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Luna

overly controlling mother

8 posts in this topic

long story short i come from a muslim family but i live in the US.

my mother is controlling. its smothering me. i can't do anything by myself and have anything for my own. but at the same time i can't leave my mother. i am all she has. she will not listen to me if i try to explain to her that i am an adult in my mid 20's i make my own money and go to college. please do not suggest i just "move out" because i will not tolerate the amount of guilt id feel we literally have no one here its just me and her. 

ive been dating this boy for few months and she still doesn't know.. if she finds out i do not know what will happen.

 i dont know. how to deal with this. it stresses me out every day. are the only options i have i either live my life the way she wants or i move out and cut ties with every single person in my family bc no one would talk to me if i left my mom. the stress is so overwhelming ive been trying to figure out what to do but i cant. its getting worse day by day.  

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Consider speaking to a professional. I have been speaking to people over at Betterhelp and I find them really helpful. I have a lot of family issues as well.


"Now here's the Sun and it's alright, Now here's the Moon and It's alright..But every-time you close your eyes... Lies" -Arcade Fire Rebellion

Personal Growth Vlog - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzVkdPNRrNT7SN1aoco2MdA

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@Nahm i have tried to talk to her about this last month because she made me cancel my trip to see my friends. she had a meltdown and told me im becoming too western and i literally lost $700 bc of that.

so yeah i have tried talking to her about this and it ends with a fight every time 

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@Luna

Refrain from contributing to ‘a fight’. It really does take two to tango. Keep calm & cool headed. It becomes clearer she’s judging and maybe vilifying the country she moved to, and shaming you for being like it, for fitting in if you will. Gotta keep calm though. Even if she flips her lid a dozen times, you don’t. You’ll attract what you want. Be patient. You’ll also get ample insight as to how to go about it. Counter intuitive as it may sound, the fastest way to that is letting the situation go from mind completely. 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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@Nahm i definitely contribute to the fight. but i only do that because i feel like i have to fight to get my freedom which obviously is not working. 

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Posted (edited)

@Luna You definitely don't have to fight to have your freedom, in fact, it's holding you down.

Step 1: Do what YOU want, regardless if she likes it or not.

Step 2: When she voices her opinion, most likely in a judgemental, childish way, you just listen and respond calmly (DO NOT get heated up)

Step 3: Respectfully tell her you disagree / don't want to do that / don't want to live that way, and she can either accept you or not. Do not make it a debate, do not try to "be right", just set a boundary, which she is pretty much forced to respect unless she wants the only person in her life to be forced to leave her.

Realize that YOU have the power over your own life, and you DO NOT have to win an argument against your mom or anyone to have the freedom to make the decisions you want.

Edit: I think this video may help you out with your situation. Youtube.com/watch?v=gIHGcsjg15U

Edited by CultivateLove

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