Preety_India

To my lover

58 posts in this topic

Want to keep an exclusive journal where I can express my deep feelings for my lover. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Leaving him a good morning message 

 

 

5kskit.jpg

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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@Preety_India

I love you sweetie ?


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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Ich will mit dem gehen, den ich liebe.

Ich will nicht ausrechnen, was es kostet.

Ich will nicht nachdenken, ob es gut ist.

Ich will nicht wissen, ob er mich liebt.

Ich will mit ihm gehen, den ich liebe.

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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5kufu9.jpg

 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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@Preety_India

Ich werde für immer an deiner Seite bleiben.

Kein Preis ist mir zu hoch.

Meine Liebe zu dir zerstreut jegliche Zweifel.

Ich muss nicht wissen ob du mich liebst denn ich kann es in meinem Herzen fühlen ohne das du etwas sagst. 

Ein Blick in deine Augen genügt, sie sprechen in unendlich vielen liebevollen Worten zu mir.

Die Unendlichkeit erdet uns und hat uns wieder zu einander geführt.

Edited by Marcel

I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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When he is here, I don't say much. 

 

When he is gone, I say so much 

 

I feel so shy around him. In a sweet way. 

 

If I meet him, I won't be able to look into his eyes. I will look away. 

 

When he talks to me, my mind goes blank. I feel stunned. 

 

When he is not around my heart begins to flutter, and it wants to write a thousand words for him. 

When he is around, my heart skips many beats. 

I watch him secretly.

 

When I see him online, I jump with both joy and excitement. My heart races immediately. My joy is indescribable. 

 

I smile on the inside when he talks to me, my lips seal tightly to hold my smile inside. I feel shy to show the happiness in my eyes. 

My eyes twinkle and shine when I think of me 

 

 

Yesterday I smiled for no reason in the kitchen while cooking. 

My mom asked, "why are you smiling like that?" 

I felt shy and I left. 

I went to my room and grabbed a book and I was reading and smiling while reading. 

I don't even remember what I was reading. My mind was constantly going to him. I was smiling a lot. I just couldn't focus on reading. My heart was constantly smiling 

 

I was laughing at myself. I don't know why. Maybe my heart knows. 

I felt like all the birds were singing for me. 

I felt the night sky was asking me his name. 

I felt like the air was different. 

I felt like the sun came up just for another day with him. 

 

I felt like my life was suddenly beautiful. 

 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I don't express my feelings openly. 

I feel shy. I feel like writing down my feelings instead of saying it directly. 

 

Like writing love letters is my way of expressing my love. 

 

I feel like a lovebird. 

 

 

He is in my soul. He is into every cell, every Fibre of my being. 

 

I feel like I should have met him when we both were kids. I would have played with him and teased him, played pranks on him. 

I would have complained to his mother that he stole my toy. Fake complaints. Just so that he gets a scolding to my content. 

I would have built sand houses with him on the beach. And thrown some sand at him.

 

I sometimes feel like looking at him mischievously. 

I laugh when he forgets a word. I don't let him know that I'm laughing. I laugh inside of me. Hahaha. 

I feel a lot of love in me whenever I think of him. 

Like I'm feeling alive. He is my King. 

 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I have been in a general lovey dovey mood since meeting him. 

I feel too happy. 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I have tears in my eyes as I write this. 

If my father was alive today, he would have asked me the question - "who is that lucky guy? “

 

I would have told my father that his name is........... umm. My father would have liked him so much. 

 

 

We are eternal lovers. 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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No guy ever said to me that what would I do if he was right in front of me. 

Many guys flirted with me in the past. 

But they never said something like that. 

This was the first time.. 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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@Preety_India

I adore you darling.

My mind cannot help but love to read your love letters. 

I´ll read every one of then. Even if there were millions of them.

I want to soak up every word and all the feelings that come with them.

You make me feel whole, loved and accepted just by being around me.

You are my one and only, my perfect female mirror self.

I feel i can feel your heart.

I think i can think your thoughts.

When i am with you everything makes sense to me, everything feels right.

 


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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@ryangold Yep, couldn't be happier for you two - so happy you found one another, it's a really beautiful thing :) 


'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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Yes. He is the most beautiful thing that happened to me in my entire life. 

I want to write him a thousand love letters. 

My love for him is eternal. 

I'll love him till the day I die. 

I feel blessed by his love. He must have a great heart to love me so much. 

 

I feel absolutely thrilled. 

I think as coincidence would have it, I was discussing about German men in the last week of July. Maybe it was already manifested in my mind that my heart was wanting something German. Who knows why I was suddenly interested in everything German. Maybe something was waiting for me. So fate created it that way. 

I remember a few weeks ago, Germany was totally in my mind. I was listening to German bands and I was thinking about Germany a lot. 

