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Vrubel

The inherit neediness in day game

62 posts in this topic

@RendHeaven

Yeah but I'm not talking about a guy who's going about his day, sees a pretty girl and confidently decides to approach her. That's fine. Nothing wrong with that.


I'm talking about a guy who chooses to go to a specific place at a specific time of the day with the sole intention of waiting for a pretty girl to walk by so he can approach her. I don't think the thought of doing that would ever cross the mind of someone who already has abundance, he probably has better things to do ;).

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If you do it right, there is nothing needy in approaching women. You are an abundant man, who has no fear of talking to women who are interesting to you. You have no fear of rejection but go for what you want. You are a free man who loves women and can be open and vulnerable about that. You are not hurt if women reject you and can accept/understand that. Thats the right frame and if you can project that, you wont come off as needy.

Sure sometimes some people will be judging you for what you do, but thats the cost if doing things that are not what the herd does.

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Posted (edited)

@Vrubel why do men game? As a woman it just seems so alien to me.... O.o

Is it purely to have sex with women? Like, that's the only end game, just to fuck? And then... they've what, one some biological game?

 

Edited by Esilda

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On 8/11/2021 at 2:32 AM, Vrubel said:

Since this spring I started approaching women in the streets. A huge motivating factor was that I thought of myself as a very attractive guy. Like before I knew about even the existence of the possibility that you can approach a woman on the street, I would get a lot of attention from girls when I was simply walking and running errands in the city. Girl's heads would turn, they'll look straight into my eyes, often being all feminine and bewildered, sometimes smiling and even glowing. 

Hot girl would feel my presence even before I turn the corner and they actually saw me. These "magical" moments of attraction were very common for me.

The very reason girls were so intrigued by me was because I had a very secure, strong and even spiritual energetic presence. (I am short and not that good-looking).
But now that I started approaching women in the streets there is none of that magic. Women don't look at me when I am doing "sets" and the only result that I got so far was a few dates with just barely-average-looking girls. Nothing more. 

I feel it's because doing day-game and scouting out girls to approach is an inherently needy activity. The paradox is of course that when you cannot care less about girls you will get a lot of attention from them but when you are doing an activity that involves actively scouting and approaching girls you will stop existing for them. There is inherent neediness and the power balance advantage is with the girl.

Is there a way to be energetically secure/strong and still actively seek out women and approach?

 

Yep!


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2 hours ago, Esilda said:

@Vrubel why do men game? As a woman it just seems so alien to me.... O.o

Seems a bit alien to me too, and I'm a guy. Though I was never the most well-adjusted guy in the world, to be fair, so I'm probably not best-placed to comment. Just seems empty to me now though, I think I've always wanted something deeper than casual sex (although I could get plenty horny too, I'm not going to pretend otherwise).


'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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2 hours ago, Esilda said:

@Vrubel why do men game? As a woman it just seems so alien to me.... O.o

Is it purely to have sex with women? Like, that's the only end game, just to fuck? And then... they've what, one some biological game?

 

I think the actual sex is only part of it.

For a lot of us guys, there is a big aspect of validation that can come into it. If you “successfully” pick up a lot of girls, you feel better about yourself. Because that is what is cool and shows you are a desirable man.

I remember even back in middle school, it was the guys who were “good with girls” who were respected by other guys and seemed to have the most friends. If girls didn’t like you and didn’t want to hook up with you, then you were a loser and labeled as such. And then through high school and college that only escalated.

I’m not saying that’s a healthy way of thinking. But it is a pattern I’ve observed.


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Posted (edited)

Introverted men have to learn to approach women because if they don’t they will die alone.  Now do you understand?

Edited by Jodistrict

Vincit omnia Veritas.

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2 hours ago, RickyFitts said:

Seems a bit alien to me too, and I'm a guy. Though I was never the most well-adjusted guy in the world, to be fair, so I'm probably not best-placed to comment. Just seems empty to me now though, I think I've always wanted something deeper than casual sex (although I could get plenty horny too, I'm not going to pretend otherwise).

YEAH ITS NASTY! :P 

1 hour ago, aurum said:

I think the actual sex is only part of it.

For a lot of us guys, there is a big aspect of validation that can come into it. If you “successfully” pick up a lot of girls, you feel better about yourself. Because that is what is cool and shows you are a desirable man.

