How does spiral dynamics factor into relationships?

[Esilda]

7 minutes ago, Esilda said:

So I only just started learning about spiral dynamics yesterday but I've been drawing some connections!

To me, it seems like what matters is simply other kinds of strengths vs weaknesses, especially if we consider their past relationship experiences. Many people can stay together simply because they've stayed together for a long time even though they may be incompatible on spiral dynamics for example but because they have that shared history if they both are sentimental they'll put up with each other's differences in as much as that sentimentality isn't broken.

As for two new people, other than obvious areas of compatibility we could look at we just never know what kinds of bonding experiences we could have with people.

Real life bonding experiences (i.e. sexual stuff) are overrated though in my opinion because they can get us to become attached to a person that we're not even that very similar to with the release of brain chemicals that comes from those bonding experiences.

So yeah@Marcel I think so, at least certainly in the short and medium term, for the long term there would be conflicts but there's just so many things that can make us stay in relationships that aren't right for us even though there aren't enough similarities or complementary attributes like within the spiral.

Small disclosure, I really regret my previous long term relationship because of this. I am highly sensitive and emotional, in the end I feel like all the experiences we had together just kept us together. Things were great but the fact remains he cheated on me with one of my friends. He was just not as loyal as me, if I could go back in time and choose someone more loyal with more compatibility and have less exciting experiences I would. The people make the experiences the more mature we are rather than the experiences making the people. This is really interesting though darl I will think about these questions some more ,

[Marcel]

@Esilda

As far as i followed this topic, i gathered that a difference in stages is not necessarily a problem.

1 stage difference can work, ( for example orange and green ) but only if the lower stage is, sooner or later, willing to transcend the stage it is in

If set person is completely stuck in orange and is unwilling to progress, tensions will definitely grow and a break up is basically unavoidable over time.

1 hour ago, Esilda said:

So I only just started learning about spiral dynamics yesterday but I've been drawing some connections!

To me, it seems like what matters is simply other kinds of strengths vs weaknesses, especially if we consider their past relationship experiences. Many people can stay together simply because they've stayed together for a long time even though they may be incompatible on spiral dynamics for example but because they have that shared history if they both are sentimental they'll put up with each other's differences in as much as that sentimentality isn't broken.

 

It will work as long as both parties see more sameness than differences between each other, i completely agree with that.

But as soon as the differences are greater, a rift between the two  to opens and possibly just keeps growing, still fixable of course, but it certainly takes some effort.

[Esilda]

@Marcel