Applying Theory To Everyday Life: A Musician's Perspective

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 233 | The Best Investments You Can Make

Theory: Stop spending money on things that are going to make you happy both in the short-term and the long-term. Start spending money on things that are going to expand on your skills, knowledge and awareness.

Applying it: For every single purchase that you make, you need to recognise what it is you think that purchase will provide you with. If your motive contains the reason "to make me happy," abandon it immediately. If you think it will help you to improve your skills, expand on your knowledge, or increase your awareness in any way, then by all means invest.

 

Don't buy things that make me happy? What is this nonsense Liam? What's wrong with that? Well in fact, there's a massive error with that reasoning. And anyone whose studied emotional mastery before should be able to spot it. The truth is this: things can never make you happy. No matter what the thing may be. Even if it's a wedding ring, a cookery book, a life-purpose course, a new home, or a pet. These things don't generate the feeling of happiness. Happiness is generated from within. It's cultivated by your positive perspective of the world. No single thing has the ability to provide it for you.

So what's the alternative? Well it's described above. Spend your money in a way that contributes to your own growth through means of improving skill, expanding knowledge or increasing awareness (and words to that effect). See what's also true is that none of those things (wedding ring, cookery book, etc.) are only a waste of money when they are purchased with the intent of feeling happy afterwards. From a different perspective, they can be incredibly important investments to make if your sole purpose is to grow in success, love and abundance.

Speaking personally for a moment, I've made some incredibly worthwhile investments over the last year alone. But these investments might sound a little different than the usual kind. They include the following: learning how to cook tasty and healthy meals from scratch, learning how to deepen my appreciation for life, learning about the success principles, learning about business and marketing, learning how to write an effective journal, learning how to make music with Wii controllers, learning how to meditate, learning about how to improve as a musician...

The list goes on and on. And the best part is that not a thing is mentioned. These are not investments in things. They're investments in time. And what's more, they are life-long investments that can be made every single day. Sure it meant that I had to purchase a few things but I was never focused on the things themselves. It was the goal, the forward trajectory that I invested my heart and soul into. And quite honestly, this last year has been one of the biggest periods of growth in my life so far.

Even more fundamental than investments in time, they are investments in yourself.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 234 | Fear Of Achievement

Theory: Even though success is a wonderful thing to behold, sometimes you can fear it for no good reason.

Applying it: Be mindful of all the ways in which you distract yourself from knuckling down and doing your work. Be compassionate but also see that these behaviours cannot serve you or your highest values.

 

Today ended up being a productive day. If only it were all that way. For a good few hours I wasted a lot of time watching YouTube videos and eating nut and protein bars. It was all a distraction from the fact that I was actually kinda scared to do the work. This seems really odd and new to me. For most of my life, I've been scared of failure and rejection. Now that I've studied success and personal development a lot, those things no longer provide me with fear. Instead, it's like I've become scared of success. Scared of achievement.

It's bizarre but I know what the root cause of it is. Essentially, all that has to happen now is for the old 'me' to die so that the new successful 'me' can take it's place. The old me loves watching YouTube videos, snacking on food unnecessarily, procrastinating, living in a bubble. And now I must reconcile the fact that this version of myself needs to be shed away. It feels empowering to have the knowledge and the awareness to recognise this necessary action, but it's not bliss as ignorance would have it.

The old 'me' wants to argue that if it dies, then things will be so much worse off. Sure they'll be far less comfortable in the short-term but once I reach the point where I've fully embraced the new person I want to become, I will never look back and wish for the simpler life. It feels sad that the old 'me' will have to die. But so long as I keep focussing on cultivating the new 'me,' so long as I look positively towards the future, so long as I can use my mind's eye to visualise the life that I desire, then it will seem a lot more like a rebirth than a death.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 235 | Leap Of Faith

Theory: The only certain way to overcome the fears you have of moving toward your full potential is to envision the person you want to become, feel the successful emotions now, and just do it.

Applying it: Every time you feel overly protective of the old 'me,' step back and envision the new 'me' that you are going to become. Bring that feeling to the present moment and let it fuel your actions.

 

Had an important dream last night. It related so well with the introspection I did in last night's journal entry. I was in a helicopter or aeroplane with my mum and a few others waiting to do a parachute jump. The instructor indicated that it was my turn to make the jump but I was too scared to do it. She then made the jump herself as she left me behind. I didn't appreciate being left behind nor the fact that I was acting from a place of leadership.

A second aeroplane/helicopter flew next to ours with her inside allowing her to transfer back to our plane. It was at this point that I used the technique above. Instead of coming from a place of protection for who I was, I envisioned how great it would feel to complete the jump after the initial discomfort. The feeling resonated with me and gave me the strength and courage to face my fears and make the jump, At which point, I woke up.

It didn't take long for me to realise what this dream was about. I've made some ambitious goals for myself and burned my bridges. But it still terrifies me in one way or another about what will happen. Or rather, it terrifies the old 'me' (which is me right now). There's so much uncertainty as to whether people will like what I do, whether they don't, whether I'll run out of money, whether I'll make profit at all, whether the work that I do will help in any way.

