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eaaaeaeae

I feel like I am close to some awakenings but still have ego, is this an obstacle?

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I almost feel oneness again and again. I feel I am pretty close if i haven't done it already but just didn't realise I did it. Maybe there are things like semi awakenings in which you realise something but you don't really give it much importance or you don't fully realise it, you just realise something small. 

For example I almost realise that I am everything, it's just this field of appearances like a play that everything is moving (whether moving is real or unmoving different momnets) and at the same time I feel like I have ego. It's like I can understand it , even lose the ego for a second or two cause I become like a circle sea that has appearances and it's not really a human or formed, but a circle that appear many forms in it. And yet I still think I have an ego sometime and I don't find it to be a problem. Should I lose my ego cause I don't want. I just lose it for some seconds and then I become me again when I stop realising I am consciousness. It's like I become consciousness and then it feels like I stop being consciousess, which is very paradoxical and weird cause I find it totally weird how can this phenomena of being consciousness but not feel it can happen. This illusion is so weird like a paradox. But I just mention it, let's not concetrate at the paradox (if anyone can get what I am saying about this feeling/state of consciousness). So let's go back to the thing I was saying/asking. Is it bad if I still have ego when I stop identifying with consciousness? Or this is not an obstacle and I don't have to lose ego completely and every time if I don't want to? It's like I can enter consciousness state very easily if I close my eys and then open them cause it helps me and then my ego can come back automaticaly without me doing anything, just by stop concentrating at consciousness.

Bonus: Whenever I understand I am consciousness some memories of when I was child come to me(they appear out of nowhere I didn't search for them not I can acess them at will), when I was less than 5 or 6 years old. Which is weird cause I can't remember many things. It's like even though you don't understand you are consciousness that age you still are more easily at that state and not concentrating at you but outer 'visual' world. Like when you were kid and brought your face too close to floor or wells to check everything near you. 

Also it's so weird that the more I try to explain and ask things and get feedback, the more I understand these things, like an exercise of awakening that happens cause of writing. It's almost like this is the exercise haha :P

anyway when I try to explain these stuff it's difficult to explain and they seem like confusion but I really know that I try to explain something real, I just can't transfer it easily with words. And I can't transfer the experience either so it's weird.

Anyway, while explaining this I almost got transfered to the feelings I had before 5 years old which almost have never happened to me. And I felt lightened. Like pressure wasn't too much in my body. That's probably the state you are in before conscioussness decides to make you go to school socialise and make your life living hell, not leting you be a happy baby with your parents forever. 

Anyway, thanks for reading, that was it

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Thanks for sharing.  I am having the same problem.  Ego will always be an obstacle until it is fully integrated, and that take time, like 100+ awakenings

We can only suppress ego temporary, so I just learn to live with it, instead.


Hakuna matata

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@Tim Hothe way I interpert and understand things right now, I don't feel like my ego is the problem. But I have heard so many times that ''killing'' your ego is good for awakening that I am wondering if it really is or it just bad interpertation and it isn't really a problem. 

That being said, of course having a ''huge'' ego doesn't help at all, but that's a different subject from what I am describing. I love my ego after all, I don't have problem with it. And I love it cause it helps me a lot. I just realise that having too much of an ego not only is going to destroy someone, but it's also mostly an illusion created by the mind for no good reason. 

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Ego can't get rid of itself because it is itself.

Ego vanishes, if and when it does, and appears if and when it does, the way a whirlpool appears in a river when conditions are just so, and disappears when not. 

What is mistaken to be the thinker of thoughts, is just more thought occurring when it does. 

"The biggest ego trip is getting rid of your ego, and of course the joke of it all is that your ego does not exist." - Alan Watts

 


"I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people."

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In my experience the ego really doesn't go away, at least for long.  Psychedelics, meditation etc. can temporarily displace the ego, but is seems to always find it's way back.  The goal isn't so much to kill the ego, but to divorce it.  Stop identifying with it.  It will still be there doing it's monkey dance within our minds, but if we don't identify with it, it becomes a kind of background noise.  The authentic self can then be free to guide us.

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Posted (edited)

Who is it that wants to get rid of the ego if not the ego? 

Who can stop identifying with the ego? More ego? 

The problem is that you are confused about who you are. You exist, but not separate from 'that which is not you'.. Everything is literally you.  There is no 'thinker' in addition to thinking. No observer in addition to observing. No doer in addition to doing. 

There is thinking, and observing, and doing, and all those things are what you are, the same way a whirlpool is really just the river whirlpooling.. There really is no 'separate' whirlpool in the river somewhere that is 'causing itself to whirlpool'.. You can't take a whirlpool out of a river and show it to me, because there really isn't one there.

Edited by Mason Riggle

"I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people."

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Posted (edited)

3 hours ago, Mason Riggle said:

"The biggest ego trip is getting rid of your ego, and of course the joke of it all is that your ego does not exist." - Alan Watts

👍 

The freedom it entails cannot be mistaken.

