How To Combat Racist Dating Preferences

[Nahm]

@Raptorsin7

Your preferences are only your business. Privatized by default. You don’t have to feel bad about them, or worry about anybody else’s. That’s their business. Expression (like you are) is the key. Parts catch up with the whole that way. We can’t make a home for shame and discrimination. We each have to do the work so to speak, of letting it go. We’ll never shame and discriminate enough to whipe out shame and discrimination. When we express though, we empty a bit, and are filled by source a bit. It’s the pinnacle of experience imo. The very, very edge. We are all free to make room. Express like your enlightenment depends on it! 

Build trust with the universe by bringing attention away from thought narratives, and to direct experience. The more you do, the more you see that it is good. Feel the relief in humility, in the recognition of not knowing. We don’t know what’s really going on somewhere we’re not. We don’t know how many people stop judging tonight, or tomorrow. We don’t know what we might let go of ourselves. And again, we only know each other’s preferences if we share them. They all arise of the same source. It’s a very beautiful thing. We are all free to bring into focus, what we do want. We are all free to let things go. 

Go to that part of you until there is no part. Express whatever arises. Whatever you give your attention to in this way is bettered by default of the nature of your attention. It’s a legit superpower. Not the kind awakening gets us, but the kind that wakes us up. 

 

 

 

[Derek White]

7 hours ago, Roy said:

Even if people are vocally disruptive about their preferences and don't have the tact they should have, the responsibility for their attraction runs a little more primal and out of their control than getting out of the toxic cultural matrix they grew up in.

I don't think so. Racism from your culture is definitely a factor and one that can be overcome. I grew up in India and I would see daily advertisements where a girl would get rejected from an interview and then put fairness cream to become whiter. She would go for the interview again and get the job because she was fairer. I would see men in ads getting rejected and after using fairness cream girls would start surrounding them. These are big international brands like L'Oreal, Garnier, and ponds, so they know what they are doing is racism. It leads to a lot of self-hate too. I was only able to overcome this bias in my teenage years when I came to North America. Recently they have made laws to ban such ads. This type of thing should be criticized and stopped. This sort of cultural programming is common in Asia and doesn't really exist in North America to my understanding so it is hard to relate to. 

I was so biased, I remember watching power rangers SPD as a child and thinking how can you make someone so dark a main lead (the red ranger was black)? But overtime I grew to like the character. I now understand how important deliberate representation is. 

Also, is there a preference for fat women in some parts of Africa? And don't they, in some places, find breasts not that appealing because women don't hide their breasts there. It goes to show how much control culture has on us.

Edited October 19, 2021 by Derek White

[Leo Gura]

You combat it by making yourself very attractive and high value no matter what race you.

Make your game so good that race becomes irrelevant.

And if a girl says she doesn't want to date you because you are Asian, black, whatever, tell her in a cheeky way: "Stop being so racist." Nothing will spike a girl's emotions more than calling her out as a racist But you gotta be funny about it. One of the best tricks in game: if a girl is acting too bratty or spoiled, call her a racist

[Raptorsin7]

27 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You combat it by making yourself very attractive and high value no matter what race you.

Make your game so good that race becomes irrelevant.

And if a girl says she doesn't want to date you because you are Asian, black, whatever, tell her in a cheeky way: "Stop being so racist." Nothing will spike a girl's emotions more than calling her out as a racist But you gotta be funny about it. One of the best tricks in game: if a girl is acting too bratty or spoiled, call her a racist

Yeah no doubt. This has always been my philosophy growing up a minority.

But I was speaking more so about cultural attitudes. I am on the winning of end racial discrimination in Canada, but it's hard to ignore when you see countless people who got the short end

[PurpleTree]

6 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

A lot of black women feel that there is a sense of safety that they would get from dating a man from a similar background and on top of that, a lot of black women are shamed for interracial dating.

If a white woman wants to just date white men because of similar background and feeling of safety, would you think it's totally fine or kind of racist?

[soos_mite_ah]

@PurpleTree There are some black women who believe that they can avoid dealing with racism by either dating within their race or dating other POC than compared to dating white men. White women don't have to worry about being degraded for their race in the same way. 

I don't think WOC who think this way are racist, rather I think they are naive. You can still deal with a lot of racist and sexist bs from people from your own community. You can't avoid racism by simply avoiding white people. 