But the ultimate thing to keep in mind is to keep visualising the new 'me.' A few weeks ago, I thought visualisation was just a fancy technique to use in order to be successful. Oh no. It's a lifeline. It's a necessity. In order to face my fears, step up and become the person I want to become, visualisation is going to be my all-time saving grace. Without it, the process will equate to death.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 236 | Being Remarkable

Theory: It isn't enough to just produce a great product nowadays. It has to be remarkable.

Applying it: Contemplate how you can create or deliver a product/service in a unique and authentic way.

 

 The next book I'm reading at the moment is Purple Cow, which seems to go hand in hand with The Dip. Every page of the book so far has drilled home the fact that the old ways of marketing are outdated and obsolete. The best thing to aim for is to make a remarkable product or service. Not a good, very good or even great one. A remarkable one. And it goes into depth about how these remarkable products suddenly become spread around through word-of-mouth until they become a success.

I'm glad that I've managed to read this book and seek out this piece of wisdom at this point in my life where I'm slowly piecing projects together of my own. Before reading this book, I was perfectly content to just create an album of my music, release it in the standard way and just hope that it would sell. Same way of thinking for a YouTube channel. However, I'm making a conscious effort to explore the ways I can make these projects remarkable and it's putting new ideas into my head that otherwise wouldn't have been uncovered.

I realised that no matter how much the people around me seemed to enjoy my music, the rest of the world would probably perceive it as just another acoustic guitar album. So I stopped to contemplate the question "how can I make my album a Purple Cow?" (Godin uses the term purple cow to refer to a product/service that is remarkable) and eventually came up with an answer. Instead of worrying about whether or not the music was remarkable, I could perhaps make the packaging and distribution process remarkable by offering something more special than just another album case, like a goodie box for instance.

Studying marketing in this sense is actually really interesting and insightful as a musician. Because essentially it's not just about marketing a product that I make. It's about marketing myself. I am the product. And in order to turn myself into a Purple Cow, I need to think like one and also embrace my authentic self completely.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 237 | Being A Remarkable Musician

Theory: Where a business person makes products and services, the musician makes songs, pieces, concerts, albums, lessons, and all sorts. Each of which should be remarkable.

Applying it: Treat every individual piece of artwork as it's individual product and ask yourself "what makes this piece unique and authentic to the world?"

 

So reading all these books on how to market a business often feels like I'm becoming geared up to start a business. But being a musician is kinda weird because I am the business. The pieces of music are the products and performances are the services. It's surprisingly hard to keep this in mind whilst reading through these books. But it's essential to transfer the core teachings of business to my activities as an artist.

That's been the ongoing quality I've seen in many great musicians that I've talked face-to-face with. The majority of them are expert musicians and can blast out pieces like pros. But when it comes to knowing their business and marketing, I can't think of all to many of them who have the know-how. It was also my lack of know-how that made me finally take learning into my own hands in regards to business and marketing. Sure I could've done what most artists do by hiring a band manager. But I enjoy figuring things out myself, albeit the harder option to take.

As I start piecing together compositions for my album and coming up with ideas for my YouTube channel, I've been asking myself "how can I make this remarkable?" a lot more often than I used to. It's almost as if it feels more of a conscious process. Slowly I'm starting to figure out that not only should the delivery of my content be remarkable, but more importantly I need to make myself remarkable. And that's something that I'll be a very bad judge of.

But I still try and compose remarkable pieces just as I've always done. Each one with something special and different about them. Whether it be a mathematically-themed guitar tune or a soulful and heartfelt song with lyrics, each one feels unique to me and each one came from an authentic place. But the unfortunate thing is that a lot of hard work needs to be done to get these pieces up to scratch, recorded and ready to release to the public. A lot of hard work.

Yay  

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 238 | Being A Remarkable Musician (Continued)

Finished reading Purple Cow today. I'm not going to give my full opinion of the book here. That will come either tomorrow or the next day. But I was happy to find that my prayers from yesterday were answered within the final pages of the books. He dedicated a small portion of the book to describe what it takes to be a remarkable person and what characteristics and abilities they possess.

First of all, he dismisses the common idea of sharing your CVs (or resumes) with as many companies and agencies as possible. He sums it up by saying that "all of this effort is really nothing but advertising." And given that the majority of the book before this statement has argued against the ineffectiveness of advertising, that is saying something. He highlights the alternate path to take and that is to be exceptional and remarkable:

Quote

Remarkable people with remarkable careers seem to switch jobs with far less effort. Remarkable people often don't even have a resume. Instead, they rely on sneezers [people who spread the word] who are quick to recommend them when openings come up. Remarkable people are often recruited from jobs they love to jobs they love even more.

The secret doesn't lie in the job-seeing technique. It has to do with what these people do when they're not looking for a job. These Purple Cows do an outrageous job. They work on high-profile projects. These people take risks, often resulting in big failures. These failures rarely lead to a dead end, though. They're not really risks, after all. Instead, they just increase the chances that these people will get an even better project next time.

This has literally described my life for the last 2-3 years. And also my willingness to go all in on an ambitious project that might never even work. And also the performing jobs that I've managed to secure have come about from word of mouth. Through no effort of my own, word got out among students at university that I was a great guitar player. It's the only way my local reputation was created because it's certainly not in my nature to shout about what an awesome player I am. And with that, I should make it clear that this is not supposed to be an ego trip.

