Azrael

5-meo-dmt | Trip Report #3: On Being God

125 posts in this topic

oh i am very concerned about it, i used that term because, what i am suggesting here seems very far fetched, that there isnt a physical world and an image you have in your mind of a tree is just as real a tree you would see in '' real '' life. 

but at the same time what i am suggesting here is in line with direct experience but not in line with what thought says. 

i want enlightenment because i want out of suffering. if you are happy and content in life there is no point in persueing enlightenment 

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On 04/01/2017 at 5:55 PM, Acharya said:

How many trips do you think will be necessary to make you completely established in the nature of the self 24/7?

On 05/01/2017 at 2:13 AM, Azrael said:

I guess 10-15 breakthrough-trips. But this will take a year at least if not two. After my first breakthrough I had and still have to integrate the experience, it's that big.

Martin Ball has probably done more 5-MeO trips than anyone else on this planet, yet he doesn't strike me as a particularly ego-free specimen.  Watch his last video, where he displays a few self-aggrandizement moments, often at the expense of Terence McKenna's formidable reputation.

It's possible that the short duration of the 5-MeO trip (as opposed to psilocybin or the longer Ayahuasca ceremonies), may not be conducive to the integration of the non-duality experience into everyday life.  Maybe the breakthrough trips crack the ego just enough to let it return stronger, akin to "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

As far as I can tell with my very limited awakening experience, Rupert Spira seems like a fine example of someone who has successfully integrated his own awakening experiences into his everyday life.

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29 minutes ago, jse said:

Martin Ball has probably done more 5-MeO trips than anyone else on this planet, yet he doesn't strike me as a particularly ego-free specimen.

No, I don't think so. I guess he took like 10 and was through with the topic. I guess I wrote with @Leo Gura about this in the past and he mentioned it. Maybe you can clarify this one, Leo.

31 minutes ago, jse said:

Watch his last video, where he displays a few self-aggrandizement moments, often at the expense of Terence McKenna's formidable reputation.

Yeah, but you mix two different coups here. Being fully liberated doesn't mean you quit your whole character and loose your juice. It'll probably open you up (at least this is my experience from temporary enlightenment experiences and the integration after it) but it doesn't make you to a "I'm all nice and love all ppl"-kinda guy. Go to a Zen monastery and meet some very rude enlightened masters that beat the shit out of you and scream at you (of course this has its purpose). :P

36 minutes ago, jse said:

It's possible that the short duration of the 5-MeO trip (as opposed to psilocybin or the longer Ayahuasca ceremonies), may not be conducive to the integration of the non-duality experience into everyday life.  Maybe the breakthrough trips crack the ego just enough to let it return stronger, akin to "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

From my experience 5-MeO in particular has the deepest and most transforming long-term effect compared to all other psychedelics. I'd list them in this order (starting high, getting low): 1. 5-MeO-DMT, 2. Shrooms, 3. DMT, 4. LSD. But that's just from my personal 2-year experience with like 10-20 trips of acid, 20-30 DMT trips, a few shroom trips and a few MeO ones. But MeO is by far the deepest. It breaks something in your brain so that it must rewire in a more complex fashion to stand this experience (at least that is what it feels like). Meditation on steroids flying through outer space with a warp engine.

40 minutes ago, jse said:

As far as I can tell with my very limited awakening experience, Rupert Spira seems like a fine example of someone who has successfully integrated his own awakening experiences into his everyday life.

No doubt Ruper Spira or Eckhart Tolle or Shinzen Young are perfect examples of the enlightened, chilled, empathic kind of person. But I would bet with you that they were kind of chilled and friendly even before they had there experience. It then just deepened this character trait.


They want reality, so I give 'em a fatal dosage.

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45 minutes ago, jse said:

Martin Ball has probably done more 5-MeO trips than anyone else on this planet, yet he doesn't strike me as a particularly ego-free specimen.  Watch his last video, where he displays a few self-aggrandizement moments, often at the expense of Terence McKenna's formidable reputation.

