Giulio Bevilacqua

Can't Surrender to this

19 posts in this topic

You maybe have already seen some of my posts about the "strange" movements i am facing in this last time.

When i let go of control and effort and just flow, the body starts to go into a Whirling motion like a Dervish.

Many times  have tried to surrender to this. I came to a point where the speed was so intense where a big terror and fear popped up. At some point  something was crawling along the spine and getting stuck behind my neck.

It seems that this stuff wanst surrender totally with a full heart, but i reallly feel not ready to jump into it. I do not know where this motion is going to take me, it's like jumping into a supermassive black hole. Who would do that ?

I met a guy online who went through the same thing. He said that as the motion finished by itlsef he melted with "something".  

Obviously i can take other actions like walking eating and so on, but they feel so forced and not in a state of alignment and truth

It seems there are no other options than dying into this tornado of energy with full trust.  I could never imagine to finish in such a situation for a so long time. 

Resisting it for many months now. Just wish this thing to end soon... 

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1 hour ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

It seems there are no other options than dying into this tornado of energy with full trust.

That's it 

Trust is your tool. Seems it's not strong enough. What's limiting its strength? 

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Man, I have a desire to fully surrender to dance and song

completely one with God. I feel like I am a live wire but I am trapped in a concrete jungle for now.


"When you Look in the sky, Just try looking inside, God Knows what you might find... "Here Comes The Nighttime" -Arcade Fire 

Qigong and Spirituality +Vlog - Thought Art

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1 hour ago, Bluff said:

That's it 

Trust is your tool. Seems it's not strong enough. What's limiting its strength? 

The fear.

and I really do not know of what.

i think it is fear of loosing the body or dying 

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42 minutes ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

I really do not know of what

That should not satisfy you. Contemplate what you are afraid of right in the moment when you face this experience. 

If it turns out to be fear of loosing the body or dying, find a way of showing yourself that there is no need to fear that. 

For example, every night you go to sleep, you are not fearful. Even though you do loose your body and kinda die. But you always get your life and body back, after you wake up.

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A lot of people seem to stress this idea of "facing your fear" and "surrendering", as if fear was this monster you need to slay sooner or later.

I don't find that helpful. The idea that you should surrender, that you need to face your fears, in itself 'assumes' the fear / obstacle being something actual. As if there was 'something there', when in fact there is not, but only in imagination.

There is no hurry. It's okay to be afraid. What is to be let go is the belief that you need to surrender, and damn you if you don't.

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1 hour ago, roopepa said:

As if there was 'something there', when in fact there is not, but only in imagination.

So in imagination it is there?! Isn't it then an illusion it would be helpful to see through? 

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2 hours ago, roopepa said:

A lot of people seem to stress this idea of "facing your fear" and "surrendering", as if fear was this monster you need to slay sooner or later.

I don't find that helpful. The idea that you should surrender, that you need to face your fears, in itself 'assumes' the fear / obstacle being something actual. As if there was 'something there', when in fact there is not, but only in imagination.

There is no hurry. It's okay to be afraid. What is to be let go is the belief that you need to surrender, and damn you if you don't.

To surrender in this context is to allow the resistance to the visceral sensation of fear that you can feel in the body to release. Because whilst you're in resistance, you suffer, because your resistance is blocking the flow of energy (and the felt sensation of fear is ultimately just energy).

Edited by RickyFitts

'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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30 minutes ago, Bluff said:

So in imagination it is there?! Isn't it then an illusion it would be helpful to see through? 

I don't understand what you are asking.

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11 minutes ago, RickyFitts said:

To surrender in this context is to allow the resistance to the visceral sensation of fear that you can feel in the body to release. Because whilst you're in resistance, you suffer, because your resistance is blocking the flow of energy (and the felt sensation of fear is ultimately just energy).

Yes, but I think that what is presented here is essentially just worry about 'a me not being able to surrender'. As if it was an act one does not want to do. This thought-story can be let go.

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if it s hard then ur brain muscles could be just weak maybe that is problem

do yoga . exercise and watch your body is balanced , do love on it love also include in yoga so learn it

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can i check your face is tilt in some direction or body tilt?

 

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35 minutes ago, ganu said:

can i check your face is tilt in some direction or body tilt?

 

What do you mean ?

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8 hours ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

You maybe have already seen some of my posts about the "strange" movements i am facing in this last time.

When i let go of control and effort and just flow, the body starts to go into a Whirling motion like a Dervish.

Many times  have tried to surrender to this. I came to a point where the speed was so intense where a big terror and fear popped up. At some point  something was crawling along the spine and getting stuck behind my neck.

It seems that this stuff wanst surrender totally with a full heart, but i reallly feel not ready to jump into it. I do not know where this motion is going to take me, it's like jumping into a supermassive black hole. Who would do that ?

I met a guy online who went through the same thing. He said that as the motion finished by itlsef he melted with "something".  

Obviously i can take other actions like walking eating and so on, but they feel so forced and not in a state of alignment and truth

It seems there are no other options than dying into this tornado of energy with full trust.  I could never imagine to finish in such a situation for a so long time. 

Resisting it for many months now. Just wish this thing to end soon... 

What about if you realize that whatever you write doesn’t come from real You. And it comes from so called ego? 

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36 minutes ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

What do you mean ?

I wanna know u have facial asymmetry

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On 1/9/2021 at 8:39 PM, James12345 said:

What about if you realize that whatever you write doesn’t come from real You. And it comes from so called ego? 

What would change ?

 

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On 1/9/2021 at 9:11 PM, ganu said:

I wanna know u have facial asymmetry

What can my face tell ?

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The monkey will let go of a branch only when the next branch is seen.

I would suggest that you can't let go unless you fully learn to be disciplined beyond most human conceptions of what discipline is or is not.

As you become able to concentrate, as your will becomes crystallized so to speak, as you gain clarity from the surrounding noise, you will see the branch. You may then decide to surrender, to invest your will into letting go.

All the talks about "who is the doer?" "it's the ego who can concentrate, but the Self is ever free" is not relevant in this case.

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2 hours ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

What would change ?

 

“you” will Stop! ?

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