EntheogenTruthSeeker

Leaving Actualized Forum

38 posts in this topic

After Leo locking a post about the literal best night of my entire life, better than any psychedelic high or anything, it’s obvious that he will never understand my raw authenticity and vision. 
 

He’s never met me and I don’t expect him to support my unique path, it is nothing like his hermit lifestyle of perfect conduct, lol. 
 

I am too quirky to be in a community of someone else. I am going to create my own community of: mentally ill, spiritual, shamanic, psychic, outcasts, raving, manic, and “unlovable” people to shower love and support. 
 

This community has limits and a demonization of some of the most beautiful aspects of reality, infinite liberation of neurosis. It appears there is a massive shadow and fear of mental illness and radical self expression, even though I harm nobody. After that thread got locked in dating section, I became suicidal. I’m done trying to fit in here. 
 

Nothing personal. It’s all love. Just I have to carve my own path and stop being Leo’s fanboy. I have better and more unique visionary things to manifest with my god given talents I have and Leo has facilitated me cultivating. 
 

I love you Leo. See you on the other side of eternity one day❤️??


Love Is The Answer: LSD Awakening

 

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@EntheogenTruthSeeker :C sorry to see you go, well please dont feel singled out, i had made a post about kundalini and my signs of it coming about. that post was taken down as well. i hope you find truth and wish you love and a farewell :] 

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I can definitely resonate with the stuff you said about the community here. The spiritual path is a lot different for those of us with mental illness. Hopefully one day there will be more of an open environment. Neurotypical bias is a strong cause of devilry at times. 


Everybody wanna be a mystic, but nobody wanna dissolve themselves to the point of a psych ward visit. 
https://youtu.be/5i5jGU9wn2M?si=-rXSAiT1MMZrdBtY

 

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   Hopefully you get the necessary pro help outside this forum wherever you go, but don't kid yourself, you will be back one day posting like it's nothing.

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@EntheogenTruthSeeker much love and hopefully I'll keep up with you on your yt channel. I know what you mean, this forum is strictly moderated to comply with Leo's approach. It is what it is. I already belong to several other forums alongside this one to get a broader community. 

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I don't believe we've ever spoken, but sorry to see you go.  Sometimes people on the spiritual journey can view mental illness as a path gone wrong, rather than a unique path unto itself so I understand your feelings as someone with bipolar as well.  Your journey is valid; but perhaps people here are placing limits on you not to hurt you, but to help you.  Sometimes containment is a good thing, you know?  I think there is probably a middle ground here, that your feelings are valid, but that posts here also have to have a certain amount of information/quality to them to maintain integrity of the forum as this is a place of sharing knowledge and mutual growth.

What I am trying to say is, I feel that sometimes people get the wrong impression of those with mental illness on the path, but also, that the threads probably didn't need to be there - I don't think they were up to par with what this forum is trying to go for.  They felt to me more like journal posts.  There is the option of making a journal, too and you can share anything you would like; so it isn't like you are being barred from posting - just that certain posts go in certain places and that you'll have to use your intuition to decide in the future which goes where a little better.  It's really no big deal and nothing that you would need to leave this place over.

You're totally welcome here.  I love that this place has people who are on all sorts of different journeys.  Don't peace out just 'cause of one thread - I've had people put limits on my threads before, too.  It can feel really annoying in the moment, but there is always an alternative. 

Come journal with us!  Muahahah.

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Yea I feel you. Sometimes the forum is brutal. I went through a period of exhaustion, took a break and came back. Avoided certain things. Now I'm doing okay. I felt like I wanted to leave it forever. But it's not too bad. Just interact with those who understand you. Although that's a really an uphill task here. 

I wish you well. Don't take anything like a forum too seriously. If Life is good,thats all that matters. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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Don’t take it personally. 
 

instead maybe try to make higher quality distinctions about the type of posts that make sense on the forum. Your party and raves maybe better for friends on Facebook than a personal growth forum. 
 


 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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5 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

Neurotypical bias is a strong cause of devilry at times. 

As is mental illness.

Maybe people have trouble understanding one another when we think and act different.

I tend to try to take responsibility for my neurosis instead of blaming people who don't have them for not people pleasing me.

Edited by Thought Art

 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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7 hours ago, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

After that thread got locked in dating section, I became suicidal

?????

You need help from a professional, my friend. 


Dont look at me! Look inside!

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4 minutes ago, Rilles said:

?????

You need help from a professional, my friend. 

This is probably true. I can understand you feeling some shame or hurt about it.

Keep working toward mental health instead of taking pride in your illness and blaming others. If you want.

It's a path you may take which has many rewards.

Edited by Thought Art

 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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I gotta agree with Rilles man.

One of the most valuable supports I have is a therapist. It helps keep things grounded while I explore consciousness and go through the path. 

You seem like a cool dude and I don't think there is anything wrong with going your own way, but in my own experience, setting boundaries are a good thing and necessary for understanding who we are, so I understand Leo too.

Good luck, love yourself, and never give up.

Edited by SgtPepper

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I would suggest you have a therapist on board. 

I don't wish to offend you in any way at all 

But just saying what naturally came to me that sometimes when I read your threads, I felt like it was coming across as mentally unstable or a bit too much to be considered normal. 

Again normal is pretty subjective. 

But still. It was a bit hyper, felt like an advertisement. 

 

 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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Sometimes, this forum have cult-like patterns and people here try to align their unique personality with Leo's personal preferences and biases.

They forget that they don't have to be Leo in order to reach God.

At any time during the history, people look to follow a paved road that fits 1 person out of billons rather than be brave enough and walk in unpaved road, because it's scary.

 

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8 hours ago, Rilles said:

?????

You need help from a professional, my friend. 

Hanna needed 13 reasons to commit suicide, and even then I thought she was a drama queen.


Foolish until proven other-wise ;)

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19 hours ago, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

After Leo locking a post about the literal best night of my entire life, better than any psychedelic high or anything, it’s obvious that he will never understand my raw authenticity and vision. 
 

He’s never met me and I don’t expect him to support my unique path, it is nothing like his hermit lifestyle of perfect conduct, lol. 
 

I am too quirky to be in a community of someone else. I am going to create my own community of: mentally ill, spiritual, shamanic, psychic, outcasts, raving, manic, and “unlovable” people to shower love and support. 
 

This community has limits and a demonization of some of the most beautiful aspects of reality, infinite liberation of neurosis. It appears there is a massive shadow and fear of mental illness and radical self expression, even though I harm nobody. After that thread got locked in dating section, I became suicidal. I’m done trying to fit in here. 
 

Nothing personal. It’s all love. Just I have to carve my own path and stop being Leo’s fanboy. I have better and more unique visionary things to manifest with my god given talents I have and Leo has facilitated me cultivating. 
 

I love you Leo. See you on the other side of eternity one day❤️??

Ironically what enables the actualizers-community to exist IS the locking of content like the one you created.

There is nothing personal about it and nothing to be suicidal about. Take Care.

With Love

Gregory

 

 

 

 


Please do not take anything I say as an insult. I have 17 warning points and I'd like to stay on this forum.

You are Love.

1 year meditation, 1 hour daily https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/76489-1-year-meditation-1h-daily-start-at-100122/

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