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How come that girls can be ruthless against nice guys?

256 posts in this topic

@RendHeaven you know, after my most recent romantic experience, and being truly grateful for it, now whenever I read Leo's words about the rabbit and the wolf, it screams loudly in my mind as "Stage Orange."

It just doesn't click anymore. I don't relate to it anymore. It feels animalstic and so devoid of love and affection and graciousness. 

It feels very lacking in sentiment and very savvy and sort of achievement oriented but I don't see love in that anymore.

I guess there's a phase in one's romantic labyrinth where one transcends the stage of attraction and moves towards more wholesome expressions of love, kind of an outgrowing the mad attraction phase.

I think this is a phase (which I guess comes much later and after having been through multiple romantic experiences, sort of a growth, the kind that you experience if you had multiple psychedelic trips, so as you go deeper, you learn some shit that is very defying and mind blowing or simply unbelievable yet this realisation comes like a ton of bricks) where one is searching for more of a "love" based love rather than an "attraction" based love. I'm sort of in that phase and I have decided to stick to it because it feels much more amazing than all this stage Orange attraction game bullshit. 

This stage Orange attraction thing is like a huge wave, whereas the love based romance thing is like a Tsunami. There's simply no comparison.

But you only realize this when you are in it, not from the outside in..

I can tell this much that you gotta experience it to really feel the depth of whatever I'm saying. When you feel it, it's a mind blowing experience. Kinda changed me forever and I'll never look back.

Leo's advice fades in comparison and looks very dull now..

You have to sort of outgrow Leo's advice to know what I really mean and when that happens, you come  back to read what Leo wrote, you would be astounded by its cheapness, your reaction to it  would be on another level because you simply won't relate to it anymore. That's the point of transcendence of all this stage Orange crap 

Yet I'll have to unfortunately admit that the vast majority of the world is still immersed in stage Orange attraction patterns just the way I once was.

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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4 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Why do you always make men and women situation like rabbit and wolf thing ?

Can't a man be a wonderful friend to a woman, a caring protective guide, a leader and companion and she falls in love with his bravery and graciousness and decides to marry him.

Why does it have to be like hunting?

The word hunting makes the relationship between a man and a woman so cheap, low on the SD spiral and so devoid of true love and lacking in integrity and consciousness.

Why can't you look at love as something sacred between a loving  man and a caring woman ?

 

 

I think, Leo was traumatized by rejections in his younger years. And then he learned PU- technique and has become more successful with women. So Leo has become very technical in regard to relationships between women and men. But what he doesn´t consider, that in the time he has learned PU technique, many other things have happened: he has become more mature, confident, wise, more enlightened (he-he). PU technique might be even not the main factor, it might be even like an annoying factor. 

I was in such situations, where the guy applies his technique and you think: What is wrong with this amazing guy? Why does he need this rubbish? And you have a kind of compassion and play his game just to make him feel good: Yeah, dude, you are cool.

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@Preety_India I understand. That was a strong response.

I suppose the takeaway is just to understand that Leo is purposefully coming at it from a narrow "lower" perspective because he is catering to the needs of men who don't understand basic attraction yet. You're right that such a perspective lacks holism when we begin investigating higher degrees of intimacy & connection.

@Peter Miklis She's not wrong per se. We just struggle to see each other's needs :)

Edited by RendHeaven

It's Love.

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@RendHeaven yea exactly that's what I meant. Intimacy, holism, those words.

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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I think a guy can be very nice and also not sexually repressed. One should get out of relationships that are not sexually compatible, pushing is not good. Nothing wrong about that.

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A good way to meet people and build confidence would be by getting a weekend job in bar, this really helped my confidence years ago when I was really shy.  It’s a very good way to talk with lots of different people and form social group with work friends…work nights out there are always the most unlikely hookups going on and you meet all types of people coming in (many types of guys and girls) xD  This means you don’t have to go to bar alone.. you are already there with reason.. I saw many a male collegue take customers numbers or hanging out with them after the shift!

Edited by Thunder Kiss

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@Preety_India 1. Leo learned about how to get girls using PUA stuff, which are stage orange.

2. Most females in developed countries, especially pre 30 are stage orange, therefore orange strategies work best to get them. You cater your strategies to the level of development of the individual you are dealing with. Stage green strategies will get you rejected with orange women.

3. Most females are still slaves to their primitive attraction triggers, very few can transcend them. Most girls especially pre 30 will just follow their emotions like monkeys without stopping and thinking "will this guy treat me well? will the relationship with him make me happy?". It is the equivalent of you eating junk food because it tastes good without ever stopping and thinking if it is actually good for you. When you are looking to get a girl, you cater to the majority of the population, not to 5 percent of super developed conscious people. Especially girls that conscious pre 30 are rarer than a 10/10 hot girl, they lack the life experience to develop such awareness. 

4. Biological attraction itself is very animalistic which tends to be on the lower stages of the spiral. Therefore to properly use it to get a girl, such strategies are useful.

This is not about conscious dating, it is about getting a girlfriend. Just like low conscious business leads to more profit, low conscious dating strategies lead to more girls wanting to be with you.

 

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24 minutes ago, Thunder Kiss said:

A good way to meet people and build confidence would be by getting a weekend job in bar, this really helped my confidence years ago when I was really shy.

