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Raptorsin7

What Do You Look For In Woman

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Hey, what do you guys look for in a woman if you want a long term relationship? Also, do most of you guys date with the intent to hopefully get married to the person, or do you not think about marriage until later into the relationship?

What qualities, values, etc do you look for when choosing a woman? 

I'm also curious to hear how much the men here value physical attractiveness? I can't see myself being interested in someone unless I found them beautiful, but I also don't find a lot of woman beautiful so my preference feels kind of limiting. I was thinking it would be interesting if I found everyone beautiful, but then at the same time how would I make a choice for a partner without some strict preference.

Any other thoughts or related insights are appreciated 

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I like a woman who knows herself, who is adventurous, who likes to explore and experiment with life. Someone who likes to travel and get out there. Someone who has a spiritual side as well, who is open to meditation and exploring consciousness. Someone who I sporadically can smoke weed with or have a drink. Someone who doesn't take things too serious. Light hearted and knows how to have fun. Great sense of humor and empathy. Someone who is social and can easily connect with people. I like a woman who is confident. Have to be independant and have their own life. So no clingy behavior. 

I value physical beauty highly and can not get attracted if I don't find them physically attractive. I mostly like eastern european women and have almost exclusively been in relationships with women from that part of the world. 

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@JonasVE12 Can you intrusively tell if a woman will possess those qualities pretty quickly after meeting her or observing her? How long does it take you to talk to someone before you know they are what you're looking for?

I value physical beauty highly too, my assumption is that most men do, but not sure.

How difficult do you think it will be to find someone you think you could be happy with in a LTR monogamous relationship?

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Posted (edited)

2 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I was thinking it would be interesting if I found everyone beautiful, but then at the same time how would I make a choice for a partner without some strict preference.

I think you can see the beauty in everyone while simultaneously having needs/desires 

 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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Physical attributes: Figure, face, dressing and all that jazz.

After that: persona, cuteness, care, love, etc. 

This is how most men view girls. Cold and bitter, but true.

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Affinity.

Things like appearance is not something to look for, you can tell whether you're attracted or not in an instant.

When you approach/interact, the thing to look for and build is affinity. Sometimes it takes a little digging. 

Dating is a way of building affinity. Sex is a way of building affinity. Getting married and having children is a way of building affinity. 

The above ways is how I would build affinity with a woman I'm sexually attracted to. 

But affinity itself, I try to look for/build in everything/everyone. 

Sometimes there's no affinity to be found and therefore nothing to build off of, so such things/people, I don't bother with. 

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her face normal or above than normal.

the most important thing: she makes the great effort to keep me even If I make mistakes here and there.

 

 


"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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@Raptorsin7 my shortlist:

  • Intelligence - must be able to communicate well and think for herself
  • Self sufficiency - must be able to operate without me
  • Complementarity - strong in areas I'm weak in and vice versa (e.g. I'm hopeless at keeping contact, lacklustre at organising)
  • Agreeable and level headed - not too based in emotional thinking to the exclusion of analytical thought (balanced), doesn't overreact or get easily overwhelmed, isn't moody or erratic.
  • Spontaneous/adventurous - able to do things without having to plan weeks in advance, can leave home without make up, is comfortable with dressing up and dressing down, happy to try new experiences.
  • Financially stable - is able to go to a restaurant or book a hotel without breaking into a sweat about cost.
  • I'm going to have to look at her a lot, so ongoing attraction and to have that reciprocated. 

Not much really...xD


Consiousness is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is.

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Being very open minded encompasses most of the other qualities I like in a girl (or person at all). If the person isn’t open minded there’s a a whole host of issues that will rear their head eventually. But someone who isn’t quick to judgment and is open minded is so much easier to work with and fix whatever issues that come up.  

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big breasts

 

 

just kidding.

for a long term relationship, somebody who i find attractive, a friend and ally, who's honest and not too crazy (although everybody's crazy)

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Posted (edited)

Physical attractiveness is #1 - sounds shallow, but it's important to men.

With that being said, attractiveness means nothing for a long-term relationship if she isn't loyal, or a good communicator.

Edited by Terell Kirby

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Posted (edited)

9 hours ago, lxlichael said:

Depth. 

Only someone with truly this characteristic will see that its the only characteristic (as many things are already simultaneously catered for when you review my answer carefully).

