WonderSeeker

Tips for pick-up in smaller cities?

14 posts in this topic

I live in a city of about 43,000 people. Most people will read that and say "But sir, that ain't no city!" I digress. 

For those with real-world experience in more limited locations, what's your advice? Admittedly, I've only just started practicing, having conversations with a few women so far. The vibe has been good and positive, but all of them have boyfriends.

Also, I haven't tried night-game yet, only day-game. How would you change your behavior from day-game to better align with how women behave at night? 

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Move


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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3 hours ago, WonderSeeker said:

How would you change your behavior from day-game to better align with how women behave at night? 

Alcohol lol.


"Your mind can never change, unless you ask it to. Lovingly rearrange, the thoughts that make you blue."

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Find spots in your area with a lot of foot traffic and go there also for night game you have to be more loud and expressive you cant be as chill and laid back as day game, your not going to get a lot of engagement 

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You can move or learn social circle game, which is how most normies get laid. 

The idea is making friends, and then being introduced to your friend's friends. And then to your friend's friend's friends. Until you find a cute single girl that you like and is available. 

More tapdancing around the problem and more effort but it's not alarming in small cities where everyone knows you. 

Just move i'd say. 


Certified lazy skeptic and armchair philosopher

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Posted (edited)

Problem with doing pickup In small town is that word gets around fast, and girls will learn fast about the new pickup guy on the block. Better to form a social circle, otherwise you’ll stand out as a lone guy trying to pull women.. 

just adding that also most people will partner up quickly in smaller towns from social circle. hence most girls having bfs.  In big cities more people are single because they lack social circle.  That’s why also harder to find a bf/gf when living in a big city since most people have moved there alone etc. 

Edited by Tangerinedream

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Posted (edited)

2 hours ago, mmKay said:

You can move or learn social circle game

This is very accurate, these are your two options.

If you want to practice pickup techniques, experiment with different approaches, and teach yourself flashy ways to meet people, like the "hand of God", "the claw", and the kiss opener, well, can't do that here. That would be shitting where you eat. Word will get around that you're that weirdo.

If you keep living where you live, all you can do is build up your life and build up your reputation, just by getting to know a lot of people. If you do that well, some girls will come to you and make it very obvious that they are available to you. Those, you can hit on directly. The rest, you should mainly just make friends and network with.

If you do cool stuff that people will talk about, like play in a band or organize events, or simply have a wild personality, you'll attract more people and thus more women. But if you use them, and hurt their feelings a lot, you'll get a reputation and social consequences.

It's almost like a more natural process, where if you do well within a community, the community will organically assign you some women.

Edited by flowboy

I help adults with ADD to overcome self-doubt, function optimally and live their dreams through my proprietary coaching program.

https://calendly.com/erik-coaching/add-coaching-free-strategy-consult

Besides that, ♂ I offer single breakthrough calls for men on social life, dating, relationships and sexuality.

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Posted (edited)

@Leo Gura @mmKay Moving is not an option for me. I'm not sure if this will change anything, but I'm a college student in a college town. In the fall there will be a huge influx of people. 

8 hours ago, mmKay said:

You can [...] learn social circle game, which is how most normies get laid. 

The idea is making friends, and then being introduced to your friend's friends. And then to your friend's friend's friends. Until you find a cute single girl that you like and is available. 

I've never tried networking before. I'm kicking myself for not asking for Instagrams from the women I've approached because even though they had bf's I could sense that they were still into me.

5 hours ago, flowboy said:

If you want to practice pickup techniques, experiment with different approaches, and teach yourself flashy ways to meet people, like the "hand of God", "the claw", and the kiss opener, well, can't do that here. That would be shitting where you eat. Word will get around that you're that weirdo.

If you keep living where you live, all you can do is build up your life and build up your reputation, just by getting to know a lot of people. If you do that well, some girls will come to you and make it very obvious that they are available to you. Those, you can hit on directly. The rest, you should mainly just make friends and network with.

If you do cool stuff that people will talk about, like play in a band or organize events, or simply have a wild personality, you'll attract more people and thus more women. But if you use them, and hurt their feelings a lot, you'll get a reputation and social consequences.

It's almost like a more natural process, where if you do well within a community, the community will organically assign you some women.

This is good advice, thanks. 

I've only just started "pickup" and done only a couple of approaches. Both said they were seeing people but were open and really added to the conversation. I get what some of you are saying about "word getting out about this pickup guy," but I feel like that might discourage me from trying. Plus, I'm genuine in my interactions. I am not trying to be this pimpy player-dude, so I don't think it will come off the wrong way, whether it's with individuals or the social community at large.

But I'm still a noob at this, so what do I know?!

Edited by WonderSeeker

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1 hour ago, WonderSeeker said:

Moving is not an option for me.

Yes it is. It's always an option.

Quote

I'm not sure if this will change anything, but I'm a college student in a college town. In the fall there will be a huge influx of people.

Dude, college is like being inside a nightclub all year round with none of the distractions. It does not get easier than college. Talk to every girl, go to every frat party and social event. What more do you need?

If your college is tiny, transfer to a bigger college.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Currently I live in a city with a population of cca 100,000. There are so many young, beautiful women here it's ridiculous.

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1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Yes it is. It's always an option.

Dude, college is like being inside a nightclub all year round with none of the distractions. It does not get easier than college. Talk to every girl, go to every frat party and social event. What more do you need?

If your college is tiny, transfer to a bigger college.

For starters, I'm a masters student and writing a book (part of my life purpose) that has to do with the geography I'm in, so I'm probably gonna stay for another couple years before transferring to a bigger city. But I get the idea.

Just a personal note: I'm sorta pissed that I wasted my undergrad not going out and networking more. I had a lot of social trauma when I was younger, so it's been a long time coming in peeling away the layers to get back to my natural, sexual self. My school is 10,000+ and now that I'm getting solid seduction coaching and just beginning to take action, I plan to talk to lots of girls this fall.

27 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

Currently I live in a city with a population of cca 100,000. There are so many young, beautiful women here it's ridiculous.

@ivankiss Where you at? 

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Posted (edited)

1 hour ago, WonderSeeker said:

I get what some of you are saying about "word getting out about this pickup guy," but I feel like that might discourage me from trying.

In a smaller community, it's still good to talk to everyone as much as you like. The difference is that your mindset has to be more geared towards building longer-lasting connections, and valuing the connection with every person you talk to, even if they won't give you sex.

In a large city you can just have a throwaway mindset, where every 'set' that doesn't give you an opportunity to have sex, is disposable waste.

Also, you need to seek alignment with guys. In a large city, women still want to know whether you are aligned well socially, but they have no way of knowing for sure, at least in the beginning. In a smaller community, it will be very obvious if no other guys like or respect you, and women won't be attracted to that.

So don't forget to invest in friendships, and don't try to take people's girlfriends away from them and shit like that.

Edited by flowboy

I help adults with ADD to overcome self-doubt, function optimally and live their dreams through my proprietary coaching program.

https://calendly.com/erik-coaching/add-coaching-free-strategy-consult

Besides that, ♂ I offer single breakthrough calls for men on social life, dating, relationships and sexuality.

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37 minutes ago, WonderSeeker said:

Where you at? 

Maribor, Slovenia. Not for too long tho.

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