What's more, I can't stop people around me believing that I'm a great player. That's for them to decide. And some of them probably think that I'm an overrated player, or just flat-out shit. That's all for them to decide. But I don't give a shit for all of that. The whole process of taking risks and seeing if they pay off is a challenge that I embrace. It's definitely one of the strongest characteristics of my psyche and it's something I should embrace more often.

But that quote from Purple Cow really neatly describes what it's like to be a remarkable person. As much as social conditioning would have me say that I'm in fact not a remarkable person, to hell with it. What if I am remarkable? What if you are too? What if we just hadn't realised it yet? One of the biggest motivators during my teenage years was this genuine belief that I was special, that I was something remarkable. Or at the least, I had that potential. And so maybe that potential never died. Maybe that potential lies within all of us.

 

Pick of the day:

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 239 | Purple Cow

Written by Seth Godin.

The Dip seems to go hand-in-hand with this slightly older book. It's not much bigger by comparison (around 130 pages) but it felt a lot more thorough and satisfying to read. The main message of the book is "out with the old and in with the new" when it comes to how to approach marketing. Bearing in mind this book was written in 2003, it's easy to look at the successful businesses and entrepreneurs of today and see they've embraced the principles taught in this book.

With numerous case studies and examples, Godin highlights the importance of making a remarkable product over an expensive advertising campaign. If it's truly remarkable, the word will spread and the product will be able to grow and flourish without paying for a single advertisement. Admittedly, the case studies seem outdated in places given that this was written before the age of the iPhone. But it doesn't detract from the key lessons that they exemplify.

It's perhaps my favourite of the two books as it's left the biggest impact on me as a musician. The part about becoming remarkable resonated with me on a deep level (see previous journal entry). The book has also set the record straight about what priorities I need to be focussing on as I create my projects. Instead of opting for the safer options, I need to make every project a Purple Cow (his term for something remarkable) if any kind of success is to be possible.

Maybe The Dip didn't resonate with me because I was already familiar with the concepts in that book. The last 10 years of learning to be the best guitar player in the world (an impossible task) are evidence for that. But Purple Cow was the more insightful read for me. If this book were the cake, The Dip would be the icing and cherry on the top. Definitely worth a read.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 240 | Reflection

Today hasn't been the best reflection of my progress so far. My niece came for a sleepover this weekend which meant that most of my free time was spent being with her. But in terms of weekly progress, things seem to be really good. And I'm rather glad I have these reflection posts now and again to take a step back and admire the growth that has happened.

The thing that I'm most happy about is the amount of composing of new tunes that has happened. The number of compositions being made whilst I was at university must have been around 5 compositions per year. Now that I've started focussing on making an album and YouTube channel, that amount has exceeded itself in the last month alone. It feels so joyful to hear new music and put in the hard work to make it real. Life purpose is definitely strong and if a day goes by where I've not touched upon it, the lack of fulfilment is heavy.

After several months of preparation, I finally might be able to record a Wiimote performance. It's taken such a long time to arrange the music, even longer to program my Mac to make the notes from the Wiimotes, and longer still to practice all 5 parts. As much of a drag as it has been to make this happen, I'm becoming even more excited to unleash this monstrosity once and for all!

All other aspects of my life are starting to show signs of growth. I'm becoming more able to lift heavier weights at the gym, 3 books have been finished this last month, my guitar teaching is starting to show results with pupils, friendships are converting from many and shallow to few and deep, overall knowledge is expanding... So much great stuff. Above all (with the exception of today), my drive has been getting stronger.

There are, however, things to improve on. I've been snacking an awful lot more since hitting the gym (on good stuff, but perhaps too much), a bit of binge-watching videos, and I've not exactly been out much. More importantly, I've not put any of my creations in the public eye yet which really MUST be the focus from here on out. There really is no point in doing all this creative stuff without uploading it and getting it out there for others to see. And there's a simple explanation behind that. It's called laziness.

There are times where I feel kinda gutted that I'm at the start of the race as it were. It's easy to desperately be at the finish line and reap all the rewards straight away. But I'm ultimately happy when it comes down to it. When I'm actually arsed to do the work (which is usually about 5 minutes into it), it's such a thrilling experience to work on something that genuinely matters to me.

Which also makes me want to address something. It's part of social conditioning to believe that if you're not in a job, you have to get yourself one and fast. Otherwise the whole world will crumble beneath your feet and everyone will look down upon you as being a no-gooder. I've had friends and family already try and talk me into a job that they think will be right for me. And as difficult as it was to turn them down, I had to do it. It's nice of them to think that they've found a job that they believe will fit my interests and desires, but they needn't have bothered.

Because this is serious stuff. Music may not mean a lot to some/most people, but it means everything to me. It's my calling in life and it's not within my power to change that. And I'm willing to stare death in the face to bring forth the beauty from within, from the creative Muse. That's the truest form of self-expression I can offer as a human being. To dedicate my skills to another cause (no matter how noble) would feel like a waste of the unique abilities available to me. Not only would that prevent myself from being fulfilled but it would have a negative impact on those around me too.

 What if it's self-actualisation channelled through music that's really fuelling this drive? Not a bad thing to consider.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 241 | Divine Love

Theory: The reason for all suffering in life could quite simply be that we haven't opened up ourselves to express love for all things. The emptiness could just be a void where love is absent.