The ego is the inauthentic part of us. Our natural personality always remains because that's how Consciousness expresses itself. If someone is naturally an asshole they won't change. (not talking about Martin but in general)  


The unborn Lord has many incarnations. BPHS 

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I tend to agree with jse above in that 5-MeO-DMT or any other magic pill isn't going to "make you enlightened" - it's not that mechanical. It does grant you the possibility of an enlightenment experience, but that doesn't necessarily change anything about you once the effects wear off.

You know what they say - "Before enlightenment: chopping wood, fetching water. After enlightenment: chopping wood, fetching water"

 


How to get to infinity? Divide by zero.

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8 hours ago, outlandish said:

It does grant you the possibility of an enlightenment experience, but that doesn't necessarily change anything about you once the effects wear off.

Maybe so, we have to investigate this with enough people to be sure. What I've experienced so far is more gain in awareness from one breakthrough dose then 2 years of prior meditation (and I had a couple of deep enlightenment experiences before MeO). A lot more then that. For me, that's completely insane. I also know for myself that it'll permanently liberate me if I do another 10-15 breakthrough trips of this. It's just, that you need the time and focus to do it and the time to integrate it. You can't just do it and run off, or you'll be fucked. :D


They want reality, so I give 'em a fatal dosage.

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Martin Ball doesn't seem unenlightened to me. Enlightenment doesn't mean slowing down your character per se.

 

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11 hours ago, Azrael said:

Maybe so, we have to investigate this with enough people to be sure. What I've experienced so far is more gain in awareness from one breakthrough dose then 2 years of prior meditation (and I had a couple of deep enlightenment experiences before MeO). A lot more then that. For me, that's completely insane. I also know for myself that it'll permanently liberate me if I do another 10-15 breakthrough trips of this. It's just, that you need the time and focus to do it and the time to integrate it. You can't just do it and run off, or you'll be fucked. :D

Yeah, I agree this needs to be investigated :) It's good to have this forum for us to share information on the matter.

It's the same thing for me, my one breakthrough 5-MeO-DMT experience was more insightful than probably all my meditation experience combined. Or at least it went much much further and deeper than anything else prior, and I think I've only caught the faintest whiff of the tip of the iceberg so far.

My theory right now is that having some meditation practice/experience, lays the groundwork for being able to work with 5-MeO-DMT in a "spiritually" (I dislike using that word, but it is convenient) productive way. However, I'm also aware that with psychedelics it's really easy to get trapped in the idea that "my" way of doing it is the correct way, and that everyone should do it the same way. So I think it's entirely possible that any old Joe off the street who's never even dipped a toe into the spiritual waters, would have a transcendental experience with 5-MeO-DMT. I'm curious what others think about this.


How to get to infinity? Divide by zero.

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@Leo Gura Could we have a 5-MeO-DMT megathread? It seems threads like this trip report are getting hijacked for general 5-MeO-DMT discussion. Perhaps it would be good to have a centralized place to discuss it.


How to get to infinity? Divide by zero.

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Amazing. Thanks for sharing. I'm excitedly waiting to try it myself soon when I get my first batch.

You said you've used Kola Nut. What is the purpose of it? Do you mix it with 5-MeO and snort it together to soften the consumption?

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7 hours ago, Tancrede Pouyat said:

I feel like people don't seem to understand the significance of the following :

tumblr_m8t3gd6O1z1qf1xt1o1_1280.jpg

Remember Leo talking about, but never really quite get this map. Where could I read more about it? Because I don't really understand what the bull is referring to? Enlightenment? And after "riding" it for a while, you transcend even the idea of enlightenment? What is the source?

In fact, I remember that there was a very similar one, but with a fox, wasn't there?

Edited by Wind

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1 hour ago, Wind said:

You said you've used Kola Nut. What is the purpose of it? Do you mix it with 5-MeO and snort it together to soften the consumption?

Nope, you can drink it (it's brown powder) with some juice like 10-15 minutes before you do the 5-MeO. It'll bring your attention in your body, makes you calm but also very motivated, concentrated and just ready for the experience. @Leo Gura suggested it to me and I tried it. For me, both are a perfect match and make a very nice experience.


They want reality, so I give 'em a fatal dosage.

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2 hours ago, outlandish said:

So I think it's entirely possible that any old Joe off the street who's never even dipped a toe into the spiritual waters, would have a transcendental experience with 5-MeO-DMT. I'm curious what others think about this.

