BenG

Questions for awakened people. Help me to understand.

72 posts in this topic

Hello good people of the forum!

 

As someone who’s seeking awakening, I’m hoping to get a broad collection of perspectives from people who have had one or more awakening(s). I’m particularly interested in people who have found God or realized God or become conscious of God (however you prefer to word it).

I’m not interested in the specific metaphysical insights you gained from your awakening. I’m more interested in your personal reaction to the awakening itself.

If you feel like you have a really good answer to one or multiple of these questions, I’d love to hear it!

 

1)     The very moment you became aware that God is real, (not a belief or a story), but real/actual, what exactly was your reaction? What were you feeling in that moment? What emotion best fits this realization?

2)     What were your biggest misconceptions about awakening? What beliefs were shattered by the awakening? Explain one way in which it was different to how you imagined.

3)     What absolutely shocked you, surprised you, and blew your mind? What was the most mind-blowing thing about your awakening?

4)     Did you feel anything in your body? Any intense physical sensations?

5)     How exactly did you know for sure that what you were experiencing was an awakening? Did you have any doubts?

6)     What emotions did you have post-awakening in the days and weeks after? Were there intense moon swings? Can you describe the highs and lows?

7)     Did you have any difficulty with ordinary tasks in the following days?

8)     Did you experience sleeplessness or realize you didn’t need much sleep?

9)     Did anything strange happen in the following days? Like did you start crying over the beauty and perfection of a random household object?

10)  Did you get a sudden urge to give up all your possessions and go hitchhiking? Or maybe something else on a similar level of crazy?

11)  Can you try to encapsulate the awakening with a single phrase? What would that phrase be?

12)  Can you give a real-life analogy to awakening? Like try to explain the feeling using some scenario we can all relate to.

 

 

Thanks in advance to everyone who responds!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Before you go on reading, I don't consider myself "an awakened person"? just sharing it for the fun of it. Don't get caught up in what people write here, it's their story and I can guarantee you, it will be different for you, although maybe similar. 

 

10 minutes ago, BenG said:

1)     The very moment you became aware that God is real, (not a belief or a story), but real/actual, what exactly was your reaction? What were you feeling in that moment? What emotion best fits this realization?

I opened my eyes wider than ever before in my life. The shock is so immense, it feels like you've been hit by a fucking freight train. I was standing in the bathroom, drying myself and when it hit, I just froze, eyes wide open. Words cannot possibly describe the immensity (and subtlety). 

13 minutes ago, BenG said:

2)     What were your biggest misconceptions about awakening? What beliefs were shattered by the awakening? Explain one way in which it was different to how you imagined.

Everything. I got everything wrong and it was NOTHING like I imagined it to be. And yet, all description fits exactly. It's as if you can see color for the first time, nothing could prepare you for that and it is nothing like you thought it would be, and yet, once you get it, you finally understand what people mean when they talk about it.

8 minutes ago, BenG said:

3)     What absolutely shocked you, surprised you, and blew your mind? What was the most mind-blowing thing about your awakening?

That it is the most obvious thing ever and that it was here all the time. You just can't believe how blind you were. When people say "this is it", they mean it. 

19 minutes ago, BenG said:

4)     Did you feel anything in your body? Any intense physical sensations?

It felt like going numb and getting flooded with adrenaline. But the focus really isn't on your body at that moment. 

22 minutes ago, BenG said:

5)     How exactly did you know for sure that what you were experiencing was an awakening? Did you have any doubts?

There will not be any doubt whatsoever.

Doubt VS awakening is like sandcastle VS nuclear explosion?

But you will be in utter disbelief, because reality just got destroyed and "rebuilt" in the same instant. 

29 minutes ago, BenG said:

12)  Can you give a real-life analogy to awakening? Like try to explain the feeling using some scenario we can all relate to.

Not possible. There is nothing at all that you could compare it with/to. 

I still came up with an analogy to describe how radical the shift felt: 

When you drop a pebble on the ground, it seems like the only gravitational force comes from the earth and that the pebble fell on the earth, not the other way round. But strictly speaking, not only did the pebble fall on the earth, but the earth fell on the pebble. 

It's as radical and crazy as dropping the entire earth on a pebble, but as subtle and insignificant as dropping a pebble on the earth. Both are the exact same thing, you see?

Still, this is just a metaphor and will pale in comparison with the real thing. Be prepared to be unprepared. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am not going to answer because I already did.

1 hour ago, BenG said:

As someone who’s seeking awakening

I advise you to not be a seeker,  instead just be prepared. Do your meditations, read your books, listen to Leo, or anyone else, and take care of yourself.

If it comes it comes.

The way I  see it: awakening is a gift, you just have to be prepared to receive it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, BenG said:

1)     The very moment you became aware that God is real, (not a belief or a story), but real/actual, what exactly was your reaction? What were you feeling in that moment? What emotion best fits this realization?

Amazement. But that was not liberation. With liberation there was amazement and also surprise.

3 hours ago, BenG said:

2)     What were your biggest misconceptions about awakening? What beliefs were shattered by the awakening? Explain one way in which it was different to how you imagined.

Haven't thought about this very much until just now so I'm surprised to find that I actually didn't have many conceptions of liberation that I took to be plausible. I pretty much assumed that it would be different than anything I could possibly expect, which was totally correct.

3 hours ago, BenG said:

3)     What absolutely shocked you, surprised you, and blew your mind? What was the most mind-blowing thing about your awakening?

That there is no one separate from everything, and there's only wholeness.

3 hours ago, BenG said:

4)     Did you feel anything in your body? Any intense physical sensations?

Body felt very unsolid and empty. Sense of scale and location was unsolid, and this seemed to be associated with feelings of acceleration.

3 hours ago, BenG said:

5)     How exactly did you know for sure that what you were experiencing was an awakening? Did you have any doubts?

Totally different for awakenings vs ultimate liberation. "An awakening": self sense expanded; some doubts. Liberation: completely obvious beyond words; no doubt whatsoever.

3 hours ago, BenG said:

6)     What emotions did you have post-awakening in the days and weeks after? Were there intense moon swings? Can you describe the highs and lows?

Can't really remember, but lots of gratitude and relaxation and amazement. Some sorrow and joy. Compassion. Metta. Lows were very transient. Highs slightly more robust.

3 hours ago, BenG said:

7)     Did you have any difficulty with ordinary tasks in the following days?

8)     Did you experience sleeplessness or realize you didn’t need much sleep?

9)     Did anything strange happen in the following days? Like did you start crying over the beauty and perfection of a random household object?

10)  Did you get a sudden urge to give up all your possessions and go hitchhiking? Or maybe something else on a similar level of crazy?

Not really. It's pretty crazy but also ordinary.

3 hours ago, BenG said:

11)  Can you try to encapsulate the awakening with a single phrase? What would that phrase be?

Unconditional peace. No-thing appearing to be. Stillness moving.

3 hours ago, BenG said:

12)  Can you give a real-life analogy to awakening? Like try to explain the feeling using some scenario we can all relate to.

Absorbed in a video game trying to get somewhere in it, but then remembering it's a game, and then continuing to play with the obviousness that the limits and stakes of the game are just appearances, but the illusory game character doesn't understand, because there isn't actually a game character entity moving though real time -- there's no game character in the game world, there's only you in the game world, playing as the character, but you're not of the game world.

Edited by The0Self

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Tim R

Awesome, Thankyou! I love these responses.

Your pebble-Earth analogy was very interesting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m going to answer regarding collective information from all of my various awakenings/important awakening related events instead of just one instance of it. 
 

1)     The very moment you became aware that God is real, (not a belief or a story), but real/actual, what exactly was your reaction? What were you feeling in that moment? What emotion best fits this realization? There was an explosion of love in my heart. This was very early in the process. Knowing God is real is much easier than knowing what God is. 

2)     What were your biggest misconceptions about awakening? What beliefs were shattered by the awakening? Explain one way in which it was different to how you imagined.

I think the biggest misconception was more of a background belief running in my mind I didn’t even notice. I just didn’t realize there is no possible way that I could even imagine it or the magnitude of what it is until you actually get there. The belief that anyone actually knows anything in any solid way was shattered. The belief that humans understand anything at all was shattered. Our highest awakenings are so small and incomplete that they are like the tiniest movement of a single atom in the entire universe compared to what can occur. 

3)     What absolutely shocked you, surprised you, and blew your mind? What was the most mind-blowing thing about your awakening?

Having complete insight into the enlightenment process and seeing it get dismantled in real time into complete illusion then reduced so much that it was seen to be ever present under all conditions and therefore entirely unknowable was pretty crazy. Seeing that you now know that, no matter what, any experiential reality/awareness will automatically be fully “enlightened” and that there is no work that has to be done unless you want to do it (as far as awakening goes) is pretty mind blowing. This was the experience I call Liberation personally. 

4)     Did you feel anything in your body? Any intense physical sensations?

Many times I had ridiculously intense chakra explosions, mainly in the heart and crown chakra. These were so powerful to actually send me into my first cessations. I’ve had a whole array of other crazy chakra, Holy Spirit, and clairsentient related phenomena. I wouldn’t really call any of these sensations physical. They took place in or near the body but could easily be felt to be distinct from physical feelings. 

5)     How exactly did you know for sure that what you were experiencing was an awakening? Did you have any doubts?

It’s pretty self-evident while in the experience. Study before and after solidifies the knowledge of whether it was an awakening or not and how rare and important of an awakening it was. With certain levels, especially the higher I went, there were many doubts that came up as your intuition will see things as being much higher than you’d likely be able to convince others to believe. I essentially settled somewhere in the middle as far as my understanding of where I’m at goes, but I realize that the initial feelings might have been the accurate assessments just as much as how I examine it now might be correct. Categorizing the deepest levels is so complex, if you even actually care to do it well and consider many different sources and disciplines and how they assess your awakenings. 

6)     What emotions did you have post-awakening in the days and weeks after? Were there intense moon swings? Can you describe the highs and lows? There are often state shifts that occur most of the time. The highest awakening I’ve ever reached which was essentially about seven separate ridiculously intense, unique, and unpredictable experiences in a row all in 3-4 hours. I experienced extremely severe depersonalization, nearly suicidal depression, Absolute Madness (which is an entire facet of awakening which hardly no one talks about having value, yet the value is immense even though extremely dangerous to relative existence), and new incredibly strange/alien states of existence for days such as feeling the organic nature of all things which is a lot more reality shattering than you would guess. What if everything in your experience for three days became overridden with a strong sense of sewage mixed with Divinity? Crazy ass shit. It took three weeks and adding an antidepressant to shake it. 
 

Plenty of other times had intense stage shifts/mood changes (probably 100+), but that one encapsulates a good extreme example of the highest of highs going to the lowest of lows. 

7)     Did you have any difficulty with ordinary tasks in the following days?

Yes, almost every time in the strongest awakenings. Most of the time, things weren’t strong enough to completely derail normal life though. 

8)     Did you experience sleeplessness or realize you didn’t need much sleep? Yes.

9)     Did anything strange happen in the following days? Like did you start crying over the beauty and perfection of a random household object? Plenty of stuff like that, but maybe more about abstract qualities of existence, spiritual connections to deities, other spiritual beings, and people. 

10)  Did you get a sudden urge to give up all your possessions and go hitchhiking? Or maybe something else on a similar level of crazy? I planned to go teach spirituality on the street. I had a local sign company make me a 4 foot by 4 foot sign that had a picture of the Buddha when he attained enlightenment under the Bodhi tree which said:

Crazy Buddhist ™️

Teaching Ultimate Reality

Pricing: Free, $5, $5,000

11)  Can you try to encapsulate the awakening with a single phrase? What would that phrase be?

The seeds of the crop have been planted; plenty of crop is in the bowl in front of you — just eat! 


Speaking figuratively in a more direct display of the moment of my Liberation: I placed a nuclear virus bomb at the center of all illusion to destroy it, and as I put it in place, the memory of it having already been there — placed by me — rushed to my mind.

12)  Can you give a real-life analogy to awakening? Like try to explain the feeling using some scenario we can all relate to.

The feeling of an insight coming to you spontaneously which unveils life creating a permanent shift in perspective and understanding. 
 

The peak moment of orgasm in the best sex of your life. 
 

Scoring the winning goal in the last second of the World Cup to secure championship for your team in front of the whole world after a life of dedication. 
 

Aha moment. 
 

Complete annihilation. 

The Big Bang.

Going into a black hole. 

The good guy wins at the climax of the movie. 
 

Power. 
 

Intelligence. 
 

Wisdom. 
 

Completion. 
 

Fuse all of those things in your imagination and you have a very rough idea of an important part of the process. There’s so much more. And one awakening is never enough to really have a holistic grasp on any of it except for maybe in some incredibly rare cases. 


“One can purge fear when one stops grasping after power, after things, after life itself and allows the Force to guide him. There is only the Force.” - Kel’eth Ur

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@The0Self

Thanks for the great responses! I don't think I fully understand the distinction between awakening and liberation. Would you mind elaborating on this?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@BenG

4 minutes ago, BenG said:

@The0Self

Thanks for the great responses! I don't think I fully understand the distinction between awakening and liberation. Would you mind elaborating on this?

In the realm of awakening, the ego is chasing experiences that other masters have spoken about and then claiming those experiences as his own. There may be some insights gathered in this realm, but it's just another dream of life, like pursuing relationships, money, etc. It is not liberation. 

Its a very misleading route, as the ego first hears about spiritual experiences from another teacher, gets the psychedelic/meditative thingie, labels it as an awakening experience and then goes on to tell others about it, and then the others take him as a spiritual teacher and so the cycle goes on. See what's going on here? 

Liberation is the complete absence of experience and distinction completely, it is not a special state where everything is working out just fine, or a horrible state either. 

Its more of an unconditional openness that just accepts everything, no matter what is going on, whether you're depressed or you're happy sipping on a coffee. 

Liberation is truly transcendent, as awakening experiences actually trap the one who has the experience, and when the experiencer goes back to what he calls normal state of being he will cling to the experience he had, so he is really bounded to the special states, and will do anything in his power to get himself in the right "state", this is why the yogis do all sorts of ridiculous things, they torture themselves pretty much, and us privileged people look at them like "wow so hard-core! They must be enlightened!".

Liberation is simply the case, and is always what is ?. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Raptorsin7 said:

@Fearless_Bum What's the difference between liberation and recognizing this right here as consciousness

@Raptorsin7 it's a truly sneaky game. 

When you say recognizing this as consciousness what you're really doing is creating a thing that is recognized and saying that it's consciousness. 

Kind of like seeing the ____ and being like oh yes that is a chair, I'm aware that that is a chair. 

You can use consciousness as a pointer word (although I'm so fucking tired of it lmao) go ahead ?, but really there is nothing, nothing at all. 

Notice how in the realm of language I just can't stop saying what is there lol, like I even have to say that there is nothing. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Fearless_Bum 

2 minutes ago, Fearless_Bum said:

You can use consciousness as a pointer word (although I'm so fucking tired of it lmao) go ahead ?, but really there is nothing, nothing at all. 

So in my experience, it's just noticed that boom this is consciousness. I can point to my microphone as a thing, but when I point to consciousness it's not in the same realm as the a thing like my mic. Maybe you can say it's the thing that houses and allows all other things to be labeled.

No effort, just boom consciousness. What is the difference between what i'm saying about consciousness and you saying "there is nothing, nothing at all"?

In your view what I am overlooking? Or when you say there is nothing, are you are also pointing to the immediate recognition of consciousness?

Isn't it not true to so there is nothing? Because there is consciousness. We couldn't even be having a conversation right now without the fundamental reality of consciousness. It seems like there is a something, which is consciousness, unless you want to say consciousness is not a thing, and therefore reality is nothing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Fearless_Bum 

No effort, just boom consciousness. What is the difference between what i'm saying about consciousness and you saying "there is nothing, nothing at all"?

@Raptorsin7 the thing is that we are using language, so really there actually is no difference in your statement and my statement because both our statements are still something. 

In thought, there is always something, even If I say there's nothing that nothing is still a something. 

If you wanted to see what I mean by there is nothing, you would just have to stop thinking lol, that's the real answer. 

If you want to get technical, your statements of consciousness may lead to misunderstanding, as it's very easy to adopt consciousness as a belief, not saying you are but it's possible. 

5 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Fearless_Bum 

 Or when you say there is nothing, are you are also pointing to the immediate recognition of consciousness?

Yes! Immediate, not even a second in between anything. So immediate that there's no room for thought to make sense of anything. 

And then thought becomes automatic and is seen as empty. It works without anyone there. 

7 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Fearless_Bum 

We couldn't even be having a conversation right now without the fundamental reality of consciousness. It seems like there is a something, which is consciousness, unless you want to say consciousness is not a thing, and therefore reality is nothing.

Oh man wish I could somehow show you even though it's impossible. This thing goes beyond there being a something or nothing. 

Try to imagine feeling extreme heat and extreme cold simultaneously and you can't tell the difference between the two, yet it is neither hot or cold. It's a bit like that. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Fearless_Bum So what I'm missing is I'm still thinking 24/7?

When I recognize consciousnes it seems like there are no thoughts, but you think I'm really still thinking I'm just not aware of it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Raptorsin7

It's more the belief that you're thinking. 

First I would suggest to contemplate if you even think at all. 

Seeing through the illusion of thinking and recognizing thought is the first big step into coming in contact with the energy of LIFE! 

When I say stop thinking I mean the belief that you think, just like I can have the belief that I'm breathing. 

Then you see the NOW-ness of thought. 

Like try speaking endlessly and notice that there are no thoughts, that there is only what you are saying right now this second and it doesn't stop or it could stop I would just have to disappear and then.......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1. God is not real nor it's unreal, it just what is.

2. That Self realization is conceptual.

3. How ordinary it actually is and so very obvious and self-evident, yet most don't 'see' it.

4. No.

5. There was no one to know or have  doubts.

6. Relief and peace that transcends all understanding/ the mind.

7. No.

8. My sleep has always been good, before and after awakening.

9. 3 things happened - I left a relationship I was in for 4 yrs, left the church, and quit the job I had had for 18 yrs that didn't really like.

10. No.

11. Infinity. 

12. This is it and all of it is 'you'.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@BipolarGrowth

Damn dude! Sounds intense! I loved reading your responses!

Any plans to still teach spirituality on the streets? Sounds like that could be cool.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Fearless_Bum said:

@Raptorsin7

It's more the belief that you're thinking. 

First I would suggest to contemplate if you even think at all. 

Seeing through the illusion of thinking and recognizing thought is the first big step into coming in contact with the energy of LIFE! 

When I say stop thinking I mean the belief that you think, just like I can have the belief that I'm breathing. 

Then you see the NOW-ness of thought. 

Like try speaking endlessly and notice that there are no thoughts, that there is only what you are saying right now this second and it doesn't stop or it could stop I would just have to disappear and then.......

Wow I just contemplated whether I am thinking, and I don't think i'm thinking. I think thoughts just arise, and I get identified with thoughts.

It's quasi psychidelic, even though I only smoked weed.

What do you think of 5meodmt? I'm about to order some and I'm excited to try it. I've done lsd and shrooms a bunch, but for the past year or so whenever I take them it's like I'm getting chemotherapy, I get so sick and get headaches.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Wow I just contemplated whether I am thinking, and I don't think i'm thinking.

@Raptorsin7 good, you're getting closer. Keep up the contemplation ?.

3 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

What do you think of 5meodmt?

I think it's awesome. I've never done 5meo dmt before, although I've done lsd and shrooms several times. 

Psychedelic experiences are beautiful and profound, you can quit hard addictions after tripping on some powerful stuff, forgive and heal long grudges, all kinds of magic happens with psychedelics. 

The only thing I warn people about is to not get trapped by them. 

I've seen people treating the psychedelic experience similarly to how religious people treat heaven, they turn it into some paradise that they must get into and maintain forever. The psychedelic experience no matter how profound is not heaven. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

What do you think of 5meodmt? I'm about to order some and I'm excited to try it. I've done lsd and shrooms a bunch, but for the past year or so whenever I take them it's like I'm getting chemotherapy, I get so sick and get headaches.

5meodmt is very clean. It's more similar to LSD than mushrooms. Very intense ego-dissolution.

18 hours ago, BenG said:

@The0Self

Thanks for the great responses! I don't think I fully understand the distinction between awakening and liberation. Would you mind elaborating on this?

Awakening is a profound mystical experience that often changes the experience permanently -- less identification with thoughts/ego. It is an experience of ego-transcendence, realizing you are God, etc. Perhaps the realization that you were never born. Seeing the emptiness of the void. If you get the short end of the stick this can result in near constant terror of full enlightenment claiming you, because it's no longer just some theory -- there really is no self, but you still feel like you are a self.

Liberation is seeing the fullness of the void -- absolutely everything is only the whole and it has no alternative. There is simply the infinite. It levels everything such that mystical experiences are no longer possible, because nothing is more miraculous than anything else -- there's only wholeness, and there's no separation, or real time or real context or history to the appearance. Mystical experiences such as kundalini energy can still arise, but often don't, but they aren't recognized as mystical experiences, they are simply what is appearing -- nothing being everything. End of the sense of personal doership and being located in the body.

Edited by The0Self

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now