7thLetter

I keep making stupid impulsive decisions.

12 posts in this topic

I’m quite impulsive & indecisive with my decisions in life. I don’t know if it’s linked to trauma or if it’s a personality thing but it’s affecting my life in a negative way.

Stupid decisions that lead me to losing thousands of dollars.

Such as losing thousands of dollars in the financial markets because I’m so impulsive with my trades.

Something else I’ve been dealing with for years now is being impulsive with tattoos. I’m so quick to get a new tattoo and regretting it later. I’ve had multiple tattoos done on my left arm then I end up getting it removed. These mistakes has costed me over $13000 now.

I just recently got a large tattoo on my forearm and this has lead me to write this thread. I instantly regretted it and now I feel a bit suicidal because I feel so messed up as a person to continue making these mistakes. Tattoo removal is hard to deal with because it takes years and $ to do all that.

But one reason for all these tattoo mistakes is because the artist often times doesn’t give a fuck about what you want, they just care about their portfolio for their instagram page.

Mentally I was in a pretty good place until I got this tattoo 2 days ago.


"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." - Albert Einstein

 

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@7thLetter What is the tattoo of?


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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@mandyjw I don’t see why that’s important, all I’m going to say is that it doesn’t fit my personality which is why it lead to an instant regret


"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." - Albert Einstein

 

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@7thLetter I know from experience that imagery and symbolism is very key to understanding your psyche. I was hoping I might have an insight for you. Judgement and regret will block that kind of understanding. Look at it without judgement, what is it communicating?


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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I also suffer from the same impulsiveness, that has made my future more difficult and costed me thousands of dollars as well.

Taking out the judgement for you mistakes for a moment. Have you considered that it results from a lack of vision and purpose for your future? You are given a beautiful canvas for life, but for one reason or another you haven't figured out what is worth painting yet, but subconsciously you can't stand to see it blank so you just recklessly start slashing and splashing paint or it to fill it up so you don't have to look at something empty?


"Never held a high regard for Darwin, selection takes too long.
A little kick in the pool shouldn't do us wrong.
Devouring the very last invention man would ever need.
But exponential growth is a frightening thing, indeed.
"

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@mandyjw You're right.

It's supposed to be a tattoo of a girl & dollar bills in the background. But it's unfinished.
Perhaps this tells me that I have a lot of issues with women and money, which is true. I haven't thought of it that way.
This wasn't how I originally envisioned my tattoo to be though, a lot of it was influenced by the artist. We came up with the design on the spot which is stupid, now I regret it. I already talked to him about all this and he felt bad.


"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." - Albert Einstein

 

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31 minutes ago, Roy said:

Have you considered that it results from a lack of vision and purpose for your future?

In terms of the future of my life yes I would say so. I actually don't know what to do with my life, I'm pretty much stuck hopping from job to job.
This leads me to chase money outside of a job so I can potentially have the life that I want.


"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." - Albert Einstein

 

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@7thLetter Can I see it? (Totally ok if you don't want to.) Is there another direction you can take it in since it's unfinished? Maybe turn some of the dollar bills into birds like they are flying away. Totally change the message and symbolism into something transcendent or meaningful? Can you embrace it? "Issues" with women and money is still a judgement. I'm not saying don't remove it, but if this keeps happening... this flip flopping of being very sure about something, then hating it, I think it's the regret part of the cycle that you need to question. 

Everything is alchemy, everything is transmutation. 


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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It’ll always be something else, until it’s thought attachment, meditation, and expression. 

A mind ungrounded in it’s source is an extremely rogue & defiant way to go about co-creating your life. 

Lots of things are tried in the effort to circumvent the aversion from feeling, while only feeling, only the source, only you, will do. Attached to thoughts, identified with the body, tattoos are an effort to feel better from how you look. 

If you don’t know if it’s linked to trauma, it is. Therapy, healing modalities, practices, expression journaling, etc, these do work very well. You are most definitely not alone in this, there is no such thing as a human without trauma. 

You’re experiencing 99% thoughts about yourself, and 1% your actual self, and none of the thoughts are actually true. Not a single one. The path changes all of that. Flips it entirely.

The thought activity is - in & of itself - the veiling. Very literally, you keep focusing on these thoughts, they keep arising, and it gets nowhere. A solution will never be found in thought, because there is no problem. You’re fine. Your life is fine. Your bodymind is fine. That belief that something is wrong is what can be let go. That belief is from having identified with experience (likely a trauma), and or related to sexuality. Only in letting go, in deep relaxation, in meditative practices, is there the peace of mind, clarity and creativity you’re desiring. 

There was experience in your life that was akin to eating something which did not agree with you / your stomach. The bodymind has been trying to release (barf it out) it all along. If the suffering is sexuality or gender orientation related, there might be self judgement and or worrying about being judged going on. And it might have been going on for so long you adapted to it, leaving you perplexed. But again, meditation and expression are the way. Harming yourself or anyone is not the way. 

For a megadose of alignment, grounding, and reconnection, spend ample time away from screens and the 10,000 things, in nature. If spending time in nature is or sounds foreign to you, connect the dots.


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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23 minutes ago, Nahm said:

If you don’t know if it’s linked to trauma, it is. Therapy, healing modalities, practices, expression journaling, etc, these do work very well. You are most definitely not alone in this, there is no such thing as a human without trauma. 

Yes thinking of booking a therapy session very soon with a therapist who specializes in healing trauma.

I might continue on my spiritual path as well. I've been taking a break from all the spiritual practices such as meditation or psychedelics because I often feel like it interferes with my material goals.

Thanks for your response


"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." - Albert Einstein

 

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@7thLetter

???

Awesome! Therapy’s a great idea. I’d go there and empty / express everything. Any worries, fears, weights, concerns, gripes, etc. Go there, empty it there, and leave it all there. 

HEALING OF TRAUMA IS THE PATH!  

I’d continue taking a break. But also, things are working perfectly. Meditation calms the mind, the body mind starts emptying, and meditation is often set aside for a while. If the question was why, the best answer would be to talk with a therapist. It’s all ‘working’ so to speak. I hope you can see / feel some of that. 

You’re doing great man. Keep your head up! 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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