Raptorsin7

How To Combat Racist Dating Preferences

61 posts in this topic

I was watching this video, and it was interesting to observe how honest and blatantly racist these people were in their answers on racial dating preferences.

Almost every single person rated Africans and dark skin the least attractive, and they said without any shame or second thought which I thought was interesting. It got me thinking how very few people can be that blunt in the west, because you will get dragged in the media. 

Can you even deal with this kind of blatant and overt racism? How do you change people's views?

 

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I had a friend who is attracted to exclusively black people, note that black people population in my country is maybe 1 in 10.000 which is quite rare. I don't know how she managed to find those people but she was bragging about how she only has sex with black people. After spending some time with her I realized she was racist as fuck.


Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost.

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growing up there were also a few (white girls) who only wanted black guys

there are also many black girls who only want black guys so it goes both (all) ways

 

 

how to deal with it? i mean you just have to accept peoples preferences in some ways.

i think race shouldn't be a huge factor in getting into a relationship

Edited by PurpleTree

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5 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

growing up there were also a few (white girls) who only wanted black guys

there are also many black girls who only want black guys so it goes both (all) ways

It doesn't go both ways. 

When you have different groups of people intermixing some groups will be seen as less sexually valuable, and so you create a skewed dating market with clear winners and losers.

I never really appreciated just how to savage and ruthless mate choice is in the 21st century

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4 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

It doesn't go both ways. 

When you have different groups of people intermixing some groups will be seen as less sexually valuable, and so you create a skewed dating market with clear winners and losers.

I never really appreciated just how to savage and ruthless mate choice is in the 21st century

those things change over time

imagine how it was 100 yrs ago

look how it is now

imagine how it is in a 100 yrs (probably nobody will really care)

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I don't know if there is a way to combat racist dating preferences in countries where skin color is a large part of the culture, but I think the best way to combat racist dating preferences is to introduce young children to people of all sorts of races at a very young age.  I was introduced to a lot of different cultures and had many books on different peoples when I was growing up so I don't have a dating preference and have had attraction to people of every race.

I think most people who have racial preferences as adults are lost causes, with a few exceptions.

If only there was a way to explain to people that those of mixed race generally are genetically stronger, more aesthetically pleasant to look at, due to having a wider gene pool.  Nature wants human beings to mix, if it didn't then mixed race people would have more problems rather than less problems genetically.

Personally I find darker skin to be more attractive, it looks beautiful in the sunlight and people with darker skin age slower.  With the way global warming is going and how we are treating our planet having white skin is going to be obsolete.  I have a feeling that human beings will evolve darker skin to deal with this problem. Just speculation.


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35 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Almost every single person rated Africans and dark skin the least attractive, and they said without any shame or second thought which I thought was interesting.

What's the issue here? People have differing sexual preferences. It's not racist to be partial in who you are attracted to, it's being authentic. 

There are millions of people that are attracted to darker skin complexions, that doesn't make them racist either. Don't be so silly.

Edited by Terell Kirby

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1 minute ago, Terell Kirby said:

What's the issue here? People have differing sexual preferences. It's not racist to be partial in who you are attracted to, it's being authentic.

There are millions of people that are attracted to darker skin complexions, that doesn't make them racist either.

There are a host of potential issues, but imagine being a black or darker skinned person living amongst the people who view them as inherently less valuable sexually. That would be a terrible place to exist. 

I'm not saying any of this is inherently right or wrong, I actually don't know. 

But I think most people on this forum would feel uncomfortable if everyone viewed the same specific racial group as not desirable.

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1 minute ago, Raptorsin7 said:

There are a host of potential issues, but imagine being a black or darker skinned person living amongst the people who view them as inherently less valuable sexually. That would be a terrible place to exist. 

That's not even logical. 

This hypothetical "darker" person in your statement would need to do some serious pickup/approach to even get intel on the quantity of people that are attracted to them sexually. And I am sure if they did that in masses, they would find a good number of folks who are attracted. I'm African American and have had several sexual encounters with people outside of my race, and in my race.

Sounds like you have a limiting belief, stop projecting it onto others. Each human is responsible for creating a quality sex life.

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Just now, Terell Kirby said:

That's not even logical. 

This hypothetical "darker" person in your statement would need to do some serious pickup/approach to even get intel on the quantity of people that are attracted to them sexually. And I am sure if they did that in masses, they would find a good number of folks who are attracted. I'm African American and have had several sexual encounters with people outside of my race, and in my race.

Sounds like you have a limiting belief, stop projecting it onto others. Each human is responsible for creating a quality sex life.

I acknowledge that I have racist beliefs and that is skewing my perspective on this. But I don't think what i'm saying is illogical. 

I am just bringing this up because I find it interesting. If anything I benefit strongly from the current paradigm so I'm not complaining or playing victim

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You’re attracted to what you are based on what your society and culture has programmed into you since you were a child. Only once you start exploring for yourself and stop listening to others do you find what you’re actually attracted to. Notice how one of those girls says she can’t even tell you why she’s attracted to a certain guy and says that it’s just a “feeling”. It’s based on nothing but conditioning. 

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Life is deeply unfair. Often times when you bring it up to people they deny it make themselves feel better and to motivate themselves, but that doesn't mean you feel depressed either. 

It's interesting that most people would agree that systemic-racism and inequality exists on the political sub-forum, but don't believe it when you mention it in the dating sub-forum. Just an observation.

 

 

I think having preferences is fine but it shouldn't be culturally mandated. If your culture teaches you that dark skin is ugly then that's wrong but if you happen to have a preferences for some skin tone on your own then that's fine. Also, the black guy in the video was definitely not the hottest. I'm sure if they picked a more attractive black guy things would be different. 