Applying it: Learn to love all things about your existence; your body, other people, animals, viruses, cancers, evil, selfishness and selflessness, ignorance and wisdom... Everything.

 

It would be incredibly shallow to say that I love music and playing guitar. Of course, that's how it started. But I've just been awakened to the fact that 10+ years of devotion to these things have not only deepened my love for them, but they have deepened my love for life itself. Love for the most raw perceptions available to me such as sight, sound, touch, taste, smell, thought, emotion, imagination, and the sixth sense. There is no separation between performing music, listening to music, and doing nothing as far as the divine love within me is concerned.

Actually, perhaps the reason why I've experienced so much growth over the last year or so is simply that my love for life has deepened. I've become fascinated by it. But sometimes, I still suppress that feeling because of the conditioning that needs to be grown out of. Music is no longer the forefront of my life anymore. Life has become the forefront of my life. Now more than ever, I feel compelled to discover as much as I can through means of knowledge, wisdom and direct experience.

But just to give an idea as to the things I love, maybe a list is in order. Because there are lots of things that I never would have believed possible to fall in love with. So here goes nothing! This list includes:

• The sensations of the wound steel strings of the guitar beneath the fingertips
• Vibrations of sound waves tickling the skin
• The internal music provided to me through means of the sixth sense
• The way the dog opens everything but her eyes as I rub her tummy
• Making strange and funny faces in the mirror
• Doing strange poses and body movements
• Resting my head against a wall or surface and listening to the amplified sounds it can make
• Making tasty, healthy food for me and my parents
• Laughing with those closest to me
• Embracing the aspect of myself that is far-fetched from what is socially and culturally 'normal'
• The fact that I have a fully-functioning, healthy, young body
• Embracing possibilities that others would deem impossible
• The bouncy, light-footed feeling that comes over my body when performing a piece of music
• Being unnecessarily graceful with my movements
• Making people cringe with puns
• Having meaningful conversations
• Having the balls to have made it this far
• Loving the fact that our bodies will wither and die
• Watching the heartbreak and grief of others when people die

There really is so much more to love about life and, to be fair, that was a pretty personal viewpoint. But the fact that some of those things might not resonate with you will help to define the authentic version of myself. But some things we can globally love, such as making bad puns (I wish). And to be all-loving of those things is by no means an easy thing to do alongside a heap of social conditioning. But it makes for the fuller life.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 242 | Aiming For The Stars

Theory: No greater source of motivation can be generated than that which comes from aiming for the seemingly impossible or goalless.

Applying it: Never mind worrying about attainable goals. Aim for the highest levels of mastery possible instead.

 

I've been reading through Mastery, the next book on my agenda, and a lot of the dialogue resonates me more than I imagined. It describes what it takes to go on the journey of mastery and the necessary "keys" that you must obtain to follow it properly. And it amazes me to know that my journey of mastery in fact started almost 10 years ago. That was when I hit such an all-time emotional low that I decided it was time to pursue the extraordinary. That was when my journey to guitar and music mastery truly began.

To give you an idea how much this cause meant to me when I first started out, I regret to say that thoughts of suicide were starting to emerge. Completely irrationally, of course, but certain nonetheless. I was made to feel worthless by everybody in my school as they proceeded to bully me, expose, exploit and flat-out ignore me. My close family and my guitar teacher were the only people who I could trust. If it weren't for their belief in me, I never would've had the realisation that I had the potential to be something special and extraordinary.

My visions from there on out were fuelled by this potential. As a form of escapism from all the bullshit at school, I would entertain my mind with visions of myself performing guitar alongside my guitar idols. I imagined myself shooting instructional videos, performing concerts in grand halls, and living the rock star life. The vision was so powerful that my actions became a complete slave to it. I cultivated my guitar practice to last many hours, even getting up mid-sleep on some evenings to practice licks and scales.

Before this revelation, I was such a slow learner who struggled to keep up with the Grade 8 songs and exercises in guitar lessons. But after the revelation, I knew that in order to become a guitar-playing extraordinaire, I needed to learn from them too. Whilst many my age were learning music from their favourite bands, I learned pieces by guitar virtuosos that were truly astounding. By the age of 16, I was able to perform a song called No Boundaries by Michael Angelo Batio (brownie points if you actually remember me mentioning this tune ages ago!). A link to the video will (regrettably) be linked below  

The point of this nostalgia trip is to serve as a reminder for how important it is to literally aim for the stars. Don't aim big. Aim HUGE. Aim for the things you know you could never accomplish right now but you could eventually. And over all of those years, that vision may have become stronger and weaker now and then. But it remains with me until this day. The vision never died. The same visions that guided me as a depressed, anxious teenager are the same ones that fuel my actions as a peaceful, positive young adult.

What luck to have forged a journey of mastery so long ago. Enough time has passed now for me to know that such a journey and such visions are so fucking worth it!

 

Pick of the day:

 

By comparison, this is me 5 years later:

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 243a | Time For Solitude

Theory: Most of us don't spend nearly enough time to simply block out all external distractions to be with ourselves. As a result, we feel empty and hollow.

Applying it: Set aside at least an hour a day to just simply be with yourself, thoughts, emotions, sensations, etc.