I remember even back in middle school, it was the guys who were “good with girls” who were respected by other guys and seemed to have the most friends. If girls didn’t like you and didn’t want to hook up with you, then you were a loser and labeled as such. And then through high school and college that only escalated.

I’m not saying that’s a healthy way of thinking. But it is a pattern I’ve observed.

We created stories about how we're meant to love each other and those stories turned out to be wrong but because most of us don't know it we still hold each other accountable for how many women we've slept with and banged (my sense of humour O.oo.OB|:P:S:ph34r:)xDxDxDxD

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@Esilda

I never quite understood it either, i guess its a good skill set to have in order to build up confidence and being comfortable to approach and interact with women or whatever.

If somebody is into having many different sexual partners and is specifically looking for a lot of sexual experiences, then this may just be the right course of action, but for someone like me for example, who feels very odd just thinking about sleeping with somebody i am not in a relationship and or have an emotional bond with, it seems very superficial and not worth pursuing at all.

But then again, i as a man, have never tried it out, so its theory vs. direct experience for me here, so in the end. what the hell do i know`?

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Posted (edited)

17 hours ago, Esilda said:

@Vrubel why do men game? As a woman it just seems so alien to me.... O.o

Is it purely to have sex with women? Like, that's the only end game, just to fuck? And then... they've what, one some biological game?

 

@Esilda I love that you brought this up because this is typical of how most women think about game. Notice the tacit virtue-signaling and disgust you have for game. I am not judging you because this is how 90% of women think about the concept of "game". 

What you don't understand is this:

If you get approached on the streets by a strong, confident, charming good-looking guy you will go home and tell your girlfriends enthusiastically that this very cute boy approached you and you will probably note that he was tall, dark whatever. (even though it was a more unconscious primal or spiritual-energetic aspect that ultimately won you over). 

Now if you get approached by a dark soul loner with poor social calibration your face will shrivel up in disgust and you'll go home and tell your friends that a maniac approached you. You will then reiterate the importance of #metoo and feminism. 

Strong guy = massive survival value for you therefore everything he does "I accept and think is cute". You will yield massively to him.
Dark soul nerdy guy = "Ewwwwwwww. Please get him away from me."  

Of course, these are two extreme examples. But ultimately your biggest problem with game is that it is a seemingly love devoid statistical endeavor and that a "creep" can grow into a stud that you are attracted to. 

As a guy, I think the best thing that "game" teaches me is how to act whenever I meet a girl that is just my type or we are in love. When there is a match like this girls assume everything will be smooth and effortless. But you have no idea how easily an inexperienced guy can ruin a match made in heaven. 

I personally was so inexperienced and insecure that when an absolute tenner fell in love with me there was nothing I could do. I actually broke her heart with my inexperience and insecurity. 

Edited by Vrubel

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Posted (edited)

@Vrubel can u elaborate a bit on how you came to the virtue signaling conclusion? 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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21 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

@Vrubel can u elaborate a bit on how you came to the virtue signaling conclusion? 

The need for sex is something a guy feels on a daily basis in varying intensities. It is a deep biological need that really has the potential to f*ck you up if you don't deal with it properly. So it is crucial that men learn to handle and satisfy this need but at the same time, It is very much so looked down upon if you are honest about actively pursuing women to satisfy this need. Guys want emotional connection too but it is not their priority. 

It is virtue-signaling if you start your spiel about how much you value love and emotional connection and guys that "just" want sex are creeps. The comment was a tacit example of this feminine and societal attidute. That's totally understandable, there is no judgment here. After all, as a society we cannot admit we are horny animals and as men, we cannot explicitly admit that we first and foremost want sex from women. 

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14 hours ago, Esilda said:

YEAH ITS NASTY! :P 

In the immortal words of that great sage Tina Turner, what's love got to do, got to do with it?


'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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don't be obsessed with the mindset of "neediness"

women deep inside know this full well that we have snake and we should feed that snake some meat properly! 

the act of overvaluing her and forgetting your value in the process is a low value neediness not approaching like a king and wanting her to date with ya! 


"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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7 hours ago, Vrubel said:

@Esilda I love that you brought this up because this is typical of how most women think about game. Notice the tacit virtue-signaling and disgust you have for game. I am not judging you because this is how 90% of women think about the concept of "game". 

