Giulio Bevilacqua

This Kundalini is too much for me.

27 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Really do not know where to start.

It amazes me how some of you can handle the kundalini process by your self. 

Going from a nice and stable life situation to a complete hell was just a second for me, and i really do not know if i can handle this process anymore.

I am not ready for it, it is too much. You can not force a kindergarten child to learn things from a phd master class, it can not work. My body is not prepared. "Oh you are just believing your thoughts " this is really not the case. 

My stomach is in pain, the energy is stuck there since months now, my digestion is horrible. All this spontaneous kriyas are scaring the shit out of me to the point where i just ignore them. I pass my days in my bed and eating when it is necessary. . I loved playing drums and was really passionaate about music and percussion, this does not exist anymore. Do not know if i can pursue something in this life again exept of becoming a heremit. Relationships are gone, friends are gone.

Taking a walk with my dogs is like a great succes in my daily life. "Still alive" 

Living with my mother is so sad beacause i'm making her so worried and surely affecting space with negative energy.

I tried many things and techniques to handel this energy, in hope to get better and live a stable life again. Nothing worked. It seems that no method can help, life is too big to be handled with some shitty energy tools.

I just want to enjoy life again, just simple things, nothing else. Thinking that i have to spend my life expressing this energy kriyas is really not helpful.

When i'm 80 years old maybe i'm enlightened, and watsted a hole life time in shaking and doing weird spontaneous movements just to release stucked emotions. 

I'm 22 years old, wasting the best days of my life, days where i could make experience, travel, have a life purpose,playing music, trekking, haveing a girlfirend. I feel i'm 65 years old, handling a monster that is far more bigger than my strenght and capabilities, I REALLY DO NOT CARE ANYMORE about enlightement, it was the biggest mistake i could do.  

And the funny thing is that i really did not care about kundalini awakening. I do not want this shit. 

Some say, it's divine gift. Yes if you have the necessary conditions and live in a proper athmosphere. I am not ready to leave my family and live like a Yogi in a cave doing weird breath work and yoga.

Please be careful with your practices and spiritual progress if you are not stable or have a weak mind, this can break you apart in one instant if you are not ready

Edited by Giulio Bevilacqua
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I am going through the same exact thing. So much love to you. I do not know what advice to give as I am also going through this. At least we have the forum, each other, and Love– although the Love doesn't really feel there. I totally understand you. 

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I will say though, the darker your abyss the greater your dawn. I know it's hard to care about enlightenment right now. But just remember, "the darkest part of the night is right before dawn". Keep going. I love you. 

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2 minutes ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

@Gianna There is no advice to give anymore. We are left alone with our own hands

I stare at my hands and think, "why are you scaring the shit out of me?" And they look back at me and say, "I am only trying to Love you". 

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Posted (edited)

16 minutes ago, Gianna said:

I will say though, the darker your abyss the greater your dawn. I know it's hard to care about enlightenment right now. But just remember, "the darkest part of the night is right before dawn". Keep going. I love you. 

@Gianna  do not know where to go, seems there is no foward

Edited by Giulio Bevilacqua

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@Giulio Bevilacqua

Dude, check out this youtube channel, this guy also went through a hella intense Kundalini Awakening, apparently. Maybe some of his stuff will be helpful.

https://www.youtube.com/user/mattpallett1

Also, check out this book, it has helped me tremendously:

https://www.amazon.de/Enlightenment-Through-Path-Kundalini-Overcoming/dp/3732388166/ref=sr_1_11?__mk_de_DE=ÅMÅŽÕÑ&crid=1YX0FSKDHD05K&dchild=1&keywords=tara+springett&qid=1626172630&sprefix=Tara+S%2Caps%2C195&sr=8-11
You can also find the book as a pdf or ebook online if you can't afford it right now. You can also pm me and I can help you out with that.

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Posted (edited)

I hear you, my friend, I know how very challenging and frustrating it can. All I can say is that it won't be forever, it may seem like it will be but it won't, and various spiritual practices can help to move the process along if you stick with them.

Edited by RickyFitts

'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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@Giulio Bevilacqua I had pretty mild symptoms, the bliss was way better than any of the mild symptoms. Just don't drink too much coffeine or nicotine or anything that excites the nervous system. If you are on no-fap, you can try to release some energy. If you have physical symptoms, then go to a doctor. Kryias are not only a symptom from Kundalini, but also a sign of nervous system disease, so you should get that checked out.

