Something Funny

Approached the first girl ever in my life!

49 posts in this topic

So, I was at the gym a few hours ago and saw a cute girl there. I was kind of wanted to approach her, but also was really scared to do so. And I basically decided to do it for the sake of it, to get over my fear, without caring to much about the result. So I just went up to her and said: "Hi, this is going to be super random, but I wanted to ask you out on a date". 

She was kind of surprised and it was a bit awkward, I guess, but it worked, and she gave me her number!

I've just got back home and messaged her on WhatsApp. Idk, if it is going to be a success (meaning she responds and agrees to go on a date), but I just wanted to share my little victory here )

Also, in case she does agree to go on a date with me, I don't mind some advice from you guys. Specifically:

- what is the best place to go to?
- if it's a cafe or other place that involves paying, should I pay for her?
- should I bring her flowers?
- how far should I go with regards to physical contact? Should I hug her, hold her hand, try to kiss her on the cheek, try to kiss her on the lips?
- how do I not run out of things to talk about?
- just some general advice

Also, please don't push me too much and say stuff like: "you should definitely kiss her, and then you need to have sex on the first date or it is a failure". Keep in mind that this would be my first date ever, my skills with girls suck, and I have never had sex in my life so simply going on a date is a huge step out of my comfort zone and a success. Also, I don't like rushing things too much in general.

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Awesome job man! Way to push your comfort zone.

10 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

what is the best place to go to?

Keep it low key, but somewhere you can also talk freely and connect. Casual bar or coffeeshop works fine, especially if you have a place you like to go and frequently visit.

12 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

if it's a cafe or other place that involves paying, should I pay for her?

You can. Don’t make a big thing over it. I would at least offer, being cheap is not attractive.

14 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

should I bring her flowers?

NO

15 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

how far should I go with regards to physical contact? Should I hug her, hold her hand, try to kiss her on the cheek, try to kiss her on the lips?

You gotta play that by ear. See what she is receptive to, as well as how open you are feeling.

Also depends on what your intentions are with this girl. Do you want some casual? A serious relationship? You want to have answered those questions well in advance of the date so there’s no confusion.

17 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

how do I not run out of things to talk about?

I don’t know any secret to this. You just have to learn how to flow with the conversation. That in of itself the practice.

The more you go into your head, the harder it will likely be.

Be curious about her too. You don’t need to grill her like the inquisition, but there should be a genuine curiosity about this person you’re talking to. Who are they? Why are they the way they are? What do they struggle with? Etc.

21 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Some general advice

Just relax and have fun. It’s not only you and her going on a first date, it’s your first date ever. Don’t expect perfection from yourself. It’s okay if things get awkward or you stumble a bit. It’s all a learning experience.


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Yooo, she responded and I am going on a date on Friday at 17:00, lol. This seems so surreal to me, haha. We decided to go to a cafe in a local park. I am so excited :D

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14 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

should I bring her flowers?

The only thing here I violently reacted to was this, dear god, don't do this on a first date

Really well done for the rest of it though! 

It's hard to give specific advice to someone else, your circumstances might affect where/what you do. But for a first date like that coffee or a walk is a good bet. You could also go for a drink. Point is you want to keep it casual and playful

If it's a low cost thing like coffee then you can offer to pay, if she fights it then let her pay her way, but try and keep that interaction playful

Realistically if this is your first ever date you're gonna be running on impulse and you won't be able to think too clearly about what you're doing. I'd advise you try not to plan too much beyond where you're gonna go and maybe some brief ideas of things you wanna talk about. Don't have too many expectations, just go and see what happens

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@something_else @aurum thanks guys! I got the flower idea from my sister, she was like: "be a man, you definitely need to bring flowers". However, I kind of felt like it was a whacky idea so I decided to ask here :) 

 

8 minutes ago, aurum said:

Also depends on what your intentions are with this girl. Do you want some casual? A serious relationship? You want to have answered those questions well in advance of the date so there’s no confusion.