What you don't understand is this:

If you get approached on the streets by a strong, confident, charming good-looking guy you will go home and tell your girlfriends enthusiastically that this very cute boy approached you and you will probably note that he was tall, dark whatever. (even though it was a more unconscious primal or spiritual-energetic aspect that ultimately won you over). 

Now if you get approached by a dark soul loner with poor social calibration your face will shrivel up in disgust and you'll go home and tell your friends that a maniac approached you. You will then reiterate the importance of #metoo and feminism. 

Strong guy = massive survival value for you therefore everything he does "I accept and think is cute". You will yield massively to him.
Dark soul nerdy guy = "Ewwwwwwww. Please get him away from me."  

Of course, these are two extreme examples. But ultimately your biggest problem with game is that it is a seemingly love devoid statistical endeavor and that a "creep" can grow into a stud that you are attracted to. 

As a guy, I think the best thing that "game" teaches me is how to act whenever I meet a girl that is just my type or we are in love. When there is a match like this girls assume everything will be smooth and effortless. But you have no idea how easily an inexperienced guy can ruin a match made in heaven. 

I personally was so inexperienced and insecure that when an absolute tenner fell in love with me there was nothing I could do. I actually broke her heart with my inexperience and insecurity. 

I am honestly sick of anyone that says "that's virtue signalling" these days, its like a little thing goes off in their head of "this makes this person look good so they must be trying to virtue signal", its really asinine. 

It's really just the relationship between men and women that I'm concerned about, it seems so odd to me that the context around men and women in the 21st century is still centered around sex. 

I don't feel that guys are girls really have the right influences when it comes to sex, like we need to backdate our history and just sort of start again here if we want to have any positive dialogue that puts both sexes in an esteemed view. 

It's a conversation about the person as a person as well, that's what gets me, men are being so triggered these days to put women at the centre of their identity or vice versa, its culturally masochistic to me what these pickup guys do to other guys. 

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Posted (edited)

17 hours ago, Marcel said:

@Esilda

I never quite understood it either, i guess its a good skill set to have in order to build up confidence and being comfortable to approach and interact with women or whatever.

If somebody is into having many different sexual partners and is specifically looking for a lot of sexual experiences, then this may just be the right course of action, but for someone like me for example, who feels very odd just thinking about sleeping with somebody i am not in a relationship and or have an emotional bond with, it seems very superficial and not worth pursuing at all.

But then again, i as a man, have never tried it out, so its theory vs. direct experience for me here, so in the end. what the hell do i know`?

:) 

@RickyFitts LMAO! :D

 

Edited by Esilda

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On 8/12/2021 at 0:40 AM, Yali said:

the cold hard truth

Screen Shot 2021-08-11 at 4.02.00 PM.png

@Yali I'm pretty lucky, yuhahaha ?


"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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2 hours ago, Esilda said:

It's so humiliating being a woman in this regard as well, that the first thought a guys thinking is whether he wants to fuck me or not

This is definitely true, that's evolutionary biology for you. It's harsh. For women and men but in different ways. 

I have by the way no interest in having a "man vs women" discussion. I understand this is your feminine perspective as what I wrote was my masculine perspective. The one is not better than the other.

Your need is first and foremost for romance, intimacy, "decency" and emotional connection. You think of this as a pure angelic wish, this is your rainbows and sunshine. Your most heavenly fantasy. 
A guy wants that too but his biggest priority with women is sex. men equate sex with rainbows and sunshine. His most heavenly fantasy is a harem.

 

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Posted (edited)

@Vrubel these just seem like generalisations to me. Men don't get married just for sex for example and women don't have sex purely for intimacy. I only really go for guys that look like they can connect on a deep level. I have standards around this.

Edited by Esilda

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3 hours ago, Esilda said:

It's so humiliating being a woman in this regard as well, that the first thought a guys thinking is whether he wants to fuck me or not

You can see it as humiliating or just how we're wired but that doesn't mean we are exclusively interested in sex. Physical attractiveness is just what stands out first, but we also value "deeper" (I use quotation marks because that could be seen as a judgement/projection) things as well, especially in a relationship. 

It's not like the only thing we value is if a girl is hot, at least that's not my experience. But to be honest for me it's the first thing that I automatically do: find her attractive or not (and shades of grey in between of course). Attractiveness isn't just looks though, there are plenty of model like women I don't find attractive because they seem fake/artificial. 

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