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Preety_India

What are some of the virtues you look for in a guy?

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So ladies(and  men who know what ladies want)...

 

What are some of the virtues you look for in a guy?

I look for

  • Simplicity
  • No egoic behaviour
  • Authenticity

Let me know what you like in a man or what you look for

 


 INFJ loner... .shy girl.. 

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Funny, expressive, likes music, dark hair, likes nature, sociable and easy to get along with 

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Calmness and ability to hear the interlocutor

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Interesting that a good sense of humour's been mentioned a lot, that was probably one of the big things that attracted my girlfriends to me - not sure what it is that's so endearing about it, exactly?


'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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1 minute ago, RickyFitts said:

Interesting that a good sense of humour's been mentioned a lot, that was probably one of the big things that attracted my girlfriends to me - not sure what it is that's so endearing about it, exactly?

Life is hard enough and quite serious most of the time. Ability to laugh at yourself and hard things in your life is priceless because it removes and diminishes stress. And constant stress in our lives makes us less connected to ourselves. So humor in a way is how we can relax, breath out, and reconnect to our light inside. Nothing to strange about it. 

Virtues I look for in a guy in no particular order

- Emotional intelligence 

- Developed feminine side

- Sense of humor

- Caring and protective

- Intelligence

- Mental strength/focus

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3 hours ago, Vzdoh said:

Life is hard enough and quite serious most of the time. Ability to laugh at yourself and hard things in your life is priceless because it removes and diminishes stress. And constant stress in our lives makes us less connected to ourselves. So humor in a way is how we can relax, breath out, and reconnect to our light inside. Nothing to strange about it. 

True enough, nicely said :)


'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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5 hours ago, Vzdoh said:

- Emotional intelligence 

- Developed feminine side

 

Hi there,

Would you mind expanding on those? How would those manifest while you were in the screening/getting to know a guy phase?

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50 minutes ago, Ghartok Padhome said:

Hi there,

Would you mind expanding on those? How would those manifest while you were in the screening/getting to know a guy phase?

6 hours ago, RickyFitts said:

Interesting that a good sense of humour's been mentioned a lot, that was probably one of the big things that attracted my girlfriends to me - not sure what it is that's so endearing about it, exactly?

EQ is basically empathy for another person. Ability to be attuned to their needs, attentive to the emotional expressions and reactions, ability to understand subtext during communication, be genuinely interested in another person, ask questions, ability to see ways how you can connect and relate to the other, reading body language, being considerate. 

In touch with feminine side means the guy who is not afraid to be emotionally expressive, talk about his feelings, go deep into vulnerability, be open and honest, be gentle, soften up next to a woman, show care for her. 

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Just in case anyone wasn't sure, EQ stands for Emotional Quotient, it measures emotional intelligence.


'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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I make my romantic decisions more off of the feelings that I have for the person. So, I don't specifically search for particular virtues. 

But I do have some dealbreakers...

- The man has to be my equal in terms of intelligence and thoughtfulness

- The man has to be a good person

- The man has to be on a similar life-path to me.

Other than that, I don't specifically try to seek out a man with "x,y, and z" traits. I let my heart make the decision. 


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On 8/2/2021 at 4:47 PM, Vzdoh said:

- Developed feminine side

@Vzdoh gosh my oh, are you kidding?


"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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3 hours ago, hamedsf said:

@Vzdoh gosh my oh, are you kidding?

We've all got a feminine side, and it's beautiful - it should be cultivated, not denied.


'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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1 hour ago, RickyFitts said:

We've all got a feminine side, and it's beautiful - it should be cultivated, not denied.

mainstream culture hocus-pocus 


"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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1 hour ago, hamedsf said:

mainstream culture hocus-pocus 

You don't think men have a feminine side? What do you think a feminine side is, exactly?


