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Consequences of a unregulated dating market (hypergamy)

209 posts in this topic

1 minute ago, Tudo said:

So why do most average men get so few matches on tinder for example?

Because they're lower than average. 

Plus you can't decide the whole population of women on the basis of a ghetto app like Tinder. 

Most women on Tinder from what I have heard are scammers and are looking to get someone to scam them out of their money. 

Who in the right mind judge women on the basis of Tinder? 

 


I'm a leftist liberal SJW. INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

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Even though @Emerald knows what she is talking about most of the time, she is a little biased and out of touch about what average men really have to face when dating.

Edited by Tudo

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4 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Because they're lower than average. 

 

NO. They are not.

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@Emerald I was a wingwoman a few times and it worked out well.  Granted my nerdy friends were nerds, not creeps, so I didn't have to worry about them.  Just Microsoft, Nintendo, Google employees who didn't know how to talk to women, and I had plenty of pretty and kind friends for them to get to know.


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5 minutes ago, Tudo said:

NO. They are not.

Then they are probably looking for women in the wrong place. 

Most women don't have a problem with being with an average dude. 

I have dated average men. 

Ask women on the forum if you want.

No woman is desperately hunting for a millionaire. 

 


I'm a leftist liberal SJW. INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

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The perception of women in some of these threads is ridiculous. 

Stop putting women on a pedestal and then bringing them down. 

Some of these guys act like women are holy goddesses going around crushing men at every corner. 

Women are just like men, as humanly as men. 

We are just like you. If you want a decent relationship, we want a decent relationship too. 

You try to make us look like some mysterious puzzle that needs to be cracked after attending hours of Rsd. 

No. We're no mystery. 

The only reason I would reject a guy is if he doesn't resonate with me. It's that simple. 

You make being with a woman so so extra complicated. 

It's your mind making up theories and assuming things that aren't true in the female perspective. 

Do you even speak to women as much as you read about them? 

Go approach women.. Get friendly. Stop nonsense limiting beliefs that only look for confirmation bias and extension of victimhood. 

Set your mind free and approach rather than complain about female nature. 

The amount of effort you put in remaining in your biases and stuck in philosophy, if you put even 10 % in actually making a woman feel good, you'll definitely land a girlfriend in no time 

We aren't so complicated as we are made out to be. 

 


I'm a leftist liberal SJW. INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

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1 hour ago, Emerald said:

At least there are older men who aren’t quite as online, who had to actually leave their dungeons to socialize in their teens and twenties.

 Going out and talking to girls is a must but if you do not know what you re doing, nothing will happen.  There is a reason people study this shit, because it creates results. I noticed in myself as soon as i started to make the conversations with people i met more playful and humour focused rather than serious deep focused in general their reactions were better. What comes naturally to me is to be serious, make intellectual conversations and deep stuff, most people do not respond well to that. They respond with a friendzone at the best. Being fun and playful is quite important and a lot of guys need to develop that part of their personality which could be repressed for a lot of different reasons. I had to develop that part of myself and the results were quite shocking. People tend to just like mindless dumb bullshit stuff, especially girls. Just be fun and playful and they will love you. Flirting is also a must and i still suck at it, something which also does not come naturally to some guys at all. You make it as most guys are charming charismatic people when they are not. Talking to girls if you suck at it in itself will not be enough, you have to grow and develop yourself too. Which is done by practice ofc.

 

Edited by Karmadhi

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@Karmadhi a lot of guys also need to integrate the feminine. 

A man too hung up on his masculinity is boring to a female because she can't relate to him 

 

 


I'm a leftist liberal SJW. INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

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This again lol?


"Never held a high regard for Darwin, selection takes too long.
A little kick in the pool shouldn't do us wrong.
Devouring the very last invention man would ever need.
But exponential growth is a frightening thing, indeed.
"

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@Preety_India Guys need to develop their fun and playfulness, idk if that is a feminine thing or a masculine thing. However this idea that "just be yourself" bullshit that emerald says is quite missleading for a lot of guys. Grow yourself by socializing and doing it consciously would be a much better way of going around it. 

To be honest i found the most successful guys with girls to be quite masculine without a lot of feminine integration. They were usually super confident, ruthless, funny, detached and assertive towards their agenda. This is what i have seen to work with my friends at least. 

