Emotionalmosquito

Thrown out of bar for being myself, again

46 posts in this topic

8 hours ago, Thought Art said:

but also you say you were warned in the past

Where did I say that?

 

15 hours ago, something_else said:

Dude, look at how much horseshit your mind is generating to avoid accepting the fact you might have been even slightly in the wrong

 

Just because I’m coming off as defensive doesn’t mean all my replies are in vain. Everything I’m being told here I will keep in mind next time I’m on the battlefield. So for that I thank you all. I understand conceptually how I probably looked pretty alarming, but the putting myself in their shoes and feeling it part is difficult. In another day or two I should be completely recovered emotionally so hopefully that will make it easier. 

 

15 hours ago, something_else said:

You have to play by their rules

It would be nice if they had their rules written down for low EQ people like me.

 

@SgtPepper Very nice step by step advice. Thanks. Problem is I have next to nothing in common with the majority, especially in my area.

 

8 hours ago, Thought Art said:

Don't blame the people

 

Working on it

8 hours ago, Thought Art said:

Connor uses sex appeal very skillfully actually. He talks shows off his muscles, uses good pick up principles and playing into sex appeal. Not disgusting taboo sexual fluids, shit, period juice etc...

(Shit) I take it you didn’t see this video

Just watch the first part.

 

15 hours ago, mandyjw said:

You conditioned it. See the problem? It will backfire every time. You are free to express yourself, free to push the boundaries in conversation of what people are comfortable with. When you expect a certain result and are surprised for getting kicked out of a bar that shows that you were doing it for an outcome.

This is interesting because it leads me straight to another thing I wanted to say. First off I have a question about that statement. Are you saying if I would have surrendered all expectations of outcome I would have been received better? You’re correct about me not being unconditionally loving because if I were, I wouldn’t have been the least bit triggered by any of this. But you say I desired a certain outcome and that’s why I got cast out of the garden? I would say it’s more like I desired only one main outcome to NOT transpire, exactly the one that did. 

I consider myself—and about everyone I know would agree—to be extremely nonjudgmental with the exception of one thing, and that is when I am the one unfairly judged and condemned first. I have a very hard time forgiving people for this reason and my ego automatically demonizes them when it happens. I’ve seen most of Leo’s vids on things like paradigms, biases etc. and it all makes perfect sense in theory but in practice it’s nearly impossible. 

16 hours ago, mandyjw said:

Does this establishment serve food?

Nope. Only drinks.

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7 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

This is interesting because it leads me straight to another thing I wanted to say. First off I have a question about that statement. Are you saying if I would have surrendered all expectations of outcome I would have been received better? You’re correct about me not being unconditionally loving because if I were, I wouldn’t have been the least bit triggered by any of this. But you say I desired a certain outcome and that’s why I got cast out of the garden? I would say it’s more like I desired only one main outcome to NOT transpire, exactly the one that did. 

You can only express and focus on and think about what you want, not what you don't want. If you order a meal at a restaurant and say I do NOT WANT the chicken alfredo, they will not be bringing you a meal at all, or very likely they will just simply not hear you say say "do not" and will bring you the chicken alfredo. You have to first select what you DO want in order to get it and in order to do that you have to take your focus off what you don't want. 

7 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

I consider myself—and about everyone I know would agree—to be extremely nonjudgmental with the exception of one thing, and that is when I am the one unfairly judged and condemned first. I have a very hard time forgiving people for this reason and my ego automatically demonizes them when it happens. I’ve seen most of Leo’s vids on things like paradigms, biases etc. and it all makes perfect sense in theory but in practice it’s nearly impossible. 

You've got yourself stuck in ironic lose, lose situation here. You consider.... (by that you mean judge or think), yourself nonjudgmental. So of course you get mad when someone doesn't agree. If you value non judgement don't judge yourself as nonjudgmental, don't identify with that, and then you won't judge people for being NOT nonjudgmental. 

Edited by mandyjw

My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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@Emotionalmosquito Again, its about shitting the bed... but not periods, ritiuals, etc idk

You CAN talk about those things but are you doing it skillfully ahaha


 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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15 hours ago, Thought Art said:

You CAN talk about those things but are you doing it skillfully ahaha

I’m not gonna go full incel and say it’s ?  percent his looks but I mean come on

The ratio of looks vs skill is very debatable 

@Kshantivadin I’m not in any way ashamed of what I did but nor am I proud of it. I just find it thrilling to talk about weird stuff randomly and I thought the edge would rub off on them in a better way than it did. But good video and I will apply it’s lesson.

20 hours ago, mandyjw said:

You can only express and focus on and think about what you want, not what you don't want. If you order a meal at a restaurant and say I do NOT WANT the chicken alfredo, they will not be bringing you a meal at all, or very likely they will just simply not hear you say say "do not" and will bring you the chicken alfredo. You have to first select what you DO want in order to get it and in order to do that you have to take your focus off what you don't want. 

Pardon my being so dense but I’m still not clear on all this. On the first post

On 10/9/2021 at 7:04 AM, mandyjw said:

When you expect a certain result and are surprised for getting kicked out of a bar that shows that you were doing it for an outcome. The unconditional love but not caring part is not genuine if it cares about the outcome.

you said I should have released my attachment to any particular outcome. Then you say I actually SHOULD have focused on what I wanted. Sounds contradictory. What am I missing?

 

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