To my lover

[Preety_India]

@lxlichael thank you. 

 

[Marcel]

2 hours ago, lxlichael said:

You're creating inner worlds together, connecting consciousness in ways very few people are brave enough and lucky enough (to find the right person) to do.

Enjoy this greatness.

Keep the dream within a dream permanently close to your heart while keeping each other's other foot on the ground with an air of sophistication. 

I agree.

The two of us have an otherworldly connection.

It is nothing short of a miracle.

We have so many similarities.

We might just as well be the same person born into two different bodies.

Edited August 29, 2021 by Marcel

[Hulia]

@Preety_India Sorry, I won´t comment in the other journal  

 

 

[Preety_India]

@Hulia so how is the company where you work 

[Hulia]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

@Hulia so how is the company where you work 

Oh don´t ask, It´s pretty crazy currently. With all that directors - new and old. Every day some new ideas, new changes, new requirements from everyone of them, seeing only their part of whole picture. I don´t know anything any more. I have developed a concept for new target operating model, I was sure it would work for 90%, and the rest 10% I would need to check and solve on spot when we start. But there have been so many changes since then, I am not even informed about all of them, I am not sure of anything any more, or rather I am sure, that nothing will work. My ex-boss says, we should try and walk passionless through this development stage of our company.  

But I don´t want to bother you with this crap. If I had had a lover, I wouldn´t give a shit but walk passionless

Actually.. since I know, that nothing will work properly, I can relax.. No need to bother about unknown 10%

Edited August 29, 2021 by Hulia

[RickyFitts]

6 hours ago, Preety_India said:

@RickyFitts  @lxlichael  all I can say is that he has moved me deeply. He has made me more vulnerable. I smile everytime I think of him and I feel emotional. 

 

 

It's a beautiful thing, dear Preety

[Hulia]

@Preety_India Oh god... I could read your love letters for eternity..

[Hulia]

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

2 hours ago, Hulia said:

@Preety_India Oh god... I could read your love letters for eternity..

Beautiful 

[Preety_India]

I hope you see this when you wake up. Love you my honey. 

 

[Preety_India]

10 hours ago, RickyFitts said:

It's a beautiful thing, dear Preety

Thank you Daniel. 

 

[RickyFitts]

11 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Thank you Daniel. 

 

You're welcome, darl  

[Preety_India]

OK I have finally decided to cut down my socialization on the forum since it has been a bit difficult for me for the past few weeks.

Although I still like to talk to people that I get along with really well, I want to keep a limited number of people that I'll choose to talk to, especially people that I really get along with.. 

This is to reduce my attention that I give, since giving attention to so many people is impossible. 

I decided to choose a few people I'll limit my attention to.. 

So these are the people that I'll be able to give attention to long term and consistently and I will be able to have meaningful conversations with them as they get along with me the most. 

I have decided to galvanize my attention to these people. 

@lxlichael

@MuadDib

@RickyFitts/Daniel 

@lastthursday

@esilda

@gianna

@marcel

@Hulia

 

Thanks 

 

 

Edited August 30, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Wow I listened to this song for 1 hour, I just can't believe it. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

12 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

 

Omg these pictures perfectly describe his facial vibes.

He is so calm when he looks at me. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is how he will look at me when I'm angry. 

 

 

 

 

I don't know what to say. It feels other worldly. I feel like I'm in a different kind of heaven, a romantic heaven. When I'm with him. It's like suddenly my life has a new meaning. 

I feel very pleasant and warmed when I talk to him. I become very happy and my happiness grows inch by inch the more I think about him. 

 

A million years of happiness won't compare to a moment with him. 

He is my fantasy hero come to life. 

He brings a heavenly smile to my face. He wipes away every fear, doubt, worry, anger, restlessness from my face. 

I suddenly feel calm and flowing and at peace when I'm with him. He takes my breath away. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I like to surprise him sometimes. 

A big part of me is this unpredictability. 

*run run he came.

 

[Preety_India]

 

Good morning my love 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Writing it here 

 

 

I heard the first song i posted earlier only yesterday for the first time.

But it sucked me right back into the past. 

When i was sitting in front of my computer all day, my mom coming in from time to time and telling me she would kill her self and threatening that she would jump infront of a train.

I don´t know what it is about this song that resonates with me so much.

Maybe is is the artist C-Mob on the first song that triggered all of these memories.

My mind running through my schedule in my teen years

3 am getting woken up by my mom with a friendly "I will kill myself today"

7 am getting out of bed after breaking my mind for 4 hours how i would get through this day again.

7:45 am school starts, im always there on 7:43 on time, because i don´t want to stand around in front of the classroom for too long.

1 pm, the typical school day ends and i walk to my grandparents house to eat lunch

1:30 pm I arrive, i eat lunch with my grandparents, like always my grandpa has to start a toxic argument, even when im there

2:30 pm I get home, my mom stands in the door way and i can see that she cried again and says "im still here" as per usual, that is what she did if she was not laying on the couch and watching TV.

3pm i set myself in front of my Pc, play video games listen to music, do my homework 

11pm I go to sleep

 

Rinse and repeat that was my day and the first song i posted fully got me back in to the way i felt back then.

Just hoping that i can make it through this hell.

Well im here now. So i guess i made it after all.