SQAAD

This Episode Of Leo Terrifies me

50 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

This is the episode that gave me the biggest scare, shock and upset in my life. Few months ago , every day that i was about to sleep i was experiencing an existential terror for the 1st time in my life. Because i had certain very gore images in my head (of decapitations and sh*t i've watched in the past). Just imagining experiencing some of that sh*t make me shiver

Nowadays this understanding doesn't scare me that much. I mean i am very functional with no problems. But.. still in the back of my mind i don't want to experience many many many many many many things and i am quite  terrified. (Most of the time i don't feel scared though).

I believe that people don't really talk about this issue how to cope with it. Any advice would be appreciated. I would like to know how do other people deal with this issue.

 

Edited by SQAAD

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10 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

how to cope with it.

You don't cope with it.

It kills you.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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It's normal to not want to experience things. That is what allowed us, as a species, to evolve into a dominant force on Earth. Good? Bad? It is what it is :)

Understand that disliking or even abhorring certain things is perfectly rational. If you want to overcome that aversion, however, you'll have to contemplate the thing directly.

What is upsetting about gore? The image of it? The sensation? Focus on these things and realize that they are just images, memories, beliefs, and emotions. There is nothing else there. 

You don't have to be at total peace with everything terrible in the universe overnight. It is a lifelong process of accepting, loving, and coming back to what's really there. 

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You "cope" with it through finishing the work. Become enlightened. Yeah this one is probably one of the most mind fucking episodes of Actualized.org and difficult to integrate. 

How does one finish the work? Hardcore meditation/ manual spiritual practice. Strong determination sitting is particularly powerful because it begins a total rewiring of the conscious mind's relationship with pain into God's relationship with pain, which is that pain is no problem, hence it's actuality, particularly the brutal examples in human history. A deep purification of mind is the only way to truly cope with what this episode points to. 

 

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Yo I was also thinking of sometime making a thread on that. That shit scared me very much indeed. But the thing is that for some reason I believe in past lives since I get recurring thoughts sometimes ever since I was young, existential thoughts, like I'm messing around with reality, and so I was kinda familiar with those thoughts. I still get sometimes the quick insight into being drowning (drowning has to be one of the scariest for me for sure) and burning in WW2 and shit like that. I think about it for like 1-3 seconds and suppress it. Nevertheless, that shit is still scary. But sometimes I just sit with it for a bit, on an extreme it could be some roman slave or something getting his balls squashed by boulders (sorry), gives me a quick trauma, but I feel like it gives me something exsitentially

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I've noticed over the past 2 years that I've developed much more of a sensitivity to gore and extreme violence, to the point where I'm somewhat avoidant of it if I can be.

Contrast to growing up where I could (and wanted) to see pretty much anything without a qualm. A morbid curiosity. I used to browse r/watchpeopledie without ever flinching at anything when it was still running.

I wonder what clicked in me.


"Never held a high regard for Darwin, selection takes too long.
A little kick in the pool shouldn't do us wrong.
Devouring the very last invention man would ever need.
But exponential growth is a frightening thing, indeed.
"

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I understand and love violence on a primitive level, but I still have extreme empathy and cry when watching some stuff.

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3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You don't cope with it.

It kills you.

Rofllll

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Posted (edited)

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You don't cope with it.

It kills you.

@Leo Gura

Daaamn....!! 

Edited by SQAAD

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@OneHandClap

8 hours ago, OneHandClap said:

 

What is upsetting about gore? The image of it? The sensation? Focus on these things and realize that they are just images, memories, beliefs, and emotions. There is nothing else there. 

 

The imaginary terrible/excruciating sensation of it. 

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Posted (edited)

@Roy

7 hours ago, Roy said:

I've noticed over the past 2 years that I've developed much more of a sensitivity to gore and extreme violence, to the point where I'm somewhat avoidant of it if I can be.

Contrast to growing up where I could (and wanted) to see pretty much anything without a qualm. A morbid curiosity. I used to browse r/watchpeopledie without ever flinching at anything when it was still running.

I wonder what clicked in me.

Yeah..i can relate. I remember back when i was an Atheist, i would visit a gore site, and watch very gore content out of curiosity. But..back then i was just a lil creature in the universe, separated by anybody else and when i would die then i would smply not exist. So there was nothing to worry. I was perfectly safe. I had nothing to do with those people on the videos.

So you can imagine the shock you can experience if one day you realise that you were all that terrifying sh*t you've watched. It's an overwhelming surprise for the ego..

Nowadays i also avoid watching gore content because i find that it somewhat traumatizes me. It kinda leaves you with a very mild form of PTSD for a few days afterwards , at least. You never forget the gruesome stuff you've watched. It gets imprinted in your mind for good.

 

Edited by SQAAD

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You are not all those scary things, those things are the Self, you are a human, a small different part of the Self.

And maybe it is helpful to know that there are ways for humans to strengthen themselves now so that they minimize the suffering if they ever end up in a painful situation like that: You can evolve and become like Ramana Maharshi, he didn't seem to be bothered by pain. Or learn how to enter trance-states in which you are separated from the body and don't feel its pain, some spiritual schools teach how to do that. Or you could develop mental strength like a soldier who uses the mind to escape the pain.

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@SQAAD This video has got enlightenment wrong. I’m sure Leo would agree with this. The future is imagination, it doesn’t exist.


"Wanting keeps me from the awareness I already have it. I already am it.” — Byron Katie

 

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11 hours ago, SQAAD said:

Because i had certain very gore images in my head (of decapitations and sh*t i've watched in the past). Just imagining experiencing some of that sh*t make me shiver

This is hard, but nothing compared to a nursing home. If you want to experience the existential terror of being human, go see where they keep the old ones when they are no longer good for anything. Decapitation is 1 minute and done, this shit least for years

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My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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@Seraphim

7 hours ago, Seraphim said:

You are not all those scary things, those things are the Self, you are a human, a small different part of the Self.

 

I am the Self so i AM all those scary things.

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@Nahm

7 hours ago, Nahm said:

@SQAAD

What exactly was so discordant? 

Me not wanting to experience many gruesome things i've seen and the inevitability of it is a tough pill to shallow.

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