B_HAZ

Dating a suicidal person

58 posts in this topic

Yes or no ? Advice 

This person said I've helped him a lot and he stoped having suicidal thoughts ( but still have his downs )

We love each other allot but I don't want let my emotions blinds me to do whats right for me

I don't know what to do .. should I leave?

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Posted (edited)

@AriSujan But what If I impacted this person in a good way and helped him seek help and fix himself 

I know I can't fix anyone and I don't want to fix him too but he said that I inspired him to work on himself 

Do you think this is passible or he will just depend on me and he's telling me this just to convince me to enter a relationship with him 

Edited by B_HAZ

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What is your emotional state like? 
It takes a lot of emotional strength to be strong for someone else without loosing yourself.  Or this can be recipe for a co dependant relationship. 
You can totally give love to this person and it’s true that genuine love can bring someone out of the darkness.  But you need to still put yourself first and have strong boundaries in place.  
Just be wary of getting in a situation where you are the light in their life and they feel they can’t live without you.  
If you are committed to them and want to make it work together then you can try. 
 

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40 minutes ago, B_HAZ said:

@AriSujan But what If I impacted this person in a good way and helped him seek help and fix himself 

I know I can't fix anyone and I don't want to fix him too but he said that I inspired him to work on himself 

Do you think this is passible or he will just depend on me and he's telling me this just to convince me to enter a relationship with him 

Take your time and think this through with a calm mind.

Both of these scenarios are possible. You having inspired him is a great thing that connects the two of you.

This could turn into some sort of dependency, but it does not have to become one.

What if you told him about your concerns? If he is a good guy he will listen to you and try to understand it.

Do what feels right to you, if you feel its right to enter a relationship with him, by all means do it.

If you are scared that it might be an in the moment feeling, you could just wait a little bit and see how things develop.

There is no need to rush anything here, take your time, take a deep breath, and try to look at this situation when you are calm and collected.

 

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On 8/20/2021 at 4:08 PM, Tangerinedream said:

What is your emotional state like? 
It takes a lot of emotional strength to be strong for someone else without loosing yourself.  Or this can be recipe for a co dependant relationship. 
You can totally give love to this person and it’s true that genuine love can bring someone out of the darkness.  But you need to still put yourself first and have strong boundaries in place.  
Just be wary of getting in a situation where you are the light in their life and they feel they can’t live without you.  
If you are committed to them and want to make it work together then you can try. 
 

No I don't think I have that yet : ( 

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On 8/20/2021 at 3:50 AM, B_HAZ said:

I don't know what to do .. should I leave?

You love him right? Is the relationship great? If yes then I don't see why you should leave.

Do what you can within reason, but remember to set the boundary it's not on you to be his only support or solve the problem. Make sure he is getting professional help like therapy and consulting about what medication he needs to take.


"Never held a high regard for Darwin, selection takes too long.
A little kick in the pool shouldn't do us wrong.
Devouring the very last invention man would ever need.
But exponential growth is a frightening thing, indeed.
"

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Huge red flag.

A suicidal person should not be dating, he should be sorting out his mind and life.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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7 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Huge red flag.

A suicidal person should not be dating, he should be sorting out his mind and life.

As though you were never suicidal. 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

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   I would not date such people, and generally avoid these types as it's  very likely the relationship will be co dependent, and suggest to get some help. If a current short term gf/bf relationship, I would give some emotional support, but still keep context sensitive and beware of emotional manipulation, especially if said partner is not selfish enough to be independent in their own life at least. This is why boundaries are helpful, as they signal that you can axe the relationship if they don't respect you and the relationship enough to change for the beter. And if and when you decide to end the relationship, don't feel too guilty, there's plenty people out there to get to know.

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2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

As though you were never suicidal.

Don't compare me to a suicidal noob.

I'm what is called a professional.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Posted (edited)

9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't compare me to a suicidal noob.

Even a suicidal noob can be in a relationship. They can seek therapy later. They can find love. 

Everyone deserves love, tall, short, thin, fat, beautiful, ugly, normal, manic, sweet, angry, optimistic, suicidal,alpha, beta, sigma, poor, rich, young, old, stage red, blue, purple, Turquoise, small dick, big dick, introvert, extrovert, intelligent, dummy.. 

That's called being a God. Show your Godness Leo Sir! 

 

Even the tiny nail on your pinky toe deserves love. 

An Omnipotent God loves every flaw of your body and mind and never forsakes you of rich love. 

You deserve love and everyone deserves love as much as you do. 

We are all one, born of One Cell

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

Quick access to journal entries

 

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12 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't compare me to a suicidal noob.

I'm what is called a professional.

No you're God in that department. 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

Quick access to journal entries

 

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42 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't compare me to a suicidal noob.

I'm what is called a professional.

truly one of the more assholish things you’ve said. I’m disappointed in you, Leo — no one who’s suicidal decides to be voluntarily, you of all people would understand if you chose compassion over judgement in this case

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I was not talking about a person who becomes suicidal within a old established relationship. I was talking about starting to date a suicidal person. That is a no-no if you value your sanity.

If you're cool with dating suicidal people, well, why not a psychopath while you're at it? Psychos need love as much as the next guy.

Be ware the trap of idiot compassion.

In the end I don't care who you date. I was just looking out for you. If you want to stick your head in the jaws of an alligator, be my guest.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

Even a suicidal noob can be in a relationship. They can seek therapy later. They can find love. 

Everyone deserves love, tall, short, thin, fat, beautiful, ugly, normal, manic, sweet, angry, optimistic, suicidal,alpha, beta, sigma, poor, rich, young, old, stage red, blue, purple, Turquoise, small dick, big dick, introvert, extrovert, intelligent, dummy.. 

That's called being a God. Show your Godness Leo Sir! 

 

Even the tiny nail on your pinky toe deserves love. 

An Omnipotent God loves every flaw of your body and mind and never forsakes you of rich love. 

You deserve love and everyone deserves love as much as you do. 

We are all one, born of One Cell

 

I honestly agree with Leo, a deeply suicidal person should not date.

If i was in a relationship at my worst times it would have turned into a toxic clusterfuck.

No amount of patience from the other person would have helped, especially because i was stubborn as hell.

I never wanted help, i always wanted to do things on my own.

Can you see how that would create immense problems in a relationship?

 

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@Marcel  I'm not so analytical. I'm a dreamer. 

I don't judge a suicidal person.

I have been there. I know what it's like. 

Even idiot compassion is compassion. Even idiot compassion is Love 

 

 


 INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

Quick access to journal entries

 

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@Preety_India

This is not about judgement.

This is about the fact that i pushed everybody far away from me, nobody was able to get close to me.

I refused all help and support and craved it at the same time.

There was a constant tug of war in my head, and any relationship would have turned toxic over time, especially when you now also factor in that i had terrible coping mechanisms and massive anger issues that i did not have under control whatsoever back then.

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