 

Solitude is home to the deepest truths, insights and enlightenment experiences possible. It's the first port of call for moments of sheer joy and utter pain. When you spend time with yourself, everything in life feels amplified: the senses, thoughts, emotions, imagination. The most profound experiences of my life, be they full of ecstasy or suffering, have happened in a place of solitude. Life in general never feels lacking or disappointing from this place. Yet after all of this, I don't spend enough time in solitude.

Solitude has an interesting dictionary definition when you dig deep. It states that solitude is "the state or situation of being alone." And I bet you just placed the emphasis on the word "alone" right? Instead, I'd like to argue that the most important word of that definition is the work "being." When we are being alone, we are not doing anything. If we are the only person in the room but we are actively doing something, then we aren't in a place of solitude.

Additionally, the word "alone" is derived from two words: all + one. How many times have you come across the phrase "all is one" or something similar? Perhaps we are only truly alone when we embody this truth. If we lived in a place where we were conscious of all things being one, we would never feel lonely even if we were trapped on a desert island with nobody else to talk to. We would never feel lack. We would live enlightened.

And that's why solitude is in fact so important as a necessity for human life. And that's also why most people aren't enlightened. We run away from solitude because we believe that it's a lonely place to live from. Whereas the truth could be no more different. And maybe that's why there are only very few enlightened masters on Earth. Because they have completely destroyed the construct between self and other, between "there's nobody in the room, therefore I'm alone," and "all things are one regardless of who's in the room, therefore I am alone."

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

Edited October 25, 2017 by Liam Johnson

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 243b | Being And Doing

Theory: It's not just as simple as "manoeuvring and non-manoeuvring." It's all to do with your mindset.

Applying it: Recognise the different mindsets that you have when you are pursuing a goal and when you are just letting nature take its course.

 

This is something I've only just realised having written the last part. I've always associated sitting and meditating as "being" and anything else as "doing." Now the question arises: what if that was all wrong? Because despite what my body seems to be doing, there are very distinct mindsets that occurs within certain activities that completely shape the nature of how it feels. This is especially relevant as a musician.

For instance, there is a huge difference between playing with a goal in mind and playing with no goal in mind. There is a huge difference between sitting with the goal of meditation and sitting for the sake of sitting. When there's a goal in mind, the mind goes into 'work mode' where it doubles down and focusses on producing the desired result. When there's no goal in mind, the mind goes into 'play mode' where it surrenders and allows things to happen naturally. Perhaps this is the true essence of being and doing.

Both of which are incredibly important and can in fact coexist in the same space. I've found this with my music all the time. More often than not, compositions are born out of 'play mode' and therefore seem to come out of nowhere. Then once the composition is born, I can go into 'work mode' and expand and refine the composition into a finished product. But it's strange. Even though I may be playing around on the guitar, I still have a desire to make more compositions. And even though I spend time refining them, I have to play around with other ideas to make the refinements.

This has suddenly become so fascinating. What if tomorrow I didn't sit for an hour with the goal for meditation, but I just sat for the sake of sitting and being alone? This has completely overthrown my previous beliefs about doing and being. And it feels uplifting too.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 244 | Facing The Grit

Theory: You never really know your greatest fears until you confront them face-to-face on the path of self-mastery.

Applying it: Instead of resisting your fears, be willing to accept and embrace them as you continue to grow. Remember that the presence of fears does not halt your progress, but your inability to be present with them does.

 

Last night, I had to have a chat with my mum and friend about the fears coming up in my mind. When you start toying with the idea that all of your work might be to no avail, it sparks the fear of not being good enough and the fear of poverty. I've been resisting these fears for a long time now through means of binge-watching and obsessively eating (although I actually want to put on muscle). Yesterday I finally managed to face my fears after the pep talks we had.

The frustrating thing for me was that I was fully conscious of what was going on. Thanks to the prior learning that I've done, it was easy to be aware of how I was choosing to allow negative thoughts in my conscious mind and how that would inevitably create failure. But despite knowing this, the fear persisted. It's still there now as I write about it now. The problem is that I'm choosing to focus on the question "what if I never make money with my music?"

And after being present with the fear for a while, it was easy to see that this was a very ego-driven fear. Making money? "My" music? It's about as self-centred as it could get. Since when did I prioritise my own well-being for the greater good? After all, the reason why I want to be a performer in the long-run is not only to fulfil my own fantasies. But as much as it seems too good to be true, it's about providing a service to others. It's about exploiting what is possible in this world. It's about exploring the beauty of the guitar and the beauty of life.

Also, I've found that these fears have also stemmed from the belief that I'm not worth much to others. This is something my teenage experiences can definitely vouch for. But what if I really do have something valuable to offer for other people? What if I stopped focussing about me for a second and stopped to consider what can be created to please and inspire others? If I choose to think about these thoughts instead, there are lots of experiences from my recent past that could validate these thoughts too.

The bottom line is that at some point, I just HAD to face my fears in order to grow further. There is no other option. And I can feel them burning my heart right now as I type. But if I continue to resist these fears any longer, (1) they will definitely not go away, (2) they will perhaps grow stronger, (3) I will constantly be looking for external stimuli to cover up the wound instead of trying to heal it, and (4) I will condemn myself to the path of failure.

The lack of creative output on my part is the result of resisting these fears. Now it's time to be conscious of them, accepting and embracing of them.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 245 | Quick Catch-Up

So I've been away for the last few days to spend some quality time over the weekend with someone close to me. So close that we are looking to forge a relationship with each other from now on. It was unexpected in a lot of ways but also something that my instincts seem to sense coming. 

