Myioko

'girls' vs 'women'

38 posts in this topic

What are your thoughts on using the word girl vs woman?

 

Sometime in my early 20s I found myself awkwardly flipping between the two words. Whereas with men in general I tend to use the word 'guy' as a default, but there isn't a word like 'guy' for girls. 

I also don't like the sound of the word 'female' for some reason, like it sounds much more alien to me, even compared to the word 'male' to me lol. And I don't use the terms young woman or young man because I don't like how that sounds either, even if it's technically correct.

If a women in her 20s is either super young looking, or very young or childish acting, my mind might automatically think of her as 'girl'. But with any women in her late 20s or early 30s I think the word girl sounds very out of place, with even sexist undertones at times if it's coming from men in their 30s and up. I hardly ever hear people calling men in their mid 20s 'boy'. 

Also terms seem to change over time. When I watch vintage tv clips or music videos, if I remember right, it seems like the usage of the word 'girls and boys' for adults in the 1920s and 1950s was more common, and in dance videos especially the popular culture seemed to be to give off a playful/youthful vibe. 

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15 minutes ago, Myioko said:

but there isn't a word like 'guy' for girls. 

Ladies & Gals -_-

15 minutes ago, Myioko said:

I also don't like the sound of the word 'female' for some reason, like it sounds much more alien to me, even compared to the word 'male' to me lol. And I don't use the terms young woman or young man because I don't like how that sounds either, even if it's technically correct.

If a women in her 20s is either super young looking, or very young or childish acting, my mind might automatically think of her as 'girl'. But with any women in her late 20s or early 30s I think the word girl sounds very out of place, with even sexist undertones at times if it's coming from men in their 30s and up. I hardly ever hear people calling men in their mid 20s 'boy'. 

Agreed...

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Let's call 'em dames ;)


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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You can call us Lay-DEES (*said in Bill Burr's voice*)

 

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Posted (edited)

I have absolutely no problem with women being called girls. 

I could walk up to a 50 year old woman and say - you go girl.

Whats up with making a big deal out of it? 

American Feminism Oh My God. I will never get it. They even have a problem if a guy opens the door for them

 

First world problems I guess. Sigh. 

American women find everything sexist, saying it straight up. 

 

This creates problems for women all around the world. Real feminists all around the globe, especially in third world are never taken seriously because of the stupid demands made by American feminists. 

We all get lumped in the same bunch. Btw I don't think I have ever agreed with American feminists, rarely if ever. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

I'm a leftist liberal SJW. INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

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5 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

American Feminism Oh My God.

You and the Taliban got something to agree on now ;)


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Posted (edited)

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You and the Taliban got something to agree on now ;)

Holy fuck!  I'm proud. 

Read the whole thing. I am not Taliban if I find first world problems stoooooooooopid. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

I'm a leftist liberal SJW. INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

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Posted (edited)

@Leo Gura to clue you in, we got real problems like rape for example!!!! 

Ok I got a brilliant idea for you. Let's not call them dames. Let's call them men. Problem solved. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

I'm a leftist liberal SJW. INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

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Posted (edited)

2 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

Ladies & Gals -_-

 

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Let's call 'em dames ;)

I guess m'lady will have to do

1 hour ago, somegirl said:

You can call us Lay-DEES (*said in Bill Burr's voice*)

LAYYDeeee 

I wondered if this was an edit of some kind but I think it's just him pulling the mic away whenever he says 'ladiees' 

 

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

This creates problems for women all around the world. Real feminists all around the globe, especially in third world are never taken seriously because of the stupid demands made by American feminists. 

Do you view political correctness type stuff as more 'icing on the cake' or not important compared to the cake? (if the cake were a problem, an anti-cake I guess heh) What kind of feminist third world problems do you think aren't being taken seriously? 

I was thinking more along the lines of 'oh this is awkward, what do I call 20 year old women, woman or girl?' So awkwardness isn't a problem in my mind, just an acknowledgment that it is awkward and that there isn't a same casual word like 'guy' for women as there is for men, so calling a 20 year old female either girl or women sometimes has an out of place feel, like there isn't the right word in the English language to call someone that age. I might just be over thinking or wondering about it. But yeah the second thing I had on mind, was wondering if there is a subtle underlying infantilizing or whatever thoughts behind men calling women girls. I don't compare that to being anything near or level to an actual real life consequence problem  like rape though.

Edited by Myioko

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Posted (edited)

43 minutes ago, Myioko said:

 

I guess m'lady will have to do

LAYYDeeee 

 

Do you view political correctness type stuff as more 'icing on the cake' or not important compared to the cake? (if the cake were a problem, an anti-cake I guess heh) What kind of feminist third world problems do you think aren't being taken seriously? 

I was thinking more along the lines of 'oh this is awkward, what do I call 20 year old women, woman or girl?' So awkwardness isn't a problem in my mind, just an acknowledgment that it is awkward and that there isn't a same casual word like 'guy' for women as there is for men. But yeah the second thing I had on mind, was wondering if there is a subtle underlying infantilizing or whatever thoughts behind men calling women girls. I wouldn't compare that to being anything near an actual real life consequence problem to like rape though.

