Tips for finding motivation to make healthy lifestyle changes

[flowboy]

On 18/12/2021 at 0:47 PM, Salvijus said:

Perhaps I should expand a little bit on what I wrote to make it more clear.

Sheer will and determination not to indulge in addictions is not going to work except temporary. Because addictions are very deep inside unconscious mind. This unconscious mind is ruling every descision you make basicly. It forces to repeat itself even if you try to supress it, even if you want to stop it and you understand logically it is not good for you,  it is not enough to stop it because the unconscious mind is far more stronger factor in your descision making process. Most you can do with sheer will is to exchange one compulsion into another. Like shifting from coffee addiction to chocolate or smth like that. But the root cause is not going to get eradicated like that. Your only way and salvation is to dive deep into your unconscious and purge the system inside out. There are many ways to do this. Vipassana is just one of them, which is the most practical and realistic solution I can think of. If that doesn't resonate, you can do a desert fasting Jesus style or smth 😀 whatever works for you. There are other ways also.

Regards 🙏

I can vouch for this.

My way to unsuccessfully quit addictions, has been:

• cold turkey
• discipline
• willpower
• changing my identity to that of a non-smoker
• atomic habits
• "JUST STOP IT"
• a can-do attitude

My way to successfully quit addictions has involved going back to the root of the thing that makes me feel a certain way, a certain way that I don't want to feel. Addiction is a compulsion to make yourself feel different than you are. It falls away when you are naturally feeling good.

So @Salvijus is right, it's in the subconscious. It's been put there at some point in your life. Usually unprocessed pain from childhood is to blame, but it can also come from later in life, or even before birth.

I bet vipassana can help. Personally I have no experience with this.

I healed my addictions with shadow work and emotional release.

My goal was not even to heal addictions actually, I was just applying the inner work to myself that I make others do on a daily basis, and found that I suddenly didn't need that mood-lifting coffee or cigarette anymore.

 

On 17/12/2021 at 11:01 PM, ChamberOfReflection said:

i'm too much like "meh i'll die anyway" and pretty ignorant & complacent  about it, living in a sort of fantasy land.

@ChamberOfReflection I get that. That is a shield however.

My guess is that deep down you don't feel enough love for yourself to want to be extremely healthy.

And also, you would love to always feel that love for yourself. And it hurts you that you currently don't.

A good question to contemplate, is:

What part of me is still in pain?

Edited December 19, 2021 by flowboy

[ChamberOfReflection]

19 hours ago, Ulax said:

@ChamberOfReflection I'd look into learning IFS.

Your smoking serves you in some way. For example, it may be a rebellion against your parents. A claim to autonomy.

Your, 'Meh I'll die anyway' serves you in some way.

Briefly read about it and will look further into it, thanks! it sounds like an incredibly interesting & useful model. 

[ChamberOfReflection]

9 hours ago, flowboy said:

 

@ChamberOfReflection I get that. That is a shield however.

My guess is that deep down you don't feel enough love for yourself to want to be extremely healthy.

And also, you would love to always feel that love for yourself. And it hurts you that you currently don't.

A good question to contemplate, is:

What part of me is still in pain?

Oh wow, actually that's seriously spot on. 😥

I'll reflect on that further and the emotions im trying to push away when I have these urges. That's a really good reminder, thank you.

 

[Michael569]

Go to oncology clinic for respiratory illness. Sit in visitor's room and observe around you. Chances are you will see & present & past smokers. In striped pyjamas, bone & skin, pulling their IV with glowing chemo bag with them. Hair has long gone. Some of them coughing out bits of their lungs in small tissue.

Maybe you need fear to motivate you. Sometimes that works equally well to cut out a habit like that. 

[Rigel]

Do you have an overarching goal for your life? Like something that will require you to actually have vitality in order to achieve?

I like how Paul Chek puts it. He says something like "Having a dream is the first step towards change because if you don't have a dream you don't have anything worth changing for" (I am paraphrasing I don't remember exactly)

[Striving for more]

20 hours ago, flowboy said:

I can vouch for this.

My way to unsuccessfully quit addictions, has been:

• changing my identity to that of a non-smoker
• atomic habits

@flowboy 

1. Do u propose book Atomic Habits is ineffective/not optimal, or it's just not effective for  addictions (but good for habit/skill building )  
2. Surprised changing your identity didn't work, I thought Identity was the root.
3. By cold turkey do u mean even if u quit smoking for long time u would instantly return to it once exposed to the social triggers? (cos happened to me multiple times)

Edited December 20, 2021 by Striving for more

[flowboy]

30 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

Do u propose book Atomic Habits is ineffective/not optimal, or it's just not effective for  addictions (but good for habit/skill building )  

Good for skill building, also for habit change.

Doesn't address the root cause of addiction.

You can use it to stop smoking, but then another addiction would take its place, such as video binging, or sugar, or coffee.

Still this underlying sense of not being okay in the moment, and needing to change your state, remains.

31 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

Surprised changing your identity didn't work, I thought Identity was the root.

I thought it was the root for a long time. And it's important and useful. I've used identity work successfully to become a person who eats really healthy, for example. And a person who works out. But I still had this addictive tendency that would creep up on me in weak moments.

33 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

By cold turkey do u mean even if u quit smoking for long time u would instantly return to it once exposed to the social triggers? (cos happened to me multiple times)

Cold turkey is quitting completely from one day to the next, as opposed to cutting down.

Yes, it happened to me as well that after being quit for a long time, I was exposed to the same triggers (for me it was strong emotions), and within 3 days went back to smoking 12 cigarettes a day.

[JonasVE12]

12 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Go to oncology clinic for respiratory illness. Sit in visitor's room and observe around you. Chances are you will see & present & past smokers. In striped pyjamas, bone & skin, pulling their IV with glowing chemo bag with them. Hair has long gone. Some of them coughing out bits of their lungs in small tissue.

Maybe you need fear to motivate you. Sometimes that works equally well to cut out a habit like that. 

That's very true. Recently I told 2 girl friends of mine about the negatieve effects smoking has on their skin and beauty. I showed some pictures of women who smoke and how the smoking affected how they look. 

They both quit the same day. Fear is powerful.