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2 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

To be honest i found the most successful guys with girls to be quite masculine without a lot of feminine integration. They were usually super confident, ruthless, funny, detached and assertive towards their agenda. This is what i have seen to work with my friends at least. 

This part only applies to immature women who take men at face value. It's good for sex. But not for an organic relationship. 

It gives a good ego boost to men. But it doesn't teach men to be wholesome. 

If a man wants true fulfillment, stop looking for validation from women, integrate the feminine to access your deeper manhood and become and live the life of a wholesome man. 

Don't pander to societal expectation of masculinity. It is very misleading and a huge trap for men. 

 


I'm a leftist liberal SJW. INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

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20 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

The perception of women in some of these threads is ridiculous. 

Stop putting women on a pedestal and then bringing them down. 

Some of these guys act like women are holy goddesses going around crushing men at every corner. 

Women are just like men, as humanly as men. 

We are just like you. If you want a decent relationship, we want a decent relationship too. 

You try to make us look like some mysterious puzzle that needs to be cracked after attending hours of Rsd. 

No. We're no mystery. 

The only reason I would reject a guy is if he doesn't resonate with me. It's that simple. 

You make being with a woman so so extra complicated. 

It's your mind making up theories and assuming things that aren't true in the female perspective. 

Do you even speak to women as much as you read about them? 

Go approach women.. Get friendly. Stop nonsense limiting beliefs that only look for confirmation bias and extension of victimhood. 

Set your mind free and approach rather than complain about female nature. 

The amount of effort you put in remaining in your biases and stuck in philosophy, if you put even 10 % in actually making a woman feel good, you'll definitely land a girlfriend in no time 

We aren't so complicated as we are made out to be. 

 

On 9/16/2021 at 4:50 PM, Emerald said:

 

Everything you are saying could be easily fixed if these men with those types of views just attempted to befriend women in a plutonic way. Not talk to women in the attempt to gain something. Not talk to them while playing some mental gymnastics of attraction that will only fail. But have sincere intimate relationships with women to help understand them better.

Women are extremely similar to men once all the ego bs is out of the way. There is nothing special about women, at least in comparison to men.

Women's true desire is the same for almost everyone on the planet. That is to be undertook, respircated, acknowledge, loved, listened to, and bring out their best. All of this is extremely simple to do with almost any sane person just by being truly opening to listening to what others want. People will literally tell you exactly what they want if the time and effort is put in.

It honestly shocks me to how many men on this forum have these warped biased views on women considering this is an actualization forum. Pick up is not a realistic situation in order to truly get to know women either. People are highly deceiving themselves if they believe that is a real perception of women though I suppose I can help with someone's social confidence. 

Don't get why so many men are so afraid of their feminine side either. This is 2021 where that side of the self structure is praised like crazy these days. We no longer live in the toxic macho man age and people who act that way are getting called out more and more as time passes.

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Just now, Nos7algiK said:

Everything you are saying could be easily fixed if these men with those types of views just attempted to befriend women in a plutonic way. Not talk to women in the attempt to gain something. Not talk to them while playing some mental gymnastics of attraction that will only fail. But have sincere intimate relationships with women to help understand them better.

Women are extremely similar to men once all the ego bs is out of the way. There is nothing special about women, at least in comparison to men.

Women's true desire is the same for almost everyone on the planet. That is to be undertook, respircated, acknowledge, loved, listened to, and bring out their best. All of this is extremely simple to do with almost any sane person just by being truly opening to listening to what others want. People will literally tell you exactly what they want if the time and effort is put in.

It honestly shocks me to how many men on this forum have these warped biased views on women considering this is an actualization forum. Pick up is not a realistic situation in order to truly get to know women either. People are highly deceiving themselves if they believe that is a real perception of women though I suppose I can help with someone's social confidence. 

Don't get why so many men are so afraid of their feminine side either. This is 2021 where that side of the self structure is praised like crazy these days. We no longer live in the toxic macho man age and people who act that way are getting called out more and more as time passes.

100 %

My whole point basically. 

 


I'm a leftist liberal SJW. INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

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1 hour ago, Tudo said:

So why do most average men get so few matches on tinder for example? ( Some almost close to none)

 

Because that’s online dating and isn’t reflective of real-world dynamics.

