Marcel

How can i integrate my masculinity?

58 posts in this topic

@martins name

So much good stuff.

I love it.

Thank you very much.


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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Or, just let all the trying go and do what makes you feel good.

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On 13.9.2021 at 4:49 PM, Waken said:

Or, just let all the trying go and do what makes you feel good.

:)


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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@Marcel  You might be a non-conforming person. I honestly find that the only way that is possible to be, since what is gender other than gender expectations and stereotypes? What is it that connects all males? Nothing much if you think about it, include trans people etc. There is always at least one thing that might make you feel like the overall perception of what it means to be a man/woman does not fit you. (This also kind of destroys the labels of heterosexual and bisexual by the way, reducing them to mere preferences in sex / reproduction instincts.) What if a guy is comfortable with everything that a guy does but he wears a dress and long hair? What if a woman says she is a woman but she dresses like a man and does "masculine things". Biological sex does not define you by the way and it is also a spectrum. I don't know if this is too confusing for you, but I personally find it very freeing, as it enables you to pursue many different things, feelings etc. You can still come out basically the same person out of this contemplation, but I find it very nice and useful to have, especially with somebody who has questioned this a lot.

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@bejapuskas

That was a great post. I never thought about gender as a spectrum. Thank you very much for this insight. Very enlightening.

I felt super confused about my gender basically my whole life. Especially in my teens.

I always marveled about how nice it would be to be a girl.

Nowadays i am very aware of my strong feminine side, that i completely repressed back then.

Hence why i have / had a lot of feminine desires. 

And since there was mostly unhealthy and toxic masculinity around me, i fully leaned into my feminine side completely unconsciously.

And therefore felt i was transgender or non-binary later. But as i mentioned at the start of this thread.

Meeting my girlfriend has put a lot of things into perspective for me. She gives me a lot of clarity.

Also she is super open minded, accepting and understanding. She is the best.

1 hour ago, bejapuskas said:

You might be a non-conforming person

Probably. I agree.

I question everything and my gender as well of course.

And i just never fit into any stereotype, as most people don´t i suppose.

Naturally i began looking for answers and explanations that fit me.

If i had to put it into percentages. I feel 98% feminine and 2% male.

The 2% run the show in the background and the 98% makes up my personality, wishes and desires.

And i feel really comfortable with this understanding and or definition of myself.

I am a really feminine men. That´s how i would describe myself.


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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To me, it seems very masculine the way you want to take up this quest of integrating masculine energy.

A question to ask yourself is:

  • In what ways do you already use the masculine energy in your life? (even though feminine might be more dominant, I'm sure it is not all feminine)
  • In what ways do you use this masculine energy negatively and positively?
  • what does being masculine mean to you, and is this image something that you would benefit from taking another perspective upon?

I would also recommend some of Teals Swan's youtube videos if you don't already know her. She has some interesting views on masculinity and femininity and the relationship between these two -  also tools to work with childhood trauma. 

I admire you so much for taking a look at your patterns and shadows like this. That is such a brave thing to do. 

As you said, you lost the weight, you helped your mom, you have honest caring conversations with your girlfriend - a thing that must have made her feel like you took care of her and her inner life - and now you are doing this, looking at yourself like this, taking up the work.

This seems like healthy masculine traits / a healthy way of using masculine energy. 

So yea. Maybe you are already standing in the middle of where you thought you were supposed to go. 

 

 

 

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5 hours ago, Sine said:

I admire you so much for taking a look at your patterns and shadows like this. That is such a brave thing to do. 

Thank you very much for saying this. I appreciate it. It is scary, but worth it.

5 hours ago, Sine said:

I would also recommend some of Teals Swan's youtube videos if you don't already know her

I am aware of Teal Swan. I think i even watched some of her videos on masculinity and femininity and the ones about childhood trauma before. But that was probably a couple of months or even more then a year ago and i have certainly outgrown myself infinitely since then. I´ll take a look at her videos again. Thank you very much for the suggestion.

5 hours ago, Sine said:

So yea. Maybe you are already standing in the middle of where you thought you were supposed to go. 

This. Exactly this.

My girlfriend tells me that i am already very masculine all the time when either one of us brings this topic up hehe 

I don´t know i just don´t feel masculine at all.

My male examples of masculinity in my life were cold, emotionally distant and sometimes even downright toxic. That is probably how, why and when i unconsciously suppressed my masculine and took on a feminine identity. I am both in my mind. I am very feminine and very masculine.

 For everything in my life i exist in both extremes. I can be calm as a rock but explode like a volcano when i need to. It is fascinating to always have both sides to look at things from. But it is mega difficult to handle and integrate sometimes.

My girlfriend is just the best when it comes to this. She has already integrated the sides that i am lacking and vice versa most of the time.

It is generally a miracle how insanely similar her and me are, we complement each other almost perfectly in every way.

 


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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What if being tapped into your femininity is actually like a superpower ? A portal to being your God self. Instead of trying to be more masculine according to society, love and accept that feminine aspect even more.  Worship it. Does God really have a concept of gender ? Letting go of that inner sense of gender identity does not mean that you will become less attractive to your partner, in fact probably just the opposite. 

