Leo Gura

What's Your Attachment Style?

138 posts in this topic

Secure.

two years back when I checked it was avoidant.  have matured lot lately. psychedelics have really helped. 

Another thing I noticed is when doing test  good old memories of parents came that I dont even remember, was those even real ? When you grow in this journey new memories of past comes and changes you.


I will be waiting here, For your silence to break, For your soul to shake,              For your love to wake! Rumi

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Avoidant... My best friend was anxious attachment style and literally the opposite of me. It's best to learn the others' love language and reassure them with that to bring them into secure attachment.

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Confused because part of the assessment is about parental upbringing. But if we’ve healed our relationship with parents even though we felt insecure *as children* these answers are contributing to a non-secure attachment style. 

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I got secure. I did a tremendous amount of inner work to get here. Secure doesn’t mean a relationship without problems. You can still face some very challenging issues. 

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@Preety_India

Did it. I love you 

 

E2C9C9BB-82FB-4BFE-8821-665638E91EC6.png

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Edited by Marcel

I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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5 minutes ago, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

Did it. I love you 

 

E2C9C9BB-82FB-4BFE-8821-665638E91EC6.png

39380B3A-3BE7-488B-8DE8-960EE98E0D14.png

So cute. I love you. :x

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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@Federico del pueblo

4 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

But who really does that? I'm also not gonna express my intimate, deep emotions to people I only met 5 minutes ago.

   The main problem I find with this test, is it's too simple and sometimes too open for me. In the test it gives a statement and below that a disagree neutral and agree metric system. While answering I felt unsure if I picked the right one, because I sometimes re imagined the context of the statements. Also, when it started to cover for each parent I immediately felt defensive about the test even more, and now I was having recall more distent series of memories relevant to that statement. When it got to covering for the intimate partner, I don't have any intimate relationships before, so I was caught in a cognitive dissonance there that I had to use Crysty as a stand in for that, and how I rated each statement was more frequently to strong or very than an agreement or weak agreement. I think that's what it would feel like and think like to have an intimate relationship.

   I think the exposure to and practicing spirituality, and experiencing no self may have skewed how J answered the emotions part, because I didn't feel as strongly emotionally anymore. It's not just regarding people but even friends and family.

   Another kew factir, I don't know about attachment styles at all. I know developmental psychology, the big five personality test, C.B.T, R.E.B.T, Myers Briggs personality typing, Spiral Dynamics, Integral theory, ego development. However I literally don't know Attachment style, and I think this too is what could have skewed my results a bit to 'secure'

Edited by Danioover9000

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Was Anxious - preoccupied (Anxious - ambivalent in childhood). 

With spiritual and personal development work changed to Secure...and of course there is always room for improvement :)

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Secure


"All troubles come to an end when the ego dies"

"God has become man; man will become God again"

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6 hours ago, Roy said:

I got "Anxious/Preoccupied"

 

6 hours ago, SamC said:

Anxious/preoccupied 

 

5 hours ago, Judy2 said:

Anxious/Preoccupied.  

same

Bildschirmfoto 2022-01-04 um 06.14.32.png

 

Edited by PurpleTree

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3 hours ago, Consilience said:

Confused because part of the assessment is about parental upbringing. But if we’ve healed our relationship with parents even though we felt insecure *as children* these answers are contributing to a non-secure attachment style. 

If you've healed it, then now you're Secure, or at least closer to Secure.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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Getting into the third page, 

"Who's father figure?" , which mother figure? I could barely answer some questions as it is something that I never think about. 

But mine was     dismissive/avoidant

I had a few stages growin up that it wasn't  all just one phase. I could barely remember by now...

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6 hours ago, Consilience said:

Confused because part of the assessment is about parental upbringing. But if we’ve healed our relationship with parents even though we felt insecure *as children* these answers are contributing to a non-secure attachment style. 

If its completely healed then you would have compassion and empathy to your parents. It was like that for me. while doing the test my father was walking through my room,  He was avoidant type, but I felt compassion and love for him, he did best to his capability. And good memories of him came, that I didn't even know happened. (like they say Your past is happening now)


I will be waiting here, For your silence to break, For your soul to shake,              For your love to wake! Rumi

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This was an uncomfortable slap of truth, a wake up call. It's spot on. 

I run away from any signs of deep intimacy in fear of losing my autonomy. And consequently the women I have had some relationship with have been anxious attachers, who get interested because their belief in their unworthiness is enforced by my dismissiveness. And I push them far away because of all the neediness I sense. Painful. 

Screenshot_20220104-121249.jpg


"Only that which can change can continue."

-James P. Carse

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@Leo Gura do you mind sharing yours? ?

I would believe quite secure. Perhaps being active in pick up is affecting the ”worry about others not caring as much about you as you care about them” more negatively then if you were not actively doing pick up.


At least, this was my experience because I was never able to consistently spin many hot girls and didn’t reach deep abundance when it came to them. In fact, after hearing so much from you about the importance of a great volumized city, I’m starting to think that perhaps the reason might not have necessarily been more so my lack of skills, but rather, the small city I’m living in (Helsinki, Finland). Altho, if I had kept going longer and didn’t settle down so soon (only 1 year being single after last break up where half of it was covid & quarantine), things could have been different.

But nevertheless, it would be interesting to see how you analyze your own measurements / scale of the assesment.

 

Edited by Migue Lonas

Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miguetran

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@Migue Lonas It’s on the blog.


"Not believing your own thoughts, you’re free from the primal desire: the thought that reality should be different than it is. You realise the wordless, the unthinkable. You understand that any mystery is only what you yourself have created. In fact, there’s no mystery. Everything is as clear as day. It’s simple, because there really isn’t anything. There’s only the story appearing now. And not even that.” — Byron Katie

 

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