“Many talk like philosophers yet live like fools.” — Proverb

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All is fair in love and war.

It is known that people generally prefer to their own race and ethnicity for obvious reasons for familiarity and compatibility. Not saying there aren't enough variants. But you picked Japan, come on.. This isn't coming from racism, it's culturalism. 

 

Edited by TripleFly

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It depends on how crudely someone advertises it, but I don't think having certain attraction preferences for dating and sexuality is inherently racist. We are all victims to our cultural wiring to a degree, and probably even deeper biological wiring to mate within our own race (even though we are all human).

For example for me I don't have an axe to grind with any race, I don't even think about it. Skin colour to me is like hair colour, it's simply information about appearance. Still, I have yet to personally encounter any native american women I'd consider being sexually attracted to, they just don't do it for me, while there are some women from every other race that I have been attracted to. Does this mean native american women are inherently less attractive? Of course not, maybe it just speaks to the wiring of the culture I grew up in, or maybe just random luck.

This might sound offensive, but I think you might subtly actually be creating your own racism by giving credence to what people are saying about their dating/sexual preferences for race. Even if people are vocally disruptive about their preferences and don't have the tact they should have, the responsibility for their attraction runs a little more primal and out of their control than getting out of the toxic cultural matrix they grew up in.

As Lemmy Kilmister said, "Eventually we'll all fuck each other until we're a nice coffee colour anyways. Then none of this rubbish will matter."


"Never held a high regard for Darwin, selection takes too long.
A little kick in the pool shouldn't do us wrong.
Devouring the very last invention man would ever need.
But exponential growth is a frightening thing, indeed.
"

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5 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

growing up there were also a few (white girls) who only wanted black guys

there are also many black girls who only want black guys so it goes both (all) ways

I mean, those aren't equal/interchangeable.

White women often fetishize black men and use them as a way to rebel against their parents. You also have the whole porn industry fetishizing this dynamic as well as prior history. 

A lot of black women feel that there is a sense of safety that they would get from dating a man from a similar background and on top of that, a lot of black women are shamed for interracial dating. Because once they date a man who isn't black, suddenly people in her community (usually the older people) talk shit about on how "this girl thinks she's too good for black men" etc. 

5 hours ago, Loba said:

I don't know if there is a way to combat racist dating preferences in countries where skin color is a large part of the culture, but I think the best way to combat racist dating preferences is to introduce young children to people of all sorts of races at a very young age.  I was introduced to a lot of different cultures and had many books on different peoples when I was growing up so I don't have a dating preference and have had attraction to people of every race.

I think most people who have racial preferences as adults are lost causes, with a few exceptions.

I mostly agree with this with the exception of the whole lost causes thing. I think if you examine your biases, understand how they are formed and where they historically come from, and heal from your own internalized self hatred that you should be good. 

5 hours ago, Loba said:

If only there was a way to explain to people that those of mixed race generally are genetically stronger, more aesthetically pleasant to look at, due to having a wider gene pool.  Nature wants human beings to mix, if it didn't then mixed race people would have more problems rather than less problems genetically.

I'd be careful with this since mixed people do tend to be fetishized because of how people think they are "rare", "exotic" , or "genetically superior."  This type of language also reminds me of how some people try to have mixed babies because they want pretty kids but when you ask them to explain this, they end up sounding like they are talking about their own dating preferences. It's hella weird. 

5 hours ago, Terell Kirby said:

Sounds like you have a limiting belief, stop projecting it onto others. Each human is responsible for creating a quality sex life.

You can acknowledge inequality without it turning into a limiting belief. If anything, acknowledging systemic issues can help a person from internalizing their problems which would've led to limiting beliefs. 

4 hours ago, Thought Art said:

I am actually more attracted to black women. Yet, people call me racist because of it. 

Depends on what angle you're coming from. I don't know your situation but for some people this can come from a fetishization lens. 


I'm just here man.....

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1 minute ago, soos_mite_ah said:

I mostly agree with this with the exception of the whole lost causes thing. I think if you examine your biases, understand how they are formed and where they historically come from, and heal from your own internalized self hatred that you should be good. 

I have never met someone who held such beliefs change before.  It just doesn't happen very often that people with racist opinions decide to give them up.

I'd be careful with this since mixed people do tend to be fetishized because of how people think they are "rare", "exotic" , or "genetically superior."  This type of language also reminds me of how some people try to have mixed babies because they want pretty kids but when you ask them to explain this, they end up sounding like they are talking about their own dating preferences. It's hella weird. 

Lol fetishizing.  I'm not interested in having kids so I don't have an opinion about that, but I am interested in seeing how people are going to look in the future.  I live in an area where there are a lot of mixed race people, it's pretty normal here.

 


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@Raptorsin7

Are you concerned perhaps that if you express your preferences you will be judged, un-accepted, or that you might judge yourself so to speak? Seems like you kinda of want them to feel bad for expressing their preferences. 


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I mean people that have preferences aren't consciously choosing them. 

 

They are subconscious and likely both conditioned and/or genetic.

 

Not everyone will be romantically compatible with everyone. Thats just the reality of things.

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1 hour ago, Nahm said:

@Raptorsin7

Are you concerned perhaps that if you express your preferences you will be judged, un-accepted, or that you might judge yourself so to speak? Seems like you kinda of want them to feel bad for expressing their preferences. 

Yeah, I think part of me is ashamed for having similar dating preferences, but I also feel triggered because I know if I lived in that society I would be discriminated against.

I think my go to response is to shame them into changing their opinion

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