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2 hours ago, Wilhelm44 said:

What if being tapped into your femininity is actually like a superpower ? A portal to being your God self. Instead of trying to be more masculine according to society, love and accept that feminine aspect even more.  Worship it. Does God really have a concept of gender ? Letting go of that inner sense of gender identity does not mean that you will become less attractive to your partner, in fact probably just the opposite. 

It is kind of.

I was always able to understand women completely naturally.

And i was a total nerd who only played video games throughout my entire teen years.

And never interacted with anyone really.

It is very practical to understand and see things from different perspectives.

Plus i like being feminine, its very warm and cosy to me.


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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44 minutes ago, Marcel said:

It is kind of.

I was always able to understand women completely naturally.

And i was a total nerd who only played video games throughout my entire teen years.

And never interacted with anyone really.

It is very practical to understand and see things from different perspectives.

Plus i like being feminine, its very warm and cosy to me.

Yeah I guess this process works differently for everyone. When I stopped seeing myself as weak or weird for being quite feminine, somehow my divine masculine began to come alive rather effortlessly. 

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10 hours ago, Wilhelm44 said:

Yeah I guess this process works differently for everyone. When I stopped seeing myself as weak or weird for being quite feminine, somehow my divine masculine began to come alive rather effortlessly. 

That´s awesome.

It will probably be like that for me as well.

I felt super weird for being so feminine in the past as well.

But now i fully embrace it and doing that helped me a ton in easing my mental health struggles.


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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3 hours ago, Marcel said:

That´s awesome.

It will probably be like that for me as well.

I felt super weird for being so feminine in the past as well.

But now i fully embrace it and doing that helped me a ton in easing my mental health struggles.

Yes, and divine masculine will express differently through each individual. What tripped me up personally was being too hung up on society's definitions of masculinity. 

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8 hours ago, Wilhelm44 said:

Yes, and divine masculine will express differently through each individual. What tripped me up personally was being too hung up on society's definitions of masculinity. 

Amen.

Societies definitions are wrong, restricted and or limited most of the time anyhow.


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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On 13/09/2021 at 3:43 PM, martins name said:

@blessedlion1993 @Marcel

Try doing this navel chakra meditation:

  1. Assume a gentle smile.
  2. Breathing deeply. On the out-breath, feel this love-infused, joyful, generous power radiate from your gut/navel area/manipura chakra location out into every direction. (If you have trouble creating an emotion, remember a time when you felt that emotion strongly or imagine a scenario.)
  3. Hold the out-breath for a little while.
  4. Imagine a beautiful, powerful sun i your gut, radiating beautiful, warm, nurturing, blindingly bright light. (You don't have to see the sun just think/feel/intuit it)
  5. Feel it nourishing you.
  6. Then everyone in the universe equally, like the sun nourishes all life on earth. Even alien life looks up into the night sky and become mesmerized by the distant sight of our sun.
  7. Feel your loving breath stoking the fire of your sun like a flame needs oxygen.
  8. Feel the humor of the life, laugh it up, heal the world with the sound of bubbling joy.
  9. Feel the utter perfection of the world. Feel completely at peace.
  10. Continue step 2, 3 and 4 while keeping your sense of peace. Do it for as long as you like, i recommend 30 minutes. 
  11. You can experiment with placing the sun in the middle of your head and radiating joy from there. This simultaneously opens the third eye chakra. It will feel absolutely blissful.

Success in this meditation is measured by well being. Let your intuition guide you to it.

Those are some great points. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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On 9/3/2021 at 10:19 AM, Opo said:

Kill something every day. 

???xD lmao


hrhrhtewgfegege

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@Marcel  I am so happy my post was useful for you. It can be terrifying to pursue the truth about yourself because of all sorts of factors, but also kinda freeing. Sometimes labels can help, but they can also be confusing, especially when they get mixed up with intrusive thoughts. They can help you kinda see or admit that you have something, for example I did not know the concept of sensual attraction before my friend introduced it to me. I was confused because I liked cuddling with guys and I am very bromantic, but I do not identify as attracted to men. (whatever that means) I am glad your girlfriend is supportive of you :) I second the Teal Swan videos suggestion, some of her content really helped me.

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On 9/3/2021 at 2:28 PM, Marcel said:

 

I am a 22 year old male, but a very very feminine one at that.

To a point where i believed that i was transgender until very recently.

But meeting my girlfriend and having a lot of conversations finally made me realise that i am definitely a man at my core being.

I think i already embody my feminine side to a pretty high degree.

But my masculine side ...

I honestly feel that i don´t even know how to act masculine, at least i feel that way. I feel really girly and feminine.

And i do have the feeling that i have a lot of suppressed masculine in my system.

But for the life of me, i don´t know how or when this must have happened.

So what do i need to do to embody my masculinity more?

I am asking this because, for a very long time i had a huge aversion to anything that was not feminine.

I almost felt disgusted by other man. Now, for clarity, i did not hate or judge anybody.

But thinking of myself in terms of masculinity felt repelling to me in my teens.
 

Lift weights, eat beef, be brutally honest with you, make your self the top priority in everything you do. don't try to be extra nice to impress people, never respect anyone more than you respect yourself. I think that should be enough to start with. 

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