Just a straight question

[Preety_India]

@something_else I wasn't talking about committment. I was talking about emotional connection. 

[something_else]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

@something_else I wasn't talking about committment. I was talking about emotional connection. 

Yes, I thought so, was just confirming

[Jacob Morres]

nothing wrong it of course. some men will not be okay with it but many will be. we all have diff needs i guess 

[Gianna]

awe preety  never let anyone make you feel wrong or bad. your needs are your needs. wanting an emotional connection before sex does not make you stingy, clingy, or needy– it makes you AUTHENTIC. deep. real. 

11 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Why should I do something that doesn't make me feel right/good just because Men/Society wants me to? 

 

you should NEVER do anything that doesn't make you feel good. ever. I think the guys on here that don't like the idea of fulfilling emotional needs before sex just don't want to feel committed and responsible for it. maybe because they just want sex. idk. But sex is 10x better with an emotional connection anyway so don't settle for anything less. Your needs are perfect  you are perfect. 

[Preety_India]

@Leo Gura so you don't want to answer questions?

Are you trying to escape. 

[Raphael]

23 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Does this make me a bad person or stingy or a closed minded person?

No.

[Nahm]

@Preety_India

It’s a stages thing. You’re growing out of the objectifying stage. Or already beyond it really, but sort of looking back at it, trying to make sense of it. Imo it won’t & can not make sense unless you’re in it (the stage, whatever stage that might be). Like authority for example. You’re still in that stage, so it seems to make sense. 

[The0Self]

On 9/26/2021 at 11:08 AM, Preety_India said:

I will never be comfortable having sex without getting to know the person on a deeper level (emotionally) at first.

Nor is basically anyone. Emotions are what drive sex anyway.

[zazen]

On 9/26/2021 at 4:08 PM, Preety_India said:

Just a straight question

I will never be comfortable having sex without getting to know the person on a deeper level (emotionally) at first. 

Does this make me a bad person or stingy or a closed minded person? 

Are my emotional needs as a woman a blockage to society or to men? 

I'm not demonizing someone's sexual needs or the ways they go about fulfilling it as long as it is honest and ethical? 

Then why are my needs as a woman judged or looked down on? 

Then Why am I wrong in honestly expressing and stating my needs? 

Why should I do something that doesn't make me feel right/good just because Men/Society wants me to? 

If you're gonna shame me, then remember I'll ask moderators to lock this thread.

 

There are reasons why women are naturally protective of who they have sex with.  Men can separate sex from emotions and do it just as a physical act. From a biological view women are more protective sexually as in the past having a child requires protection and provisioning so they naturally seek security of the man to stick around after sex, this is hardwired into women. Today in the modern environment and with technological advancement (birth control, protection etc) to have sex freely isn't a disaster in that way, however our biology is still primal and so reacts in its way to be wary of free sexuality. So its nothing to be ashamed of that you need to have a emotional connection before sex, because you need to feel secure first with the man, to then relax, to then build a connection that leads to you being able to have sex on the basis of trust. 

 

Men saying women should freely have sex and that its okay are either projecting from a male point of view how their minds/body works or are coming at it from a more evolved stage where women are able to detach themselves from their biology and so act in ways that maybe aren't as natural to it, but that we ourselves nurture / societally programme ourselves into.

 

Shame comes from the outside, guilt from the inside. Shame is when society tells you how you should be and when you go against it your esteem is attacked. Guilt is when you do something, and internally it doesn't feel right to you, either because it may go against your biology or internal moral compass (which can be subjective).