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SQAAD

Is it Possible to Do Pick-Up If you Stutter?

26 posts in this topic

What if you stutter which makes your speaking skills go down the toilet or have some other disability. Maybe half of your face is burned from some fire when you were a kid or your nose is too big or you can barely walk with one leg.

Is it possible to be succesful at pickup then when you have an obvious issue and you are not considered normal or you shouldn't even try? It seems pickup can only work for normies. I have never seen anyone who stutters attempting to do pickup.

Edited by SQAAD

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Anybody can cold approach but that takes massive amounts of self-esteem, if 98% of people cant cold approach and their perfectly normal do you think someone with genetic problems will be able to?

its just not cost effective if he has a deformity he shouldn't be doing cold approach he should be finding social groups that reflects his values and accepts him and go from there. Some people arnt meant to sleep with many women and that.s fine you can still build deep connects with people and something good may turn up.

Don't create more problems for yourself if your a normal guy embrace it and be grateful I can see you using this to rationalize why cold approach isn't worth it and thats not a good mentality

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@Bando

3 hours ago, Bando said:

Don't create more problems for yourself if your a normal guy embrace it and be grateful I can see you using this to rationalize why cold approach isn't worth it and thats not a good mentality

Leo says that speaking skills are super important and women will reject you if you don't have them. Sometimes i stutter when i speak (it's not very severe and people who don't know me may not notice it). But it can manifest as an inability to speak exactly at the moment i want. I may have to wait or delay an answer for 1-2 seconds or change completely what i wanted to say because a certain word may not come out off my mouth.

This makes me even more apprehensive about doing a cold approach. If she rejects my stutter then what's the point of even trying.

Edited by SQAAD

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What you do is eliminate the stutter.

Working on your vocal tone is a huge part of game. You can't be stuttering. You have to be smooth like honey.

Rather than trying to make this easy, just embrace the challenge of making yourself much better.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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Don't let yourself down. 

I had a few guys who approached me and they had a stutter. It happens. They also got girlfriends now. 

 

Nothing to worry. You can approach despite that. 

Pull yourself up. 

No matter what. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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This thread reminded me of Paul Stamets' story of how he beat his stuttering habit. It might not answer your question directly but his experience is highly interesting and unique, I hope it gives you inspiration. 

 

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@SQAAD

Also an option is to own it. Accept your stutter, if you can solve it fine, do that, but for now you don't have to let your stutter make you feel less worthy. You can inquire into what you believe and feel about your stutter. Do you feel embarrassed about it? Do you believe that it makes you less in the woman's eye? How would you feel about a girl who stuttered like you? Is it a big deal, or maybe you could just love her anyway. If you feel comfortable with your stutter, others wont mind. And if they do, then they are probably struggling with their own demons and it's not really about you. Obviously I still get that it can make socializing more difficult, but it doesn't have to stop you. 

Edited by yolosmoothie

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@Leo Gura

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

What you do is eliminate the stutter.

Working on your vocal tone is a huge part of game. You can't be stuttering. You have to be smooth like honey.

I don't know if the stutter can be completely eliminated.  It is challenging to accept that this obstacle may be there for the rest of your life.

That is the biggest thing holding me back at the moment. When i was a kid i had a terrible stutter, but i went to a specialist, did some exercises for 1 year and a half, then my stutter was completely gone away for few years. Which was very impressive. For some people it never goes away and they can only manage it to a certain extent.

Then after 4-5 years when i went to high school i started feeling anxious again. And my stutter returned. It didn't return to a severe state like before, but i would find myself too anxious at times to get certain words out. My stutter was to a state where most people would not notice it. And i could work, get a job with this stutter. As i said , still most people don't notice it. 

Still though it is tough when people think that you are stupid because you are delaying an answer because you can't say it at that moment you wanna say it. Its a terrible experience to not be able to control your speech at times when for others it is effortless.

I will start doing some exercises again which i know will help me out. But still i fear approaching people in general because of my stutter. I usually speak well when i am comfortable around people who i know.

