Daphnedenninghoff23

The path of love

105 posts in this topic

Just now, Hulia said:

This is what you think?

Don't know what to think. 

I beleive it's better for me not to think. 

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@Hulia Stop it, it is Forum of most spiritual of 'em all. We have our thread. 

You do realize I will dominate and take over every single thing so let these people enjoy their debates. 

Have to complete path if love myself. Still lacking porsches. 

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Monday my partner had his experience with the other girl. He learned a lot that night. He had this idea in his head that he should be a typical macho man. But he could only actually do anything that night after having an honest and vulnerable conversation with the girl. She knows about me, I know about her. She knows about our whole situation. 

After he came home, my partner and I talked. I felt what I needed to feel. I felt it fully, consciously. But I did not project. 
I had to work right away. Which was not that great actually. I felt like I needed time to introspect and to talk to my partner more.

The only thing I felt when he told me everything was a slight feeling of hurt. Later I realized it was also because I had to go to work, and I preferred staying home and talking. Leaving to work after he just explained what happened did not feel that great.

When I came home from work, this hurt just left. After work, we talked more, and it was lovely. The girl he slept with is actually a very smart and beautiful girl. I asked if I could see a picture of her. She is also interested in psychology and self-development. I honestly just feel kindness towards her. 

So, now a full day has passed. And I feel very open like my heart expanded even more. 

This experience has not made me loveless. In fact, it has made me love more. It has expanded my ability to love in ways I never imagined. 
Also of myself. I feel like I am loving parts of myself that I never thought I could. One big act of love that I am able to do so much more of now is to soften when feeling uncomfortable. To remain open. Normally when I feel pain or discomfort, I harden, contract, close off, and just react. This manifests in blaming, projecting, or just neurotically trying to make the feeling go away. 

It's interesting to see how awareness and openness can change your whole relating to your own emotions. 

I also realized that much of our fears have to do with dealing with not knowing what the future will bring. We try to fill in the gaps by projecting our fears into the future. This gives us a sense that we know what might come. But we can't possibly know. This insecurity is part of the adventure. 

When we relax into the present moment and remain open and flexible, we will see that life just happens as it should happen. You develop a different kind of trust. I think it's also trusting in yourself. In your own ability to deal with whatever comes. But also trust in that whatever appears is supposed to appear.

In the end, I feel like this experience has brought me close to myself, but also closer to my partner. 

What the future will bring, I don't know. 

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@Daphnedenninghoff23 So, what was his experience? Did he enjoy sex with the other girl? Is he going to date her? Or is he going to try to have sex with yet another girl? 

What was the result of you guys talking about this experience? 

 

 

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Posted (edited)

22 minutes ago, Vzdoh said:

@Daphnedenninghoff23 So, what was his experience? Did he enjoy sex with the other girl? Is he going to date her? Or is he going to try to have sex with yet another girl? 

What was the result of you guys talking about this experience? 

 

 

Well, as I said, the experience was a lot different than he expected. He went to her quite tense and disingenuous. But was faced with himself and he realized that he could only enjoy with her if he related to her in an honest and open way. Yes, he enjoyed having sex with her. No, he is not going to date her. But he will see her again actually. We both agreed that we feel he has a lot to learn about women, sex, and himself. 

He said, right now he doesn't feel like having sex with anyone else. He said that this was already such an intense experience that it would be too much to go through this with another girl. Fantasy and reality are often very different. Haha. 

I asked him, cause I was also curious of course about what changed after his experience. He said he mostly felt humbled down a lot. And realized so many ideas about masculinity are really not healthy or true. 

He said he realized that he found it interesting that he loved me more than ever also and he really appreciated me more because of what happened. And also that he found me more attractive. Which I find very interesting too.

The result of us talking is I guess a deeper understanding of what happened. We observe and look at what happened, how he was feeling, how I am feeling. We talk to understand and to also point out things to each other that we might be unconscious of. 

 

 

 

Edited by Daphnedenninghoff23

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