Daphnedenninghoff23

The path of love

105 posts in this topic

1 hour ago, flowboy said:

The Universe... God... whatever you prefer to call it.

Trust that if you let go completely, and stop ALL egoic control, that what happens then, is exactly how it should be, and for the good of all.

 

That probably feels wrong to you. And as me, in my ego, in my personal situation, it feels a bit wrong/scary too.

But perhaps you can glimpse how freeing it would be. To not have to control anything anymore, and trust life to take care of you.

 

I can't speak for OP, just giving my own interpretation here.

This!

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If you can let go of him so much in this way, why not just let go of the relationship completely? Seems that you do still have some attachment to him..
Why not go your own way and see how your own life changes? why keep the attachment to the relationship?  It seems more like a test to your own sanity to see how much suffering you can take from whatever actions he does. Be mindful of causing unnecessary emotional pain to yourself. 

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1 hour ago, flowboy said:

The Universe... God... whatever you prefer to call it.

Trust that if you let go completely, and stop ALL egoic control, that what happens then, is exactly how it should be, and for the good of all.

 

That probably feels wrong to you. And as me, in my ego, in my personal situation, it feels a bit wrong/scary too.

But perhaps you can glimpse how freeing it would be. To not have to control anything anymore, and trust life to take care of you.

 

I can't speak for OP, just giving my own interpretation here.

It would be nice if the guy can also do this freeing exercise and let  his girl fuck other men.

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

Quick access to journal entries

 

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1 hour ago, Emerald said:

That would be ideal. But it is what it is.

Also, I think what you said about letting a man go so that he can have the sexual experiences he feels he needs to have is another good method of approach. That’s where I’d be at this point in my life if I were in this scenario.

Just give him some time and space to do what he needs to do.

And if he comes back later, then conversations can be had between the two of us about whether or not the relationship is something to revisit.

 That's all possible. Yes.

43 minutes ago, Tangerinedream said:

If you can let go of him so much in this way, why not just let go of the relationship completely? Seems that you do still have some attachment to him..
Why not go your own way and see how your own life changes? why keep the attachment to the relationship?  It seems more like a test to your own sanity to see how much suffering you can take from whatever actions he does. Be mindful of causing unnecessary emotional pain to yourself. 

It's very simple: Because I love being with him. One day I might say: right now I feel that the best thing to do is to leave. Thankyou for the lessons. Maybe we meet again. 

But I don't have that. So I don't.

It seems like you are assuming I am suffering greatly. To be honest I never was better in my entire life. 

31 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

It would be nice if the guy can also do this freeing exercise and let  his girl fuck other men.

 

I could, If I wanted to. 

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@Daphnedenninghoff23 Yup, you got it.

That's true Love.

Just keep in mind that Love does not guarantee any positive survival result for your finite self. So be careful. How much Love can you handle?

The trick to this work is loving as much as you can, but not so much it physically destroys you.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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40 minutes ago, Daphnedenninghoff23 said:

It's very simple: Because I love being with him. One day I might say: right now I feel that the best thing to do is to leave. Thankyou for the lessons. Maybe we meet again. 

But I don't have that. So I don't.

It seems like you are assuming I am suffering greatly. To be honest I never was better in my entire life. 

For someone who hasn´t much experience with women he is a rather sneaky guy. A natural! :)

 

 

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29 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Daphnedenninghoff23 Yup, you got it.

That's true Love.

Just keep in mind that Love does not guarantee any positive survival result for your finite self. So be care. How much Love can you handle?

The trick to this work is loving as much as you can, but not so much it physically destroys you.

my take

one person is sufficient in some cases but not necessarily enough in all cases

that person needs to be pretty special and remarkably advanced if they are all you need to traverse to the other shore

in many cases what is required as the Beatles aptly put it it is love, love love ... 

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33 minutes ago, Hulia said:

For someone who hasn´t much experience with women he is a rather sneaky guy. A natural! 

Or maybe he's a regular guy, capable of above average introspection and self-honesty, who was lucky enough to find a radically open-minded woman, looking to grow with him.


