Strategies getting emotional assistance after a rough pick up in daygame?

[charlie cho]

☆i dont mean to blurt out my emotions over you. I just want to state a fact about my emotions. i do need assistance in this matter☆

After a rough day out approaching women, I need an emotional tampon. After night game, i set to get my day game in order. I got an accountability buddy to help me do 3 approaches a day on women on the street and cafes in the day (Say what you will guys, but 3 approaches in corona in this country aint easy for me) so doubly thanks to him. But I dont want to blurt out my emotions on him. Him being an accountability buddy is enough.

I remember when OSHO talked about his journey to enlightenment. He said he never had a master. OSHOs disciple told him in a seminar that she wants to be enlightened without a master like OSHO. Then he told her how lonely he was that he never had a master to hold his hand by his side to say, "its all going to be okay," during his journey to meditation. OSHO said he wanted to give up everyday, and cried and felt so lonely during the journey. He even went far as to say because his family thought he went crazy, so he himself was afraid he became crazy. 

This is how i feel, without a mentor or a brother to stand by my side in difficulties mastering any subject of interest. 

I feel like this right now. Actually i feel like this with my life purpose and career, too....

I used to have a big brother who would be with me always, but we became distant. Whenever i struggled with anything, studying, friendship, family, my brother would be with me, but now i dont....

I sound pathetic, but its my reality. Im emotionally depleted and i need a strategy from anyone who knows what to do with such difficulties

By the way, Im also having insecurities about how my energy is, and also how i project it. We all have a blockage of energy in us, ... lm just more pathetically aware of its patheticness thats all

Edited September 30, 2021 by charlie cho

[flowboy]

I've read your description of what you need, and I would recommend separating it out into:

• Person to tell your troubles to and recharge your emotional batteries: any good friend can be this for you
• Person who knows about pickup and can recommend solutions: any coach or even book or internet resource can be this

When you complain about something not going well, people usually offer unsollicited advice. This is not always helpful. A good friend can be asked to not do that, and just listen, express empathy, and provide diversion. So that it doesn't matter if they are not an expert in what you are trying to do. You can get the solutions elsewhere.

Edited September 30, 2021 by flowboy

[charlie cho]

@flowboy I see. That's true. Currently, me and many of my friends separated. Such is life. I guess the next set of friends will be coming soon, since it's been a while I've been engaged with anything friendly. 

Edited September 30, 2021 by charlie cho

[flowboy]

@charlie cho  Sign up for something new, and you might make a new one!

[charlie cho]

@flowboy  

But to be true, I'm truly ... very much.... emotionally depleted right now

Edited September 30, 2021 by charlie cho

[flowboy]

@charlie cho  It's not pathetic to be in-between friends. It just means you're changing.

Although when I was without friends, I definitely thought I was pathetic.

A couple years later I almost have too many of them.

Did it make sense to classify myself as pathetic in the mean time?

[flowboy]

5 minutes ago, charlie cho said:

@flowboy  

But to be true, I'm truly ... very much.... emotionally depleted right now

What activity used to recharge your emotional batteries, but you gave up on?

 

What activity have you always been interested in, but not ready to try in your current version of yourself?

 

What have you been denying yourself?

[charlie cho]

@flowboy no. I am currently doing what i love. But im still emotionally depleted

[aurum]

@charlie cho

These kind of nights are common for new guys learning pickup. You’re going to feel like you’ve been by a truck. They do get less frequent, but I’m not sure they ever go away. Usually in a day or two you’ll feel fine.

One of the things I used to do when I felt like that was watch RSD videos. Not even to really learn anything, just for the encouragement. 

If you live in a major city, I’d consider either joining or starting a group of guys who are into learning pickup. Online forums are where it’s at for this kind of thing.

[JonasVE12]

Find a good wingman online and meet up in person with him to go approach women and build a friendship out of that. You can build great friendships with those guys because right from the start you have some common values. When I started approaching women, I hired a coach to go on a trip with me for a month and paid him money.  We became good friends on the trip. We're soon going to do a 6 month trip to different countries to explore life purpose, seduction and spirituality more. 

It's important when it comes to becoming succesful in a given area that you surround yourself with people who are already some steps further than you on the path you're trying to walk. Especially if you have a lot of heavy feelings that currently push the thing away that you are trying to work towards.

Working with another person who is already succesful offers a container that makes it a lot easier. The only thing you have to do is to show up. I would have  never taken the steps neccessary if I didn't hire my friend for that period. I have done stuff on that first trip that I would have never done before. All because I let myself be guided by him and that way got put in situations that gave me the opportunity that I needed. Then you start to build momentum and things start to shift quickly in your emotional state. You start to manifest a lot of crazy things at a very fast speed. 

The trap is to not become dependant on your accountability partner or coach. You have to become self reliant in the end. For me that was a huge trap because only could I take action when my coach was around. It took effort to break way from that but thanks to the momentum, it was possible.

So I suggest you try to meet up with like minded people and see if it's possible to build something long term. Don't force it. You have to offer value in some way or the other. The only reason my friend and I went on that initial trip is because I paid him money. That's value. That gave him a reason to spend time with me and be my container. Then the value dynamic changed from economical to just a genuine connection. You can try paying a coach money and going on a trip and then that's a stable base for something to grow out of that. Just remind that no one is going to want to be in such a relationship with you if the only thing you offer is needing and getting value and not offering it. Especially if you're lower on the emotional scale than that other person, it becomes more difficult to offer value by just being yourself as by the natural law of attraction between people.

 

 

 

 

[charlie cho]

@aurum thats cool. Ive done that too. maybe i can do that a little more since its not just me but also you whove felt emotional support with it. Owen cook is motivational AF 

You are right. I did not join any forums in this city. Dumb me ?

Edited September 30, 2021 by charlie cho

[charlie cho]

@JonasVE12 thank you for such kind words. Value giving. Whatever it is, as you say, I will focus on that much more. Whether it is money, status, emotional support, love, I will give more value to people. Maybe, I've been weak in that department, so I find myself lacking here. 

I'm currently working on the whole idea of giving value. Thanks 

Edited September 30, 2021 by charlie cho