We've known each other since starting work on the musical we took to Edinburgh in August. We got to know each other enough to realise that not only do we have so many similarities and so much in common (compared to the average friendship/relationship), but we also communicate with each other effortlessly and on deep levels. For a while, I've been convincing myself that I don't want to be in a relationship until the rest of my life is sorted out. But my mind has been changed completely, especially since the weekend.

The weekend was such a meaningful one in regards to this newly-formed relationship. But I decided to give up a few habits temporarily for it such as meditation, reading, journalling, music-making, and (to a degree) healthy eating. As much as the mind would love to make excuses, I know that I could have been more disciplined just as much as I could be every other day of the week. And due to that drive, it's no effort whatsoever to get back on track with these habits and keep moving along. There's certainly no room for guilt.

And in fact, this relationship has given me more incentive to work harder, which comes as a big surprise. I always put off the idea of relationships because I thought they would get in the way of my ability to do work. But instead, I feel like there's a more tangible reason to work harder. We may only get to meet up for a weekend every few weeks at the moment, which gives plenty of time in-between to get some productive work done as well as something to aim for. Our visits are the reward. The harder I work and the more I grow at home, the more fulfilling the reward will be.

So that's the reason for the lack of entries. Time to get things rolling once again.

 

Pick of the day:

 

Edited October 31, 2017 by Liam Johnson

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 246 | Creating New Beliefs

Theory: In order to engrain new beliefs into the mind, you must first become aware of your current beliefs, then create new beliefs to replace the current ones, and finally practice those new beliefs.

Applying it: Set aside at least 30mins per day to go through this process on one key aspect of your life (e.g. career, relationships, diet, ...)

 

This 3-step formula comes from The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo. Since discovering her podcast was really the first chapter of my road to self-mastery, I find myself coming back to her work time and time again to set the record straight. Today, I wanted to self-coach myself but I struggled on this very topic of creating new beliefs. Beliefs are SO important because they take 100% credit for shaping the future. What you believe is what life you create. But it's not easy to change a belief, right?

So I dug up an old podcast episode on this very issue where she described a 3-step formula to create new beliefs. They are:

1. Become conscious of your current beliefs. This is something that many of us have become experts at avoiding. Write down all of your current beliefs on a specific aspect of your life that you want to change and be honest.
2. Create new beliefs to replace the ones that aren't serving you. The most important thing about this stage is that you counter the destructive thoughts with something that you can definitely believe. It doesn't have to be the polar opposite to become better. For instance, a belief such as "I have an ugly body" can be converted into the neutral thought "I have a body."
3. Practice the new beliefs consciously. Every moment you can manage it, repeat the new belief to yourself over in your mind or even out loud. Not only should you be able to hear the new belief, but you should also be able to feel it resonate with you on an emotional level.

I decided to go through this process for my current project of starting up a YouTube channel. It was utterly shocking to complete the first step of this process, which is without a doubt the most powerful of the three. Every single one of my current beliefs about the project and about myself were negative and destructive. Knowing that thoughts and believe create your emotions which create actions which create results, it was no wonder that I hadn't taken any action up until now. Everything about my belief system screamed FAILURE.

After being slapped into awareness with a swift metaphorical backhander, I was able to sympathise with myself for having taken no action. And when it came to step two, I felt open-minded enough to accept the possibility that perhaps I could succeed, perhaps I am good enough, perhaps I can offer massive value. I found it extremely useful to not only replace the existing beliefs with new ones, but also to replace them with "what if" questions. What if I become a success? What if I can attract an audience/niche? What if I have the right personality for this project?

And so now I'm on the third step for this particular exercise, which is to practice those beliefs consciously for at least 30 days. And I'm confident that this is going to work, especially after Brooke expressed her own confidence in the technique itself. But I'm happy for right now is the fact that I really do have lots of work to do on my own mind. All I need to do is become conscious of all of those limiting beliefs and go through this process in order to convert them into something constructive and positive.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 247 | Television

Theory: Watching TV is the perfect distraction to help prevent learning. As a self-actualiser, it's worth giving it up as a habit.

Applying it: Fill your time with something else that can provide consciousness and learning. Be conscious about each moment you spend and choose to live each moment consciously.

 

So I've nearly finished Mastery by George Leonard and the final part of the book provides so much wisdom per page that it's hard not to laugh and feel good about the teachings that are being conveyed on the book. Not that the book is laughable. Rather, it's full of juicy information that will make you want to stop and think twice about. Such is the subject of television.

Television is bashed around so much in this book that it's savage. And there's this one paragraph which really opened my eyes to why it's so harmful for our personal growth. Rather than making a case in point, I'd like to just quote the book directly and let the man himself carry the message across loud and clear:

Quote

Watch an unfettered eighteen-month-old for a couple of hours. This miniature prodigy of energy has an important job (call it raw, unadulterated learning), and he ruthlessly exploits everything in his environment, that he can see, hear, taste, smell, and feel to get that job done. Some restraints must be imposed, but we tend to impose far more than safety requires. After all, we adults have already forfeited much of our energy and are easily exhausted. So we might say, "Why can't you be still?" or "I can't stand that yammering for one more second." We might try angry commands, physical restraint, or - God help us - physical punishment. More likely, we'll put the learning process on hold by parking the learner in front of the television set, no matter what's on. There! That's better! Now the kid's as lethargic as we are.