'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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Posted (edited)

Here are a few:

  • Good listener
  • Has good communication skills
  • Ability to hold space for others
  • Knows when to be patient and when to act
  • Good sense of humor / intelligence / empathy
  • Is kind for the sake of being kind
  • Has their own healthy personal boundaries
  • Respects their partners personal boundaries without the need to be told to
  • Is willing to take genuine interests in their partners hobbies
  • Does not mock or belittle their partners weaknesses, but rather helps them realize where they may need to grow
  • Never takes credit for their partner's growth, even if they did contribute a lot, it's important to empower others within their self
  • Wishes to establish a genuine healthy relationship with their partner's friends and family
  • Has a healthy relationship with their own family though some circumstances are understandable
  • Loves animals and isn't off-put by children (doesn't mean they want them or not, but disliking children/animals is a massive red flag)
  • Has decent eating habits and hygiene. Encourages partner to keep good health as well without criticizing when they might slip up
  • Can reciprocate emotions well. Not just listen, but respond in emotionally intelligent and possible helpful ways
  • Works on their partners insecurities rather than continuously validating them
  • Has already gotten over most of their own personal trauma
  • Is comfortable with their own self and doesn't need to wear a mask around others
  • Embraces the Fatherly arc-type without seeing their partner as a child
  • Is not prideful and willing to honestly admit when they are wrong
  • Asks their partner how he could improve as a person and contemplates the advice seriously
  • Isn't insecure or has jealousy issues
  • Has a healthy balance of masculine / feminine energy
  • Doesn't flirt with other women, but can still hold healthy plutonic relationships when needed
  • Doesn't objectivity women
Edited by Nos7algiK

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3 hours ago, RickyFitts said:

You don't think men have a feminine side? What do you think a feminine side is, exactly?

well, I do believe men have also feminine side just like women have masculine side but a man shouldn't cultivate that, rather he should destruct! 


"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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22 hours ago, hamedsf said:

@Vzdoh gosh my oh, are you kidding?

Do I sound like it? I am not attracted to macho guys cause they fail to relate to me emotionally and cannot be vulnerable with me. Vulnerability in a relationship is the only way to develop true intimacy. Only guys who accepted and integrated their feminine side are actually good with EQ and expressing emotions. 

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13 hours ago, Nos7algiK said:

Here are a few:

  • Good listener
  • Has good communication skills
  • Ability to hold space for others
  • Knows when to be patient and when to act
  • Good sense of humor / intelligence / empathy
  • Is kind for the sake of being kind
  • Has their own healthy personal boundaries
  • Respects their partners personal boundaries without the need to be told to
  • Is willing to take genuine interests in their partners hobbies
  • Does not mock or belittle their partners weaknesses, but rather helps them realize where they may need to grow
  • Never takes credit for their partner's growth, even if they did contribute a lot, it's important to empower others within their self
  • Wishes to establish a genuine healthy relationship with their partner's friends and family
  • Has a healthy relationship with their own family though some circumstances are understandable
  • Loves animals and isn't off-put by children (doesn't mean they want them or not, but disliking children/animals is a massive red flag)
  • Has decent eating habits and hygiene. Encourages partner to keep good health as well without criticizing when they might slip up
  • Can reciprocate emotions well. Not just listen, but respond in emotionally intelligent and possible helpful ways
  • Works on their partners insecurities rather than continuously validating them
  • Has already gotten over most of their own personal trauma
  • Is comfortable with their own self and doesn't need to wear a mask around others
  • Embraces the Fatherly arc-type without seeing their partner as a child
  • Is not prideful and willing to honestly admit when they are wrong
  • Asks their partner how he could improve as a person and contemplates the advice seriously
  • Isn't insecure or has jealousy issues
  • Has a healthy balance of masculine / feminine energy
  • Doesn't flirt with other women, but can still hold healthy plutonic relationships when needed
  • Doesn't objectivity women

Oh wow that's a cute compilation. 

 


 INFJ loner... .shy girl.. 

Quick access to journal entries

 

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