Meditation is the opposite of relaxing for me, how do I fix this?

[Droo_]

So I've been meditating for the past three months and have noticed that at the end of my meditation session I start to feel uncomfortable and my heart starts beating much faster. If I try to meditate before I go to bed, I stop feeling tired and it impacts my ability to go to sleep. What am I doing wrong here?

[Batman]

Did you try to keep meditating while feeling your heart pulsing faster? Do you have any emotion or thought that accompany this reaction?

[Tim R]

@Droo_ How do you breathe during meditation and for how long do you meditate? 

[BipolarGrowth]

Try walking meditation with mindfulness. This video series is a great starting point for developing a good meditative framework of understanding. 

Good luck ❤️🙏🏻🙂

[Nahm]

2 hours ago, Droo_ said:

What am I doing wrong here?

You’re not doing anything wrong at all. Reminds me of when Neo asks ‘why do my eyes hurt’, and Morpheus replies ‘because you’ve never actually used them before’.  Good chance you’ve never actually felt deep relaxation before in your life, and now you are, and all of the ‘not relaxing’, the conditioning, thoughts, are coming up & out. 

You could simply continue meditation daily, recognizing ‘what am I doing wrong’ as just another self referential thought, a habit of thought which is emptying out. You could also express, and aid in the releasing of conditioning, by writing about or talking about what is coming up, which is liberation and results in understanding. The outcome is the same, and I’d choose the path of least resistance. 

[silene]

@Droo_ where do you feel uncomfortable, can you describe it? It might be related to your posture, insufficient support to sit on etc. How do you sit? 

[Droo_]

 @Batman I usually keep meditating after my heart starts beating faster because it's the most intense part of my meditation but not for too long. And no I usually do not feel any emotions that come along with it. 

@Tim R I meditate for about 30-60 minutes depending on the day. I do not usually think about my breathing during meditation but I do pay attention to my heart.

@BipolarGrowth  thanks! I'll check this out.

[Droo_]

@Nahm I could see how that makes sense. When I meditated when I was sick I felt much better and when I am tired I stop feeling tired so It seems my normal negative emotions stop when I meditate.

 @silene When I meditate I lie down, I don't think it's related to my posture. It mostly feels uncomfortable in my chest because my heart starts beating hecka fast. Other than that it's kind of hard to explain how I feel because my normal sensations start to change. Like parts of my body start to feel like it's evaporating almost. 

 

[Nahm]

@Droo_

Awesome. I suggest there are no negative emotions, just emotional guidance in regard to thoughts... which settle meditatively, or, in meditation. 

[Thought Art]

Meditation can be more difficult at first... many reasons. You can try a purging and then tonifying qigong before you sit. 

 

[Droo_]

14 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Droo_

Awesome. I suggest there are no negative emotions, just emotional guidance in regard to thoughts... which settle meditatively, or, in meditation. 

what?

[kieranperez]

1. First & most important piece of advice I feel I have to share: MEET & TALK TO A TEACHER
2. This is 100% normal and can be arising for many different reasons. Often this could be stuff going on in, for the sake of being pragmatic, the unconscious. Particularly regarding sleep I definitely have experience. The truth is that there's a lot of unconscious energy that is trapped and when you sit and slowly start to relax and open up over the course of sit but also the days, weeks, months, and years the more this dormant energy and aspect of mind will start to come up as it's no longer being closed down. With this comes the majority of the path which is actually purification of mind. Working with teachers, doing psychotherapy, body work, trauma work, doing retreats, potentially working with things like psychedelics, gradual changes in body, speech, thought, actions, and of course in and refining your practice is all in this directions. 
3. The heart beating thing can be totally natural. That said, I am imagining nobody on here knows you personally so it's based to find someone that can hear out what's going on for you and see what you particularly might have going on that's leading to that. Could be trauma, could be stuff related to awakening, could be a mix of both, maybe neither. Best in my opinion to find someone out.
4. Notice what and how you feel about what is arising and just make note of that. 

Good luck

Edited December 3, 2021 by kieranperez

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[Nahm]

7 hours ago, Droo_ said:

what?

If you have specific questions let me know… I’m saying there is no such thing as negative emotions. There is an experience of judgement, and of realizing one has been judging, and there is a realization of emotional guidance, in regard to how this judging feels.