As much as I love my parents, I was almost certainly this kid. Television has been a big part of our household as far as they were concerned. Although I no longer have a habit of watching television these days, I'm a sucker for Doctor Who. When I finish writing this journal, I'm going to watch Doc Martin with my mum because not only do we both like the show but she relates watching television together as 'quality time.' And even nowadays, television disguises itself as things like Netflix, YouTube and silly Facebook videos.

Sure, it's comforting. But it's not LEARNING. Even though there are in fact programmes which can offer education (like wildlife programmes, historical programmes, etc), it's still not LEARNING because (1) it's not relevant to most of our lives, and (2) it's all theory and no action. Countless self-help books say it because it's true and it couldn't be any other way: LEARNING = THEORY + ACTION.

This statistic shows that TV watching hours have decreased very slightly over the last few years. But I wonder if the reason for that is because there are more available things online that don't classify as TV but are in fact the same. My choice of TV is YouTube. It has everything you could possibly imagine on there. While there are clearly some amazing videos on there that promote learning, it's heavily outweighed by the mindless stuff that most people tend to go for.

TV isn't evil. It's our lack of discipline in regards to watching it that creates the suffering.

 

Pick of the day:

 

(One thing I will always have learned from TV is the music)

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 248 | Making Up For Slip-Ups

Theory: It's very easy to continue on the path of slipping up once you make your first slip-up. The key to growth is committing to getting back on track.

Applying it: Try and save yourself as quickly as possible from going on a continuous path of slipping up, even if it takes days, weeks or months.

 

So this is an entry to make up for the fact that I didn't post one yesterday. And it's basically the reason why I never made one in the first place. Yesterday I went to do an STI screening early in the morning (just as a check-up, it's very important stuff) which completely threw me off my daily routine. I guess you never fully appreciate that you have a routine until you get thrown off it like that. But after I was thrown off once, it was very easy to just think "fuck it" and not bother getting back on track.

I went on a bit of a shopping spree after leaving the hospital and spend a good portion of the evening playing on video games because it's been a while. But one thing I realised was that once you commit to the path of "fuck it," it's very hard to get off that path and onto the one that you originally abandoned. Let's face facts. The path of "fuck it" is ridiculously easy to follow, most people have travelled on it at one point in their life, and you can abandon all sense of responsibility.

The path of self-actualization is comparatively a difficult path. It seems like a lot of work for nothing all that tangible, hardly anybody that you come face-to-face with is also committed to this path, and you have to face your demons and be focussing on growth all the time. But anyone wise enough to recognise that the easy path is the least fruitful one knows what's ultimately worthwhile. It's not work to no avail, even if it seems that way.

Any fool can commit to the path of self-actualisation. The true committers though are the ones who recommit time and time again without giving up. You don't have to be good at it either. You just have to recommit.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 249 | Boss What's Before You

Theory: What if life purpose is simply the task right in front of you? What if you could just boss the fuck out of that task?

Applying it: Realise that in the here and now, you can only really do one task at a time. You can't multitask. But you can certainly boss the fuck out of whatever it is you're doing right now.

 

It occurred to me during meditation a moment ago that it really doesn't bother me what task is right in front of me. Nowadays, I rarely think to myself "gee I wish I was somewhere else doing such and such a thing." I'm perfectly happy doing whatever task is right in front of me, whether it be writing a journal entry, waiting in a waiting room, cooking food, doing bicep curls at the gym, strumming on one chord with the guitar, spending time with a loved one, or anything else.

And it reoccured to me that perhaps life purpose is about the very thing that's right under my nose. It's not about what I could or should be doing. It's all about what I'm doing right now. And perhaps it's a streak of perfectionism that started this habit but whatever task I give myself, I make sure that I give it my full attention and complete it to the best of my ability. In other words, I try to boss the fuck out of it.

The actual doing of the tasks is not the difficult part. It's starting the task to begin with that seems like the biggest hurdle. Perhaps all the other obstacles after that first hurdle decrease in size as each one has been overcame. I can relate that to guitar playing. In the beginning, I was such a slow learner. The simplest of tasks felt so difficult to do at the beginning. But as the years of commitment started to accumulate, it slowly became easier and easier until the present day where it feels like a breeze.

The important thing about this is that I chose to make guitar playing my task to master. I could have easily chosen to spend that time playing video games or watching television as a kid (which I did to a degree, but not enough to prevent my ability to grow as a guitarist). As such, the difficult part is not in bossing the fuck out of the task. It's deciding to face that task head-on, in the present moment, and choose to boss the fuck out of it. That's why we say "that decision is as good as done." Once the decision is made wholeheartedly, that's the hardest part done.

There's no point trying to juggle tasks in your mind too. If you're doing some task in the now, there's no point in remembering the other tasks that you could be doing because it will only prevent progress. That's when you need to prioritise the task right in front of you. That's when you commit, and recommit, to bossing the fuck out of what's in front of you.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 250 | Reflection

What a number. A quarter of a thousand journal entries. I've sat down and written at least 250 journal entries (excluding two-parters) over the last year. Next month, it'll be a full year on since committing to this journal. What a wonderful edition to my daily life.

