perrywinkle

Mom scammed 20k by "psychic healer", need advice

56 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Yep. I don't really know where to begin. My mom believes in all kinds of crazy shit, most of which I've only begun to realize. The only reason I know this information is because my younger sister (16) just told me. My mom's always been sort of out there, doing things like going to Alien-con and trying out all sorts of spiritual healing, however, especially in the pandemic, the extent of what she'll believe in has gotten much worse. I caught on early last year that she had been sucked into Q'anon, which is when I started to realize how delusional she was becoming. I started to question the things she'd tell me to which she sensed that I no longer take her seriously, so for the past year or so she'll rarely tell me anything. Now that I'm in college, we barely talk and the only insight I get into her "spiritual" ventures is through my younger sister who still lives with her.

Anyways, I was aware that she'd been seeing some sort of "spiritual" healer for the past year because she told me that she'd met this girl that was "helping" her, and that the healer was going to help me and my sister too somehow. I didn't really know what this meant, so I just went along with it and let my mom do her own thing. My mom said that she needed a personal item from me and my sister for whatever reason, and asked me to give her my toothbrush, so I did. I knew that whatever was going on was probably nuts, but I didn't think there was anything I could do about it. Every time I try to question or inquire my mom about what's going on or what she believes in she feels like it's a personal attack, that I think she's crazy, etc. so the best way for me to get any information is to act unbiased and go along with it. After the toothbrush thing, I didn't hear much about it other than that her healing was supposedly going well and that she thought this person was an "angel". It was only until an hour or so ago from my sister that I learned that my mom had actually given around 20 thousand to this person before eventually realizing they were lying to her. Apparently, she had met this healer at some "spiritual" convention, and they told my mom she had some sort of demon attached to her and her kids, and that she needed to have some sort of exorcism done (at least that's my understanding). I'm not sure the extent of what she was told or what she believed in, but I'm pretty sure she thought our lives were actually endangered.

I could go on and on about all the fake "spiritual" traps my mom has got entangled with and spent money on, but this by far has been the worst. For the past 8 or 9 years, I've watched her run around in circles chasing some sort of spiritual fulfillment, but my guess is that she doesn't really know what that means which has manifested itself in a lot of mistaken ways. One of the most painful parts of this is that I feel like I can no longer can take her advice or look up to her as my mother. The only way I've been able to cope with this is by detaching myself from her drama and letting her work through her own shit, but after this, I don't know how to just let her deceive and hurt herself like this. As a 19-year-old kid, I feel like this is too much for me to handle and make sense of.

What can I do? Is there any way I can snap her out of this fake spiritual-seeking trance she's in? I've thought about sending her some Actualized videos but I don't know how to get her to listen without feeling like it's a personal attack. Are there other sources on epistemology/true spirituality I could try to get her on? It's frustrating because it feels like the more I try to get her to question her beliefs, the more I feel like she pulls away from me as my mother. Although I still care for her, our relationship has become very shallow and I feel like the only way I can get close to her is to affirm her beliefs. I hate feeling this burden and I hate to think this going to be a recurring thing. If you've read this far and you have any advice to give, please let me know!

Edited by perrywinkle

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Take her to a psychologist or a therapist. She needs deprogramming. Any advice will fall on deaf ears because she has been radicalized and brainwashed. 

You need external help. This is a serious problem. It won't go away by simply asking on a forum or by simply talking to her. She is being resistant because of the extensive brainwashing her system has absorbed. She needs a deep system clean and reprogramming. 

Only an experienced psychologist can handle this situation. You might want to contact your local social services for fraud and mental abuse. Brainwashing is a kind of mental abuse. 

You have to yank her out by being very persistent. Threaten her and tell her that all of this is dangerous and everyone is at risk. Be very persistent and persuasive that she give up this. 

Call the police or law enforcement and find the  contact of that spiritual healer and inform that healer to authorities. 20K is a crime for any psychic even by law enforcement standards, healers cannot simply demand that kind of money, there are rules around this. 

Transfer her monetary assets temporarily to yourself and see if you can give her money for basic expenses. 

Get in touch with your relatives and explain them about financial losses and get hold of the financial situation and don't let her spend anymore. 

I wish there were better Stronger rules for this type of situations. It sucks really. 

She needs to be controlled by external mechanism because she has lost her own sense of control. 

Take this thing ultra seriously and put in alll sorts of strategies and get her out of this weird nonsense before it's too late. 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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Yeah.... well, unfortunately her mind seems far gone. And after losing all that money and time she will feel really bad admitting any wrong-doing or error. Her mind will try to rationalize all that away by doubling down on the conspiracy theories and woo.

There's no easy solution. My videos would just hurt her.

Even I can't talk my Mom out of some of the dumb conspiracy theories she's imbibed from YT. There is no reliable cure for a closed mind.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Posted (edited)

@Leo Gura don't you  have social services facilities to deal with these kind of issues in your country. It seems brainwashing, Qanon, radicalization, conspiracy theorization and related issues have been on a rapid rise in your country and other countries as well. 

What is the American Government doing about this? Why no action? 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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Just now, Preety_India said:

don't you  have social services facilities to deal with these kind of issues in your country.

Lol


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Posted (edited)

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Lol

What I mean social services can do some sort of supervision and temporary deprogramming and arresting people who are running such conspiracy scams. 

This is a growing social malaise. 

The government will need to employ large number of psychologists for temporary free deprogramming of victims and gullible folks.. 