Yeah, could be. But I would be very careful with that. In my experience you could also fuck yourself up pretty deeply if you do it and have no idea how to interpret it. Because you will interpret it either way, when you come back.

That's why I don't share with people where you get MeO, or why I say that you at least should have a meditation habit going for some while and some experiences with other psychedelics like shrooms or normal DMT. You don't wanna fly outer space if you never sat in a plane.

Also, you should be informed what this is really doing to you. Anything that can have a big beneficial long-term effect on your brain and psyche can also have the same negative effect if you use it wrongly. For example I was very shocked how much the breakthrough impacted my thresholds with other psychedelics. I did a 3g shroom trip in December, 2016 and it was by far one of my deepest shroom experiences, good and bad. Before MeO I did 5g shrooms and had a very insightful deep experience (I posted the trip report on the forum) but it wasn't even comparable with the intensity of the last one. Fucking crazy. :P


They want reality, so I give 'em a fatal dosage.

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3 hours ago, outlandish said:

My one breakthrough 5-MeO-DMT experience was more insightful than probably all my meditation experience combined. Or at least it went much much further and deeper than anything else prior, and I think I've only caught the faintest whiff of the tip of the iceberg so far.

My theory right now is that having some meditation practice/experience, lays the groundwork for being able to work with 5-MeO-DMT in a "spiritually" (I dislike using that word, but it is convenient) productive way. However, I'm also aware that with psychedelics it's really easy to get trapped in the idea that "my" way of doing it is the correct way, and that everyone should do it the same way. So I think it's entirely possible that any old Joe off the street who's never even dipped a toe into the spiritual waters, would have a transcendental experience with 5-MeO-DMT. I'm curious what others think about this.

In other words... exactly as I've told you guys ;)

3 hours ago, outlandish said:

@Leo Gura Could we have a 5-MeO-DMT megathread? It seems threads like this trip report are getting hijacked for general 5-MeO-DMT discussion. Perhaps it would be good to have a centralized place to discuss it.

I like this idea. I'll start it, you guys contribute.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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15 hours ago, Wind said:

Remember Leo talking about, but never really quite get this map. Where could I read more about it? Because I don't really understand what the bull is referring to? Enlightenment? And after "riding" it for a while, you transcend even the idea of enlightenment? What is the source?

In fact, I remember that there was a very similar one, but with a fox, wasn't there?

I think Bull = mind / ego


Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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@Azrael I know this is an old post but thank you so much. I know words are not enough to described what you experienced but what you described was very vivid and just unreal. I have never done 5-MEO DMT before but after having learned about it through my involvement with Actualized.org, my own personal research and now reading your report, I want to experience it, if only once, more than anything else in life.

Thanks again.

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@Azrael Hi Azrael, I greatly enjoyed reading your trip report(s)!

May I ask if you are still living in Berlin? I have been a Berliner-by-choice myself for quite some time; even though I live outside of Germany for the time being, I still have my little flat there. Have you ever visited the Psychedelic Saloon at Görlitzer Park? That is a really cool place to meet and connect with other psychonauts... who knows, maybe the two of us have already met there once or twice. ;o)

Schönen Gruß!


Why so serious?

 

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On 15.11.2019 at 5:38 PM, Bazooka Jesus said:

@Azrael Hi Azrael, I greatly enjoyed reading your trip report(s)!

Glad you liked it :-)

On 15.11.2019 at 5:38 PM, Bazooka Jesus said:

May I ask if you are still living in Berlin?

Yes, I do!

On 15.11.2019 at 5:38 PM, Bazooka Jesus said:

Have you ever visited the Psychedelic Saloon at Görlitzer Park? That is a really cool place to meet and connect with other psychonauts... who knows, maybe the two of us have already met there once or twice. ;o)

No, never been there. I mostly trip(ped) with my friends / alone. We went a few times to the Treptower Park / Plänterwald. Rlly nice locations to have a nice trip in the summer here. Never been to the Psychedlic Saloon doe. Sounds cool. I've been to a seminar from the Psychedlic Society once that was about Microdosing.


They want reality, so I give 'em a fatal dosage.

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