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Preety_India

Winderbeetle and Suburbians

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My little fam are these imaginary bunch of rabbits who I want to talk to everyday.

I wanna call them Suburbians. 

They're cute as my fantasy characters.

 

5i8lyi.jpg

 

 


 INFJ loner... .shy girl.. 

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My little fam are these imaginary bunch of rabbits who I want to talk to everyday.

I wanna call them Suburbians. 

They're cute as my fantasy characters.

 

5i8lyi.jpg

 

 

And Winderbeetle is a doctor (doctor cosplay photo )

 

 

5i8mam.jpg

 

 


 INFJ loner... .shy girl.. 

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Posted (edited)

Don't be a drama collector. Be a drama deflector.

 

There are many opportunities that come up for drama.

For example 

Yesterday there was someone in the journal commenting. And it was really Targeting me. So I kinda decided not to participate in that.

The other example was my thread ....in which I was slut shamed and I decided (instead of engaging with the person and fighting and arguing with them) I chose to simply get the thread locked.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INFJ loner... .shy girl.. 

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Winderbeetle is someone, a character I developed who plays the role of a doctor. 

A doctor who talks to me and the bunny family and he will say interesting things related to psychology and medicine.

This will also help me hone my psychological skills.

 

 

 

 


 INFJ loner... .shy girl.. 

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I just don't want to talk to anyone (except a few people who respect me ) . I just don't wanna talk.

I get hurt by all this shaming. It doesn't do me good 

It hurts me. I rather not.

I just keep to myself. That's why I changed my profile picture to a blank black slate .

I'm fed up being treated like a clown and constantly being considered a nuisance when I'm just being my genuine self. It hurts deep 

How do you feel when you're disrespected ? Same.

I don't want any drama. I never wanted to begin with.

I think I should strictly talk to only people who respect me.

Enough of everyone's projections and bullshit assumptions. Like I said it hurts.

I'm already a lonely,isolated  repressed,  suppressed woman. On top of all this shaming gets to me.

It's like being blamed for nothing. It hurts. 

Because I'm just me. I constantly feel punished for only being me.

I have understood that there is no point in expecting that people will respect me. Because it will never happen.

It's a huge mistake to assume that people are going to welcome with open arms. That's a joke, I'm a fool to believe that. I should drop it, it's a mistake to ask for love, it's a mistake to ask for warmth, it's a mistake to ask for respect.

A nihilistic perspective serves me much better, soothes the inner flames and anxiety/expectation of something better, the anticipation that people will love and respect me. Well, it's just a pipedream.

Humanity will always survive and progress and achieve big things. But these things will only serve the ego. A true lonely heart will never find a place in this world. This world can never cure that. Like Christ said - "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." 

My happiness stays with me and dies with me. It can't be shared because the world doesn't want me. 

The world get richer and richer and lonelier and lonelier because all these bodies that want all the goodies, all this materialism, they're basically dead inside, they're hollow and empty inside, devoid of a beating heart!

So whatever they achieve, they'll never have love. Because true love doesn't exist in this world, doesn't exist in this materialism. Here a poet will die a lonely death. Those who seek love, the world will only give them misery and hurt/pain. 

It's a mistake to expect love..this world is bitter and cold, an emotional poet will die here..

I have a poet's heart. I can't take this world anymore. It hurts me..

Let God take me back. I can get relief. 

There is pain in my writing, because there is pain in my heart. 

It will never go away.

 

 

 


 INFJ loner... .shy girl.. 

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Posted (edited)

Winderbeetle's work needs to start right away.

At every moment he dictates me my psychology. How cool would that be ?

Right now....

Right now....

Right now...

Winderbeetle - you have to focus on being in an emotionally good State.

Winderbeetle not only tells you what psychological process you're going through but also what psychological changes will fix the current state.

 

So Winderbeetle operates in a dualistic mode

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

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Posted (edited)

Winderbeetle

 

One problem that I constantly suffer is that my mind goes blank for long periods of time.

Some of the solutions to this problem

 

my-mind-goes-blank

  • Cut down drama
  • Don't engage in drama
  • Increase self focus
  • Have something that reminds of what you need to do. Maintain a sequence or continuum.
  • Focus on action 
  • Self reflect a lot 
  • Go inward instead of going external
  • Cut down distractions
  • Develop laser focus
  • Be very clear about what you want
  • Develop motivation
  • Constantly think about what you should be doing for the next moment
  • Value yourself and value your time
  • Have a vision board- smaller and bigger goals
  • Work on "self abandonment" issues.
  • Develop healthy stage Orange mentality
  • Ignore superficial emotions
  • Ignore hurt/pain because it stops you from getting job done
  • Note down obstacles (challenges) and obstructions( sabotaging factors, distraction etc )

 

 

I liked this response from the thread

 

"For mindfulness iit helps to have something that catches your interest and get the wheels turning in the brain. A poetry book for example, or listening to an audio of your poems etc. like this.. "

 I have to direct my awareness and attention to something that will get "my wheels" turning .

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INFJ loner... .shy girl.. 

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Make it like a process

Starting point-this is where you enter the house. Make goals. Motivate. Prepare yourself mentally. Increase focus. 

Process point - this is where you start doing the work and getting done.

Exit point - now you can choose to have fun or deep rest or use this time for self reflection as to "what went wrong this whole time?" Or ",what I can do to improve current situation/current progress?"

 


 INFJ loner... .shy girl.. 

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Posted (edited)

That's why I invented the God's house journal. 

In that journal I'll focus on keeping love thst i

Edited by Preety_India

 INFJ loner... .shy girl.. 

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On 28/07/2021 at 6:24 PM, Preety_India said:

Maybe this is what I can start focusing on as a starting point.

I can use alphabets to track and once the trail is over, start back again.

Like for example 

A.....

B ..

C..

 

 

 

 

This is what I needed.

 


 INFJ loner... .shy girl.. 

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Posted (edited)

Good morning Suburbians:x

Today is a new day in my life.

I want to start it on a positive note.

5i8lyi.jpg

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INFJ loner... .shy girl.. 

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Good morning Suburbians :x

 

it's not a great start today..

I mostly felt tired and stressed..I wanted to do something but the fear came back and it gripped me.

 

I have decided not to talk as long as I'm in this phase. I feel pressured by my family and I don't like talking to them yet they constantly force me to talk..

 

 

5i8lyi.jpg

 


 INFJ loner... .shy girl.. 

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