melodydanielluna

Dealing with family baggage and childhood trauma while trying to self-actualize

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I have a lot emotional trauma and baggage I am working through, but I can’t seem to let it go, and I feel a great deal of shame for having the baggage at all.  Any advice?


I write pieces that make the reader think.

www.melodydanielluna.com

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Posted (edited)

Become intimate with the shame, not as a mental story but as a visceral, felt sensation in the body - notice exactly where you feel it in your body, and what it feels like in terms of physical heaviness, resistance, etc. Bring your attention to that inner resistance, and allow your body to release it and breathe; as you do so, you might start to feel the arising of other feelings that the shame was actually unconsciously designed to keep you from feeling - this might feel uncomfortable, painful, or even alarming, but it's completely normal, so keep allowing your body to breathe and just allow those feelings to be felt.

Hope this helps.

Edited by RickyFitts

'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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We didn't come here to live perfect lives, we came here to live through the contrast of good and bad, wanted and unwanted and to realize that we are beyond those conditions.

JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter into the story as an orphan raised by people who didn't understand him, with a bank vault full of gold and magical powers hat he never knew he had. This is all of us. We aren't REALLY what we appear to be. We aren't really the boy who doesn't know who he is, we aren't even the boy who DOES KNOW that he has wealth, fame and magical powers, we are the unknown author of the whole story, the creative power behind it. Living through contrast in our lives creates new desires, unique desire. When we see the "why" behind the senseless inexplicable contrast we've lived, we start to channel an unconditional love that has the power to improve the lives of others experiencing the same. We find that we have the power to pave the way for others and we see that others in the past for hundreds of years back have lived and died and paved the way for us. The essence of who they really were IS us and they are still cheering us on, because there are no separate authors. When we tap into the create power that we are, the contrast starts to make sense to us beyond the senses only because we aren't looking AT it anymore, but because we're in our power, and we've gotten out of the way of that power that we ARE it.

There is nothing, NOTHING to be ashamed of. 


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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@RickyFitts Yes, thank you.  That does help.

@mandyjw Thank you, I really appreciate these words.


I write pieces that make the reader think.

www.melodydanielluna.com

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‘Shame’ is the baggage. It’s a belief. 

 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us. 

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? 
You are a child of God. 

Your playing small 
Does not serve the world. 
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking 
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, 
As children do. 
We were born to make manifest 
The glory of God that is within us. 

It's not just in some of us; 
It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, 
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 
As we're liberated from our own fear, 
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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@melodydanielluna You're welcome, glad it was helpful :)


'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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18 hours ago, melodydanielluna said:

I have a lot emotional trauma and baggage I am working through, but I can’t seem to let it go, and I feel a great deal of shame for having the baggage at all.  Any advice?

Counter-intuitively, consider you may be able to "let go" when you accept it and stomach it for what it is. No logical reason to feel shame, most things in our life are out of our control. Especially when we are growing up and at the complete mercy of our parents and other authority figures. Think, how could you blame yourself as responsible for something you didn't and wouldn't choose?

You can be ready to finally "drop" the bags, when you open them up and move through what's inside. Among the rubble and dirt, focus to find what lessons are there to be learned, and use them to build inner strength and resilience. Shame, guilt, and other useless weight emotions shed themselves when confronted by truth and love.

Be careful to take time with this though. Be gentle with yourself and go through the process at the pace you need to.

 


"Your mind can never change, unless you ask it to. Lovingly rearrange, the thoughts that make you blue."

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@Roy  @Nahm  Thank you, to both of you, for your words.

@Roy I worry about the line between healing and ruminating.  What constitutes me working through things vs. what constitutes me just getting stuck on this and taking it on as part of my identity? 

I don't want to have a victim identity.  I know it is toxic.  But at the same time, sometimes I do feel great amounts of pain and shame from my past.


I write pieces that make the reader think.

www.melodydanielluna.com

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12 hours ago, melodydanielluna said:

I worry about the line between healing and ruminating.  What constitutes me working through things vs. what constitutes me just getting stuck on this and taking it on as part of my identity? 

Feeling. What feels like healing? vs What feels like ruminating?

 


"Your mind can never change, unless you ask it to. Lovingly rearrange, the thoughts that make you blue."

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@Roy Interesting.  I mean, I suppose ruminating feels like not getting on with life despite the hardship?  Letting the hardship swallow me and hold me back?  Where as healing is taking time to sit with my feelings when I need to?   I think?


I write pieces that make the reader think.

www.melodydanielluna.com

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8 hours ago, melodydanielluna said:

Interesting.  I mean, I suppose ruminating feels like not getting on with life despite the hardship?  Letting the hardship swallow me and hold me back?  Where as healing is taking time to sit with my feelings when I need to?   I think?

For example when you are healing you might be coming across into new insights about the events that happened, and changing your behavior for the future based on those insights.

Ruminating would just be sitting with things aimlessly, at the mercy of your emotions and the whirlwind of thoughts.

Practice identifying when you are doing which, when the events are recalled.

You'll feel progress being made when you can recall the events in the future with less and less negative emotion, but rather acceptance and confidence that they made you stronger and who you are today :)


"Your mind can never change, unless you ask it to. Lovingly rearrange, the thoughts that make you blue."

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@Roy That’s very helpful, thank you


I write pieces that make the reader think.

www.melodydanielluna.com

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19 hours ago, melodydanielluna said:

@Roy That’s very helpful, thank you

Great. Anytime.


"Your mind can never change, unless you ask it to. Lovingly rearrange, the thoughts that make you blue."

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