Chris_Esoteric

Transcending The Ego-Mind Permanently

36 posts in this topic

1 hour ago, EmptyVase said:

@Chris_Esoteric

I think taotemu gave a solid answer regarding transcendence.

My point was more focused on receiving love. Loving unconditionally "without being loved in return" didn't sit quite right with me. You might want to inspect why you would want such a thing. Loving unconditionally would also mean that you get loved in return, since unconditional love is unconditional and non-dual.

Unconditional love is a toxic myth IMO.  At least on a human / ego level.  Healthy love requires healthy boundaries.  Boundaries are by definition, conditions.  My wife and I have a very healthy relationship and our relationship is probably more conditional than any other relationship in my life.  We work well because we each respect, clearly communicate and understand each others boundaries.  It makes love relationships work.  So many people buy into the myth of unconditional love and accept behaviors that are toxic and abusive.  I call it a Disney induced psychosis.  It does not work and sets people up for emotional abuse and heartbreak. 

From the perspective of God, unconditional love is all there is.  That is a very different thing and it is best not to confuse them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@EmptyVase Underneath it all, I want to be loved by people. I want to receive love, just as much as I want to give it. But what if no one loves me? I thought to myself, why not strive to love without expecting love or anything in return? My two greatest fears are being hated by everyone and becoming an insignificant nobody. I'm very eager to remove those two deepest fears engraved deep within my psyche, as I'd like to put it. So, it's not about transcending the Ego, per say. The truth is, I do want to receive love from other people but I'm afraid the opposite might happen and this is me preparing for the worst, in other words. That's something I think about, everyday.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

@taotemu I understand that, but what if I no one loves me? That's a possibility that's haunted me for as long as I can remember. 

Edit: My desire to love unconditionally (by that I mean loving the people who despise me or who don't care for me, in any way) stems from the fear of being resented by the majority of people, perhaps, everyone on the planet. It's an irrational fear but nonetheless, very real to me.

Edited by Chris_Esoteric

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

the desire to be loved, accepted, is pure ego. the basis of the ego is the duality between surviving or dying. as human we are social beings that survive thanks to social support. If they fire you from the tribe, you are dead. the life-death duality translates into acceptance-rejection. if you want to transcend the ego, you have to transcend this. It is not something easy to do by following some practices. it requires real courage. but it is easy to have courage when you see that being a coward you are not going to get any kind of real security

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Chris_Esoteric  I understand that.  It is a basic human need to be loved because we need each other and are social animals as @Breakingthewall pointed out.  The problem is in the desperation and in the strong attachment.  I spent the first 35 years of my life seeking and wanting love, acceptance and romance.  Sometimes I felt it but it always felt vulnerable, thus causing me to cling.  The clinging eventually became suffocating.  Most of my relationships had a kind of desperation and unhealthy attachment to them.  It was a recipe for pain and suffering. 

Now I joke with my wife that my greatest ambition in life is to be anonymous and irrelevant.  I love being alone (my greatest fear 30 years ago).  I prefer it in fact.  I feel completely fulfilled and loved most of the time.  I don't need it from anyone... even my wife.  And that gives her the freedom to simply be herself too.  It is a beautiful thing.  Love lives inside of me and I simply share it with those close to me.  I am able to love in a much more healthy way.  It is no longer about trying to manipulate others into meeting my needs.  I can simply be myself honestly and without agenda.  And nothing is more attractive to other people than authenticity.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You’ll want an ego mind that runs itself over no ego mind eventually 


You mistake my Raja Yoga. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, taotemu said:

Unconditional love is a toxic myth IMO.  At least on a human / ego level.  Healthy love requires healthy boundaries.  Boundaries are by definition, conditions.  My wife and I have a very healthy relationship and our relationship is probably more conditional than any other relationship in my life.  We work well because we each respect, clearly communicate and understand each others boundaries.  It makes love relationships work.  So many people buy into the myth of unconditional love and accept behaviors that are toxic and abusive.  I call it a Disney induced psychosis.  It does not work and sets people up for emotional abuse and heartbreak. 

From the perspective of God, unconditional love is all there is.  That is a very different thing and it is best not to confuse them.

100% agree.

8 hours ago, Chris_Esoteric said:

I understand that, but what if I no one loves me? That's a possibility that's haunted me for as long as I can remember.

Then, at least, you should love yourself.

8 hours ago, Chris_Esoteric said:

Edit: My desire to love unconditionally (by that I mean loving the people who despise me or who don't care for me, in any way) stems from the fear of being resented by the majority of people, perhaps, everyone on the planet. It's an irrational fear but nonetheless, very real to me.

It's very real to you because that's what makes a belief, a belief. You really believe that this is the case.

You might want to look into The Work by Byron Katie to drop these beliefs.

The following quote is from this website:

Quote

SELF REFERENTIAL THOUGHTS

One can, should & must think for oneself.

One can not think oneself.

The call for this contemplation is suffering, namely; existential rumination, anxiety, or depression.

Mental anguish, or, suffering, is the experience of feeling…
and a resistant thought.

The resistant thought is believed to be true.

The feeling of discord is believed to be because the thought is true.

