StarStruck

Pickup is leading to frustration

126 posts in this topic

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Bullshit

The best guys who go out constantly only sleep with maybe 30 girls per year. 30/year would be master pro level. And to get those 30 they approach 1000+

But what if I am 6'1, pretty, muscular, having an amazing ass, highly intelligent, funny, serious, and confident.

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Posted (edited)

@Javfly33 John Anthony claims to have 150 a year at an advanced level. Idk how accurate that value is though.

However, there are pretty of guys that have 300+ laycounts so i think 30 a year is not that much at an advanced level. Maybe 50 a year would be more realistic especially if you use online dating properly. You can get a lay a month easily from online dating alone if you are good at using it.

Edited by Karmadhi

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3 hours ago, StarStruck said:

So I dated this girl a few times and that exponentially improved my quality of life. I started loving myself. Life was so exciting. I was full of life and extra energy to get shit done. It wasn't even a relationship but simply dating her and receiving love and attention from her healed me a little bit. Now she is using the "I'm busy" line for two weeks and I've lost my source of love. She was really like a sun in the darkness. 

Was this that same blonde?


"Your mind can never change, unless you ask it to. Lovingly rearrange, the thoughts that make you blue."

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28 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Maybe if are in a country like Sweeden where men are usually very shy, your success rate can be higher. Since you have less competition and it's easy to stand out since the other guys are kind of clueless.

Only thing with Swedish guys is that they are unbeliaviable attractive making even a decent looking guy in other countries look like shit.

However from what you described me about them they seem lame so it is balanced i guess.

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5 hours ago, Girzo said:

Was it dates or was it sex? You must be quite attractive and have very good logistics if it was sex.

If I recall correctly I have had sex with like 1 in 5 girls who went on a date with me. But I am also a noob and this ratio can be certainly improved.

But I don't think if want to improve it, having a girlfriend is nice, why chase after new people?

Of course not, it was a date. But if you apply my ratio and down it by maybe 20%, which obviously was coincidentally high (luck of the begginer?), And apply that 1 in 5, that would make more lay count when approaching +1000 on a year than 30 like Leo said. 

7 hours ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Leo's numbers look really solid for me.  

Well that's disappointing, I seriously belief I can make it higher 


A thought can´t ever tell you how you feel.

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9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Bullshit

The best guys who go out constantly only sleep with maybe 30 girls per year. 30/year would be master pro level. And to get those 30 they approach 1000+

leo would you say this applies for an average looking guy or below average? or both. probably with above average the numbers ill be higher. what are your thoughts from ur experiences u seen? 


Rinnerae 

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11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Bullshit

The best guys who go out constantly only sleep with maybe 30 girls per year. 30/year would be master pro level. And to get those 30 they approach 1000+

Well, I’ve talked to a number of experienced successful pickup gurus myself, including Gunwitch himself who not only knew all of the actually had many of his own techniques stolen by all of the RSD guys. 

Which guys told you that 3% success lay rate is the highest that anyone can get?

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2 hours ago, Rinne said:

leo would you say this applies for an average looking guy or below average? or both. probably with above average the numbers ill be higher. what are your thoughts from ur experiences u seen? 

I'm not Leo (obviously), but I consider myself average, verging toward above average (28 years old), and the most women I pulled in one year came while I was living abroad. I'd completely stopped giving any fucks about rejection or even scoring. All I did was go out, talk with plenty of people, and enjoy myself. That "aura" seems to attract more people in the process.

In the end, it is a paradox. The less you actually care about succeeding with sleeping with someone, the higher the likelihood. Women (and to some degree, men) enjoy confidence and a mood-boosting presence. They don't want to spend time with people who are anxious, needy, and self-conscious to the point of being unnatural. 

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1 hour ago, Hardkill said:

Which guys told you that 3% success lay rate is the highest that anyone can get?

It probably depends on what you count as an approach, Leo probably counts everything, even saying hi and girl not giving a fuck at all, an interaction lasting 5 seconds, while someone claiming 20% success rate might be only counting as an approach situations which have turned into an interesting flirty conversation.

3% is the conversion rate I see everywhere repeating in business, sales and marketing. When I was doing ads it was typical for an ad to get that conversion when comparing sales with the number of people seeimg the ad, but counting only the people who had clicked on the ad the conversion would rise to 20-33%

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1 minute ago, Lucas-fgm said:

But I feel that girls in northern Europe think "Italian-looking" guys are more attractive. I remember girls staring at me multiple times especially in the Netherlands. Even gay men hitting on me, multiple times too, the little time was there.

Are you Italian?

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. 

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Just now, Lucas-fgm said:

 

No, but people in Europe used to think I was. But I'm Portuguese descendant. And southern Europeans look very similar.

I'm Portuguese descendant too.

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. 

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Posted (edited)

@StarStruck

You once posted about a girl approaching you, so your looks are probably not the issue.

And in accordance to that, what you said here indicates that you're getting high initial interest (girls think you're attractive), but then you don't keep up with the expectations, and so they lose interest. That means there's something that you're saying or doing, or a certain vibe that you're emitting, probably unconsciously, that's repelling them. So to them, you're basically like a cute clickbait that doesn't match the content of your products. And to fix that issue, you probably should stop the clickbaiting and start being more authentic. Reduce your fake PUA confidence and increase your actual confidence by being detached from the outcome.

Edited by Gesundheit2

Have faith.

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56 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

@StarStruck

You once posted about a girl approaching you, so your looks are probably not the issue.

And in accordance to that, what you said here indicates that you're getting high initial interest (girls think you're attractive), but then you don't keep up with the expectations, and so they lose interest. That means there's something that you're saying or doing, or a certain vibe that you're emitting, probably unconsciously, that's repelling them. So to them, you're basically like a cute clickbait that doesn't match the content of your products. And to fix that issue, you probably should stop the clickbaiting and start being more authentic. Reduce your fake PUA confidence and increase your actual confidence by being detached from the outcome.

