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trenton

Intrusive sexual fantasies

27 posts in this topic

@trenton The clue about pressure and wanting t life to be effortless is important.

When I say playful, I meant, for no particular reason other than to enjoy it. No strings  and grand plans attached.


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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@Nahm can you tell me more about Martin Ball and where to find him.  I found a television actor who lives in England. Is this the Martin Ball you mean or is it another Martin Ball? 

Maybe you mean Dr. Martin Ball. He used 5 meo dmt and apparently got in trouble for touching people's genitals.  Do you know his middle name?

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my advice would be to have real-life experiences. install tinder or something, and eventually you'll find someone you feel comfortable exploring sexuality.

no amount of reading (especially on the internet) nor thinking will solve this aspect of your life. i've noticed that as soon as i started to have experiences, intrusive sexual fantasies stopped popping in my head.


one day this will all be memories

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4 hours ago, tsuki said:

@trenton The clue about pressure and wanting t life to be effortless is important.

When I say playful, I meant, for no particular reason other than to enjoy it. No strings  and grand plans attached.

@tsuki considering how I am constantly on a mission of some kind, it would be very different to look for things to do just for fun.  Maybe learning history with my brother is fun.

I used to play a lot more video games, but I beat them all.  I get glued to the video games and focused on getting maxed out.  The reason I stopped playing video games is because it does not bring a tangible outcome related to the grand plans.  I still love playing some of the Zelda video games I didn't get yet.  Many of them are free online and my brother and I enjoyed the minish cap.  I played a lot of video games with my dad and beat him in those as well as chess and other board games.  I beat him at chess blindfolded.  When video games were brought to daycare or school I still consistently beat all the other students.  The most suspenseful part is when I was equally matched with somebody in super smash bros.  I made an amazing comeback despite being down one life with captain falcon.

Continuing on board games, I like playing all kinds of board or video games which involve skill.  I enjoy figuring out the best and most effective approaches to these games.  This includes checkers and nine men's morris.  Other people quickly get tired of playing me because I am adept at breaking down these games and figuring out how to do them well.  I put a lot of thought into my moves, predicting what my opponent wants to do, and preventing their plans.  I had a pretty interesting draw against my statistics teacher who claimed that she never loses.  She was a good challenge in the block game we played.  I tried it for Christmas and got the idea of occupying the center and restricting my opponents through expanding in all directions.  My statistics teacher used the same strategy, causing us to wall each other off with a draw.

Most people don't enjoy the challenge and competition and prefer luck.  I like card games when I see the skills that go into playing them well.  This includes games like rummy.  I pay close attention to what my opponents pick up and put down.  This requires some good memorization and improvisation based on the cards you are delt.  Not only do I pay close attention to what my opponents are trying to do In the hand, but I take it a step further.  I keep track of who is In the lead and who is closest behind me if I am In first to determine who is the threat.  Therefore, if I have to give one opponent a card and screw over the other I know who to screw over more.  This lead to a brilliant play against my sister and her friends.  I suddenly put down a card which allowed my sister to call rummy rather than playing it myself.  I therefore allowed someone else to go out instead of the guy who would have won knowing he was the bigger threat to me winning.  This allowed the game to keep going, giving me more chances to win although I ultimately did not win this game.  It was still an awesome brilliant idea and my opponents played a good game.

Some games like Mario party require a lot of good luck with dice rolls, but I still find some ways to utilize skill and risk/benefit analysis.  I keep track of who is the biggest threat so I know who to target.  I won a nice game by making a counter intuitive move to not buy a star.  I saved the coins so that I could later steal a star from my opponent, hurting them just enough for me to win the game. I also recognized when it was necessary for me to take risks because I would otherwise be losing.  This was luck based, but I gave myself the necessary chances by holding out long enough like I did in rummy.  I liked my timing with the items I used on the Mario party board.  Timing is crucial with those items because they can make or break you.

I played another interesting game against my brother and cousin.  It involved drawing cards and trying to make connect 5 on the board.  I set up some nice patterns, but my brother interfered with my plans.  Meanwhile my cousin was trying to win so I had to make a few moves to prevent him from getting connect 5.  Eventually, I figured out how to use the center of the board to its full potential.  It prevents your opponents from getting connect 5 and sets yourself up In all directions.  I capitalized on this and ultimately won.  By the time I am playing a board game for the second time people don't want to play me anymore because I already figured out a very effective approach to play for a win against a competitive opponent.  Most people prefer casual games, but I like the brilliance that goes into counter intuitive ideas derived from careful planning and considering you and your opponent's ideas.  Other people get annoyed when I make wierd computer like moves they don't understand and end up losing badly.

I could go on and on about all the brilliant ideas I found these games.

In personal development I get the idea that I am wasting my time because I am not taking life seriously or pursuing anything grand.  One thing I noticed is that video games often get substituted for YouTube anyway and it is getting boring.

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24 minutes ago, kag101 said:

my advice would be to have real-life experiences. install tinder or something, and eventually you'll find someone you feel comfortable exploring sexuality.

no amount of reading (especially on the internet) nor thinking will solve this aspect of your life. i've noticed that as soon as i started to have experiences, intrusive sexual fantasies stopped popping in my head.

@kag101 that is pretty incredible if sexual fantasies stopped bothering you that quickly. I already noticed that thinking doesn't get me anywhere on this issue.  Thanks for this idea.

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@trenton

In a video game, focus leads the way and the virtual game reality is rendered as you go - or rather, making it seem as if the video game character is moving. In reality it is the same, but if you whip yourself around real quick, you don’t ‘catch that glimpse’ of that rendering on the horizon like in a video game. But nonetheless it can certainly be noticed. 

The simplest easiest way to ‘see the rendering’, is to focus more & more on thoughts of what you want. I mean that effortlessly, as in the very same effortless focus in which these words are read. Notice, everything you’ve focused on along the way led to this, right now, focusing on reading these very words. Notice also, this continues to be the case.

The simplest way to focus on wanted, is to make a dreamboard, and spend just a few minutes each day with improv writing. You will see with your own eyes that establishing what you want, wether a dollar or a mansion, by writing it on the board, and by focusing on wanted thoughts aligned with what you want, it indeed does manifest. 

Surely there will be some doubt, and many other emotions experienced as well. Understanding these is ‘getting out of your own way’ / enjoying the hell out of the conscious creating. Greatest thrill ride in the cosmos. 

Some people have reported back on this after being introduced to the pointing & tools, and often share how odd it seems to try to remember that they once were not focusing on what they wanted. They usually try to ‘figure out’ why in the world they wouldn’t have been. Nobody seems to know why, or have any good reason or logic to explain this. 

 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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