I am not sure myself. I guess I would like to have a relationship since I am not really interested in casual sex. But, I didn't believe that I could go on a date with anyone anytime soon just a few hours ago, everything happened so fast, so idk, lol

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@aurum @something_else I have two more questions. 

1. Should I tell her that I have basically zero experience and that she is the first girl I went on a date with or should I keep to myself for the time being? What if she asks something along those lines?
2. I have still 2 days before Friday. Should I text her more? I remember @Leo Gura advising guys here to use texting only to set up a date and to not just chat about random stuff, is this the way I should do that?

Edited by Something Funny

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19 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

 

22 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

I got the flower idea from my sister, she was like: "be a man, you definitely need to bring flowers"

I remember reading somewhere that girls for some reason love the idea of guys bringing other girls flowers but when it actually happens to them personally they're repulsed by it

Make of that what you will lol

It's also definitely an older generation thing so if she's a bit older that'd explain it too

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13 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

thanks guys! I got the flower idea from my sister, she was like: "be a man, you definitely need to bring flowers". However, I kind of felt like it was a whacky idea so I decided to ask here :) 

Yeah your instincts were right. Flowers is too much at this point.

14 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

I am not sure myself. I guess I would like to have a relationship since I am not really interested in casual sex. But, I didn't believe that I could go on a date with anyone anytime soon just a few hours ago, everything happened so fast, so idk, lol

That’s fine, what I was more of ideal. You’re just getting started so it makes sense that you wouldn’t know.

 I would start asking yourself that question though. It matters to her as well. You might not be compatible.

25 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Yooo, she responded and I am going on a date on Friday at 17:00, lol. This seems so surreal to me, haha. We decided to go to a cafe in a local park. I am so excited :D

Perfect.

Friday is still a couple days away, so I wouldn’t just cut all communication with her until the date. If I was in your shoes, I would likely at least confirm the morning of that we are still going.


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6 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

I have still 2 days before Friday. Should I text her more? I remember @Leo Gura advising guys here to use texting only to set up a date and to not just chat about random stuff, is this the way I should do that?

I don't really have good advice about question 1 so I'll avoid commenting, and to be honest question 2 is something I really struggle with too. I play it by ear with each girl depending on how flirty/playful/effortful of a texter she is

My gut tells me that the advice of "only use texting to set up a date" works for people 25-30+ but if you belong to a younger generation there is more often an expectation of lots of texting/snapchatting/instagram-DM-ing etc. before actually meeting up

Edited by something_else

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4 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Should I tell her that I have basically zero experience and that she is the first girl I went on a date with or should I keep to myself for the time being? What if she asks something along those lines?

I wouldn’t lie about it. If you’re feeling super awkward and feel like telling her would relax you, fine. Or if she asks you about your dating past then I’d recommend telling the truth, which is you basically don’t have one.

 


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https://www.instagram.com/akourakin/

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Great work!

However, next time you open a girl, never ask for the date right off the bat. That's way too weird. You need to just chat to see if you like her first. Instead of saying you want a date, tell her you find her attractive and want to see if she's cool.

But anyways, you got super lucky and somehow by fluke luck your way worked.

Now that you have a date, play it cool. Don't fuck it up by getting too needy. The less you say to her before the date the better. Use texts to arrange location. Keep it simple.

Make sure the location you take her to has multiple locations to bounce around. Bounce her around as much as possible: cafe, stroll thru park, ice cream, park bench, shops, etc. Pick a large mall-like area with lots of places to go.

Hug her as soon as you meet her. Start touching her hands very early on. Start holding her hand and leading her early on. Lock eyes with her as much as possible. Kiss her half-way thru the date. DO NOT leave the kiss for the end. Find reasons to wrap your hands around her hips and move her hips around as you stand face go face with her. Make your first kiss very short, no tongue. Leave her craving more. Cut the kiss off before she can get enough.

At the end of the date take her to a place where you can make out. Ideally your couch, otherwise a park bench or in your car. As you make out, rub her body, squeeze her thighs, kiss her neck, grab her hair by the root. Lock eyes as deep and long as possible.