Personally, as a guy with slight aspherghers, job in a bar/ as a waiter would fucking kill me lol. Not sure if I would ever attempt to do such a thing.

But yeah, it sure can be a great way to socialize, sure.

Edited by Peter Miklis

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@Karmadhi  I understand whatever you are saying, I used to think that way too but there is a stage where a woman transcends that, age doesn't have much to do with it, it's more about experience. When a woman has a couple of bad experiences, she is more conscious about what she wants, and it's called conscious dating, not just attraction. Men and women who have a sizable amount of experience finally lean towards conscious dating choices especially if they are more consciousness and spirituality inclined. Different people have different needs. No? But generalizing dating as a rabbit wolf setup in my opinion is an error in judgement because not everyone's love story is a wolf rabbit thing. Just because a majority is stage Orange, one shouldn't make that the anthem. There are others as well. A versatile person is open to all sorts of ideas, they aren't stubborn with only one.

I mean the portrayal is a bit unfair, looks like there's a lot of insecurity going on.

To be fair, most women on this website are very conscious and would absolutely not want this rabbit wolf dating and I'm wondering if it translates into irl as well. Why should I think that most women are unconscious? That doesn't make sense. The more women I meet the more I feel like they're oriented to Spirituality and consciousness and they exhibit quite high conscious behaviour and would want a high conscious guy to match their needs and these are young women so this stuff is mind boggling. This doesn't represent the niche I interact with. 

Am I right about the insecurity point?

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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46 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

I think a guy can be very nice and also not sexually repressed. One should get out of relationships that are not sexually compatible, pushing is not good. Nothing wrong about that.

Yea this is another point I wanted to address. There's a stereotype circulating here where people automatically assume that a nice guy is not sexually attractive or only an asshole can be sexually attractive, a very extremist form of thinking. There are so many grey zones where people can be both.

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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@Preety_India You are right, however again it is about the demographic. Overwhelming majority of girls fall for that orange behaviour shit. You cannot use members of this forumn as examples, they are too few. Personally i used to be that guy females here describe and it did not work for me. Most girls reward fun and cocky, not self actualized. Your way of thinking is more evolved but too advanced for most guys to have success if they implement your ways. It is currently too advanced and not practical. Imagine teaching in the middle east people about cultural relativism, that place is not evolved enough for it.

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55 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@Preety_India You are right, however again it is about the demographic. Overwhelming majority of girls fall for that orange behaviour shit. You cannot use members of this forumn as examples, they are too few. Personally i used to be that guy females here describe and it did not work for me. Most girls reward fun and cocky, not self actualized. Your way of thinking is more evolved but too advanced for most guys to have success if they implement your ways. It is currently too advanced and not practical. Imagine teaching in the middle east people about cultural relativism, that place is not evolved enough for it.

@Karmadhi  If it is that way, you just need to find the right person buddy, wish you all the best! :) 

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@bejapuskas I do not think that is a feasable strategy. I will implement orange dating and cast a huge net.

Thank you for the support

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2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Yea this is another point I wanted to address. There's a stereotype circulating here where people automatically assume that a nice guy is not sexually attractive or only an asshole can be sexually attractive, a very extremist form of thinking. There are so many grey zones where people can be both.

 

I mean you've definitely bolstered  this stereotype lol. Few weeks back I called u out for more nuance and u said. "Well the truth is that women just love alphas, and thsts the fact"

Edited by Jacob Morres

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I'm not sure what orange dating is, but I recently had a 25 year old woman ask if she could be my friend after I told her about the "inner child".   Women are very open to spiritual concepts if you explain it in a way that can be understood.


Vincit omnia Veritas.

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18 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

dan bilzerian than have 40 hotties

Dude the guy is a fraud. The girls get paid. They are prostitutes/models

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27 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

Dude the guy is a fraud. The girls get paid. They are prostitutes/models

It's actually ridicilous how some people don't see that. That guy has a personality of a fucking statue. No way those girls hang out with him for free.

Edited by Peter Miklis

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Not saying any of you are wrong technically speaking in certain situations, but be aware that this is some of the most stage orange communication I've seen on this forum. Be aware of that. Be open to the possibility that relationships are NOT about physical attraction or attraction to the "things" others have. It's so much more than that. Besides, we don't need 200 comments for a post this simple. 

Nice guys are deceptive. Stop being deceptive. If you make it through your deceptiveness and find that you are still considered a "nice guy" great! That makes the selection process much easier. 

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2 hours ago, Jacob Morres said:

I mean you've definitely bolstered  this stereotype lol. Few weeks back I called u out for more nuance and u said. "Well the truth is that women just love alphas, and thsts the fact"

Yes I still believe that women are attracted to Alpha because evolutionary-wise it makes sense why. Yet this never means that beta cannot be sexually attractive. And a nice guy is not always a beta, that's another stereotype. Yes alpha is attractive but beta can be attractive in their own ways, lot of people overlook beta attraction strategies. In reality, a lot of women first fall for an Alpha, usually turns out to be a bad experience after which they settle for a beta and have kids with him. Ironically beta wins in the end. Alpha loses because of behaviour problems.

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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