganized in an amazing relationship :) 

Read the book: Attached by Amir Levin and Rachel Heller for more on attachment theory! 


"You Create Magic" 

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