I don't feel infantilized by the word girl. I'm not so hyper insecure to dig a whole negative meaning in every little thing. (that most American women do, just my opinion). If I get so frustrated by an American woman's behavior, just imagine a man's frustration. 

American women started the #metoo movement. 

Not wanting to stereotype, but a lot of This American feminist attitude resembles my mother, who I absolutely do not get along with, and my femininity is more of the docile type and her femininity is more of the "I'm a woman" type. It reminds me of the American Karen Meme. It's very annoying to deal with. 

So with the #metoo movement there was also a bunch of false rape allegations or things that simply didn't add up, for example Rose McGowan standing stark naked next to Harvey Weinstein. And then claiming rape. 

The problem is some American women have what they call "regret sex" which they turn later into a rape accusation to cry victim because Victimhood sells at a huge price in American culture. Cry a victim and you get a dollar

 

This culture harms real rape victims around the world, who are actual and legit rape victims and not simply women milking an opportunity of regret sex to write books and make money(typical stage Orange crap, where a woman sleeps with a man for money and later claims rape). 

Most of American stuff appears fake as hell. 

Because of false victims, real victims are constantly questioned or not believed. 

Western Feminism especially and especially American Feminism is mocked and ridiculed in the media and for legit reasons because they constantly bicker and whine about problems that don't look like real problems.. Like they have a problem If a man is wearing a shirt with bikini prints on it. 

The consequence of this frivolous Karen culture is that it has a ripple effect across the globe, it travels to third world countries and men in these countries take advantage of it  to shame Real feminists who are actually working on serious issues like women's health, women's rights and rape and domestic violence and oppression, stuff that American women don't have to worry too much about, because look what they talk about. 

So excuse me, American feminists aren't doing any favor to real women in the world. In fact they do more harm, just like America did more harm to Afghanistan by replacing Taliban with Taliban. :P

It would be helpful if American women talked more about women's rights, rape and security issues (oh wait they already have all that solved I guess), then lament about how a man is not splitting the bill. 

Another sentiment found in American women is that they consider women from other countries "inferior" or "underdeveloped" because we aren't as feminist as they are. 

Well let me tell you that I'm proud of my femininity and I don't need an American woman to dictate me on how to be a woman!!! I'm quite comfortable in my feminine skin. 

I remember an incident a few years ago while I was living in America with my American boyfriend and I told an American girl that - "I belong to him" and she instantly took offense and told me to grow up. I was like - what?? How was i wrong if I said I belong to my husband or boyfriend. He belongs to me too. It's a mutual Belongingness that I'm proud of. Apparently the American girl took it as me being a slave to my man. Well I wasn't meaning that at all. A simple beautiful comment that I made was twisted to mean such a horrible negative thing. Sorry but Americans have a narcissistic "all me me me" and a "whine culture" where nothing is ever enough for them because they feel so entitled to even the littlest things, it looks overwhelmingly poor and crass and unempathetic when there are millions of people hungry around the world and Americans get to complain about how their frozen pizza (like make your own damn food then, you even got the kitchen!). 

My ex American boyfriend used to complain about literally everything under the sun from pizza to a broken $2 dollar weed pipe when I spent days hungry and beaten up by my family and I was supposed to have empathy for his problems. It's sickening. Sickening how the whole world is supposed to feel sorry for America because it's God's own country (as per Bush). 

Look at Biden. He goes on and on about how Americans trapped in Afghanistan need to flown in over and how they must be rescued immediately and at all costs. So only American lives matter huh? What about all the Afghan civilians who died in this stupid botched bullshit that America did. 

There's a saying - man proposes, God disposes. 

It should be - America proposes. World disposes. 

Maybe I'm just rambling but this thread reminded me of what's wrong with America all over again. 

Instead of telling the whole world to grow up, why shouldn't Americans take their own advice they dish out so freely to the rest of the planet. 

Sorry for the rambling, but I shouldn't be blamed for the resentment in the tide of recent events. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

I'm a leftist liberal SJW. INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

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Posted (edited)

In my culture, "girl" is a word that refers to a virgin female. Otherwise, she's a "woman".

Some people use different words for practical pragmatic purposes. Others just get offended by everything, and if they don't get offended enough, they try harder lol.

Edited by Gesundheit2

Have faith.

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Posted (edited)

6 hours ago, Preety_India said:

I don't feel infantilized by the word girl. I'm not so hyper insecure to dig a whole negative meaning in every little thing. (that most American women do, just my opinion).

Each to their own I guess. I'm pretty neutral about being called girl, but occasionally it will rub me the wrong way depending on context or tone of voice. Hmm maybe why sometimes things like people calling me 'aw your so cute' 'but your so young' and sometimes 'girl', annoys me at times is because I have such a baby face/young looking face, along with having a young naive sounding Christian-girl accented voice, and also being asexual and sexually clueless which is attributed to being innocent and naive, so I'm used to people especially strangers treating me like a kid or not taking me seriously, and that gets old over time

6 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Most of American stuff appears fake as hell. 