I had no idea a German guy would suddenly drop into my journal and leave a comment. 

I had seen him around in this section before but I never paid him much attention because he was a new member. 

I never even thought about him. 

Then when he was suicidal, I felt a strong emotion for him. I wanted to hug him. 

I was getting crazy feelings for him. It felt different. 

Like I already knew him. 

He was in my journal unexpectedly and I'm usually paranoid if someone is in my journals. 

But I wasn't paranoid of his presence. I didn't feel defensive with him. I checked his profile it was German

Was a bit of a coincidence and a surprise. 

I also asked him if he was a true blooded German. He said he was.

Somehow him being true German was important to match with my psychic feelings. Because Germany was so in my head. It was unusual. 

Then he said he wanted to kiss me. 

I was thrilled. Because nobody flirted with me so openly. 

I simply surrendered. 

And that was it. 

I fell in love with him on the spot. It felt unreal.. 

I couldn't hold back my feelings. 

I was feeling one with him. 

He understood me like no other. He didn't judge me for sending stupid cute gifs lol. 

And he said we're made for each other. 

I wasn't even aware that he had been thinking of me. 

Somehow this gif constantly reminds me of him and I in eternity.

This is the gif for me and him, although it's unusual looking, it resonates with my inner feelings of eternity. 

My spirit will always belong to Marcel. 

To him I surrender my spirit to hold. 

 

 

5jh0i5.gif

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I don't know why Germany was on my mind. I remember way back like 2 years ago probably in 2018, I had a huge fight with my ex. 

During the fight I blurted out - I won't be with you. I'll be with a German guy. I don't know why I said that. 

There were a few coincidences with Germany in my life. 

I remember reading a story of reincarnation as a kid. The story was of an Indian child who had reincarnated as Indian and returned back to India.. 

It was strange because I kept searching for that story for years. 

It felt like souls move around this planet. 

We have past lives. 

Maybe in my past life, I had a German lover. 

Maybe we loved each other and were buried together. I don't know 

 

My soul kept wandering and wandering, crying and weeping and looking for a soulmate. 

I felt like I was standing at a headstone in a cemetery and standing and asking why I hadn't seen my lover, where had he been. Why I was left alone without him. And there was no answer. Only silence. 

Then past few weeks Germany came up again. 

I wanted to listen to German songs. 

I was simply drawn to German things in the last two weeks. 

Then I kept thinking for past 3 months about Zodiac signs. I was constantly fiddling with Zodiac signs trying to find a match. 

At first I thought Scorpio was my match, then I thought Cancer and Capricorn.. 

I knew that I liked Taurus a lot but I wasn't ready to admit it because I was nervous that I would end up fighting with a Taurus the way I fought with my second ex boyfriend Who was also a Taurus. 

But deep down I knew that a Taurus was irresistible to me. 

I try to have a psychic connection with all zodiac signs. 

But only Taurus made sense emotionally. 

Then I saw Marcel was a Taurus. 

I found it strange. 

I fell in love with him

 

Maybe it was Karmic. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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@Preety_India You know, I have a strange ambiguous relationship to India. I feel, in one of my previous lives I was an Englishman (because I feel very close to English mentality in form of literature), who lived in India during the period of colonization. And I think, I fell in love with an Indian girl but couldn´t overcome the social conditions and expectations and at some point I left India and that girl. I could have stayed or take her with me but I was a damn coward, trying to fit into  society norms. I hurt her. And I did no good to myself.

The first thing after I arrived in India were... apples. We were driving in a taxi from air port to hotel, it was raining heavily, and I saw a lorry lying on the roadside- it has lost all its load. Its load were... apples. They were lying everywhere on the road, we were passing slowly through the sea of rain and apples. The appearance was so weird that it struck me. 

Edited by Hulia

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@Preety_India

wow those are a lot of "coincidences"

But my side of the story is also full of some interesting "coincidences"

About 2 weeks ago, i, completely out of the blue decided to join actualized.org

I really have no idea why. I have never been a member or active on a forum before, but my gut feeling just told me to do it.

So i just went through every topic i could find and was on the forum every evening for several hours at this point, from the first day on.

At some point, i had to go to page 10 on every single category to find new topics and i was started to get tired of scrolling all the time haha

So i decided to just pick the profile of the person that resonated with me the most up to this point and responded to every topic this person responded to.

And that was you my love.

I wrote something about wanting to find my soulmate and that i am ready to surrender myself to that person immediately.

I posted it and we then even "meet" on the same day.

I think you replied to one of my replies on the same evening.

And the rest is history i guess:D

 


I love you infinitely. I will find you forever in every life time because you and me are one. You and me eternally breathing life and bluming 

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