BenG

How do I stop being such a selfish fuck?

17 posts in this topic

Selfish fucks aren't allowed to comment here! :P

The main thing I’m looking for here is a daily practice or routine that will help lower the egos general self-centeredness and raise the capacity to love. What practices have you found success with? What has not worked? Also, how do you identify the selfish bullshit of your ego and let it go? I'm looking for something I can use in day-to-day life, so not psychedelics.

I’ve been interested in the idea that there’s a correlation between selflessness and one’s ability to love. My understanding of Leo’s idea is something like “love is what you want most, you love by being less selfish, selfishness is caused by survival agenda”. So, really this should come down to sorting out survival agenda. Of course, “survival” in a super broad sense; most survival needs aren’t life and death at all. A lot of “survival” needs are just petty bullshit. I think it could be said that one may raise their capacity to love by letting go of petty bullshit.

Let me know what’s worked for you! If you can’t answer fully, pointing me to some helpful resources would be appreciated. Thank you and much love to you all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The very fact that you ask the question proves you are not that. If "selfish fuck" is all you are and all you ever could be, then the question would not arise. The ego, which is not an actual thing or "entity", but a mix of "I", with thoughts/ideas, feelings one has about oneself. What are you when you do not have a thought about yourself? What you desire is not to "not be a selfish fuck", but happiness. That's all desire is. The pursuit of happiness.
The desire for happiness or to love comes from the happiness or love that is already present within you. How can you know what love is if it was not already within you? Happiness ,peace, and love are not separate things. In happiness there is peace and love. In love, there is peace and happiness. In peace, there is love and happiness. They are inseparable, and in any experience of one, is the other.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The word "selfish" is pretty subjective. 

A mother trying to protect her child is selfish to some but not selfish to others 

Similarly self care is not selfishness. 

But society....... 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@BenG Explore new ways to give and realize that's all that you've ever wanted, to enrich others with love, it takes time, you will grow into being more selfless with time  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just get more selfish, does anything feel better than making someone feel better? 


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@BenG I volunteered at a youth club to give local kids a mixture of fun and educational activities mixed up with some stage blue discipline and belonging. It made me spend less time navel gazing into myself and more focused on organising and helping others. Also good for taking responsibility, turning up, being in charge even if I didn't feel like it that week. But any kind of service to others is good really. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@BenG

I would recommend watching Leo's videos about Spiral Dynamics, stages orange and green. It seems like you are in transition between these stages. You might get many insights from videos.

Other simple things you can do:

  • while talking to people notice how much you talk about yourself and try to genuinely be interested more in them, listen and talk more about others
  • give money to beggars or whoever needs it. even if they are cheating on you - it doesn't matter, it's just their survival mechanism, appreciate
  • do unconditional spontaneous good deeds. and see how you feel
  • give away some stuff you really like to smb who needs it not wanting anything in return
  • in general - be curious about others, try to learn their perspective even if you don't agree with them

good luck )

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

meditation is the only freedom in life and the only weapon to touch the apparent ego

all else is ineffective

strap yourself in punch the clock do the time

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@BenG A seemingly selfless person can help people just to feed his or hers ego.

A truly selfless person can act in seemingly selfish ways because it is in alignment with the universe.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, BenG said:

Selfish fucks aren't allowed to comment here! 

Selfish fucks break rules, and here's one, and he's tellin' ya: be selfish, it erases all your ideas about becoming a selfless fuck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now