[gettoefl]

all racial preferences are racist (and a sign of ignorance / low consciousness)

only to the extent that they explicitly hurt someone

in that video in that country no harm so no foul

preferences are in fact dumb too just showing narrow mindedness

but we all need them since we are spoilt children with too much choice and few ways to filter

so we opt for dumb stereotypes

Edited October 19, 2021 by gettoefl

[Jacob Morres]

31 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

explicitly

Also implicitly 

Those on the other end will feel the racial bias on a systemic level 

Like you see through dating apps and swipes. Though black women are probably not explicitly having said racist things to them, implicitly they feel the bias 

Stats show this 

Like thru their lack of swipes, lack of good responses from men, observing and comparing w other poc and how men treat them etc.

Like if you don't work through racial bias internally it'll reflect externally. I dont want anyone to feel shame for it as I think we all have some of it to an extent so it's understandable. But still has its consequences so it's best to be worked thru (if that resonates) 

Edited October 19, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[gettoefl]

49 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

Also implicitly 

Those on the other end will feel the racial bias on a systemic level 

Like you see through dating apps and swipes. Though black women are probably not explicitly having said racist things to them, implicitly they feel the bias 

Stats show this 

Like thru their lack of swipes, lack of good responses from men, observing and comparing w other poc and how men treat them etc.

Like if you don't work through racial bias internally it'll reflect externally. I dont want anyone to feel shame for it as I think we all have some of it to an extent so it's understandable. But still has its consequences so it's best to be worked thru (if that resonates) 

yes ultimately all bad energy will resonate and afflict

but preferences are private essentially and so we don't condemn people for having them

even though like i said they are dumb

[Jacob Morres]

20 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

but preferences are private essentially and so we don't condemn people for having them

Ya I agree. I don't agree with condemning most of the time, I think everyone deserves compassion 

But need to be careful because it's deeper than preferences

Edited October 19, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[HypnoticMagician]

If you ask my preference, I like unattractive or even repulsive women more. Because it feels good. I feel superior from every aspect. lol

[Raptorsin7]

17 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Lol. Give me a break. "Racist dating standards".? Other people's preferences are none of your bussiness. I can't believe how noone on this thread reminded you of this.

You "combat" those preferences by finding people who like you for you, DUH? Or making yourself more attractive. Don't whine about something you can't change anyway.

Lol. You are very dense to the topic being discussed

[Proserpina]

I know that when I channeled a few years ago my interest in dark skinned people heightened (I'm fair skinned). Then that gradually decreased as I returned to my baseline. I liked contrasting energies at the time, was super sensitive to it.  Perhaps your preference could be a sign of something positive. 

[PurpleTree]

6 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

@PurpleTree There are some black women who believe that they can avoid dealing with racism by either dating within their race or dating other POC than compared to dating white men. White women don't have to worry about being degraded for their race in the same way. 

I don't think WOC who think this way are racist, rather I think they are naive. You can still deal with a lot of racist and sexist bs from people from your own community. You can't avoid racism by simply avoiding white people. 

that's not what i asked though

[soos_mite_ah]

@PurpleTree Yes white women are racist if they only date white men for a sense of safety and familiarity but the same cannot be said about WOC because of things like power dynamics and history. 

[hoodrow trillson]

On 10/18/2021 at 0:08 PM, decentralized said:

I had a friend who is attracted to exclusively black people, note that black people population in my country is maybe 1 in 10.000 which is quite rare. I don't know how she managed to find those people but she was bragging about how she only has sex with black people. After spending some time with her I realized she was racist as fuck.

Dude, I'm realizing this about someone I know and I couldn't quite put my finger on why they were unnerving to me.  It was almost like fetishizing a certain race and doing everything to protect/help a specific race, only to be a closet racist.  Mind boggling.

[PurpleTree]

1 hour ago, soos_mite_ah said:

@PurpleTree Yes white women are racist if they only date white men for a sense of safety and familiarity but the same cannot be said about WOC because of things like power dynamics and history. 

lol ridiculous

that's the most racist thing i've read on this board ever

 

in terms of "familiarity" what does that have to do with your "power dynamics"

and in terms of safety your theory also doesn't hold up.