 

8 hours ago, Jacob Morres said:

@lxlichael define? 

Depth Is my #1 as well. Creating depth requires some criteria I think though 

I may be entirely off base here, and even projecting my past self slightly, but in my personal experience the guys who say shit like this are usually not successful with women they're attracted to so they take this position to protect their ego

Not saying that's what you're doing, just that I've noticed that pattern in other guys and used to do the same thing when I was younger

Edited by something_else

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8 hours ago, Jacob Morres said:

@lxlichael define? 

Depth Is my #1 as well. Creating depth requires some criteria I think though 

H x W x D. 

Math has already figured that out for us luckily, now all we have to do is apply depth, or in this case, volume analogously. 

In the case of the sentient aspects of planet Earth, H and W are already catered for in the context of the astuteness of depth, the worse your comparable ratio here between these is the... volume of your problem.

What you're probably really asking is what are the most important metrics, well obviously the most important is actually emotional because then you can measure everything else thereon out extremely easily. Because you can have someone of great intellectual depth who lacks in emotional depth and therefore relationship depth, however you cannot have someone with great emotional depth who lacks in intellectual depth or relationship depth. Someone may be emotionally intelligent in some ways and then in other ways be completely terrible, aka lacking important aspects on relationship depth.

It's really ahh...  a basic geometrical problem. 

But most people are pretty basic, as an objective statement not a (prejudiced) judgemental one. OP should work on his relationship depth.

 

1 minute ago, something_else said:

 

I may be entirely off base here, and even projecting my past self slightly, but in my personal experience the guys who say shit like this are usually not successful with women they're attracted so they take this position to protect their ego

 

See if you were a woman that's where I'd politely screen you out. Thanks but I don't need your 22 years of Gandalf the White here (something_else), no age prejudice as your answer is just... reflecting lower than your actual age. I remember conversations I used to have with my best friend at age 15-16 on this stuff and we'd reach similar conclusions, my first serious girlfriend at age 18. Sincerely, if you truly want a healthy longer term relationship now or in the future you should listen to my advice. The OP wasn't talking about the pickup culture your brain has been infected by where you learn to become a social media narcissist (consumer/creator) without any clue of the kind of shallow despot slave you've become to mainstream societies views. You should be focusing on your introspection at this time of your life, think of how much it will pay off for you by the time you're much older.

And yes, when dating a woman it's primarily about a longer term commitment, why on earth any self respecting guy would waste their time dating a woman for any other reason is beyond me.

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Posted (edited)

36 minutes ago, lxlichael said:

See if you were a woman that's where I'd politely screen you out. Thanks but I don't need your 22 years of Gandalf the White here (something_else), no age prejudice as your answer is just... reflecting lower than your actual age. I remember conversations I used to have with my best friend at age 15-16 on this stuff and we'd reach similar conclusions, my first serious girlfriend at age 18. Sincerely, if you truly want a healthy longer term relationship now or in the future you should listen to my advice. The OP wasn't talking about the pickup culture your brain has been infected by where you learn to become a social media narcissist (consumer/creator) without any clue of the kind of shallow despot slave you've become to mainstream societies views. You should be focusing on your introspection at this time of your life, think of how much it will pay off for you by the time you're much older.

And yes, when dating a woman it's primarily about a longer term commitment, why on earth any self respecting guy would waste their time dating a woman for any other reason is beyond me.

That's... an aggressive response. I know I'm no old wise genius, but I was heavy into the "oh I'm not superficial, I'm above all that" mindset when I was a nerdy awkward kid in school and now I know that was to protect my ego

And I've known a few others who have done the same, and seen plenty online too

There's a pattern, it's a very common thing for socially awkward, introverted but intelligent guys to do, so I figured it was worth mentioning

I was quite aggressive though, definitely shouldn't have made such assumptions and been a little less on the nose, so sorry about that

And I do agree it's definitely possible to be mainly focused on deep traits, but for many guys that requires deeply satisfying the superficial desires first. Which I guess you've done, but many haven't and use the depth thing as a protection

I also agree with you entirely that viewing things through the lense of pickup isn't always healthy. But the pickup style of intense, frequent socialising is an extremely valuable stage of development for many awkward guys who aren't as developed as you so don't discount it entirely. My main goal is just to be better at all round socialising