The feeling of discord arises precisely because, the thought is not true.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

@EmptyVase Yeah, that's crucial! To give myself the love I need and overcome that deep fear of mine. But How else will I be able to get a girlfriend, get a a job and pursue an LP? In that sense, don't I need the love of other people? Otherwise, I would be a homeless person on the street.

Edited by Chris_Esoteric

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 01/08/2021 at 8:40 PM, Seraphim said:

Yes! The I-thought that Ramana Maharshi talked about can disappear for good. Then there is no more addiction to thinking, one can meditate effortlessly without thoughts, and the intuition is more clear so it's easier to make good choices in life.

Can it really though?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can strive for receiving love from others, and loving unconditionally, at the same time. Loss and gain still exist, but you stop caring.
Why strive for love when you don't care? We're wired to strive for love, so simply not resisting your nature might take this form. It might also just be for the lolz. Why not play some ego games for the fun of it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
51 minutes ago, RMQualtrough said:

Can it really though?

What makes you doubt it? The liberation from the ego is the foundation in many spiritual paths. One will keep seeking until the I-thought is gone, all addictions come from the I-thought. The neo-advaita-people are just pretending to be enlightened, it's another trap created by the I-thought.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

What makes you doubt it? The liberation from the ego is the foundation in many spiritual paths. One will keep seeking until the I-thought is gone, all addictions come from the I-thought. The neo-advaita-people are just pretending to be enlightened, it's another trap created by the I-thought.

I've briefly been in these types of states and I don't think survival would be possible if it stayed that way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 minutes ago, RMQualtrough said:

I've briefly been in these types of states and I don't think survival would be possible if it stayed that way.

Being a master of your mind, instead of a slave to it, doesn't make it hard to do the things you need to do to survive. Maybe the state you were in was some type of samadhi-state, that's different. I'm talking about the natural state, the one that normal people sometimes get a glimpse of when they are on vacation and go from being in the mind to being in the heart, being in the now and suddenly feel happy and blissful for "no reason" :) 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/1/2021 at 1:46 PM, Chris_Esoteric said:

Transcending The Ego-Mind Permanently

Paradoxically, to do that, let the concepts of transcendence, ego-mind & permanence go. Notice those aren’t things, just thoughts. Also notice there is no reference to permanence, or, no permanent ‘things’, only change. 

Quote

I want nothing more than to experience inner peace and universal love! I have a few motivations for why I'm pursuing Enlightenment, one of them being a deep desire to transcend fear.

Also paradoxical, but that is a narrative, a story, about you in a future. In meditatively letting that narrative go, presence is / is felt… is feeling. Instead of aiming to transcend fear, inspect it… what is it literally, actually. 

Quote

After reading countless trip reports from all sorts of places online, I think it's safe to say that the Ego comes back in some form or another, after having a transpersonal experience through drugs or any spiritual practice.

Sneaky. That is an assumption. Careful, for all you know it’s self full filling. How do you actually know anyone has ever written a trip report really. You’ve probably heard stories about Santa Clause too, but likely don’t believe it. Why not? Start. Start believing in Santa. Start telling everyone about Santa.  Compare that direct experience to these beliefs / this direct experience, notice the ridiculousness is simpatico. 

Quote

I want to be able to love unconditionally without being loved in return, which is another primary motivator of mine for getting involved in Consciousness Work.

 

The nature of motive is you hold something to be attainable in a future, if you do x, y & z. The nature of inspiration is presence / nowness, and not even. 

Quote

The point of Life is to exist! It's The ALL (GOD) experiencing itself in every form, imagined. 

Form is also imaged, but so to speak, at the finite level. It’s a personal belief. 

Quote

So, getting to my question(s), is it possible to completely transcend the Ego without ever returning to what we call ordinary reality? Is that what happens at the point of death? Or do we reincarnate into another form? 

Who’s questions? 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, Chris_Esoteric said:

But How else will I be able to get a girlfriend, get a a job and pursue an LP? In that sense, don't I need the love of other people? Otherwise, I would be a homeless person on the street.

Yes, that's a legit perspective. People always act out of love. Different forms of love attract different kinds of people. For one, it might be popcorn, for someone else it might be music or sex or cigarettes or spirituality. Everyone seeks love. And a big part of the world tries to sell you love.

You cannot be sold. But you can inspire. When others feel the love of inspiration, they will want you. Whether it be as a boyfriend or as an employee.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2021-08-03 at 0:43 AM, taotemu said:

Unconditional love is a toxic myth IMO.  At least on a human / ego level.  Healthy love requires healthy boundaries.  Boundaries are by definition, conditions.  My wife and I have a very healthy relationship and our relationship is probably more conditional than any other relationship in my life.  We work well because we each respect, clearly communicate and understand each others boundaries.  It makes love relationships work.  So many people buy into the myth of unconditional love and accept behaviors that are toxic and abusive.  I call it a Disney induced psychosis.  It does not work and sets people up for emotional abuse and heartbreak. 

From the perspective of God, unconditional love is all there is.  That is a very different thing and it is best not to confuse them.

Just because you love someone unconditionally doesn't mean you'll stay in an abusive relationship. You might like or dislike there behavior but the love will be there nontheless. 

The problem is people hear about unconditional love and try to ACT like they love unconditionally without being on that LOC but it's all fake and that opens up all sorts of delusional behavior.


Only the phonies won't end up enlightened.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now