Yeahh...

6 hours ago, Preety_India said:

it travels to third world countries and men in these countries take advantage of it  to shame Real feminists who are actually working on serious issues like women's health, women's rights and rape and domestic violence and oppression, stuff that American women don't have to worry too much about,

Oh ok. It's a shame that any sort of movement gets ridiculed for it's radical cringe outliers, and then others use that to point a finger at it. Like with the black lives matter movement, a lot of people I knew were against it because they thought there were ridiculous aspects of it such as burning down buildings, or the organization being corrupt, but then they over look the more important core meaning of the movement. So with different cultures, that gap of misunderstanding and disconnect can be much larger

6 hours ago, Preety_India said:

I remember an incident a few years ago while I was living in America with my American boyfriend and I told an American girl that - "I belong to him" and she instantly took offense and told me to grow up. I was like - what?? How was i wrong if I said I belong to my husband or boyfriend. He belongs to me too. It's a mutual Belongingness that I'm proud of

That's a good point of judgyness/culture misunderstanding, America is really strong on it's individualistic success mindset that it can be hard for other Americans to not understand that

I think anyone who's been abused or been treated especially neglectfully or unfairly, which is most people around the world, has good reason to be angry and want change. I remember watching a documentary a couple of years ago about a city or town that kept getting its water taken away to be packaged in plastic water bottles from a large company, while the people of the town were dying of lack of water themselves, and the whole situation was absolutely awful, frustrating and inhumane 

Maybe a separate thread on the different types of feminism would be a good thread to make and debate. I remember on the book resource section of this forum, a few people wrote down feminist book recommendations, I might check them out some time. 

1 hour ago, AtheisticNonduality said:

Do you say girlfriend or womanfriend? Which one of those sounds more normal to you?

Girlfriend/boyfriend sounds normal to me up until precisely the age of 33, and then after that the English language yet again fails me!!

Also I know girlfriend is sometimes used as the word 'girl friend' in the meaning of just a friend, but that's much less common now I think, I usually hear it said from women above the age of 50, saying 'my girlfriends and I..'

56 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

In my culture, "girl" is a word that refers to a virgin female. Otherwise, she's a "woman".

Oh interesting. That reminds me of the terms Ms vs Mrs, not being married vs being married, but it's more formal and official. 

Edited by Myioko

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9 minutes ago, Myioko said:

Each to their own I guess. I'm pretty neutral about being called girl, but occasionally it will rub me the wrong way depending on context or tone of voice. Hmm maybe why sometimes things like people calling me 'aw your so cute' 'but your so young' and sometimes 'girl', annoys me at times is because I have such a baby face/young looking face, along with having a young naive sounding Christian-girl accented voice, and also being asexual and sexually clueless which is attributed to being innocent and naive, so I'm used to people especially strangers treating me like a kid or not taking me seriously, and that gets old over timeYeahh...

In that case, you're looking for the word "respect." Respect is earned only when you appear strict, enforce strict boundaries, talk assertively and forcefully (instead of the naive girl voice /accent), and show that you value yourself. Try being a bit upbeat and confrontational meanwhile keeping it respectful. It wouldn't really matter if someone called you a girl or a woman as long as they're being respectful of your presence. Inner intent /attitude is more important than merely words. 

I apologize for the overly resentful tone I used before, my head was all in the Afghanistan thing and anger towards America. 


I'm a leftist liberal SJW. INFJ-T loner... .shy girl..@marcel :x.............My name is Hannu. I'm reserved and shy and introverted and sensitive girl. Please be careful about how you talk to me. Only responds to respectful vibes. ✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

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48 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

In that case, you're looking for the word "respect."

I do like to view life with respect and dignity

49 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Respect is earned only when you appear strict, enforce strict boundaries, talk assertively and forcefully (instead of the naive girl voice /accent),

I haven't thought about it quite in that way before in relationship to respect, mostly I focus on respecting myself and less on how I appear towards others, but boundary setting and talking more assertively is something that I do need to practice. I remember you wrote out a list of 'integrating the masculine side' points on one of your journals and that was a good list

55 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I apologize for the overly resentful tone I used before, my head was all in the Afghanistan thing and anger towards America.

That's totally understandable, a lot of shit and negative things has been going on in those areas

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Damefriend ;)


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Posted (edited)

This just popped into my head, with the word LADIESS stuck in my head: The deemed 'male douche bag' song from Hamilton, after second 30

 

And going back to the thought of political correctness, I think if this song was made now it would have sparked some controversy. I think the only part of the song where I thought 'wait wtf?' was when he patted her on the head...like, wut? But besides not understanding what that was about I like this song

 

Edited by Myioko

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I simply call them girls regardless of age and maturity.

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I always use "girl" as much as I can even for a female like in her 30s.

I can see some of milfs smiling after me calling them girl. they like it. coz it has damn fresh vibe into it! 

women hate getting older more than anything. imagine a girl is 29 years old has already lots of stress making transition to a new phase of 30s. ?


"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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