Bro, I don't even get the chance to show my authentic self. I can get phone numbers from cuties all the time and they show high enthusiasm, which can't be faked but I guess I don't build enough emotional connection or something.

This is how it goes:

  1. I talk to her like 5-10 minutes. I can see her interest level so I close
  2. I get her phone number and she agrees to get coffee or something
  3. I text her and she flakes or ghost me

This happened numerous times.

The problem could be lack of emotional connection or perhaps they just don't like how I look. If it is the latter I can't do anything, if it is the former I can work on it but to be honest I'm a little bit lazy about it. My therapist says I can't make connections with others if I'm not able to make an emotional connection with myself: that is not easy! I'm emotionally dissociative all my life.


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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@StarStruck Are you disociative in all social relationships? Do you trust people around you? Do you think your circle of friends is a safe space and that it makes you feel good, or would you say it is rather boring or toxic?

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5 hours ago, OneHandClap said:

I'm not Leo (obviously), but I consider myself average, verging toward above average (28 years old), and the most women I pulled in one year came while I was living abroad. I'd completely stopped giving any fucks about rejection or even scoring. All I did was go out, talk with plenty of people, and enjoy myself. That "aura" seems to attract more people in the process.

In the end, it is a paradox. The less you actually care about succeeding with sleeping with someone, the higher the likelihood. Women (and to some degree, men) enjoy confidence and a mood-boosting presence. They don't want to spend time with people who are anxious, needy, and self-conscious to the point of being unnatural. 

The hungry don't get fed. The ones who are not hungry get fed.

4 hours ago, Girzo said:

It probably depends on what you count as an approach, Leo probably counts everything, even saying hi and girl not giving a fuck at all, an interaction lasting 5 seconds, while someone claiming 20% success rate might be only counting as an approach situations which have turned into an interesting flirty conversation.

3% is the conversion rate I see everywhere repeating in business, sales and marketing. When I was doing ads it was typical for an ad to get that conversion when comparing sales with the number of people seeimg the ad, but counting only the people who had clicked on the ad the conversion would rise to 20-33%

I'm calculating my own success rate based on girls who are available. Counting girls who have a bf in the success rate doesn't make sense but at the same time a lot of girls say they have a bf to get rid of you, so it is fishy.

 

8 hours ago, Roy said:

Was this that same blonde?

Yes. Normally she would text me every 2-3 days. Since she cancelled our date (she would come to my place) she doesn't next me any more. When I ask her I get the feeling she doesn't want to see me any more she says "that is not true, I'm just busy", which I know is not true. She has 2 free days per week.

12 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

I think you're being excessively attached and dependent.

Heal yourself. You'll always face this problem if you don't heal your void 

Girls can't be your permanent source of joy and when girls sense that, they'll most likely not want to fill those shoes for you. They'll walk away because they don't want the job of being a love supply for you.

You're starting things on the wrong foot.

 

 

Don't you have the same problem though? I remember that you made a topic about a guy flaking on you. The thing is that this problem that we have is not easy to fix. I already know what m problem is. I just don't know how to fix it.

 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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8 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

@StarStruck Are you disociative in all social relationships?

It depends on my mood but usually yes.

Quote

Do you trust people around you? Do you think your circle of friends is a safe space and that it makes you feel good, or would you say it is rather boring or toxic?

My default state is being reserved and shields up. I can get into high conscious moods but it always goes back to the default the next day. I think it is a lack of frame; not knowing what to feel or what to say. I'm doing some grounding exercises to connect to the body/emotions/feelings/sensations and that helps a lot to get a frame on things.


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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2 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

 

 

 

Don't you have the same problem though? I remember that you made a topic about a guy flaking on you. The thing is that this problem that we have is not easy to fix. I already know what m problem is. I just don't know how to fix it.

 

No. I don't remember approaching a guy in my life ever. So i don't remember being flaked. Maybe it was some other user.

But I was just wondering about your issue.

Consider this possibility -

Maybe the girls simply give their number to you to avoid you in the moment and not because they're genuinely attracted to you. I remember Leo saying this once where a girl giving her number is not the ultimate deal, a lot of them do that to avoid the guy eventually. Maybe they already have the plan to flake on you and they wait till the last moment. This means that enough attraction is not being built. 

It could be that you are always in a hurry to set up date without giving the girl adequate time to decide whether she should turn up. Maybe you immediately close the deal right after a few conversations. A a few preliminary conversations are not enough for the female brain to make a quick decision. She might feel unsure and insecure. Maybe spend more time texting them so they get to know you better. Build some chemistry, talk a lot. After many conversations over days, you develop a rapport with the girl and now you snugly fit into her comfort zone and she would be more likely to want to show up to a date. It could be that your lack of communication makes her feel like you're still a stranger and then she is not able to make up her mind and ends up flaking on you at the last minute. If this is the case, then consider allowing more time before deciding to meet directly.

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. 

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Posted (edited)

@Lucas-fgm That gives me so much hope. I am southern European but i live in Belgium. :P

I have not interacted much with local girls outside of pragmatic conversations since my circle is international since i study in an international university. Plus, locals are quite cold. I had a brazilian girl find me somewhat attractive though  so i guess anything can happen.

Hopefully if i start hitting on locals me being southern european will give me an edge on top of having some decent social skills. Belgian guys are very lame (like 80 percent of them). If you talk to them first, be expressive, make jokes, smile a lot, playfuly tease and touch and act self grouned you will easily be top 20 percent of guys. Maybe even 10 percent.

 

Edited by Karmadhi

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