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Feeling more serene, calm, beautiful :P and aligned than I have in the last 12 months.

This chaotic rush

Blurred by disownment

Reunited with truth

Abandoned heart meets abandoned falsity

This residue of blood

The blood bank of time

Now coursing through my veins

Unknown frontiers of enlightenment

An echo of a force of nature I've never felt the future of before

Seeing the past future echo in the now is a surreal experience

This is how it all goes, heightened self swimming through annihilations

Exhilaration of golden purple, black green of an unrelenting comet

Through the blackhole of love, out into the big bang of creation

Time is youth of old, everlasting the immortality of strength 

Truth is the highest rebellion in the fast cities of the west, the greatest humility in the highest mountains of the east

This spherical caved mountain top of peace

Chaotic serenity, peace with the destruction that creates my ultimate


Have a good night fockers

Edited by lxlichael



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Depth Processing:




Exploring the cities of midnight pressure

Cannibalism awe at the inception of feeling

The raptured orientation a spectacle for the dark

This cathedral music is calluses for the heavens

Hell whispers itself through lost bullets

Trigger happy veins and neural impulses mark their territory

Fear that if I am not in allowance of their tyranny I will lose the coveted

But I will lose my mind if I commit the crime that immediately imprisons

Imprisons the soul of pure expression because elsewhere I have learned darkness

So now I play chords that hum new tuning 

Rings vibrations through the suns rays for a new calling

Seeing the trees spawn to forests of nirvanas

This escapism begins to wither away into the cemetery made for the weak

So the soul can learn to continually soar once again as it was made

Above the clouds of despair and prior incorrect learning 

Into the horizons of the abyss that leads to the world

That I circle and circle until my rebirth

This is more than just a rebellion

It is a surrender into the highest battle

No more wars to be won, for there was only ever one true war




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Depth Processing:




Devastation across the land of trains

Leading the mind down the elevator of God

Volcanic ash spills out the mouth of humanities time

Forming the heights of mountain peak cries

The virtue of misery, colourful pain felt throughout the social nebulae 

Cardioversion on a lost society, to wake up consciousness and send it to space is all we’ve dreamed 

This conflict and dissonance felt in a thousand spirals within all feeble human minds

Fingerprints on the greatest books in the greatest libraries run dry

Our greatest thinkers of history shouting from their graves

Firestorms of what could have been avoided become fate ceiling the destiny of crashing cultural trains 

Chaos to rebuild a broken species back together again

Mirrors shattered everywhere, Jung appears from the afterlife to guide man

Tornados of change swarm like wasps sent to war across the globe 

Great dams collapse and fill the lungs of humanity with its last saving grace


May the new world be one that brings life to this anti-life we are creating

Heavenly song

Is humanity singing it from earth or after we have met our final judgement with the gods?




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I’ll share my once a month (or less) reading list here from now on based on influencing myself on what I wrote directly above.

To live a good life you ought to stay informed on our failures of history, the greatest mistake of the universe who’s pregnancy should have been aborted.

Being purposefully negativistically myopic.

So yeah I get it, I’m a fucking beast.

It’s how you use it.

It’s how we use our propensity towards domination. 

Dominate the fuckers as intelligently as possible that are moving us back as opposed to moving us forward.



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I may have the greatest sense of humour; it's only a "so I'm told" however so its not even really my opinion, purely popular opinion so how reliable is that these days?



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Day 1 - becoming the most mentally tough human in the world, my 2022 ambition. 

A mission that’ll help me change the world.

(written in Notes on my iPhone - not the latest)


It’s 3am in the morning and I’ve had approximately 3 hours sleep on the floor of my office, now contemplating my greatest ambition for the year which stands as an umbrella that encompasses all other ambitions I have over this period.

Becoming the most mentally strong person in the world by the years end.

Maybe I already am, however I know about Dunning-Kruger which is just narcissism encompassed from the cognitive distortion reference frame. To its purpose, I’m aware as well of the positive reward seeking action that comes from having a far out goal. However apparently if it’s too far out people struggle to have motivation for too long. What does this mean? That unconsciously I somehow have the right experiences that inform me that I can, that biologically I have enough testosterone and dopamine in the right places to predispose me to believe I can and perhaps in part outside among others my intelligence that sees the utility in doing so.

For the former and the latter I have intellectual points to add to my formal X journal that will help point people in the right direction concerning enhancing themselves in important ways here relative to their own ambitions for mental toughness. In short, experiences affect our beliefs which affect our biology and the the reverse is obviously also true and experiences only in part include the very important aspect of having knowledge on how to leverage ones being in all the right ways towards greater mental toughness.

Here I am, still laying on the floor as I type this while simultaneously mapping the geometry that I shall decode and the plan I shall walk all the way to the end of 2022 to achieve my dream.

What daily acts will I need to do to achieve my potential? What single giant acts of courage and fortitude among other over the year will I have to do in order to prove it to myself without a doubt? This is the path to living an extraordinary life no doubt, tapping into the spirit of actualisation in all its forms in ways one could never previously conceive.

Sitting up now I ponder the practical exercises I’m going to include in my roster of daily actions… “I will need a biological focus, what areas of the brain and body shall I target? I will need a psychological focus. How will I use biographical memory and other important experiential states of being here? I will need a social-brain focus. Who should I compare myself to and even what should I compare myself to? For the latter, what are the most tough minded species on our planet? Lions? Gorillas? Hawks? Would it be a small animal or a weak animal? Brainstorming, who would be the top 100 most mentally tough people in the world.

And for all of these lessons I will need an inter-experiential approach to analysis and vice versa to draw out insight through this state of being we have categorised as *self awareness*. What parts of my awareness, emotions, cognitions, experiences in the body should I focus on most strongly in order to generate the most and greatest balance of insight for myself?

In this moment now blanket off me experiences of other family members press into my awareness from my subconscious. I’m reminded by the stories of my brothers and my father, my father arguably one of perhaps even the most mentally tough man of his age, 84, at the very least in our state of Australia. There are many things I admire of my father and some things less so, mental toughness has probably been his greatest attribute. Is this perhaps a reason for why I have assigned this as my goal for the year or is it merely coincidence that I’ve decided it to be the best umbrella ambition we could come up with together to best organise our psychology for self actualisation? To me there is more to it than just my father, right now I feel my past conversations with the universe and how I concluded that in order to have the greatest partnership with the universe mental toughness was always going to be the highest card for me to draw in light of so many other areas it could and does overlap with.

I’m about to get up fully now, I’ve already started the mapping and my mind has already starting growing areas of itself that advance towards this ambition through committed action. What are all the qualities psychological and biological of mental toughness? Well commenced. And now the story of my journey here continues to unfold from this point ensuring that I update my journal here within this respect at least once every few days.

My mind is silent but as I say that I feel and see the strongest projections close to my heart. I wonder what role these will play on my journey, mostly I realise that I am alone. That I will not get the support that I need. That this is to my greater good anyhow. That I do this for the universe as much as myself and therefore first and foremost I do this for the ones nearest and dearest to me that I would take a bullet for in a heart beat.

Maybe I will share inspiring writing but much better isn’t it for me to simply log my experiences so that they can be more easily directly inherited and learned from based on how I sequenced myself for this mission, a look into my inner world, those processes and even, dreams and visions as they prove relevant.



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