Edited by something_else

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Posted (edited)

22 minutes ago, something_else said:

That's... an aggressive response. I know I'm no old wise genius, but I was heavy into the "oh I'm not superficial, I'm above all that" mindset when I was a nerdy awkward kid in school and now I know that was to protect my ego

And I've known a few others who have done the same, and seen plenty online too

There's a pattern, it's a very common thing for socially awkward, introverted but intelligent guys to do, so I figured it was worth mentioning

I was quite aggressive though, definitely shouldn't have made such assumptions and been a little less on the nose, so sorry about that

And I do agree it's definitely possible to be mainly focused on deep traits, but for many guys that requires deeply satisfying the superficial desires first. Which I guess you've done, but many haven't and use the depth thing as a protection

I also agree with you entirely that viewing things through the lense of pickup isn't always healthy. But the pickup style of intense, frequent socialising is an extremely valuable stage of development for many awkward guys who aren't as developed as you so don't discount it entirely. My main goal is just to be better at all round socialising

 

You're confusing aggression for assertiveness. And this is very much... Game theoretical; tit-for-tat, greedy algorithms, etc.

In future just tame your response and remember who you could be talking to, by executing that kind of empathy you'll grow your wisdom more overtime.

I explicitly stated that if you carefully thought about my response then you would know that many other thing are simultaneously catered for, which not only includes attractiveness but someone that is actually of your personal calibre rather than someone too low or high, in the general sense of things.

I don't discount socialising at all, I discount the macroscopic effect "pickup culture" has on the development of culture. In light of much of the analogous dark web stuff here it adds to a narcissistic pandemic encircled by shallow clickbait social media that creates higher incentives for pickup culture because as the people become shallower attentionally, they also do so sexually, so its a negative feedback loop on our progression as a super consciousness (aka more narcissistic, psychopathic, selfish, etc). By no means then given I am cognizant of the breadth of our psycho-cultural landscape across our myridic planet am I going to endorse anyone on this forum that I see showing a lot of red flags here.

We're destroying our planet from our psychology outwards, so we have to ask ourselves what side are we individually on?  

Socialise, socialise, socialise, sure to all your hearts content. There's just no reason to teach guys to develop personas that aren't truly them simply because so called teachers haven't devoted enough time and attention on their own latent authenticity because they were too busy seeking validation from the pussy factory from women who fucking spend their whole day making tik tok video's for christs sakes, most of these men have no real spine underneath, soft as fucking butter.

Edited by lxlichael

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Posted (edited)

  • Open mindedness
  • Appreciates dark humor 
  • Takes her health seriously 
  • Doesn’t mind going a few days without showering. Even in the summer 
  • Into cold exposure 
  • Strong pineal gland
  • Likes playing in the rain and getting dirty 
  • Ginger/Blonde hybrid 
  • Long thick hair 
  • Light dusting of freckles on cheeks and shoulders 
  • Heterochromia (one grey one light blue eye)
  • 5’9” 145 lbs
  • Doesn’t do those long acrylic finger nails but polish is fine
  • High arch and long toes/fingers
  • Won’ cuck me 

Or if that’s unobtainable a dryad would suffice.

Edited by Emotionalmosquito

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Posted (edited)

22 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@JonasVE12 Can you intrusively tell if a woman will possess those qualities pretty quickly after meeting her or observing her? How long does it take you to talk to someone before you know they are what you're looking for?

I value physical beauty highly too, my assumption is that most men do, but not sure.

It doesn't take that long for me to have a good intuition about whether or not she possesses those qualities. I get that feeling of connection almost instantly or not at all. It's not that I'm logically asking questions and going down my list. Rather I feel her emotions when we talk about subjects relevant to the values I'm subconsciously screening for. For example I'll tell stories and see how she reacts and from her response I can tell if she is into the subject or not and then I'll ask relevant questions and hear what she thinks etc. Pretty quickly you'll start to form a hollistic view of who she is and if you like that view, then good, we can explore each other more. 

Quote

How difficult do you think it will be to find someone you think you could be happy with in a LTR monogamous relationship?

Not that difficult when you are good at meeting women. You have to get good at approaching so you'll meet lots of women. If you only meet women through social circle or opportunities that passively came to you, then the probability is a lot lower than when you actively try to meet women.

Edited by JonasVE12

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