&

It doesn't usually happen all at once, it's an unfolding that can last months or years.... in very very rare cases it's a quick unhappening ❤

 

Edited by VeganAwake

“Everything is honoured, but nothing matters.” — Eckhart Tolle.

"I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens. I've been knocking from the inside." -- Rumi

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Ego is part of what awakens, so if you don’t use that you’ll never get too far. It’s learning to drop it and pick it up again when it’s needed. 


You mistake my Raja Yoga. 

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Posted (edited)

@eaaaeaeae “I” is the ego. Drop the I. Whatever left is what You really are. Than realization happens that I was never there. 

Edited by James12345

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@James12345So could it be true that when you stop being an I of body(identification with body) and you 'become' literally whatever happens, that your ego/I becomes bigger cause you are now everything? Which is the same thing as having no ego. Something like, I have no particular ego, cause I am everything equally but I have an ego which is everything.

Here it happened again, while trying to explain this I felt that I am not the body but something else, that thing I am does not have any organs like we would think a live thing always has organs and yet it's alive. Anyway that's how I just felt.

@BipolarGrowthSo ego (or the illusion of it if this description is more accurate)is not a problem at all, it comes and goes sometimes.

@Mason RiggleI think I get it. I am everything. It's not that I am not, it's just that I am everything which mean that I am not the body(ego) cause body is not the whole, only some part. And if you are the whole how can you identify with a part. It's like having a hand and idenitfying with a finger while you are 5 finger and more than figers if you identify also with the whole hand.

@taotemuI see, it's not nessecary that someone should concentrate to the ego even if it's illusion comes or when it goes away cause of being so conscious of what you actually really are which is a bigger (ego?/)self. I exist but I am not as a body, as something more.

 

In conclusion feeling like I am a human ego doesn't stop my practice , path and journey, it's normal and sometimes will be there sometimes it won't (after all the human mind that conscioussness created always is going to make you feel like you are seperate at times)

 

this is really helpful thank you 

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Posted (edited)

ego is territoriality

this is my place is the universe and please do not encroach on me or my phone or my patch or be prepared to pay

i fulfill a needed role here and i am mighty good at certain stuff and boy you should see me dance

Edited by gettoefl

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If I am everything and I think I am talking to other people that exist, then as a solipsism experience is like I generate you (unknowingly how without my consent) and I am actually talking with myself/itself pretending that there is something to learn while it's that thing itself that knows everything if and when it wants... My mind just went another dimension with this stuff :S

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@gettoefllike ego is what always try to seperate cause that's how it get good things done to itself

and no ego unites everything and become the whole conscioussness actually deleting the ego

 

(of course 1st situation is an illusion cause you are always everything. Conscioussness becomes this illusion. It's not a lie/fake or non existence cause it's illusion. It's real illusion, it happens for real, but it's just an illusion) 

 

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3 minutes ago, eaaaeaeae said:

If I am everything and I think I am talking to other people that exist, then as a solipsism experience is like I generate you (unknowingly how without my consent) and I am actually talking with myself/itself pretending that there is something to learn while it's that thing itself that knows everything if and when it wants... My mind just went another dimension with this stuff :S

words at a forum are ego beware

have you called your mom or your nearest and dearest today?

that will be better

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2 minutes ago, eaaaeaeae said:

@gettoefllike ego is what always try to seperate cause that's how it get good things done to itself

and no ego unites everything and become the whole conscioussness actually deleting the ego

 

(of course 1st situation is an illusion cause you are always everything. Conscioussness becomes this illusion. It's not a lie/fake or non existence cause it's illusion. It's real illusion, it happens for real, but it's just an illusion) 

 

what is key is, that you can see the ego

it is like a hand, it can be a fist that's ego or it can be an open hand for a handshake

when we get in bed at night, we know exactly what was ego and what was not

at the time it is harder but spiritual practice is about catching it in real time

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@eaaaeaeae it’s your biggest problem or biggest comrade depending how you use it and how much control you have. 


You mistake my Raja Yoga. 

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could it be that I am both ego and no ego, and these things are united to one conscioussness which is the big and only whole self ('god'). 

Like when you see your right hand and your left hand , let's name right hand ego and left hand no ego. If they are in front of you they are both true. They are different but the same conscioussness which means it's only 1 thing, conscioussness (which contains both situations like a book with 10 pages is one but it can pretend it's 10 different seperate things when it comes to its pages)

 

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35 minutes ago, eaaaeaeae said:

could it be that I am both ego and no ego, and these things are united to one conscioussness which is the big and only whole self ('god'). 

Like when you see your right hand and your left hand , let's name right hand ego and left hand no ego. If they are in front of you they are both true. They are different but the same conscioussness which means it's only 1 thing, conscioussness (which contains both situations like a book with 10 pages is one but it can pretend it's 10 different seperate things when it comes to its pages)

 

in the dream everything is false namely in the process of disappearing

ego is more false than most, it rears its head as you only when in the contracted state of fear

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What is ____, what about ____, but there’s ____, etc. All filling in of all blanks is of one simple ‘category’… it’s a thought (that there is _____ ). Hence, meditation… awakening. 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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