Suicidal Thoughts

[Preety_India]

10 minutes ago, Marcel said:

I am walking for half an hour every morning after I wake up nowadays.

You’re right, it does help a lot.

Awesome! 

[flume]

By being honest about your situation, you've already won half the battle. 

In terms of short term help, relax your body as much as you can, take deep breaths and treat yourself to something you really love. A new record, a bath, something that gets you out of your head a bit. Break the cycle of thinking by taking a walk or watching a movie. Dance like a crazy person to your favourite music. Also, talk to someone. Anyone. About anything. Get dialoging a bit, it will help you get unstuck. If you don't know with whom you could talk, I know @Nahm always has an open door/ ear 

Book recommendations: "Healing The Shame That Binds You" by John Bradshaw is great apparently, also "The Primal Wound" by John Firman. I can't vouch for these personally, but people I trust very much swear they're great.

For more long-term solutions, I've just done a Primal Childhood deconditioning retreat. It digs deep into your childhood, into where patterns of shame and unworthiness come from and how they're holding you back in life. I can wholeheartedly recommend it. I saw you're from Germany. There are retreats all over central Europe quite regularly.

Taking MDMA with a trusted friend in a safe space also helped me realise and unleash a lot of the confusion I carried around. If you do that though, make sure the dosage isn't too high and that the drug is tested and clean. This should be taken seriously.

Daily meditation is key and probably the most worthwhile thing you can do out of all of them. All the healing will come by itself, you just need to create the space to let it in.

All the best!

[Preety_India]

You'll be alright. Just walk around a bit more. It will be ok

 

[Gregory1]

8 hours ago, flume said:

take deep breaths

Actually wrong advice. Breaths shouldn't be deep, breathing should happen through nose, low frequency, not to much air, fully exhale. Also tape your mouth shut while you sleep to ensure that you're breathing through your nose at night. It helps a ton. 

Implementing this simple advice helps guys, thank me later! 

For further inquiry I can recommend James Nestor's book 'breath', must read for anyone who wants good health. 

Also, here is a quality topic on the forum about the subject:

 

Edited August 24, 2021 by Gregory1

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Gregory1 said:

For further inquiry I can recommend James Nestor's book 'breath', must read for anyone who wants good health. 

That seems to be great. I'll look into that book. 

[Marcel]

On 24.8.2021 at 2:02 AM, Mesopotamian said:

@Marcel

I found out running for 10 minutes, three times a week, really have magical effect on my depression. I'm thinking of running tomorrow cuz right now I also feel very depressed and I was contemplating my suicide

I feel you.

Movement is healing.

I walk about 30 minutes after waking up every morning.

Also i work out 3-4 times a week.

It does have quite a positive effect on my mental state.

[roopepa]

Where do you think these suicidal thoughts and depression comes from? Do you think you may have some trauma or something like that?

I've found it helpful to just open a laptop and write down, or "out", my thoughts and feelings. It's like vomiting through your fingers and "emptying" the mind so that better thoughts have room to come in.

[Marcel]

@flume

thank you for all of your suggestions.

I already feel way better.

I just sometimes have these episodes that last one or two days.

It does not happen very often nowadays.

But as you might imagine, they are still pretty heavy to deal with.

[Marcel]

3 hours ago, roopepa said:

Where do you think these suicidal thoughts and depression comes from? Do you think you may have some trauma or something like that?

I've found it helpful to just open a laptop and write down, or "out", my thoughts and feelings. It's like vomiting through your fingers and "emptying" the mind so that better thoughts have room to come in.

I started doing exactly that lately.

I went into detail about everything i had on my mind.

I talk about my past, depression, suicide attempts and gender identity in there.

Also some sexual phantasies and fetishes of mine.

It is quite personal.

I tried to open myself up completely.