 

edit: thinking about it i don't feel like arguing with the believers of the "victimhood" religion/ideology

 

you win

Edited October 19, 2021 by PurpleTree

[Jacob Morres]

@hoodrow trillson some of the anti racists have heavy internalized racism in them 

They're fighting against their shadow or something 

Edited October 19, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[hoodrow trillson]

55 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

@hoodrow trillson some of the anti racists have heavy internalized racism in them 

They're fighting against their shadow or something 

Not to derail the thread but do you think they can overcome it by doing all those things?  It makes sense what you said.

For the record, they haven't flat out come out and said they're racist or done obvious racist things, but it's insane how far they go to look Not Racist.

 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I don't know how much bias there is to this, I find different ideas, yet this guy basically created the idea of race itself.
https://www.facinghistory.org/resource-library/ranking-humankind
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johann_Friedrich_Blumenbach


https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2151154/

Mostly, Blumenbach’s writing retained a scientific stance, but he exposed his bias on beauty when he wrote that the Causasian skull of a Georgian female was the “most handsome and becoming.” He stated that the most beautiful people live in the Southern slope of Mount Caucasus—that is, the Georgian people. He then speculated on the origins of humans and made his second error, by going beyond the available evidence. White, to quote Blumenbach, “we may fairly assume to have been the primitive colour of mankind.” His reasoning was that it is easy to change from white to brown but not vice versa. Time has shown that this view was wrong.

These errors were not the result of colour prejudice. Blumenbach refuted the notion that Ethiopians were inferior to other races. Blumenbach wrote favourably about “negroes,” extolling their beauty, mental abilities, and achievements in literature and other fields. He pointed to variations in opportunity as the cause of differences. His viewpoint on Africans was out of tune with that of the times6 and more in line with that seen during the movements for civil rights and equality in the 1960s.

I am not getting / becoming very smart from reading this. Although this bias is extremely constructed. It's like nerdy and bookish girls liking Harry Potter looking dudes and girls who like fantasy liking Harry Potter type dudes or equatting it with every fantasy novel read. I ask myself if there ever is a black guy. For instance or the person can truely distinguish high value and virute lol.
Media is also not doing a good job portraying bias. See every horror movie for instance 10 years ago or so. Black dude dies first so funny. I can't help but laugh, because the notion is retarded. 

I am bi-racial and the concept of race itself as well as some other ideas are just so shallow. I do agree I have a bias towards dating people who are also multinational / bi-racial because there is a familiarity in experience. Yet, people take this for granted also this is so rare to find. 

Having lived in China not dating there, I don't think it's as much of an issue, for younger people older people are much much worse. In south korea I went into a black hip-hop club on accident because I was invited to a birthday party from people from the philipenese. Although the ignorance about racism is very very obvious when living there (China). A bit to obvious, yet many modern people don't have an issue at all ! I have seen different videos where people think it's fine. 
--------
I received even a match from a chinese girl and an indonesian girl so far. As well as with black girls and mostly white girls because that is just the majority here etc. As bi-racial you could say there is the "bi-racial" advantage. 

Why bias does not really work for bi-racial people
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-between-worlds/201706/biracial-dating-in-monoracial-culture

The point is beauty itself is the preference and I like symmertry I could care less where the person is from as long as there is some form of secularity present. People have preferrences the question is how strongly are they evoked by bias itself fetishising people from different countries and places is disgusting in my point of view like seeing them as goodesses and gods. Having a preferrence is fine. Not seeing that the preference is myopic as well as not very holonic is unfortunate. 

It's always like this the most racist people are the least racist. -> Reject bias for strong attraction
The least racist people are the most racist. -> Deny bias for personal preference

I don't know I created a love map through a course and I know what I like I based it more on virtue and characteristics. I mean physically it won't change that much for the standard model male lol. 

As well as the idea of DNA and the concept race is just retarded at one point. Not denying differences, yet making it an absolute is retarded. IIRC it has some value in medicine. But, whatever I doubt someone really makes an effort to dig all of this up. 

As an example of ignorance of history/race/education
The pull and woreship towards western culture and hollywood is very strong from what I experienced in Asia. They tell me a black/white dude that they are thankful that Germany apologized for the second world war.
What am I supposed to think as a "Germerican" lol ?? 

As well as constant talk about superhero movies and stuff like this I don't know what to think of it so far. Meditation and awarness of my internal thoughts helped me to deal with bias on my end lol. As it was culturally indoctrinated.
 

Edited October 20, 2021 by ValiantSalvatore