I think I was happier before personal development

[Thetruthseeker]

So I’m reflecting on the last 5 years of doing personal development work and I actually think I was happier before it all 

so much personal development feels like deconstructing reality and sometimes it feels so hard hitting that I wonder what it’s all for. 
 

I may know some more universal truths - but what’s the point of I’m not happier. 
 

learning things like  … 

successful people are not happy

Reproduction is an illusion 

I’ll be unhappy after having sex with my dream girl or buying a fancy car because of hedonic adaptation 

im constructing the meaning I give to things and telling myself stories … 

all these above things may be true but i honestly think I was happier when I was more in my ignorant worldview bubble. 
Of course, once you learn all this stuff it’s incredibly difficult to go back to your previous state and way of seeing the world 

I’m not blaming Leo, I knew the consequences… I’m obviously just struggling on the journey a bit

but the honest truth is I think I was happier in more ignorance rather than learning the worlds universal truths 

[Vincent S]

This is okay. It is normal and it isnt anything you cant handle.
Its hard to let go sometimes, and that is okay.

Nothing lasts, not even the Illusions. This feeling shall pass, just like everything else.
What will remain is and will be Truth. No matter if there is an (I) there to be happy about it or not.
Peace Is when Everything can be as it Is, and when there is no Resistance to It.

You are but a force that is constantly flowing, evolving, changing and morphing.
Ride the waves.

Edited December 21, 2021 by Vincent S

[Preety_India]

Maybe self development is only useful and resonating for those who have higher needs and are above stage Orange needs in life. 

For me personally having a car or anything fancy never made me feel like it's going to make me happy. 

In fact it was the opposite. 

I did all that career stuff before. I wasn't happy with my job, not that it's extremely boring. 

But I found my calling in spirituality. I see every stage orange aspect of life as mundane. Now you can call it a stage Orange shadow. Yet for me the breakthrough to happiness and fulfilment only came when I started pursuing spirituality on a serious level. 

I can say to each his own. For some people there is happiness on this path. For others their desires are their key to happiness and success. 

For me personally I don't consider success that is traditionally defined by society as a road to fulfillment. It has only created misery for me. 

I could never sit in lush house with fancy cars and say this is success. To me it never made any sense. 

For me true satisfaction comes when I pay attention to my inner calling and live life on my own terms 

 

[Gregory1]

Have you actually done personal development? Or have you just learned theory?

There is an important distinction between intellectual understanding and real understanding. Real understanding you will only get after you fucked the hottest girl in the club. When you really understood personal development emotionally - through practical action, there will always come bigger and higher and more blissful opportunities your way.

When you worked through the sexuality karma, money karma, etc. there might come entirely new possibilities.

When you have actually done the practical work and realized the deepest truth on an actual level, entirely new ways of being, experiencing and sharing with the world and others might open up.

 

[Thetruthseeker]

@Preety_India it’s not that I necessarily want a flash car 

it’s just the constant deconstructing of beliefs, reality and the ego is very hard hitting at times. 
and sometimes I wonder if was happier living life a bit more unconsciously and in ignorance. 

sometimes it feels like the more conscious one gets, the more difficult it can get. 
I’m probably just having a slight ego backlash or in the stage struggling with nihilism. 
but certainly it feels like a very deep, heavy and emotionally difficult road to go down to be constantly deconstructing my life 

[flowboy]

@Thetruthseeker Maybe you shouldn't be constantly deconstructing your life, that sounds exhausting.

How about instead you focus on constructing a fulfilling purpose for yourself?

Or even constructing a fulfilling relationship.

Or constructing a fulfilling career.

All of those also fall under personal development.

 

You can find stuff you need in Leo's early videos.

Construction before deconstruction.

Follow the hierarchy of needs.

If you haven't let yourself enjoy success, fulfillment and sexual experiences fully yet, then deconstructing them is not what you should be doing. You should be pursuing.

See also the video on burning through karma.

Edited December 21, 2021 by flowboy

[Thetruthseeker]

@flowboy great points and I appreciate your input. 

I feel I have constructed a good career etc, I’ve actually gone through a lot of orange with women, some social status and career achievement etc, but it feels less meaningful when I know it ultimately won’t make me happy (or I can construct a meaningful story but then I’m just telling myself a story) 

I think I’m in that ‘dip’ of nihilism where I’m doubting motivation even though I’ve achieved some things in life 

l do also think I should continue to balance construction with deconstruction so thank you for that insight 

[flowboy]

@Thetruthseeker The old makes space for the new ?

Trust it, welcome it, make space in your life for it.

Pretty soon you'll find yourself with a new direction.

[Brandon Nankivell]

These feelings are temporary.

All part of growth :).

[Nahm]

Blame feels better than discouragement, not knowing feels better than believing opinions & conjecture. 

[Raze]

6 hours ago, Thetruthseeker said:

So I’m reflecting on the last 5 years of doing personal development work and I actually think I was happier before it all 

so much personal development feels like deconstructing reality and sometimes it feels so hard hitting that I wonder what it’s all for. 
 

I may know some more universal truths - but what’s the point of I’m not happier. 
 

learning things like  … 

successful people are not happy

Reproduction is an illusion 

I’ll be unhappy after having sex with my dream girl or buying a fancy car because of hedonic adaptation 

im constructing the meaning I give to things and telling myself stories … 

all these above things may be true but i honestly think I was happier when I was more in my ignorant worldview bubble. 
Of course, once you learn all this stuff it’s incredibly difficult to go back to your previous state and way of seeing the world 

I’m not blaming Leo, I knew the consequences… I’m obviously just struggling on the journey a bit

but the honest truth is I think I was happier in more ignorance rather than learning the worlds universal truths 

I recommend you read Ambition by Gilbert Brim, and you should also look into the work of Shinzen Young. Shinzen teaches how you can use meditation to magnify happiness from material things, as well as find happiness independent of conditions.

[gettoefl]

self help is the outward journey, self halt the inward ... part of this site devoted to it

[Byun Sean]

There are certainly lows in this journey that you hit and question it all. 

 

Just push through it you'll hit your next level eventually. 

 

Or you may need a break from it all to rest and recuperate. Sometimes thats the best move if your burnt out.

 

You could also try taking a big break from the work altogether and involve yourself more in physical life and try that out.

 

If you've been doing this stuff for 5 years, theres a good chance it wasn't for nothing.

[Jacob Morres]

Same I'm undoing a lot of the old ways I did personal development. I love stage orange. I love making $, competition, mastery etc.