Meditation reveals too much

[lmfao]

Don't know if this is a ranting or rave. I just started meditating small amount daily again these past several days, and I go so off the rails too easily. Thankfully I've calmed a bit down from the very extreme after I last meditated. I've calmed down a bit from whatever dread and catastrophising, grounding myself in the faith I can pierce through, and that "I can exist" ( yes , yes, laugh in my face and tell me I don't exist if you want to, fuck you)

With meditation or whatever spiritual practice, one minute the frame of reference is "Oh boy, I can't wait to watch the match tonight and go out with my friends later" to "MY EXISTENCE IS ON THE LINE, IF NOTHING EXISTS THEN WHO AM I" real quick. 

And of course a lot of it is surges in emotion which come out as well, wherever you want to say they come from. And I was also about to say "Yes, 'spiritual work' can be so very debasing". But since all that can possibly be/is "is what you're facing", that sentence of spiritual work being debasing is meaningless, because it's beyond that. 

"Spiritual work is debasing"... You can have thoughts about your future but they are just that, and so any way to put it is just crap. Ugh, meditation is an awful idea, I recommend it to no one. 

Engage in maya again and make yourself forget the experience and "truth" you find, "That's what I've done before" that thought is off

 

No, maybe this is catalyst for "shadow work" all though idk what or where the fuck a shadow is, because if something is unconscious I can't see it by definition so... Idk whatever. But I change my mind, "meditation is great!" 

Edited July 24, 2021 by lmfao

[Gesundheit2]

1 hour ago, lmfao said:

No, maybe this is catalyst for "shadow work" all though idk what or where the fuck a shadow is, because if something is unconscious I can't see it by definition so... Idk whatever.

A very good indicator for the shadow is the loss of control you experience over your conscious will. Anytime you catch yourself doing something that you consciously know that you shouldn't be doing, you can rest assured that that's your shadow. Addictions, compulsions, urges, laziness, etc... are all signs of shadow possession.

Quote

"meditation is great!"

Absolutely.

Edited July 24, 2021 by Gesundheit2

[Dodo]

5 hours ago, lmfao said:

Don't know if this is a ranting or rave. I just started meditating small amount daily again these past several days, and I go so off the rails too easily. Thankfully I've calmed a bit down from the very extreme after I last meditated. I've calmed down a bit from whatever dread and catastrophising, grounding myself in the faith I can pierce through, and that "I can exist" ( yes , yes, laugh in my face and tell me I don't exist if you want to, fuck you)

With meditation or whatever spiritual practice, one minute the frame of reference is "Oh boy, I can't wait to watch the match tonight and go out with my friends later" to "MY EXISTENCE IS ON THE LINE, IF NOTHING EXISTS THEN WHO AM I" real quick. 

And of course a lot of it is surges in emotion which come out as well, wherever you want to say they come from. And I was also about to say "Yes, 'spiritual work' can be so very debasing". But since all that can possibly be/is "is what you're facing", that sentence of spiritual work being debasing is meaningless, because it's beyond that. 

"Spiritual work is debasing"... You can have thoughts about your future but they are just that, and so any way to put it is just crap. Ugh, meditation is an awful idea, I recommend it to no one. 

Engage in maya again and make yourself forget the experience and "truth" you find, "That's what I've done before" that thought is off

 

No, maybe this is catalyst for "shadow work" all though idk what or where the fuck a shadow is, because if something is unconscious I can't see it by definition so... Idk whatever. But I change my mind, "meditation is great!" 

Don't start with assumption that nothing exists. Thats just someone's teaching that you took for truth. Find out for yourself what is true.

The guidance of good and proper spiritual teachers is used to teach you how to find truth for yourself, not tell you the truth (i.e. nothing exists). 

 

I would suggest from my understanding that you can have the best of both worlds. Play in maya and know yourself through contemplating what remains in deep sleep. 

The ego will remain the ego, a character. That character can never become the truth, because truth already is the case. ❤

So what point is there to try escaping maya/matrix? In dream at night nothing is real and yet I dont seek to get out of it. It wil happen naturally, the dreams end and reality of being remains. And even in the dreams, the reality of You Is. It might be veiled by loudness and noise but its there for anything to be known at all. 

 

I also want to suggest to you that all you do see is unconsciousness. It appears that you think you cannot see unconscious, but actually, just as eye cant see itself, consciousness, you, cannot see yourself, but see everything that is not you - not consciousness is unconsciousness. That includes the human character and its shadow and light.

Now the collapsing of the consciousness, uncosciousness duality is where this mind will abdicate and I will not be able to tell you a logical explanation of how to do it or if its possible. 

Try not to overthink, I know I do sometimes so can appreciate what you're going through.

 

 

 

 

Edited July 24, 2021 by Dodo

[lmfao]

15 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

A very good indicator for the shadow is the loss of control you experience over your conscious will. Anytime you catch yourself doing something that you consciously know that you shouldn't be doing, you can rest assured that that's your shadow. Addictions, compulsions, urges, laziness, etc... are all signs of shadow possession.

 

Okay 

@Dodo Yes, won't start with that assumption. Thanks Dodo Bird