Relax, it will pass and enjoy the ride.

I recommend the "Awakened kundalini support group" on facebook. They are truly gifted in telling you the right things you need to hear.

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@Giulio Bevilacqua What kind of practices are you performing? 

in my opinion this kind of situations are the resault of incorrect "energy" manipulation. Prolonged concetration at a body part can build this kind of energy in the area, but if you start to feel too much heat or pain you should immediatly stop and de-focus.

Through Kriya Yoga i'm understanding more and more that energy is meant to be tamed and carried at will through the body rather then built in a single spot. Concentration is meant to be the climax your session after intense worming-up.

If you have stomach pains i suggest to research the practice of navi kriya, use it and se if it gets better.

 

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There is no assertion. 

Preparedness or not can not actually be a property of a body, because body is a thought. A label. An illusion. 

Let “spirituality” go. Get yourself some regular old talk therapy. Express and heal therein. 

The emotional scale can be most helpful is working through blame, via realizing it is not actual or actual of you in terms of identity, but is an emotion experienced, and is guidance. Blame is fleeting, the guidance is not. See through the former to realize & be the latter. 

The suffering is only the discordant self referential thoughts & beliefs. There is no actual ‘thing’: “kundalini”, as in, you are not the object to any subject, nor the subject to any object. (“The Kundalini is to much for me”….You be capitalizing the wrong word there brother.)  There is the thought story of causation, there is not an actuality of two. 

Awakening does not create suffering. 
The Truth sets you free. 
You are perfect right now as you are. 
There is nothing wrong with you. 

Go prior to thought, to see you already are. 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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32 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Awakening does not create suffering. 

No, but it's showing you: "here, look what you've been pushing away - yourself"

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Posted (edited)

@Kundalini Cataclysm Thank you. I have seen this guy before. He seems a little bit out of balance to give instructions and guidance for kundalini.

But it's nice too see that he has gone through rough times and survived and shares his experience. He calms very much.

Will for sure check the book. Thank you 

Edited by Giulio Bevilacqua

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1 hour ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

@Giulio Bevilacqua How did this Kundalini process start? What practices did you do? When did it "rise up" into the belly?

Seemen retention. 5 months, sexual desire was gone, masturbation was gone. Was practicing tai chi and qi gong evry day. Slowly the so called "symptoms" appeared. Mudras, body shaking, pain in the stomach solar plexus. 

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1 hour ago, _Archangel_ said:

@Giulio Bevilacqua What kind of practices are you performing? 

in my opinion this kind of situations are the resault of incorrect "energy" manipulation. Prolonged concetration at a body part can build this kind of energy in the area, but if you start to feel too much heat or pain you should immediatly stop and de-focus.

Through Kriya Yoga i'm understanding more and more that energy is meant to be tamed and carried at will through the body rather then built in a single spot. Concentration is meant to be the climax your session after intense worming-up.

If you have stomach pains i suggest to research the practice of navi kriya, use it and se if it gets better.

 

I stopped evry practice. Except for allowing the spontaneous movements to unfold, they really help.

So you mean that by concentration you release energy and can move it at will ? 

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15 minutes ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

Seemen retention. 5 months, sexual desire was gone, masturbation was gone. Was practicing tai chi and qi gong evry day. Slowly the so called "symptoms" appeared. Mudras, body shaking, pain in the stomach solar plexus. 

What was the reasoning to begin semen retention, as opposed to an arguably healthy moderation of masturbation & having sex?  Is sex not an expression, like the mudras, of our being too?  Again, arguably, nothing is more connective. Is a retention sometimes a suppression perhaps, an avoidance of letting something go?

It is often said that all ailments have a spiritually corresponding explanation. For stomach ailment, there is said to be a belief or idea, usually about the separate self, which is held to be true but is not, and thus, is not ‘digestible’. Will vs no will could be such a belief / concept. ‘That I am stuck’ with a situation or circumstance could also be indigestible. 

 


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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42 minutes ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

No, but it's showing you: "here, look what you've been pushing away - yourself"

Exactly.

Imo shadow work is essential for this very reason.

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