Husseinisdoingfine

Abused because of being too meek?

17 posts in this topic

I was never a confrontational person. I would never intentionally begin conflict with others, n'or would I ever even raise my voice. This has costed me a lot personally as people would feel as if they have been given the green light to simply take my things. I would confront the thef, and they would simply deny taking my things. 

Looking back on my life, I should have stood up for myself. Whenever I received abuse/neglect from my parents, classmates, teachers, I should have at least yelled back. Not doing this has costed me so much. Even Jesus Christ himself flipped tables. 


لا إله إلا الله، وليو رسول الله

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Read the book called Not Nice. 

https://www.amazon.ca/Not-Nice-Pleasing-Speaking-Unapologetically-ebook/dp/B076VVH14M

I am learning the balance of assertiveness vs aggression. I found as I started trying to stand up for myself more, I would over do the aggression aspect. There is a lot of nuance in being assertive, and if you are a people pleasure like I am then it might feel wrong and gross, dangerous and even immoral but, It's an important pill to swallow. 


"Now here's the Sun and it's alright, Now here's the Moon and It's alright..But every-time you close your eyes... Lies" -Arcade Fire Rebellion

Personal Growth Vlog - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzVkdPNRrNT7SN1aoco2MdA

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't beat yourself up for that. Try this, it works. Imagine having had a childhood where you did stand up for yourself. See how that feels in your body. And play with this as often as possible. In other words give the past versions of you what they wanted, and notice how your identity in the present begins to shift. It's kind of like overwhelming your past with infinite love. Works like a charm, because you are the creator of your life after all. And if infinite love is the case anyway, why not make use of that fact to speed up the healing process.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Read the book no more mr nice guy by robert groover.after that get into robert greene books

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Paradoxically, being more calm and relaxed actually makes you more dominant. Fear of speaking out or standing up for yourself comes from an anxiety response. Anxiety comes from your mind being clouded by the fear of potential future consequences. Being calm clears your mind so you can approach future consequences more rationally.


To balance beauty and complexity so perfectly is a divine mystery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Husseinisdoingfine I swear i feel the same. My teacher when i was in 4th grade , I was a submissive daughter and obliging student. I even gave her an apology note, it's as if I was sorry my whole life for beimg alive.

Anyway i've no quarrel or bitterness. It is what it is. I wish I can stand up for myself and im patient to do so soon, at least my family know this for sure I try to speak my mind. Sometimes, i dont really know if I really have a voice and is it me just trying to make up for what i didnt have? What I couldnt do? :(

In a way, I am not tomorrow or yesterday. I am now, this nanosecond. 

That's all which matters now o.O

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, Wilhelm44 said:

Don't beat yourself up for that. Try this, it works. Imagine having had a childhood where you did stand up for yourself. See how that feels in your body. And play with this as often as possible. In other words give the past versions of you what they wanted, and notice how your identity in the present begins to shift. It's kind of like overwhelming your past with infinite love. Works like a charm, because you are the creator of your life after all. And if infinite love is the case anyway, why not make use of that fact to speed up the healing process.  

wow, this is remarkable advice. I will also give this a shot. Thank you,,

and thanks @Husseinisdoingfine for this post, relatable ❤

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@sara373  Here Leo explains in detail the process of giving yourself what you always wanted. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Husseinisdoingfineif you look it objectively life is shit. 

In my country there have been a person that was killed by bullies in university. I don't even know if bullies went to prison cause it's said that they knew some politicians and they didn't even got them in jail after becoming national news or maybe now after so many years they got to prison.

So it's not about taking stuff and you doing nothing. Many times is just life. Some people protect themselves from bullying and get killed by the bully that ends up in jail. 

All that being said you should protect youself. When I don't like people around me I have a don't ef with me face and if they ever do something I probably will hit them hard. But that's me, I don't advocate to do the same, I advice you to protect yourself and if anyone ever does any harm to me and can't do something, I will find other ways. That's all. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@sara373my best friend got slaped so many times by the teacher for some stupid reason. I don't think he could stand for himself. Probably cause he was very very tall male and she was a female she felt she needs to be superior or something. I avoid telling these kinds of stuff cause I get warnings by forum by telling the truth that isn't liked by mainstream society. 

That student couldn't stand for himself. We grew in a culture and in a place that abuse was supposedly a good thing and you deserved it when happened. It wasn't like grown ups were sadists with very low consciousness that loved exercising these stuff.

Sometimes things are just sit, and that's it. What would he do to the teacher? scream at her to get slapped more? All he did and it was right, he brought his mother to complain.

There are places on earth that just declaring you don't believe in some religion will get you killed. You can't stand for yourself. So don't feel you or hussein that did something wrong. It was only normal although sick. The more bad a country is the more people like them get away with these things. 

My best friend became a person that whatever authority tells him he always does, that's his real life job anyway, and it's really sad, he just hasn't the sense of freedom many other people have although independent. He always tries not to get to confornations. That's what these kind of tortures makes to people, I don't even call it abuse, I call it torture. 

I have similar stories on my own.

Sometimes life is sit, try to improve yourself and don't think that you could do any different. Maybe you could, maybe not, and that's ok. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

12 hours ago, eaaaeaeae said:

 

In my country there have been a person that was killed by bullies in university. 

And I though I had it bad...

Situations like this is precisely why I think every adult, responsible, man should conceal carry a handgun before going anywhere. If not that, than learn martial arts.

I hear good things about the Guardian .380 ACP

Edited by Husseinisdoingfine

لا إله إلا الله، وليو رسول الله

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't be to kind nor to respectful, use that very wisely.

George Carlin: "the world is fine, people are f&cked."


Singer

14™

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Don't blame yourself for not standing for yourself, you had your reasons whatever they were good or bad.

But, from now be more aware to it and start to practice assertiveness.

This it's a very important skill in life.

Edited by Alysssa

“My meditation is simple. It does not require any complex practices.

It is simple. It is singing. It is dancing. It is sitting silently”

 OSHO

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Isn’t love a measure of your willingness to suffer? 

The meek shall inherit the earth.

Turn the other cheek.

Love your enemies.

Forgive them, for they know not what they do. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hear controversial opinions about Robert Greene's books (the 48 laws of power). So take it all with a grain of salt, if you decide to read them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

On 04/08/2021 at 5:35 AM, eaaaeaeae said:

 Sometimes life is sit, try to improve yourself and don't think that you could do any different. Maybe you could, maybe not, and that's ok. 

I agree, maybe you could maybe not and that's ok ❤

Edited by sara373

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now