Panic Attack

[Striving for more]

Panic attack again, no sleep tonight. 

Mobile Hotspot, thought I'd lost the plot but I could think my way through mobile hotspot, so I guess I'll be alright, no sleep tonight. 

Had to write cos there's nothing fucking else to do. Not in this state, I can't watch some film or go unconscious or act happy or sad or think or not think. 

I can only write. 

Not sure what that was, panic attack. 

prolly not so comprehensible right now, was a panic attack.  

guess I can't just smoke that stuff, thought I was less vulnerable than that.  

Music in my ears means music in my veins but where's the alcohol tonight, one time I truly need it, you weren't there when I needed you ... & I couldn't get you, out of reach like the untouchable women I always wanna slay on a Friday night. 

Fuck panic that's a heart attack. 

Body shivers sometimes you need sedatives, save you a lot of pain, first comes the 2 hours of convulsions then the energy shifts to the thoughts, I'm not sure which stage is worse, now it's just bitter after taste, I don't mind some discomfort I'm used to but the next day get fucked up, I wanted this week to be resting & my system failed me...or I failed my system, like I said ... I shouldn't have smoked that. 

Edited September 16, 2021 by Striving for more

[Striving for more]

Expensive Panic Attack. 

Arrogant with the money I got an expensive panic attack. 

The alcohols coming No regrets. 

I wanted peace but I'm only trying to knock myself out of reality, GABAergic neurons are excited ready to fuck me. 

I'm not into dick but I'll ride the Gaba tonight. 

Deliver to my door this world that we're in, Efficiency the beauty of it wanna be part of it wanna create it bitch I'll build a city. 

Edited September 16, 2021 by Striving for more