I help adults with ADD to overcome self-doubt, function optimally and live their dreams through my proprietary coaching program.

https://calendly.com/erik-coaching/add-coaching-free-strategy-consult

Besides that, ♂ I offer single breakthrough calls for men on social life, dating, relationships and sexuality.

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33 minutes ago, Hulia said:

For someone who hasn´t much experience with women he is a rather sneaky guy. A natural! :)

 

 

yea her fantastic rapport and deep understanding and great place in life is all to with the grandness of the guy she is with ...

wait, run that by me one more time

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4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Daphnedenninghoff23 Yup, you got it.

That's true Love.

Just keep in mind that Love does not guarantee any positive survival result for your finite self. So be care. How much Love can you handle?

The trick to this work is loving as much as you can, but not so much it physically destroys you.

Yessssss. Just yesss.

It seems like insanity to not do this. I am aware that it does not guarantee any positive survival result for your finite self. But It has to be like this. 

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23 minutes ago, Daphnedenninghoff23 said:

Yessssss. Just yesss.

It seems like insanity to not do this. I am aware that it does not guarantee any positive survival result for your finite self. But It has to be like this. 

he grows you grow he loves you love if seemingly vicariously love is love

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38 minutes ago, flowboy said:

Or maybe he's a regular guy, capable of above average introspection and self-honesty

Really? :)))) Fucking around while being in a relationship is a prove of "above average introspection and self-honesty"? 🤣

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35 minutes ago, Daphnedenninghoff23 said:

Yessssss. Just yesss.

It seems like insanity to not do this. I am aware that it does not guarantee any positive survival result for your finite self. But It has to be like this. 

Then that is your spiritual path.

It is a beautiful thing if you can manage to handle it.

Namaste.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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17 minutes ago, Hulia said:

Really? :)))) Fucking around while being in a relationship is a prove of "above average introspection and self-honesty"? 🤣

If you really can't spot the difference between regular old fucking around (cheating) and the spiritual practice that these people have chosen, then ... it's probably pointless for us to keep talking about this.

You do you;)


I help adults with ADD to overcome self-doubt, function optimally and live their dreams through my proprietary coaching program.

https://calendly.com/erik-coaching/add-coaching-free-strategy-consult

Besides that, ♂ I offer single breakthrough calls for men on social life, dating, relationships and sexuality.

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5 minutes ago, flowboy said:

If you really can't spot the difference between regular old fucking around (cheating) and the spiritual practice that these people have chosen, then ... it's probably pointless for us to keep talking about this.

You do you;)

Let´s make it clear: She is the one doing spiritual practice. And he is just fucking around.

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1 minute ago, Hulia said:

Let´s make it clear: She is the one doing spiritual practice. And he is just fucking around.

This! :D


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

This! :D

That´s why I wouldn´t make it too easy for him. A guy needs a challenge. :)

 

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1 minute ago, Hulia said:

That´s why I wouldn´t make it too easy for him. A guy needs a challenge. :)

Certainly be careful not to indulge devils. Especially a devil who sleeps in your bed :D


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Posted (edited)

1 hour ago, Hulia said:

Let´s make it clear: She is the one doing spiritual practice. And he is just fucking around.

See this is where your perspective could use a bit of nuance. If he would just be fucking around, that means that he would have done it, whether she would have allowed it or not. That's clearly not the case. And he's still practicing self-honesty and introspection, if you look at how he analyses his own thought process.

It's true that the spiritual practice is the most challenging for the other person, not the one going on the date.

But so what?

Does everything have to be fair, in this simple, one-dimensional way, where "He gets this, so she must get this"?

We are not children anymore, demanding the same ice cream that our sister got.

Would you have OP have sex with other people if she didn't want to?

What's good about that?

 

Healthy relationships are not a transaction. There's no trading.

 

I can see your heart is in the right place though. You don't want to see this woman get hurt. She is definitely getting the most challenging part in this. But she's voluntarily taking it on.

Edited by flowboy

I help adults with ADD to overcome self-doubt, function optimally and live their dreams through my proprietary coaching program.

https://calendly.com/erik-coaching/add-coaching-free-strategy-consult

Besides that, ♂ I offer single breakthrough calls for men on social life, dating, relationships and sexuality.

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