Some ''experts'' say that suttering is not psychological. I don't know what to believe anymore. I have noticed that if i am anxious i stutter more. When i am calm i never have issues. Maybe these experts are full of sh*t.

 

Edited by SQAAD

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@yolosmoothie

4 hours ago, yolosmoothie said:

@SQAAD

Also an option is to own it. Accept your stutter, if you can solve it fine, do that, but for now you don't have to let your stutter make you feel less worthy. You can inquire into what you believe and feel about your stutter. Do you feel embarrassed about it? Do you believe that it makes you less in the woman's eye? How would you feel about a girl who stuttered like you? Is it a big deal, or maybe you could just love her anyway. If you feel comfortable with your stutter, others wont mind. And if they do, then they are probably struggling with their own demons and it's not really about you. Obviously I still get that it can make socializing more difficult, but it doesn't have to stop you. 

No , i don't feel embarassed by it. I just don't like it because it decreases the quality of my conversations and i can't speak the way i want to speak all the time. Its very distressing not to be able to express yourself as you would like to.

I have accepted it but still i worry how it affects my life. 

Edited by SQAAD

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1 hour ago, SQAAD said:

I don't know if the stutter can be completely eliminated.

You should start with the assumption that it can be eliminated completely.

Work in it hard to test what's possible. You might be surprised. Plenty of people have done it.

Don't focus on the can't, focus on the can.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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@Leo Gura

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You should start with the assumption that it can be eliminated completely.

Work in it hard to test what's possible. You might be surprised. Plenty of people have done it.

Don't focus on the can't, focus on the can.

Yes, that's a good advice.

I just like accepting the worst case scenario, which is tough to do at this moment.. In your video about fear you said, that its good to be willing to accept your fears.

Edited by SQAAD

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@SQAAD No, the solution to fear is to face your fear and realize that it's mostly bullshit.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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@Leo Gura

53 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@SQAAD No, the solution to fear is to face your fear and realize that it's mostly bullshit.

 :D Lol  But what if the fear is not bullsh*t?? Sometimes the fear might represent/symbolise something legit....

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26 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

@Leo Gura

 :D Lol  But what if the fear is not bullsh*t?? Sometimes the fear might represent/symbolise something legit....

Even if the situation you fear might come about, what you realize is that that too is bullshit in the big picture.

It's about having a large enough perspective to render the situation insignificant.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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@Leo Gura

17 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Even if the situation you fear might come about, what you realize is that that too is bullshit in the big picture.

It's about having a large enough perspective to render the situation insignificant.

Sometimes though some fears if they come true they will not be insignifant at all. If inability to speak well to women comes true and you can't change it well enough then that will mess up your game for good with not much hope.......

Only in the cosmic scale it will be very insignificant & it won't matter at all. But for me, things that make me happy or not matter the whole world to me, as is with every living being i assume..

Edited by SQAAD

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2 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

@Leo Gura

Sometimes though some fears if they come true they will not be insignifant at all. If inability to speak well to women comes true and you can't change it well enough then that will mess up your game for good with not much hope.......

Again, only if your perspective is limited enough.

In the highest possible perspective everything is insignificant.

Fixing a stutter is not some impossible task. You're just making excuses.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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@Leo Gura

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Fixing a stutter is not some impossible task. You're just making excuses.

Fixing a stutter completely may be impossible though for some people. I have watched people with terrible stutters that did improve it but not all the way. Still the understanding on stuttering is very limited but it seems there is a neurological component. From my experience it is 80% psychological and 20% neurological.

My situation is not completely hopeless and my stutter is mild. You are right that i am making excuses. It is because i am unsure whether i will be able to overcome this or not the way that i want. This is why i prefer to accept the worst case scenario before it even happens, i don't know if this is the best strategy though..

 

Edited by SQAAD

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@SQAAD Stop being in your head about it and start taking corrective action.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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@Leo Gura

Just now, Leo Gura said:

@SQAAD Stop being in your head about it and start taking corrective action.

You are right. ''Action is what really matters''.

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