I've heard time and time again that the first year of entrepreneurship is the worst. And I'm certainly feeling those vibes. Because I essentially have no boss, it's up to myself to build the self-discipline and the correct mindset to produce what I want to produce. Never in my life have I had to be more conscious of my own thought patterns and habits than right now. I'm having to tackle my problems head-on. But fortunately, I know exactly where all the problems lie: within the mind.

The thoughts I think today will determine the actions for the rest of my life. If I don't believe in myself, then my actions will align with that belief. If I believe it's going to be hard work to make money from music, then that's what will be attracted to my life. One of the ways I'm starting to confront these limiting beliefs is to go through a self-coaching process: become aware of the beliefs, understand what emotions, actions, and results they create, and create new thoughts to practice believing.

One thing I will say is that by committing to this difficult path in life, the things that I used to find pleasure in before are starting to reveal themselves as toxic to my emotional wellbeing. Playing video games, binge watching YouTube videos, eating snacks, and procrastinating are just as easy to do (perhaps even easier) but they no longer provide the comfort that I was used to. I've become super aware of the long-term effects of doing these things, which has been enough to dilute the pleasure of doing these things. At least on a regular basis anyway.

Something I've been struggling on is maintaining a clear vision of the bigger picture. I've been neglecting my visualisation once again. As I complete my goals, my mind suddenly wants to revert to self-doubt, fear and anxiety that it could result in failure. It's sometimes hard to motivate myself to look at the positives, the long-term vision for the future, and keep going with full force. One way I'm starting to combat this is by sticking a load of post-it notes on my bedroom wall to remind me of all the things I've learnt from books and also all of the positive beliefs that I need to focus on.

A while ago, I promised that this would be the week that I shoot videos for a YouTube channel. As sloppy as the past few weeks have been in terms of preparation and planning, I'm going to go for it anyway. There's a good few compositions that I could create performance videos for. And at long last, the Wiimote video is finally ready to shoot. So by the end of this week, I will have at least one video shot (the Wiimote video) and perhaps a second one for performance.

One of the biggest limiting beliefs that has been holding me back from YouTube is the desire for perfection. If only I had the right camera, the right microphone, the recording skills, the home studio, the personality, the charisma... Perfectionism is nothing new to the way I like to do things. However, I can finally say that it's going too far as to prevent any progress whatsoever. I'd like to remind myself of an important quote from Psycho-Cybernetics that sets the record straight about perfection and approximations:

Quote

As we grow older, we should learn that all desires cannot be satisfied immediately. We also learn that our doing can never be as good as our intentions. We also learn to accept the fact that perfection is neither necessary nor required and that approximations are good enough for all practical purposes.

In other news, I've started a relationship with a guy I met for the Edinburgh tour last August. It came as quite a surprise that even though I wasn't looking for a relationship, it just happened. We both have ridiculously similar interests, we're both aspiring musicians, we've had uncommonly deep conversations for a typical friendship, we don't reserve our authentic personalities with each other, and we both have the hots for each other!

I thought being in a relationship would take away some of my drive to complete my goals. Instead, it's made me feel more motivated to complete them. He's been motivating me when I needed it most and I try to do the same for him. It's giving me something else to strive for in addition to everything else.

So yeah. In summary, I have been struggling with this path and I'm not deluded enough to pretend otherwise. The main source of the struggle is tackling my own beliefs about my potential in this life. It's hard to believe that you can become a rip-roaring success when it hasn't happened yet. And it's even harder to rewire your mind to produce positive thoughts and beliefs, especially since there are so many of them. But despite how much of a struggle it may seem to me, progress is being made. Not necessarily in reality, but certainly mentally. It's only a matter of time before it follows through.

 

Pick of the day:

 

 

[Liam Johnson]

Entry 251 | Resistance and Truth

Theory: All resistance is a denial of the Truth.

Applying it: Try and pinpoint all forms of resistance in your life and figure out what it is you are resisting.

 

This insight came to me during meditation today. I managed to reach a deeper place than normal today which allowed me to sustain focus for the entire hour. Two insights came to me during the session but this is the only one that I could remember and write down in time: all resistance is a denial of the Truth.

Resistance can take many different forms but all of them serve the same purpose. They take you out of the present moment, reduce awareness of the physical senses and prevent mental clarity. This could include persisting thoughts, muscular tension, ego beliefs, numbness to emotion, and other things that contribute to suffering. All of this resistance prevents you from seeing the truth of what is right in front of you. What's more, resistance can be so abundant at times that it becomes unconscious. This makes it very hard to perceive Truth.

Resistance is the ultimate dream killer. I've had plenty of first-hand experiences with it to be sure. So long as you are resisting the fears and anxieties within you, they become stronger. So long as you allow muscular tension in your body throughout the day, you will become fatigued. So long as you keep clinging to the belief that you are "me" and that this "me" exists and needs to be protected and preserved, you can never open yourself up to receive some of the most profound experiences to ever happen to you in life.

Why then is it so difficult to defeat resistance once and for all? Why is it such a difficult task to relax when those around you increase in tension? Because when you're in a state of resistance, the possible becomes impossible. It's only when you're in a state of acceptance that the impossible becomes possible.

 

Pick of the day: