Chris_Esoteric

Accepting The Possibility Of Everyone Hating Me

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Posted (edited)

One of the toughest pills to swallow in life is the fact that, there are a lot of things I can't change! My mind is all over the place. If someone were to post something negative about me on social media, I would spiral into madness. I've been having a difficult time trying to accept the possibility of everyone hating me. If everyone hates me, I'd lose my chances at getting a girlfriend, getting a job, starting my LP and living the dream. I'm worried that the people closest to me my end up resenting me for past mistakes. That's the thing that terrifies me! I want to force myself to accept all outcomes but it seems almost impossible to do so. 

Edited by Chris_Esoteric

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It just means you don't love yourself enough.

When you discover your own innate self-love, you will not care or need the love of others.

All outer love is a pitiful reflection of the Infinite Love within. Dig deep, discover the beauty within.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Nobody can hate you as much as you can hate yourself.

The day you realise that you don't need others to fill you is the day you find Freedom.

Freedom is the greatest love.

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. 

Quick access to journal entries

 

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I can relate to hoping or trying to accept all situations, in order to not feel the fear of that. However, not a very good tactic in my estimation. Perhaps better to focus on what you do like, and what does make you feel good instead. Maybe slow down your life, relax and remind yourself that it doesn't really matter what other think. And that when you end up in the place that is right for you/"where you belong", there won't be people there who will judge you.

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Posted (edited)

I am working through this fear. I picked up a lot of shit from the media and cancel culture. I realize that I likely wont ever be that famous though. 

I used to want to be a musician with millions of listeners, but I now realize there is a better way to live.

Though, I am not necessarily done pursuing music either...

But, Yeah I have the fear of rejection, rumours, making mistakes in the public eye etc... Sometimes it cripples me and really hurts. I see some famous asshole in the media make a mistake I am feel it as if I did that thing... Ouch.

I am working on not picking up other peoples shit. 

I also realize, as I have had people accuse me of things publically in the past that it's not as bad when it really happens as the constant fear of living in 'what if???' and then playing mental movies. Almost all the mistakes I make I never foresee before hand.. Like pissing off my last roommate ahahah That came out of nowhere and it wasn't really that bad in the end.

Edited by Thought Art

"Now here's the Sun and it's alright, Now here's the Moon and It's alright..But every-time you close your eyes... Lies" -Arcade Fire Rebellion

Personal Growth Vlog - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzVkdPNRrNT7SN1aoco2MdA

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What about accepting the possibility that people actually like you? Could that be true? Hmm?

I've come to the realisation over time that most people are indifferent to me. Invisibility is a fate worse than hate. However, to make up for that sob story, I have plenty of people in my life that like me or even love me in their own fashion. And I'm just your regular average human, nothing spectacular, nothing outstanding.

3 hours ago, Chris_Esoteric said:

I'm worried that the people closest to me my end up resenting me for past mistakes.

Yeah. I've made a ton. People get over it and forgive you.


Consiousness is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is.

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@Chris_Esoteric Hi Chris, I would suggest you take a look at some of the false negative beliefs you have accepted as true about yourself. Look into Byron Katie's work when you have time.  

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Posted (edited)

@Leo Gura Very Good Points! Shouldn't I care about what other people think of me in some situations? When finding the right job or a girlfriend, for instance!

Edit: I want to train myself to let go and accept any outcomes or possibilities life throws at me. At the same time, i'm struggling with the notion of being resented and looked down upon. Hypothetically speaking, if the entire world hated me, that would mean, I'd lose any chance I have at building an LP, getting a GF and Living the dream. So that's what worries me!

Edited by Chris_Esoteric

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Posted (edited)

@Chris_Esoteric accepting all outcomes is probably the most difficult path to choose if outcomes are important to you. in a way you‘d need to give up constructing any part of your world - which is practically impossible, as even if you do you‘ll still construct but maybe in a more subtile consuming and flat way still creating karmic suffering.

although it‘s practically impossible to really control outcomes - as the clinging to control outcomes is exactly that which creates more karmic suffering.

in this dilemma being aware on how that happens and trying to stick to positive karma letting go of the creation of suffering step by step is probably closer to what you search for than to accepting all outcomes (those you control and those you can’t).

in this attempt you will still create suffering - but in a more wu wei.

Edited by mememe
*in some sense the controling of outcomes is an illusion anyways - it’s only always an offering to your inner sanctuary.

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@Chris_Esoteric Fuck this made me laugh haha. Take a breath. Everything is okay. Universe in, universe out. Now pause for a moment before you chase the cheese. Stay grounded. Stay firm. Done. Dominated.


꧁◍❅◍❅◍❅◍❅◍(¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.->     𝒳    >-.¸¸.·`¯´·.¸¸.·`¯( ◍❅◍❅◍❅◍❅◍꧂

▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ ▉  𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖔𝖘 ᥴ᥅ꫀꪖꪻ꠸ꪜ꠸ꪻꪗ  ▉ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂ ▁

ℝ ⁼ ᴬ¹ 𝕩 ᴬ² > 𝕊^ᵂ < ᴿ~ ⁼ ᴹ ⁽ⁱⁿᶜˡᵘˢⁱᵛⁱᵗʸ⁾

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@Chris_Esoteric No problem and if my great wisdom above wasn't enough to be graced with from the high mountains of rock hard abs I have more that is staring you straight in the, pun, eye (see below).

Focus on the understanding of any one of those three quotes in your signature or in combination with as much God like intensity as you possibly can and I assure you, Christ himself will come knocking on your doors of perception touching you with his compassionate femininity graced by the great Mary herself.

Focus on the true meaning of that "I" by the way, which hardly anyone knows but I do as I figured it out myself without having to read any books I just know by intuition it wouldn't mean anything more significant or their significant is less, which is simply, you have an "I", consciousness, that is precisely synonymous to the reality "I".

The all seeing eye is synonymous to your single eye, reality sees itself through you. That triangle would be analogous to representing the house of the psychology within the eye, that sun, representative of the truth that the eye is in relative to of course, reality (as best as we can the all seeing eye and single eye is a path of life mastery : I figured this out by myself, again with zero research so take it with a grain of salt but I doubt I'm far from the right answer).

DO THIS. I FUCKING MEAN IT (it will work - this is a variant of mental alchemy).

I say that with passionate inspiration for you, zero anger.

If you do this for 30 minutes with all your might and the calmest mind and come back to me saying it had zero positive effect on you I vow right now that this will be my last message of any sort on this site.

Mary's virgin Jesus slain by God of the 21st over and out (this version is more cut throat and ruthless as they say it, I don't parse with those words in conversation usually though).


꧁◍❅◍❅◍❅◍❅◍(¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.->     𝒳    >-.¸¸.·`¯´·.¸¸.·`¯( ◍❅◍❅◍❅◍❅◍꧂

▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ ▉  𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖔𝖘 ᥴ᥅ꫀꪖꪻ꠸ꪜ꠸ꪻꪗ  ▉ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂ ▁

ℝ ⁼ ᴬ¹ 𝕩 ᴬ² > 𝕊^ᵂ < ᴿ~ ⁼ ᴹ ⁽ⁱⁿᶜˡᵘˢⁱᵛⁱᵗʸ⁾

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On 7/24/2021 at 10:54 AM, Chris_Esoteric said:

post something negative about me on social media,

Oh man there was another post like this yesterday. Pandemic Isolation + Social Media = Depression

Stay away, or better yet: use social media to start or to promote your biz. Focus on something else instead of that gossip BS

 

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@Arcangelo I removed Social Media a long time ago! I'm afraid that there might be some photo of me lurking around online that might give people the wrong message. In other words, a person can frame me to be something I'm not! I've been stressed out about that, lately. I don't like to share too much, though! I'm never returning to social media, ever again.

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If this is a central problem for ya, I'd check out the Four Agreements book by Don Miguel. One of the agreements is "Don't Take Anything Personally" and the explanation for it may affect you potently.

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I've been thinking about this lately. Chances are, we aren't going to become politicians or something and honestly, in this age theres so much shit floating around I think people are pretty sensitized. I think just chill, that sounds like a gremlin to me.


"Now here's the Sun and it's alright, Now here's the Moon and It's alright..But every-time you close your eyes... Lies" -Arcade Fire Rebellion

Personal Growth Vlog - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzVkdPNRrNT7SN1aoco2MdA

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I would like to share one experience here and get your opinion. On my current job (I work as a cybersecurity engineer) I really like my job; I have been working on this industry for about eight yeas now, but I have seen a lot of corruption coming from my management. I can say without fear that my second line management boss is deeply stuck on an orange state, he only cares about numbers and she is very egocentric and narcissistic; recently there was a point on my career where he started to retaliate the whole team where he said he is not going to tolerate mistakes on our job, but also he is demanding us to achieve three IT certifications per year and if we fail one of then we immediately go on a “blacklist.” All my coworkers are aware of the problem and all of them were afraid to speak up, so I raised my concern to global HR. I stopped giving authority to the hierarchy system on the company and fought for my coworker’s mental health and made this appeal grounded on my values fighting corruption based on the truth. Of course, this affected my second line manager ego so much that I am started to being hated by all the manager as they start to feel threated. The company told me I should not feel that I will lose my job or anything like that as the company values would not permit that, however I feel that I am being hated by the sarcastic comments they use and the tone of voice they use when they refer to me. I feel fine because I made the right thing.  However, how do I cope with the not only the possibility but the fact that these people are now hating me. Any comments, insights, or feedback about this situation would be highly appreciated. I am not looking for a solution, just some perspectives.

Regards,

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On 7/24/2021 at 0:54 PM, Chris_Esoteric said:

The belief: “there are a lot of things I can't change!” = mind is all over the place.

That belief is discordant and must be let go. It can’t be accepted, because it is discordant, like a square peg can’t be ‘accepted’ by a round hole. 

On 7/24/2021 at 0:54 PM, Chris_Esoteric said:

If someone were to post something negative about me on social media, I would spiral into madness. I've been having a difficult time trying to accept the possibility of everyone hating me. If everyone hates me, I'd lose my chances at getting a girlfriend, getting a job, starting my LP and living the dream. I'm worried that the people closest to me my end up resenting me for past mistakes. That's the thing that terrifies me! I want to force myself to accept all outcomes but it seems almost impossible to do so. 

There is a certain righteousness, arrogance, in believing you know what anyone else is thinkin. Ya don’t. You can not ‘accept all outcomes’ because there is never a direct experience of ‘all outcomes’, or even of any ‘outcomes’. This place is a continuum. There is no ‘done’, and there is no ‘off button’. What you’re wrestling with is not what someone or anyone else thinks, it’s judgement. 

Above the tree of the knowledge of good & evil, right & wrong, God hung a flaming sword. The sword is the truth which cuts through all beliefs, and the flame is the burn of the suffering felt for believing you know what is right & wrong, good & bad. This sword points to the tree of life, as in, your life. When you take focus off what feels discordant to you (the belief you’re a clairvoyant psychic mind reader with precognition) and apply focus to what you actually want, your reality becomes it. 

The mind all over the place is the mind ignoring feeling. 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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