Women are very intuitive and online dating is basically just visual. So, women aren’t getting the full depth and breadth of experience that they need to know if a guy is attractive to them or not.


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@Preety_India

19 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

This part only applies to immature women who take men at face value. It's good for sex. But not for an organic relationship.

Yes but most women at my age (22 and younger) are immature, i cannot expect a super wise woman at that age, i have to cater to my demographic. If i was dealing with 30 year old females i would have a much easier time because they are more mature and wise.

Regarding relationships it is not really that difficult tbh, you can be nice to them and love them once they fall in love with you. The assertivness and ruthlessness is just on the beginning, after you get close you can be nice and shit. Although being too clingy is a huge issue is see guys make and ends up with them getting dumped in a 3 year relationship where they did so much for the girl. Quite sad but understandable.

For us guys getting the sex is the most difficult thing of the process which is why most guys are so obsessed with it, the intimacy and relationship stuff comes more naturally and is not that important to us. You mostly see guys complaining about not getting laid, not complaining about their partner not being intimate with them. It is not a coincidence.

Edited by Karmadhi

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35 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

 Going out and talking to girls is a must but if you do not know what you re doing, nothing will happen.  There is a reason people study this shit, because it creates results. I noticed in myself as soon as i started to make the conversations with people i met more playful and humour focused rather than serious deep focused in general their reactions were better. What comes naturally to me is to be serious, make intellectual conversations and deep stuff, most people do not respond well to that. They respond with a friendzone at the best. Being fun and playful is quite important and a lot of guys need to develop that part of their personality which could be repressed for a lot of different reasons. I had to develop that part of myself and the results were quite shocking. People tend to just like mindless dumb bullshit stuff, especially girls. Just be fun and playful and they will love you. Flirting is also a must and i still suck at it, something which also does not come naturally to some guys at all. You make it as most guys are charming charismatic people when they are not. Talking to girls if you suck at it in itself will not be enough, you have to grow and develop yourself too. Which is done by practice ofc.

 

You will need to learn how to socialize normally if that’s something that you struggle with.

But men don’t need to be Rico Suave with their words to get women. Normal will do just fine.


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6 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Because that’s online dating and isn’t reflective of real-world dynamics.

Women are very intuitive and online dating is basically just visual. So, women aren’t getting the full depth and breadth of experience that they need to know if a guy is attractive to them or not.

Makes sense

 

 

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22 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

Everything you are saying could be easily fixed if these men with those types of views just attempted to befriend women in a plutonic way. Not talk to women in the attempt to gain something. Not talk to them while playing some mental gymnastics of attraction that will only fail. But have sincere intimate relationships with women to help understand them better.

Women are extremely similar to men once all the ego bs is out of the way. There is nothing special about women, at least in comparison to men.

Women's true desire is the same for almost everyone on the planet. That is to be undertook, respircated, acknowledge, loved, listened to, and bring out their best. All of this is extremely simple to do with almost any sane person just by being truly opening to listening to what others want. People will literally tell you exactly what they want if the time and effort is put in.

It honestly shocks me to how many men on this forum have these warped biased views on women considering this is an actualization forum. Pick up is not a realistic situation in order to truly get to know women either. People are highly deceiving themselves if they believe that is a real perception of women though I suppose I can help with someone's social confidence. 

Don't get why so many men are so afraid of their feminine side either. This is 2021 where that side of the self structure is praised like crazy these days. We no longer live in the toxic macho man age and people who act that way are getting called out more and more as time passes.

Yes, exactly.

Most men’s issues come from the distorted way they view women.

It makes us seem like a bunch of scary aliens to them. So of course they act like spazzes around women.


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Reminds me of a dating app  I used. A pretty girl 10 years my junior was messaging me. I was thinking of how to reply when I accidentally pressed "Sorry I am not interested" button. Then, the chat disappeared and I cannot message the person again. lol

Edited by hyruga

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1 hour ago, Tudo said:

Even though @Emerald knows what she is talking about most of the time, she is a little biased and out of touch about what average men really have to face when dating.

Listen, I am quite familiar with what men face in dating because it isn’t a secret. It’s VERY well complained about… especially on here.

And the number one thing that will help is for a man to dispossess himself of these distorted ideas about women.

It will make the process of meeting women so much less scary once he actually sees the reality and not this alien projection.


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