No sex for you. Just try to turn her on. Turn her on, then send her home.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Oh how fun!  Best of luck ? I hope it works out for you


⊱⊱⊰⊰

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27 minutes ago, something_else said:

I remember reading somewhere that girls for some reason love the idea of guys bringing other girls flowers but when it actually happens to them personally they're repulsed by it

Make of that what you will lol

It's also definitely an older generation thing so if she's a bit older that'd explain it too

She is actually one year younger than me (I am 21). And she actually had a guy give her a flower on the first day, and supposedly really liked it. But I guess she is an exception. Besides, he turned out to be super needy and got obsessed with her.
 

26 minutes ago, aurum said:

That’s fine, what I was more of ideal. You’re just getting started so it makes sense that you wouldn’t know.

 I would start asking yourself that question though. It matters to her as well. You might not be compatible.

I guess, ideally, I would like it to turn into a relationship. I just don't really believe it can become something super long-lasting (I don't mind if it does).
 

16 minutes ago, aurum said:

I wouldn’t lie about it. If you’re feeling super awkward and feel like telling her would relax you, fine. Or if she asks you about your dating past then I’d recommend telling the truth, which is you basically don’t have one.

Yeah, lying about it is definitely a big no in my opinion. I guess if she asks - I will tell her, if she doesn't - I will keep it to myself.
 

10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Now that you have a date, play it cool. Don't fuck it up by getting too needy. The less you say to her before the date the better. Use texts to arrange location. Keep it simple.

Got it!
 

10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Hug her as soon as you meet her. Start touching her hands very early on. Start holding her hand and leading her early on. Lock eyes with her as much as possible. Kiss her half-way thru the date. DO NOT leave the kiss for the end. Find reasons to wrap your hands around her hips and move her hips around as you stand face go face with her. Makd your first kiss very short, no tongue. Leave her craving more. Cut the kiss off before she can get enough.

Come on Leo! I feel like this will be too much for me to handle and I will just make it more awkward then I should. I don't even know how to kiss, lol!

Edited by Something Funny

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57 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Yooo, she responded and I am going on a date on Friday at 17:00, lol. This seems so surreal to me, haha. We decided to go to a cafe in a local park. I am so excited :D

:x:x:x:x:x *throws confetti* *blows the party horn* FUCK YES way to go bro I feel so happy for you hahaha

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11 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Come on Leo! I feel like this will be too much for me to handle and I will just make it more awkward then I should. I don't even know how to kiss, lol!

There's only one way to learn. You will never know until you try.

Kissing her is not optional. And it will only get harder the longer you wait. The easiest time to kiss is half-way into the date. Then it is least awkward. As you are walking with her, just stop her cold, face up to her, look in her eyes, run your finger down her cheek, and kiss her lightly. It's way easier than it seems. Practice visualizing it a few dozen times in your mind.

And don't you fucking dare bring flowers. Make the date as casual as possible. No formalities.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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I recently lost a girl that was quite into me because i did not kiss her on the first date. Do not repeat my mistake. Just try to sit somehow near her, that is key.@Something Funny

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1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

Kissing her is not optional. And it will only get harder the longer you wait. The easiest time to kiss is half-way into the date. Then it is least awkward. As you are walking with her, just stop her cold, face up to her, look in her eyes, run your finger down her cheek, and kiss her lightly. It's way easier than it seems. Practice visualizing it a few dozen times in your mind.

Ehh, I just really don't want to ruin it. But ok, I will try and see how it goes.

 

 

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

And don't you fucking dare bring flowers. Make the date as casual as possible. No formalities.

Haha, ok. Now I am tempted to bring her flowers to piss everyone here off :D

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6 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

I recently lost a girl that was quite into me because i did not kiss her on the first date. Do not repeat my mistake. Just try to sit somehow near her, that is key.@Something Funny

I already committed this same mistake. 

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@Leo Gura Leo, how do I forgive myself for being so clueless and screwing up with the dream girls that I met in the past?

The worst thing about all this is that these girls really liked me, but I was so pathetic and weak that I lost them. I have problems accepting it.

 

Edited by Tudo

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