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omar30

Why do people treat me like shit ?

19 posts in this topic

My family members are always abusing me with shitty words and thoughts they want me to do whatever the fuck they want. 

When i start to say no , they abuse me more . I am really thinking of suicide to get out of this shit life.

When my dad died because of corona they accused me that i am the one who made him die , but not like straight forward telling me that its like they think that i have prayed for him to die so it happened or like i have some fucking magical power. They are always telling me do you to make us die do you want us to die. You will make me die. In the day my father have died they treated me like shit i really can't get this memory out of my head.

When i start to stand out for myself they always tell me that i am wrong. 

I cant afford buying a new house to get out of this shit.

note: they are not my parents. 

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I am really sad and i dont have anyone to talk to

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Learn boxing or judo or bjj.learning martial art is the only way to deal with abusive parents.of course u cannot hurt them.but they give courage to stand up for yoursel ,to set boundary etc

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sounds like you are in alot of pain, im sorry to hear that.

If you can, plan to work and develop yourself as much as you can to be able to build a better life for your self that will be completely independent of the people you are currently living with.

You can start off by forgiving them and your self as hard as that might sound to you.

You might feel as if you have been wronged by them just by reading the above sentence, notice how you feel and start to accept that.

This will be a process that will take some time & patience on your part and will not occur overnight but once you fully forgive them, I can assure you that things will start to shift in your favor once you start that process. ❤️

 

Check out Leo's video called: how to forgive anyone that hurt you on youtube if you want an in depth explanation on this

 

 

 

 

 

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@Mosess why should i forgive them they are not my parents they are just people from my parents family my parents have passed away. 

17 minutes ago, Mosess said:

sounds like you are in alot of pain, im sorry to hear that.

If you can, plan to work and develop yourself as much as you can to be able to build a better life for your self that will be completely independent of the people you are currently living with.

You can start off by forgiving them and your self as hard as that might sound to you.

You might feel as if you have been wronged by them just by reading the above sentence, notice how you feel and start to accept that.

This will be a process that will take some time & patience on your part and will not occur overnight but once you fully forgive them, I can assure you that things will start to shift in your favor once you start that process. ❤️

 

Check out Leo's video called: how to forgive anyone that hurt you on youtube if you want an in depth explanation on this

 

 

 

 

 

@Mosess

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Posted (edited)

@omar30 Good question

Let me just start this by saying that it is absolutely normal to feel resentment towards them.

 

Stop and think about this for a second. 

Omar, If you are completely honest with yourself, is the way you are reacting to their abusive behavior fixing anything for you?

It is a 2 way thing. Reacting to their abuse will increase their reacting to abusive behavior. 

However, listen closely:

Consciously responding to their reacting will slowly decrease the abusive behavior

The way to consciously respond to their abusive behavior is by first releasing your own anger.

If you do not release your resentment towards them, you will keep reacting to the anger that you have not released. 

The way to release your own anger is by forgiving them, otherwise the cycle will keep on going until someone does. 

I've been there

It will take some time for the pattern to stop, so don't expect the abusive behavior to stop instantly. 

Their unconscious reactivity towards your conscious responding will not instantly stop, so keep that in mind.

 

 

How do you consciously respond to their abusive behavior?

When they behave in an abusive way towards you, you feel anger as it arises within you. Rather than reacting to the anger and repeating the cycle over and over again, Choose not to react to it at all. That is you consciously responding to it.

As simple as that sounds, It will be hard and they will try to intimidate you into repeating the pattern. Your job is to break it, their job is to try to maintain it. (most of the time if they are unconsious)

Remember that.

 

You will become a wiser person for it, and you will become a much more happier person for doing so ?❤️

Edited by Mosess

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Are you old enough to move into a place of your own? Find a shared house with cool people?

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Posted (edited)

Can you afford to rent a room somewhere else?  Move cities?

Craigslist usually has a decent amount of places for rent (I don't know your location though).

 

Edited by Matt23

"Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down"   --   Marry Poppins

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Posted (edited)

:( sorry man. 

One thing I noticed for me is that people are very independent from you. It's very easy to get caught up in other people's behavior towards you and thinking it has something to do with you, but that's their behavior not you  

They are unfortunately not very socially conscious nor have good emotional intelligence. People have feelings and if they are being abrasive, they are really disconnected 

One thing that has helped me was realize this (and remind myself) as well as finding respectful people to be with 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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Posted (edited)

On 07/10/2021 at 0:08 PM, omar30 said:

My family members are always abusing me with shitty words and thoughts they want me to do whatever the fuck they want. 

When i start to say no , they abuse me more . I am really thinking of suicide to get out of this shit life.

When my dad died because of corona they accused me that i am the one who made him die , but not like straight forward telling me that its like they think that i have prayed for him to die so it happened or like i have some fucking magical power. They are always telling me do you to make us die do you want us to die. You will make me die. In the day my father have died they treated me like shit i really can't get this memory out of my head.

When i start to stand out for myself they always tell me that i am wrong. 

I cant afford buying a new house to get out of this shit.

note: they are not my parents. 

Assertiveness grounded in love my friend, then just lead forward with that. It's the only way you'll maintain your self respect, its the only way they'll respect you. It may break a few things, but as long as you hold firm, this is your track regardless of outcome. 

Universe like a rainbow beaming from my back all the way to its core, bring something better than worse to your face aye all the best.

giphy.gif

Edited by lxlichael

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Omar bro this is no joke what you're talking about, no offense but I guess you gain benefit from this situation somehow, whether it is that you're simply not willing to go out there by yourself, or to leave the situation is too hard for you. Because why do you stay? You obviously understand that this situation is not for you...

 

Are you older than 18? If not then you got to wait, or check if your government can help, ask for help anonymously.

First step you need an income. That's what it all comes down to in this world- MONEY- you can't slave yourself, you need something that you can do for a few years.

Can you loan money? friends, bank, you need a secure way to loan money so you can get out of your situation. 

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Leave as soon as you can, but before you leave:

- Do your own thing and stay in rooms away from them and work on/watch/listen to productive and positive things.

- When they do confront you, stand up for yourself.

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@Mosess Advice about forgiving abusers is a common misuse of spirituality that is actually abusive. It's also resistant.

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Posted (edited)

@cypresThere is definitely this commonly held spiritual belief that a spiritual person should be above reacting to anything. It is mainly just an excuse for people to repress their responses to what is bothering them (I used to use it). Repression will sneakily cause mental illness.

Edited by LloydRidges

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11 hours ago, cypres said:

@Mosess Advice about forgiving abusers is a common misuse of spirituality that is actually abusive. It's also resistant.

Forgiving is a good step towards letting go. Letting go is what will end the circle and ultimately leads towards Love. As long as you hold onto an abuser they are not going anywhere.

 

@omar30

How old are you?

Do you love your family?

How much do you want your family to live a happy and healthy life?

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2 minutes ago, universe said:

Forgiving is a good step towards letting go. Letting go is what will end the circle and ultimately leads towards Love. As long as you hold onto an abuser they are not going anywhere.

 

@omar30

How old are you?

Do you love your family?

How much do you want your family to live a happy and healthy life?

You need to see how harmful this is. People probably talked this way to you too, so you don't notice it.

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