It comes under the category of psychological manipulation. 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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Posted (edited)

53 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Take her to a psychologist or a therapist. She needs deprogramming. Any advice will fall on deaf ears because she has been radicalized and brainwashed. 

The irony is that she believes she has been "deprogrammed" and is pretty distrustful of the whole traditional medical system. I know she's been to therapy and counseling before but I sincerely doubt she'd talk through stuff like spending $20k on a healer. I agree she needs someone she trusts to really get through to her, but I don't know who that'd be. The problem is she gave all the money to this person willingly, it was only after all the healing sessions that she realized what had happened. If I had any idea who this person was I would try to do something to warn other people, but the only way I could get that information is by confronting my mom which would not go well. I could maybe talk to my grandparents about it, problem is I'm fairly certain they're also deluded and it would only create more family drama. In fact, they helped her do another exorcism at their church a couple months back.

 

38 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

There is no reliable cure for a closed mind.

It's so frustrating that people who believe these sorts of things think that their minds are open and take other people's negative, "close-minded" reactions to their dumb ideas as validation. I have no idea how you talk a person out of that paradigm. How do you help a person discern between having a truly open mind and a mind that just thinks it's open because it believes in some crazy fairytale?

 

 

Edited by perrywinkle

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15 minutes ago, perrywinkle said:

The irony is that she believes she has been "deprogrammed" and is pretty distrustful of the whole traditional medical system. I know she's been to therapy and counseling before but I sincerely doubt she'd talk through stuff like spending $20k on a healer. I agree she needs someone she trusts to really get through to her, but I don't know who that'd be. The problem is she gave all the money to this person willingly, it was only after all the healing sessions that she realized what had happened. If I had any idea who this person was I would try to do something to warn other people, but the only way I could get that information is by confronting my mom which would not go well. I could maybe talk to my grandparents about it, problem is I'm fairly certain they're also deluded and it would only create more family drama. In fact, they helped her do another exorcism at their church a couple months back.

Whats the worst that she will do? 

Maybe she won't talk to you for some time. She won't be able to carry this drama for too long. 

Confront the fuck out of her aggressively.. 

Get her to admit and be persistent and keep chasing her. Tell her this is not okay. 

Family drama or no family drama. Don't give up. Go after her till she does some Introspection and self reflection.

Show her, her bias. 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Confront the fuck out of her aggressively.. 

Get her to admit and be persistent and keep chasing her. Tell her this is not okay.

I don't know about being aggressive but the truth will need to bubble up eventually. I think getting her to admit some of these things out loud (ideally to sane people other than her children) would help.

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7 minutes ago, Droo_ said:

put psychs in her coffee

They'd just amplify her delusion. She's done a lot of psychs actually.

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1 hour ago, perrywinkle said:

It's so frustrating that people who believe these sorts of things think that their minds are open and take other people's negative, "close-minded" reactions to their dumb ideas as validation. I have no idea how you talk a person out of that paradigm. How do you help a person discern between having a truly open mind and a mind that just thinks it's open because it believes in some crazy fairytale?

If you're serious, there is a book called How To Have Impossible Conversations.

I also have books on my book list about cults and cult deprogramming techniques.

Basically your mom is falling into New Age cult-like thinking.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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This issue isn't going to be solved without some tough deprogramming. 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

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🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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If a psychic healer does not teach how to heal themselves, like i did, then only by pushing healing into someone, does not work, caution. Not in the long run, because the healer gets tired if the people in need are not trained in this. 


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20 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

If you're serious, there is a book called How To Have Impossible Conversations

I will look into it, thanks.

10 minutes ago, Goldzilla said:

If a psychic healer does not teach how to heal themselves, like i did, then only by pushing healing into someone, does not work, caution.

True, if a psychic healer does not teach one how to heal themselves they are not a true healer.

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1 hour ago, perrywinkle said:

if a psychic healer does not teach one how to heal themselves they are not a true healer.

This is silly.

If you got a genuine healer, those siddhis are going to be very rare and inaccessible to most humans.

That's like asking your brain surgeon to teach you how to do your own surgeries. That's not the function of a brain surgeon.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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22 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

This is silly.

If you got a genuine healer, those siddhis are going to be very rare and inaccessible to most humans.

That's like asking your brain surgeon to teach you how to do your own surgeries. That's not the function of a brain surgeon.

I wholeheartedly agree. 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. 

Quick access to journal entries

🍒☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️Periwinkle 🌸

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@perrywinkle I suggest you get her a copy of Spiritual Enlightenment The Damnedest Thing by Jed McKenna. It does a wonderful job showing your own spiritual bullshit and the nonsense of the new age spiritual beliefs, while at the same time clarifying what real spirituality is all about, she needs to be ready to read it and understand what it says, and that's a whole other matter. You could read it first, if you haven't done already, and then decide if it could help her. 

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23 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

This is silly.

If you got a genuine healer, those siddhis are going to be very rare and inaccessible to most humans.

That's like asking your brain surgeon to teach you how to do your own surgeries. That's not the function of a brain surgeon.

Correct me if I'm wrong-I think users @Goldzilla @perrywinkle  were referring to healing in the context of things likei reiki or something similar, because it's about dealing with your emotional and mental insecurities. I.e, you learn to heal your own emotional wounds. If you're talking about siddhi type of healing that requires understanding of the subtle body or some sort then yeah...of course not.

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It is her journey. 

I would be there for her when she needs, look and treat her with love and compassion. 

The best way to show her anything is living a great life full pf physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being so she will be the one asking you what you are doing and how you are doing it.

Be careful not to get into a co-dependent trap where her addiction will make you a rescuer.  

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